What a looser! First he is taking the cowards way out and jumped....THEN HE ACTUALLY MISSED THE DAMN PLANET! Some people can't do nothing right.
When I was in high school, there was a guy a year ahead of me whose girl friend dumped him. Being a looser he decides life is too hard without the little honey so he decided to end it. He swallows everything in the medicine cabinet and a handful of Quaaludes he scored. He passes out on his bed, wakes up a few hours later, pukes all over the place. FAIL ONE. He stumbles into his parents bedroom grabs dad's 357 Mag puts the barrel in his mouth and pulls the trigger. The gun goes off knocking out most of his teeth, a chunk of his tongue and tears a gash in both cheeks. The bullet goes out the back of his neck missing everything vital. FAIL TWO. He then drags himself to the bedroom window drops himself two stories. He lands in a big Pyracantha bush and gets cut to hell. FAIL THREE. When they let him out of the looney bin, he told everyone who would listen that he would never try to kill himself again. "It was just too much work."
..Just give me a minute so I can move my van.... 
Nah!
