Disappointed

[animal56]

I have a bug up my ass, and I need to get it out. Respond how you will, but know that I most likely won't read it or respond.

I have been coming to this website for a while, I took a small break at one point, but I now make it a regular part of my day to show up and read up on the latest news and posts in the world of muscle training. I've asked all kinds of questions, had all kinds of help, made all kinds of "internet" discoveries and even learned abit about most of the people on here. I've trusted a lot of opinions here. It's been a very good time for me.

However, what I am so disappointed about, is everybody's harsh reaction to a thread by MuscleGirl in another forum. (Those involved will KNOW which post I'm talking about.)

She came to everybody for advice, obviously because she trusts the people here (much like I did, and probably still do), and all you people (with the exception of a few) could do is lecture her and tell her she's an idiot for what happened.

#1. Let's remember that what's happened, has happened. Nothing will change that.
#2. She's obviously scared. Bully's attack people who are scared. Kind, considerate people support and help them. Seems there are a lot of bullies around here.
#3. She's not the only person being an "idiot". Takes 2 to tango. Don't point the finger.
#4. She asked for an answer. Not a lecture.

I know bodybuilding is all about discipline and commitment, but there are real life issues in the real world as well. I also know that everyone meant well, but there is a time for stern "parenting" and a time for sympathetic support. This is not the army.

Everybody has their own story to tell dealing with this issue, and some of us have first hand experience. It does not give us the right to criticize, especially when what has happened, isn't even a sure thing. Let her deal with it, support her, and advise her.

After all, advice is the primary interest on this bulletin board, is it not?

I am very disgusted and disappointed.

Rant done.

 

[CRASHMAN]

A-men....am i being a hipocrite? i don't think i lectured her

 

[lean_n_76er]

BUMP!

 

[Arnold]

ummm...I did not lecture her...if I did I would be a hypocrite cause I have had a few of those mistakes in my past.

 

[mmafiter]

Hang on there Animal56.

First of all, she came on here with a scenario that was so absurd and immature, somebody had to say something. I she wants to play grown-up, then maybe she should act like one.

Then to say "please give me support only, no negative feedback" seems to me to be asking for confirmation that what she did was ok. Well, like everything in the adult world, there are at least two sides to every story. You want to make a life altering decision, but ONLY want supportive answers? Please.

Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one, so when you come on a public forum and ask a question, you're going to get differing opinions.

I think you'll find that most people who were hard on her, actually are trying to help her understand that life isn't a game, or always fun, particularly when you become a teenage parent and you have another person's life depending on you. I only wish I had someone when I was a teen that would have took me aside and said "Hey, smarten the hell up!" and laid it all on the line for me.

 

[lina]

Haven't read the thread yet but now I will...

Did the thought occur that to you that the reason they were hard on her was because THEY CARE for her?

 

[Muscle_Girl]

Sure, if you want to show me that you care about the situation then say it! I don't need a parental figure in this case and would appreciate it if you didn't act that way!

I am glad that you posted this Animal, as many people needed to look at the whole story and not what I should have done.. whats done is done and leave it at that.. I am on the recieving end of advice right now.

As for the many hipocrits on this site, I hope that you can look back on your past and see exactly why I am going through this aswell. Curiosity runs wild in everyone, I just chose to take this route for it.

PS. I am not intending to make people fly off the handle with this one, but simply look at your own past before you start yelling at me.. did you need support?

 

[naturaltan]

Originally posted by animal56
... but there are real life issues in the real world as well.

which is why the harsh reaction. There is bodybuilding mistakes like 'opps, I had only 3 meals and 2 beers instead of 6 and a lot of water.' Then there are real issues like teenage pregancy. People will be quick to jump on such issues because of the state of the world today. Everywhere you look, there are teenage parents. Granted, there are some that might be able to handle parenthood, but most are probably not prepared to handle it. If it weren't for family and friends, some teens could not cope with parenting. I agree that MG might need some support, but she also needs to see how serious her 'real life issue' is. I'm lucky to say that I didn't engage in sex in my teen years. That doesn't make me any better than anyone else, I just choose not to have to deal with any mistakes that might have come from it. I don't MG personally and don't know whether if, put to the test, that she wouldn't come out on top. I hope that if things don't go to her liking, that she's prepared to handle the HUGE responsibility for her mistake.

And at the point that something comes of this, I'm sure support will be given, because as you've said, what's been done has been done.

MG ... I hope you're able to take what's been said and learn from it. You made a serious life-altering mistake. Please take the harsh statements as a learning tool and go forward as a more educated young lady.

 

[kuso]

Originally posted by lina


Did the thought occur that to you that the reason they were hard on her was because THEY CARE for her?

animal56.........I saw and read the thread several times, deciding not to post myself....couldn`t have said anything that hadn`t been said there by someone anyway BUT, one thing I think you, and maybe MG herself are missing here.
Most of us have known MG for a LONG time....way before we made the move to this board................................abusive BF`s, running away from home.......we`ve shared in quite a bit of her life with her, and have offered advice where we can, and some of us have formed a close relationship with her.

Admittedly some of the comments were harsh, but I think no harsher than they would be if you were talking to your best friend or brother or sister, or someone else you care about. When you reach a certain point in a relationship, and care enough, I think there is really no reason to sugar coat whatever advice you chose to give........and hopefully the person can sort though it all and decide what advice they are willing to take.

This is not meant to defend, or attack anyone that posted in that thread.....just my take on it.

 

[w8lifter]

Excellent posts NT & kuso