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The female sex drive.

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Well, I am not really sure why you continue to post then. It seems as though you have already given up. Just realize, in sickness and in health.. you are turning your back on the sickness, whats to say you won't do it with the next one.

So youre assuming shes sick? Maybe she just doesnt love him.
 
Well, I am not really sure why you continue to post then. It seems as though you have already given up. Just realize, in sickness and in health.. you are turning your back on the sickness, whats to say you won't do it with the next one.

Its been 12 years... there is a point in time where you have to make a choice. I would say encourage her to get to the doctor for maybe a few more weeks, possibly a month and be supportive of her sister as you are, but don't throw away your life and some of your daughters by being in an unhealthy and unhappy home. Seen the ramification of this in many friends, it is the kids who suffer the most later on so he is not being selfish at all by wanting to say enough is enough.
 
So youre assuming shes sick? Maybe she just doesnt love him.
If you had been reading from the start, you would understand why I regard this as a sickness that she has. Its not like it was sudden that she started acting this way. Why would a woman bare a mans child just to treat him like dirt afterwards? I believe that this is a post partum depression that has spiraled into something more serious, and won't end without the right support.

Mental illness, depression in this case, is a serious thing. Most people don't realize its happening to them. Its also a difficult thing to admit to yourself, let alone others.
 
Its been 12 years... there is a point in time where you have to make a choice. I would say encourage her to get to the doctor for maybe a few more weeks, possibly a month and be supportive of her sister as you are, but don't throw away your life and some of your daughters by being in an unhealthy and unhappy home. Seen the ramification of this in many friends, it is the kids who suffer the most later on so he is not being selfish at all by wanting to say enough is enough.
Please read my above post. This has only been since her pregnancy, not throughout their relationship. Believe their child is 4-5.. so definately not 12 years.
 
If you had been reading from the start, you would understand why I regard this as a sickness that she has. Its not like it was sudden that she started acting this way. Why would a woman bare a mans child just to treat him like dirt afterwards? I believe that this is a post partum depression that has spiraled into something more serious, and won't end without the right support.

Mental illness, depression in this case, is a serious thing. Most people don't realize its happening to them. Its also a difficult thing to admit to yourself, let alone others.

Ever thought theres more to the story than his interpretation? We really dont know other than speculation.
 
What else do you think it is? Its difficult for me to believe that she would just stick with the marriage being unhappy for this long. It has worn on him and eventually broken him, but if the love has been gone since she had the kid, its worn on her a whole lot more.

Just me, I wouldn't be able to put up that sort of show for that long, I can barely do it for a week. Then again, I am probably one of the most honest people on the planet, to my own detriment sometimes.
 
Please read my above post. This has only been since her pregnancy, not throughout their relationship. Believe their child is 4-5.. so definately not 12 years.

I agree it is obviously some form of depression, the alcohol usage alone in binges solidified my thoughts on that. She has a choice though, be depressed and do nothing or talk to a doctor. A reasonable time frame for her to make an appointment, keep it, and see what treatment does for her seems in order. Three months with the first two done in a month will show initiative on her part. I lived with a depressed woman, it is like living on the footsteps of he'll; especially when she does nothing about it or won't even if she knows it (I dealt with the latter, drove me to kick her out, I have no remorse either).

Selling it to her will be the challenge.
 
Wife's sister is still alive, she'll be out for few more days, detoxing asleep, and hopefully makes a full recovery, who knows.

I told the wife I'm done.

She backpedaled, blamed me, started crying... I told her she's acting like a 5 year old (like she said to me when I was trying to pour my heart out)

We remained calm.

I said how long do you think you can put on this act for?? This last minute plea? She did say, maybe you're right.

Said we must remain friends, as we will still be raising our child together.

................................

Before all this the 'other woman' got all weird on me, I think she caught herself falling for a married guy and flipped some sort of switch half way through the day her texts went odd.

I told her I'm not looking to get into a relationship after a 12 year one, and that I don't chase people, so I'm not going to text her anymore........

.......................................................

Wife STILL refuses to talk to her doctor. I said if not for me, than at least do it for yourself. Nope..............

So there it is. The most faithful guy I've ever met (me) driven to cheat, still didn't have the heart to do it even with permission, weather I wanted to or not.

All I wanted was some hugs and affection.....:)

I feel good guys. I really do. I feel like I'm taller and wiser. One step closer to being free to find someone who deserves me.

It's only just begun. Thanks again for everyones inputs, and for reading my long ass posts. Much appreciated!
 
Well, I am not really sure why you continue to post then. It seems as though you have already given up. Just realize, in sickness and in health.. you are turning your back on the sickness, whats to say you won't do it with the next one.

If the next one does similar acts I'll turn my back on her VERY fast.... I'm done playing these silly games.

MG, I was the only one in this relationship trying to make it work..... If another woman refuses to work on relationship woes, then she'll suffer similar fate, albeit alot faster.
 
IML Gear Cream!
Poor you! My sex drive is pretty healthy I think. I can barely go two days without sex! Did you and your wife ever resolve that issue?
 
Damiana and Femstim

Hey Bud, Well recently i had a similar issue with my wife so i got my hands on some damiana root powder. It worked really well im still debating on telling her that I've given it to her but regardless I decided to buy some Femstim Female Libido Enhancement to try it out some more.
 
Wow... hurts to read this shit...... She' still a good friend (the ex), and great mom.... There is a lot more that came out from this post than can possibly be thought............
 
Sure!

Last Thursday i told her I don't want her sex anymore. I told her she must earn the right to be with me, just as much as I have to, to be with her.

Well, last Friday was her graduation. It was nice, and we went to a nice restaurant afterwards, and then to an after party, where she got drunk and I had to babysit a little bit (I don't drink). NO big deal, I pulled her out of there around midnight as the party was really lame to anyone that wasn't drunk. Went home and I listened to her talk for about 3-4 hours, rubbing her neck, back, and just talking. - No pressure for sex. Ended up just going to bed, the little one kept waking up, so not sure if things would have been different if not, but she was drunk anyhow, but no return affection.


Sat Night, I tried to lay in bed with her to go to sleep, but I was burning inside, because I thought I got through to her on Friday. Nope, zero affection towards me all day or night. Which is fine, I didn't want her lame ass sex anyhow. I got all choked up and told her I really feel like there is no love here for me. She didn't respond to watching her husband be upset at all. Told me I'm acting like a 5 year old.... Bitch.

Sunday the kid wanted to sleep in her own room (Which is a HUGE problem that she sleeps on the floor in our bedroom, but thats another issue). She said, " THIS DOESN't MEAN YOU're GOING TO BUG ME TONIGHT". I said, I TOLD YOU I DON't WANT YOUR SEX. When you're ready to be close to me, then fine, until then, I don't expect, or want that lame ass, just lay there, passionless, loveless sex.

Burning inside, I wanted to punch this asshole in the face. Of course I didn't. Then I said, You know what, Here's my wedding ring. Give it back to me when you're ready to treat me like a husband again. She said, Thats not going to hurt me. I don't care if you never wear it again......... I said its not my intention now, or EVER to hurt you. I want to make you happy, not hurt you. You're the one who is hurting me. I've never taken my ring off for 7 1/2 years. ....

Came home Monday from work, and nothing was changed. Normal talking turned quickly to arguing, so I told her I don't want anything to do with her until she apologizes to me. When she's ready to be my wife again, put the ring back on my hand....... More bickering, everything is always my fault. I'm the only one here trying to be nice and ignore the asshole comments and save this shitty marriage.

So I went out. For the first time in 7 years, with no wedding ring on. Hit this bar where I know a few of the bartenders, and the owners daughter (all women).

Epiphany - Something has changed withing the last year. I've always been good looking, but I'm hot now. Super shart clean-cut haircut from my lovely hairdressor (who gave me her number), Tan as hell from MT2, and Working in the summer heat and lack of appetite (still working out 5 days a week of course), I'm cutting fast and hard. Looking good. Shedding BF like nobodys business, and Lean gaining muscle. I get stared at. Women can't resist looking. I've always looked, but now when I look, They are usually alraedy looking at me, so I bust them peeking instead of them busting me. I'm aging like a fine wine :) Narcissistic rant over now.

Anyhow,

In the words of many women, I'm gorgeous. At her grad party thing all the women where all over me, even telling my wife how gorgeous I am, and would love to take me home. I was using the skills I gained from THE GAME book you recommended to me, and I could make them stutter, fluster, and lose thought by looking into their eyes....

So at the Bar, I was talking to This bartender, Blond, 8 with a very full, but very beautiful body. A pool tournament started, so I joined in. We had a random partner, mine was good. We ended up never losing a game, and won the pot. So I left with more cash then I came with after being there for 6 hours.

So the bartender is asking me all sorts of questions about me, responding to my game of course. Asked me about kids, I said one, and she said what happened? What do you mean, she said with your Ex. I wasn't prepared for that, so I said something, but don't remember. It was a half lie.

The DAMN GOOD GUY inside me, which I'm trying so hard to get rid of, made me correct the lie and tell her I'm still married in a dead relationship.

After the pool tourney was over, everyone left, she gave me her number, told me to call her anytime I want, but She wont get involved with a married guy. However, this is probably just a line to make her feel like she tried to do the morally correct thing. I think I could have made her eat those words, but I didn't push it. The entire night talking to her was more of a first date feel, she told me about all her relationships, and some pretty deep stuff. Kind of odd. Definately a strong attraction between us..... We played some music on the jukebox thing together, and then I left, she told me to keep in touch, and she hopes the best for me.

Now this other girl there, said I'm so happy to see you here! I was going to call you, but I don't have your number! (Hint, hint)....

Needless to say, Women treat me very well, except for my wife, ironically.

So now my heads full of confidence, and It feels good to be treated nicely, and to be shown affection.... duh....

I go home and slip into bed, and she starts............................ You can't keep going out like this, The Kid keeps asking where you are............

What you'd rather argue in front of her?

I said, TELL ME IF THIS IS OVER, SO I CAN MOVE ON.

No answer.

I said, You know what, you've been using me for years, and I'm better than that. It took me a while to catch on, or to believe it, but Now I see it clear as day (thanks to You guys here at IM!!!).

Now she says she loves me, and doesn't want it to be over. I said your words mean shit, your actions speak alot more truth. When you're ready to be my wife again, apologize and put the ring back on my hand. ....... Stubburn asshole said something to the point that this is my fault, (again) always my fault...... BULLSHIT.


I said since you're my roomate, when you get a job you can split the bills like roomates do. She said I make more money than she ever will, so thats not fair....... whatever............ Now we want to play fair???

I said you spread your legs just to keep the carrot in front of the donkey long enough. You just couldn't fake it anymore it seems. I said that is sick, and that I was a fool for letting it satisfy me for the time being. Told her that telling me to go be with someone else for love is sick too. She said she didn't mean that, but she told me this SO many times over the years..... I said BULLSHIT again, because on our deep Friday talk she told me about a slutty classmate at the grad party that I should be with for a week to get it out of my system....

I'm all set with this. I said I'm sorry, but please give me my bank card so you can stop spending my money, and so I can save up to move out.

She said if you take it, its definitely over.

I said GOOD, closure. Went to bed.

In the morning I told her she can still reverse this if she wants.

I come home from work today, and nothing changed. No fighting, but nothing else..........

I put my arms around her from the back, and asked if she misses being close to me at all. She said No, she has alot on her mind. Job interview tomorrow, and some test she still needs to take for the school she graduated from, long story why its after the grad, but it is) I understand, but thats not love my friends.

Half of me wants to find someone out there that wants to treat me how I deserve to be treated.

The other half of me wants to be single for a while and enjoy the love of many women. I'm in my prime, i have to be better looking than 95% of my male competition out there, and smarter than most too. I'm a catch and i know it. Women aren't afraid to tell me either.

I really don't want to reconcile now. However I still will try again if she shows effort. I want to move out, and get divorced, but financially can't at the moment.

Breaks my fucking heart because of my little girl.

I'm starting to hate my wife.

So thats where its at. Sitting here typing with no wedding ring on, and now It burns me inside to think about all the time and money this asshole cost me.

I flipped the table over in our relationship. (Figuratively).

On a side note, we enjoyed the movie HALL PASS together, which was super funny, however no mention of me getting a hall pass was talked about! lol

I'm alright with whatever the outcome is. My social circle is growing fast and strong, so when the bomb gets dropped I wont be alone. I seemed to have lost touch with most of my old friends when I started dating this asshole 11 years ago. Thats fine. I kind of like making new ones better.

So I'm 34, in my prime, and not taking anymore bullshit.

My next step is to get her served for divorce for Cruel and unusual treatment.... Just not sure how long that will take. I need a few weeks for money reasons, I think its 250 to file, and I have a SHITLOAD of bills that need to be paid for work, ... Insurances and shit.... Plus 4th july weekend, maybe I'll fake it now for a while.

I may still try to make her fall in love with me again, and then break her heart. I'm usually not like this, but I've changed. She is 10 steps below me. I think I was mesmerized by her beauty all these years. .... Sorry hun, you don't have the golden pussy.:sorry:

Priceless! Couldn't have said it better myself!
 
Here is a killer punch here.... Guys....

Ready for this?

I actually met someone on THIS forum that moved across country and we were very happy for over 2 years.... Unfortunately .... Gods Joke... As always... I wasn't compatible with her 3 kids.... But Elsewise I probably would have married her............ :)

Bet that happens all the time on these forums though? :)
 
Wow, crazy man!
 
....wow

this thread is something else
 
good lord, I spent the last hour reading this. I feel your pain bro, my wife and I were able to fix our problems. we're back to the passionate jack rabbit sex we used to have all the time before our daughter came along.

Happy for you Bro
 
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