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Please help with my marriage and life issue

bababoeyasf

bababoeyasf

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Ok so i dont really know where else to go with this and im sick of struggling with it in my own head. Im going to save the sugar coating and just make this blunt and real so people get a real idea of whats going on. I have a wife of two years she is beautiful fit loyal and the best wife you could ever ask for she cooks cleans does the dishes i mean no joke shes perfect super laid back doesnt bitch doesnt complain i mean never ever. Since i first met her though i have never been crazy about her. I see all her good qualities and thats why i wanted to date her and evevtually we got married. On paper she is perfect however her personality is kinda DUD. she smiles laughs but never has much to say isnt a deep thinker. I cant ever have a conversation with her on anything political or current events. I am a talker and a thinker and my whole family is so ill get off the phone with my dad talking about some current issue for half hour and then i go home tell her my opinion on it all and shes will go "yeah thats wierd". I mean its always two three words thats all you get out of her. Ive tried to tell her this is an issue she says its just her and its always been her and shes right. The problem is im 28, I love my life. I love coming home to a clean house i love our dogs i love she cooks and does all the choirs. this hurts to say but i dont love her. What do i do? Focus on the good aspects and stay with her or since im young and dont have kids get out of the marriage and find a real love? I have met and loved girls for thier personalities so i know its out there. But i know she will take my dogs who i love to death she will be gone ill be stuck with all the choirs in a lonely house money will be tighter. LONG READ I KNOW SORRY but someone please help. Also because she is perfect and sweet and didnt cheat and im not mad at her and i dont hate her i hate the thought of hurting her and leaving her would hurt her so much. then other days i just want to love someone the way i know i could and i know its never going to be her.
 
You are in a tough spot my friend. I feel for you, I really do. Now here is my opinion on your situation.
. When you got married there had to be some love there for you to take that step. Marriage is a life long commitment that we enter into under a leagle contract recognized by the state. You take a vow to be with this person for the rest of your life no matter the circumstances until death do you part. Now on the flip side of this you have said that you dont love this person and it is now just a convenient relationship for you to be in. Well this is not good. You are not giving the other person the respect they deserve or respecting yourself. This may sound harsh so far but I have lived this bro and the only thing that will help is honesty. I think you need to sit down and have a talk with your wife. Dont tell her that you dont love her yet but you do need to have a serious conversion about your concerns and how they are effecting you and the relationship. Also think about what you could do to better the relationship. Divorce should be the last option after you have exhausted all other possibilities. Remember that this woman loves you and at one point you loved her enough to ask her to be with you forever. I wish you the best of luck my friend!
 
I think you need to go back to the roots of your relationship and think about what it was that made you ask that question that is meant to be a forever thing. Your only complaint seems to be that she isn't into talking politics or holding long conversation. In no way should something like that be a deal breaker. Dig deep and think, if you were to find someone that would do what she doesn't they are sure to have something that would be missing i.e. Not doing dishes/cleaning. No two people are made the same as everyone has flaws. We are human. Marriage is full of give and take and sacrifice.
sit down and talk and I'm sure she could come up with traits of yours she looks past to keep everything going strong.
best of luck to you and your marriage.
 
Well if she does all the choir ?

I know..

But you'd really hurt her if you had kids. And you should've asked us this before you got married.
 
I'll take her off your hands bro. I hate talking current events. I hate talking politics even more. I'd rather be shot in the fucking head. It's a waste of fucking time.

You are not accomplishing anything talking about that crap. You are making yourself believe in your mind that your opinion is going to change things. It's not. It's fucking sad that you have to call up your dad and talk about this garbage. You are not accomplishing a single thing but making yourself and your stupid fucking opinions heard. All you are looking for is a yes man. Someone to tell you your opinon is right cause you have ego problems. Meanwhile you have a beautifull wife that is there for you and loves you that you are neglecting....why the fuck do you want to talk to her about this shit anyway? That is what your dad is for you stupid fuck. Join a fucking online debate club and waste your fucking time on that then go have angry sex with your wife. Fucking people make me sick.
 
Do you know what she likes to talk about? Might want to rethink your approach and find something that excites her too.
 
Love is an emotion just like anger and happiness. It comes and it goes. Be a man and find a reason to love her like you promised in your vows.
 
You are being selfish by wanting her to be interested in talking about this fucking shit. Just because you like talking about it doesn't mean she does. If you came up to me and started talking bullshit politics....I'd literally tell you to fuck your own facehole. That's what she is probably thinking but she isn't mean like me. She's actually an empathetic person that doesn't force her views and stupid ass opinions on people. She's nice, considerate, soft spoken, quiet, obedient, pretty, she fucking works then cleans the house..........what the fuck is your problem? Your reason for not ending the relationship is the dog.....?

What are your views anyway? Why don't you start a thread here and let some steam off. That way we can all see what kind of rightwing wackjob you are.
 
Since I deal with this every day as a divorce lawyer I will throw in my two cents. The most common reason that I see for men getting divorces is lack of common interests with their wife. We get a lot of 50 year old men that want to travel or do activities that their wife won't do and end up divorced. You have to see yourself with that person doing common interests or it won't happen. If you just want a clean house get a maid.

I see cases daily where someone divorces their hot wife to be with someone less hot but that has common interests. Staying with her because she cooks and cleans is not fair to her.
 
I'm sorry I used that example it's not just politics which I actually don't even follow much it's current events it's anything. Anything at all I can't get the girl to say two words on anything. Her family and life long girl friends say the same she just not a talker never has been. I could wanna talk About how great the pasta is at the place were eating and she says yeah it's good everything is two words and like pulling teeth. Her family says he's always been very quiet she doesn't have a big personality at all. I've talked to her about it a lot and she more or less qua it's just her and I should have known going in which is true. I'll see something in a movie and wanna talk later About it and it's two words yeah that was weird she will say.
 
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sixsix250 said:
You are in a tough spot my friend. I feel for you, I really do. Now here is my opinion on your situation.
. When you got married there had to be some love there for you to take that step. Marriage is a life long commitment that we enter into under a leagle contract recognized by the state. You take a vow to be with this person for the rest of your life no matter the circumstances until death do you part. Now on the flip side of this you have said that you dont love this person and it is now just a convenient relationship for you to be in. Well this is not good. You are not giving the other person the respect they deserve or respecting yourself. This may sound harsh so far but I have lived this bro and the only thing that will help is honesty. I think you need to sit down and have a talk with your wife. Dont tell her that you dont love her yet but you do need to have a serious conversion about your concerns and how they are effecting you and the relationship. Also think about what you could do to better the relationship. Divorce should be the last option after you have exhausted all other possibilities. Remember that this woman loves you and at one point you loved her enough to ask her to be with you forever. I wish you the best of luck my friend!
Click to expand...
That is very well said.
 
raysd21 said:
I'll take her off your hands bro. I hate talking current events. I hate talking politics even more. I'd rather be shot in the fucking head. It's a waste of fucking time.

You are not accomplishing anything talking about that crap. You are making yourself believe in your mind that your opinion is going to change things. It's not. It's fucking sad that you have to call up your dad and talk about this garbage. You are not accomplishing a single thing but making yourself and your stupid fucking opinions heard. All you are looking for is a yes man. Someone to tell you your opinon is right cause you have ego problems. Meanwhile you have a beautifull wife that is there for you and loves you that you are neglecting....why the fuck do you want to talk to her about this shit anyway? That is what your dad is for you stupid fuck. Join a fucking online debate club and waste your fucking time on that then go have angry sex with your wife. Fucking people make me sick.
Click to expand...
Good lord! I just shit my pants from laughing so hard.
 
Does she at least laugh at your jokes?
 
Can I ask why you married her if you felt she didn't have a personality?
 
Good fucking lord.. You sound like a pussy maybe your wife is the one with the balls. Oh I dont know what I want that sounds like a bitch move. Are you gay bro?
I talk to my wife all the time and we talk about stuff that I dont talk to my friends and co workers... You sound like you are looking for a clone of yourself.
Treat the wife right and maybe she will stay with you. Sounds like a good woman like mine... So man up bitch.
 
raysd21 said:
I'll take her off your hands bro. I hate talking current events. I hate talking politics even more. I'd rather be shot in the fucking head. It's a waste of fucking time.

You are not accomplishing anything talking about that crap. You are making yourself believe in your mind that your opinion is going to change things. It's not. It's fucking sad that you have to call up your dad and talk about this garbage. You are not accomplishing a single thing but making yourself and your stupid fucking opinions heard. All you are looking for is a yes man. Someone to tell you your opinon is right cause you have ego problems. Meanwhile you have a beautifull wife that is there for you and loves you that you are neglecting....why the fuck do you want to talk to her about this shit anyway? That is what your dad is for you stupid fuck. Join a fucking online debate club and waste your fucking time on that then go have angry sex with your wife. Fucking people make me sick.
Click to expand...
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to raysd21 again.
 
I know you want a passionate partner to converse with, but find a friend for that. I am willing to bet she isn't bitchy either. If this is the case than enjoy, a peaceful house. The girl you are probably thinking about in the back of you mind probably looks fun and is talkative,but you will tire of all that passion when it is directed at you in a negative way.
 
need2lift said:
Do you know what she likes to talk about? Might want to rethink your approach and find something that excites her too.
Click to expand...

Exactly. Find something in common that you're both excited or passionate about (besides sex). You just might be very surprised just how "smart" she really is and fall for her all over again.
 
You're lucky, don't fuck it up. She listens to you, which makes you feel like the greatest thing to ever hit the universe, she keeps the house together, etc. And you're considering ending it because she either doesn't want to or doesn't care to talk about lame bullshit? Be interested in her. She has feelings, too. She wants you to talk to her ABOUT her. What interests her? What gets her talking? Why doesn't she talk? I'll tell you why, nobody ever asked or bothered figuring it out. Maybe she's miserable because you want to talk about, what is to her, stupid bullshit. My wife was quiet and now I can't get her to shut the fuck up. I used to be the talker, now I'm the listener. If you want to talk about politics and current issues go find yourself a support group so you can all sit around agreeing with each other.

She's not there for you, you're there for each other. It's a two-way street.
 
Sounds like you want to throw away a perfectly good sane wife because she isn't Bill O'reilly with tits. You shouldn't have gotten married. You shouldn't get married again. You definitely shouldn't have kids.
 
you loved her at some point, thats why you married her right? focus on what that was, and maybe try talking about something she is interested in and not just things you are. shes a woman, for the most part they dont give 2 shits about the things men care about and talk about. you may find another woman who can talk up a storm about current events, but you eat tv dinners every night and the house is a wreck. nobody is perfect, not even you. focus on the good stuff and leave the political conversations to your dad and your buds. sounds to me like you got a good one, they they aint easy to find and you dont know what you got til its gone.
 
Grass always looks greener on the other side, but when you get to it you'll find out it was just astro-turf and regret leaving your lush pasture for it...
 
Damn this forum has gotten slow... the last post was over a month ago and its still on the front page?!?

Anyway, like others said, you suck. The fact that custody of your stupid dogs and the fact that you would have to do more chores are the two first things that come to mind when you think about breaking your wedding vows tells me you are a selfish little child. You stood up in front of all your family and all of her family and promised to love her through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, and now you are thinking about a divorce because she doesn't talk enough? And one of your top concerns is that she would take your dogs that you "love to death"?? Do your fucking dogs talk to you? Shit man, if her not babbling with you is a deal breaker, think about her getting cancer or something serious. Clearly you couldn't be man enough to stick with her through that.

Here is just a stab in the dark, maybe she doesn't talk that much with you because the shit you have to say isn't that fucking interesting. Maybe you aren't quiet as smart as you think you are; clearly you don't have the good character to be decent to the one person who made life's biggest commitment with you. Its been my experience that stupidity is exponentially more prevalent among people with bad character.

So in summation, yes you should get a divorce. Not because you aren't stimulated in conversation, but because you are a shitty person and your wife deserves better.
 
bababoeyasf said:
I'm sorry I used that example it's not just politics which I actually don't even follow much it's current events it's anything. Anything at all I can't get the girl to say two words on anything. Her family and life long girl friends say the same she just not a talker never has been. I could wanna talk About how great the pasta is at the place were eating and she says yeah it's good everything is two words and like pulling teeth. Her family says he's always been very quiet she doesn't have a big personality at all. I've talked to her about it a lot and she more or less qua it's just her and I should have known going in which is true. I'll see something in a movie and wanna talk later About it and it's two words yeah that was weird she will say.
Click to expand...

Chiming in late,

From what you say these are issues that are causing your concern and uncomfort.

As time goes on, you'll decide to continue the marriage without love or to move on and separate.
 
You say many times that you lover her and only say you don't once. I think you are intimidated by her. You feel you have to constantly try to prove you self worthy. Let's face it. Maybe what you want to talk about is just superficial and boring. You might not be deep enough for her BUT SHE LOVES YOU AND IS PUTTING UP WITH YOU BECAUSE OF THAT! You can't just shut the fuck up and enjoy being with her in that moment in time. That's what is really sad.
 
Lol. I'll bet she's on another forum saying she has a great husband but can't stand the fact that all he wants to do is talk about fucking politics.
 
lets face it buddy, you know what you got, you're not sure about what you're getting. every woman will have a falt. I sugest you read this book before you leave. Trust me, its worth it. go to amazon and look for In It To Win It by Dr. Raymond Wells. I almost walked out of my marriage too. this book saved me
 
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