Ok here I go...
Thank you for the responses, let me see if I can cover everything, just getting to this.
About my website, thank you, yes an open heart (which is currently in a lot of pain and broken) as well as the truth can be quite disturbing to many, but thank you for the feedback, I hope you stick around, it's only getting started, thus the name LABYRINTH. It's just pretty much my totality, my little creative place to purge, so everything is all spilled out, anyone can interpret it as they like, but it's my heart and soul all there...
In terms of me...
Yes, I am not overweight by any means, but of course, I am a bit heavier than I know I should be. I am about 5 '8, I've always had an athletic build, broad shoulders, etc. and after two rest breast reduction surgeries (you can see in my photograph below, the scars, etc. I do that for awareness...) of course, a significant amount of weight that was up there was off, but now since times are hard again, the lack of exercise, the weight has slowly (not massively, I've never had an overly large trouble with weight at all... but enough to know I am not healthy again) So things are starting to shall we say "grow back" where they shouldn't simply because of the extra weight that building up...
Dale, you brought up something interesting I didn't know of (hence my questions...) you concentrated on the stomach with Trim Spa... so basically, does all that drug do is deal solely on your stomach, so food consumption is squeezed and then that's all? Meaning it doesn't even center on any points of the body aside from the tummy... I think I knew that already, but still confused a bit...
Expression...
My goals clarified...
I'd like to ABOVE ALL just feel healthy again and have the kind of energy I did before I got in this horrible situation and taking Tylenol PMs to end the days took over... Obviously that's an entirely different matter...
I NEED to loose several pounds for certain, I'd say at least 20... like I said, I'm not nor have I ever been built to be stick thin, but I have a lot that's just suffocating me and I'd like to feel good about myself.
I suppose the twist in this is that AS IS I don't eat much at all... I am a candy addict, I have a sweet tooth from hell, so when I do eat, really it's only tiny little nibbles, little candies, etc. other than that I am so busy working on my website, my writing, my dreams, etc... so I never really eat MEALS at all, never have, and that has been ok... so it's a real awkward case.
Of course also in this, my
location is key... I want to be somewhere where the sun is shining where I can just be free to walk around barefoot. I'm sure I'm like everyone when I say, that when I am in a place an enviornment where I can breathe, read in peace, go for a walk if I like, and just be happy and not feel so suffocated, my motivation for working out, healing myself physically and mentally is much more alive... so yes, it is sad, but I am working so hard to get out of here (New Jersey now) but seemingly the dark cloud has refused to lift... not easy doing it as always totally alone...