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Flex said:He says "well, i've been to Cancun".
Damn, that is hilarious!!!448448 said:I have these two friends(a couple) they went to cancun, and had a few threesomes. they have had hiv for a few years.
ponyboy said:When I was in school I lived in a frat house on the same floor as a guy that was kind of a freak - he always had these weird goth chicks in and out all the time. One day as I'm walking to the bathroom I hear a voice calling out from his room. I knock on the door and hear a girl's voice quietly asking for help. Opening the door, there is a girl handcuffed to this guys' bed naked - he had gone to class and left her there sleeping chained up! She couldn't reach the key!
Funny thing was she wasn't pissed about being left there. She just needed to go to the bathroom. She was pretty hot too. Freaking weirdos.
Carpe Diem said:My package had dried to my underwear and I had to tear it off like a big bandage.
ALBOB said:Come on, you didn't blackmail her? "Sure bitch, I'll unlock the cuffs......................for a price." And don't even try to tell me she was too ugly. You were school age and she had a heartbeat. (At that age, if it's been too long, even the heartbeat isn't mandatory. )
Carpe Diem said:I used to date this girl that liked to go to parties at peoples houses and have butt sex in thier bedrooms. One night we had snuck into someones bedroom for the usual when she only had a little Ky jelly left in her tube. It wasn't going well so I looked for somethig that might take the place of the KY.
I saw this big container of clear looking gel setting on the counter so I grabbed a handful of it. It worked fine for a couple of seconds then she started squirming and then finally going crazy.
The stuff I had used was hairgel and it had Alcohol in it as a drying agent.
We left right away and when we got to her apartment I went into the other bedroom to wash the stuff off my dick. My package had dried to my underwear and I had to tear it off like a big bandage.
just the other night i was with my boyfriend. i think we all know where this ones headed. oops
so, where was I? i invited my boyfriend over for some candle lit dinner and a raunchy dick session. and let me tell you, we were in for a surprise. we started with dinner and a bubble bath. then we turned on some music (the new nickleback) needless to say, that led to some finger banging. he got me off once or twice just doing that. oh man! then we headed to the mall. i needed a comforter on my new bed. so we went to jc pennys. we were looking at the sheets when we saw a display bed. and right at that moment the new nickleback came on the loud speaker. the song was "photograph". no joke. my dick started to tingle a little bit. we ran hand in hand and jumped on the bed. we got in another fingerbang session that led to duel man explosions all over the place. boy, was it hot? me oh my.
the next day i missed my period. and now we are both 7 months pregnant
just the other night i was with my boyfriend. i think we all know where this ones headed. oops
so, where was I? i invited my boyfriend over for some candle lit dinner and a raunchy dick session. and let me tell you, we were in for a surprise. we started with dinner and a bubble bath. then we turned on some music (the new nickleback) needless to say, that led to some finger banging. he got me off once or twice just doing that. oh man! then we headed to the mall. i needed a comforter on my new bed. so we went to jc pennys. we were looking at the sheets when we saw a display bed. and right at that moment the new nickleback came on the loud speaker. the song was "photograph". no joke. my dick started to tingle a little bit. we ran hand in hand and jumped on the bed. we got in another fingerbang session that led to duel man explosions all over the place. boy, was it hot? me oh my.
the next day i missed my period. and now we are both 7 months pregnant
I'm still waiting for the punchline that was a horror storyWhere to start?
I have over a million, since my buddies were the biggest scumbags alive, but they'll come to me slowly.
I'll start with this one....
My boy finally had sex with this chick he liked who lived next door. As their lying in bed, she asks "since we're probably gonna be sleeping together, i'd like to know how many girls you've been with".
Obviously my buddy is feelign awkward as hell, so he's like "uhhhh, not sure." She asks "over ten?" He says "yes". She asks "over twenty?". He says "yes". She is now starting to get real weirded out and asks, "over thirty?" He says "well, i've been to Cancun". She gets outta bed without saying a word, puts her clothes on, and doesn't talk to him again hahaha.
Hornychick, those are some scary stories. Thats all i have to say about that.
Once i was fucking this guy in the ass and he turned around and kissed me.
What a fag.