# 27 average sized hungry cats vs. an average sized man



## GFR (Jun 27, 2010)

When I first moved into my geek roommate's place, he had this debate  going on.  Who would win in a fight between a man and a 27 house cats who had not been fed for 7 days but they did have water.  

First off, its 1 vs 27.  The man has a condom on, the cats   were not breast fed.

No weapons.
It is to the death.  No escaping.
It is in a safe environment, much like a Republican convention .  The climate nor surroundings have NO  influence of the fight.  

Points that came up during our discussion:
-Panic.  "The man would prolly ( prolly is not a real word but I am a fucking moron so go with it) panic."  Not necessarily.  Its an average  man by average I am saying his cock is 6 inches erect.  This man is not dumb like me, but not a genius like John H.  He knows  going in, its either him or the 27 hungry cats.  He knows he must fight or die.   The cats wont panic. They rely on their ability to correct retards spelling mistakes .  The man  has adrenaline too, only the difference is he can't spell.

-Weapons.  "The man cant win without a knife"  Why?  The cats will bite  and grab and pull and tear, but that's it.  Once the cats jaw is in  use, its taken up.  The man has more natural weapons thanks to his  thumbs and poor spelling skills.  Also, cats hunt in packs.  How good are  they alone?

-Agility.  "The cats will grab the neck."  True.  However this man isn't  dumb and knows he can die.  Its safe to say he knows _how _he can  die and defend against it.  But the cats are more agile and will probably  know how to get the neck better than the man can defend it naturally.   With the man's more natural weapons, he could defend and grab a cats  neck.  Not to mention, a man can fight off his back, then again all animals can do this unless they are turtles.

-Size.  This is a tricky one.  Looking up the average size of a cat I   came up around a 10lb mark.  Finding an average man put his slightly  heavier.  As far as muscle type and placement goes, no one knows, except people with an education beyond the first grade.

-Killing Instinct. Cats have the advantage here, because men have never dropped an atom bomb or committed genocide.  However, with the  given circumstances, does it matter since were this far?


I brought this up when I was riding to school on the short buss  and what I found that people that didn't  even give it a moment's thought said "cats."  Whereas people who took a  moment and thought about it, they said "you are the biggest retard to ever ride this buss."

Vote your answer and explain why if it hasn't already been detailed.


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## Little Wing (Jun 27, 2010)

a starving house cat won't try to eat you even if it is part of a 27 member clowder. can you make them rabid or something? or give the man a stroke after he kills the first cat? or make him a hemophiliac? maybe if they were all inside something tight and dark like a closet or coffin 

i'm not voting 'till the man doesn't have a chance.


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## GFR (Jun 27, 2010)

^^^

Worst post on IM ever.


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## Little Wing (Jun 27, 2010)

i don't think even 27 house cats hell bent on killing a man could. any man that would take this wager i would HOPE by some miracle the cats actually kill him. he'd have a shitload of superficial lacerations, many bites that are surprisingly traumatic albeit too shallow to do much in the way of taxing his blood supply... and 27 dead cats. 


but that's not really your question is it.


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## DOMS (Jun 27, 2010)

I like Akira, but I laughed my ass off on the "AKIRA is a living abortion", so I had to pick that option.


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## DOMS (Jun 27, 2010)

You've gotta like the dramatic music.






YouTube Video


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## Little Wing (Jun 27, 2010)

^ cute. 

a lot of cats prefer a verbal take down.






YouTube Video


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## withoutrulers (Jun 27, 2010)

DOMS said:


> You've gotta like the dramatic music.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I love that doms is such a faggy cat lover
Can we put him in the room and see which one is the top or bottom (Doms pounded by 27 anal hungry cats)


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## SYN (Jun 27, 2010)




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## bio-chem (Jun 27, 2010)

"you are the biggest retard to ever ride this buss."

final answer. brilliant


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## Dark Geared God (Jun 27, 2010)

DOMS said:


> You've gotta like the dramatic music.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 its one of those mexican cats


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## Curt James (Jun 27, 2010)

Little Wing said:


> ^ cute.
> 
> a lot of cats prefer a verbal take down.
> 
> ...



 

In other news, I voted cats.







BEWARE!


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## fufu (Jun 28, 2010)

GeorgeForemanRules said:


> When I first moved into my geek roommate's place, he had this debate  going on.  Who would win in a fight between a man and a 27 house cats who had not been fed for 7 days but they did have water.
> 
> First off, its 1 vs 27.  The man has a condom on, the cats   were not breast fed.
> 
> ...



Teach me Master.


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## jmorrison (Jul 1, 2010)

I got my daughter a kitten a couple months ago.  Cute little fuzzball.  I have read about cats fucking people up, but those kinds of people are worthless.  Cats are small cute and harmless.  

When my dog came out to see what we had, that cute little 5 week old kitten went Scott Peterson and started fucking shit up.  It shredded my girlfriends hand, and then it jumped.  I went to grab all 6 ounces of fury and it bit me 4 times before I could even move my hand out of the way.  I wanted to kill it at this point, but that only put us on equal footing.  I had to throw a towel over it so I could grab it.  Yes, thats right, this thing was so pissed that I had time to run in the house, grab a towel and come back, because it was not running away.  It only wanted level ground to stand on while unleashing the apocolypse.

27 cats would fucking mangle an average man.  

6 inches flaccid or erect?


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## Little Wing (Jul 1, 2010)

oh man. 

did you know in postmortem predation a hungry dog will wait 4 or 5 days to start gnawing on their dead master but a cat just a day or two? yes, they are adorable little _beasts_.


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## CaptainNapalm (Jul 1, 2010)

27 cats without a doubt.  Until recently, I would have probably given this some thought but I watched as show not long ago where a perfectly good cat went bad and attacked a man in a convenience store.  This one cat alone inflicted enough damage in a matter of 30 seconds that the man had to be taken to hospital for nearly 50 stitches.  He was dazed and mangled.  I think 5 cats behaving the way I saw on the show would make quick work out of an average sized man.


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## HialeahChico305 (Jul 1, 2010)

CaptainNapalm said:


> 27 cats without a doubt.  Until recently, I would have probably given this some thought but I watched as show not long ago where a perfectly good cat went bad and attacked a man in a convenience store.  This one cat alone inflicted enough damage in a matter of 30 seconds that the man had to be taken to hospital for nearly 50 stitches.  He was dazed and mangled.  I think 5 cats behaving the way I saw on the show would make quick work out of an average sized man.



care to share the video????


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## NeilPearson (Jul 1, 2010)

I vote for the man... he would be a mess afterwards.  Cats can mess you up but the wounds would all be too small to be life threatening.


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## Captn'stabbin (Jul 1, 2010)

cats all day...








YouTube Video


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## maniclion (Jul 1, 2010)

You know that chinese torture method death of 1000 cuts..... 27 cats x 4 claws per foot = little over 4 1/2 swats from each cat and you're fucked....

Not to mention 27 cats in one spot your going to have a shit.piss covered area, each needle point claw dipped in shit......ever heard of cat scratch fever?  

If you pass out remember cats can steal your breath...


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## CORUM (Jul 2, 2010)

27 hungry pussies huh..... Id let em take me


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## Mh000 (Jul 4, 2010)

the man for sure ....


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## Little Wing (Sep 21, 2010)

we all know an AKIRA, a person that is just unlikable no matter how hard you try. who keeps proving all the reasons you shouldn't like him and never gives you much if any reason to warm up to him. 

an opinionated asshole know it all cunt who tries to bully you into accepting his opinion because he's too fucking insecure to accept *anyone* disagreeing with his cry baby self. oh i'm right here's why here's why....

the guy in the crowd that for some inexplicable reason gives the girls the willies. his personality is as repulsive as his little pinched asshole looking mouth.

Thank you foreman for making this thread. i should have said how i felt then and not gave a shit about being nice.


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## vortrit (Sep 21, 2010)

Meow.


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## MDR (Sep 21, 2010)

I'm voting for the cats, but I think you should write a screenplay and submit it to Hollywood.  Sounds better than a lot of horror movies out there.  Maybe the cats could be affected by a mutant strain of cat food and roam the streets killing random people.  Mutant Zombie Cats!  Sounds like a winner.


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## Little Wing (Sep 21, 2010)

my vote that AKIRA is a living abortion was the 7th only a few minutes ago. seems i'm not alone in my opinion of him.


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## SilentBob187 (Sep 21, 2010)

I think that we're all overlooking a key part of this hypothetical quandary:



GeorgeForemanRules said:


> The man has a condom on



Relevance?

I cannot vote until all of my questions are answers surrounding this situation.  

What other devices are at the man's disposal?  Is he fully clothed?  Is there tape?  If he's fully clothed he could wrap his shirt around his neck to protect his veins from those ferocious cat bites.  He could do the same thing with electrical tape around his wrists to protect his veins.  Unless the guy can die from inhaling cat feces and urine, my money is probably on the man winning...pending answers to my previous questions of course.


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## vortrit (Sep 21, 2010)

Little Wing said:


> my vote that AKIRA is a living abortion was the 7th only a few minutes ago. seems i'm not alone in my opinion of him.


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## canditeye (Dec 9, 2010)

dont like it


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