# Gym Idiot Sightings 2009



## Dazino (Mar 23, 2009)

Well, it's about time someone made a new thread for this year.

Since there seems to be an endless supply of idiots in my gym, i'll talk about the ones I saw today.

This one big bellied guy was over in the corner with a pair of those light colored dumbbells, and he was curling them so fast, I thought he was juggling them! I've seen him in the gym three times already, and he has some big ass arms. Lift something heavier already! 

My favorite.  Chicken flexer. This skinny kid (14-15) comes into the gym, walks in front of the mirrors, rolls up the sleeves on his Billa Bong T-shirt, and starts flexing. His arms are about as thick as my wrists. I nearly dropped a dumbbell on my foot trying not to laugh!


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## DiGiTaL (Mar 23, 2009)

> My favorite.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Its more funny when they lift their shirts to check their abs after 20 machine crunches.


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## Dazino (Mar 23, 2009)

DiGiTaL said:


> Its more funny when they lift their shirts to check their abs after 20 machine crunches.



Actually he did that in between his 5kg dumbbell bench press.


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## Perdido (Mar 23, 2009)

The more I learn from here and hanging around my fellow gym rats, the more I feel like the gym idiot. The cardio rooms are full, the circuit machines are full, the ab machines are full, the what-ever-they-do in the classes are always full, yet the weight rooms only have a few of us in there grunting and growning doing our squats, dead lifts, benches and various other forms of picking up a bar or dumbbell and putting it back down.

Yet I can't wait to get back in the old dingy dark room filled with iron and steel to be the gym idiot not following the herd of "toners".


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## HOOPIE (Mar 23, 2009)

We got an idiot in the gym that when he does squats he'll put 315 on the bar and barely go down to half way and back up.  He'll do this 10 times then walk around like he did something.  I never laughed so hard in my life.


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## DiGiTaL (Mar 23, 2009)

HOOPIE said:


> We got an idiot in the gym that when he does squats he'll put 315 on the bar and barely go down to half way and back up.  He'll do this 10 times then walk around like he did something.  I never laughed so hard in my life.



Actually, I know this guy who is a year younger then me and does about 10 pounds more on everything I do But he never does it properly. On a incline DB press, he moves his hands down a little bit and pushes back up..he doesn't go all the way. When he is doing bench press he goes half way and pushes back up and claims he is stronger then me.


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## sendit08 (Mar 23, 2009)

this would be a good thread for me to say this.
I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE WHERE JEANS TO THE GYM!!!
I dont even know why I hate it, I just really fucking hate it.
I think it is because most of the people who wear jeans or cargo pants to the gym, do so because they have a big upper body and want to hide their skinny ass chicken legs. Which is my other pet peeve, big upper bodies with tiny legs... train your wheels people,,, PLEASE!!!!


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## highpockets (Mar 24, 2009)

I've got a good one. My last leg day I arrived to the gym and was warming up. I was going to squat when a couple of high school kids jumped in the only squat rack just before I was ready to use it. They moved the protection side bars up as high as they would go, put the bar on the bars and proceeded to do chin ups! For 20 minutes, back and forth they were doing chin ups!!!!! I could only look and shake my head in wonder.


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## ability (Mar 24, 2009)

The biggest idiots it's probably the ones complaining about other people. People who think they are better than others.

Strength training is probably the sport filled with most confident, ignorant and wiseacred people. 

A little bit of soul-searching wouldn't hurt in these days.


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## min0 lee (Mar 24, 2009)

ability said:


> The biggest idiots it's probably the ones complaining about other people. People who think they are better than others.
> 
> Strength training is probably the sport filled with most confident, ignorant and wiseacred people.
> 
> A little bit of soul-searching wouldn't hurt in these days.



You must be that 90 pound weakling they make fun of....sorry.


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## min0 lee (Mar 24, 2009)

highpockets said:


> I've got a good one. My last leg day I arrived to the gym and was warming up. I was going to squat when a couple of high school kids jumped in the only squat rack just before I was ready to use it. They moved the protection side bars up as high as they would go, put the bar on the bars and proceeded to do chin ups! For 20 minutes, back and forth they were doing chin ups!!!!! I could only look and shake my head in wonder.



I bet there was a chin up bar a few feet away.


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## largepkg (Mar 24, 2009)

ability said:


> The biggest idiots it's probably the ones complaining about other people. People who think they are better than others.
> 
> Strength training is probably the sport filled with most confident, ignorant and wiseacred people.
> 
> A little bit of soul-searching wouldn't hurt in these days.



A douche bag is a douche bag. If you can't recognize that then guess what, you're one of them.


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## highpockets (Mar 24, 2009)

min0 lee said:


> I bet there was a chin up bar a few feet away.



There are actually 3 other places to do chin-ups at the gym. One on the wall, one on the cable cross over support and one on the hammer strength dip station.


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## highpockets (Mar 24, 2009)

ability said:


> The biggest idiots it's probably the ones complaining about other people. People who think they are better than others.
> 
> Strength training is probably the sport filled with most confident, ignorant and wiseacred people.
> 
> A little bit of soul-searching wouldn't hurt in these days.



Confident? YES! Ignorant? NO. The ignorant ones are the people who come into the gym thinking they are going to morph over night into something that has taken most people years to achieve. They are either too stupid or too proud to ask if their technique/method is correct! I believe you will find that there are a great number of strength athletes (Especially here in this forum) that are more than willing to help those out who ASK! Since you seem to be outspoken (1 POST) I take it that most of your time is done reading all of the advice given here at Ironmagazine?

(Wow, I usually don't vent like that! Must be the 1-Andro Rx kickin' in. I like it!!!)


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## min0 lee (Mar 24, 2009)

highpockets said:


> There are actually 3 other places to do chin-ups at the gym. One on the wall, one on the cable cross over support and one on the hammer strength dip station.



I don't but wouldn't it help if the gym owners/ trainers policed kids?
Place a set off rules or an explanation on gym etiquette over the machines and racks.


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## highpockets (Mar 24, 2009)

min0 lee said:


> I don't but wouldn't it help if the gym owners/ trainers policed kids?
> Place a set off rules or an explanation on gym etiquette over the machines and racks.



That is one of the problems at our gym. When new members arrive, they get a walk through, and if they request it, a trainer will walk them through their first workout. This usually only occurs for those that need or want help with the variety of machines in the gym. I have never seen a trainer walk anyone through the free weights to date or explain to anyone that the squat rack is for squatting. We have members use the squat rack for everything from bicep curls to standing military's. 

With some of the lifting technique I have witnessed, I'm actually surprised there has not been any serious injuries. I'm lucky that most of the younger fellows that lift about the time I hit the gym, are always cooperative, encouraging and open minded. We watch out for each other with spots and check to make sure correct form is being adhered to.

All in all, our gym is a great place to workout.


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## OfficerFarva (Mar 24, 2009)

So this story is from last year but I'd love to share it.  Some guy that i've seen in my classes I nick named Douche Bag because of the questions he asks was attempting what he thought to be a workout.  He went to the cable crossover machine which has other machines attached to it.  He takes a straight bar and attaches it than maxes out the weight.  He proceeds to walk in the opposite direction as far as the wire would allow him which resulted in the weight being at the very top.  I think he was trying to do some kind of over head triceps extension but he couldnt handle the weight and it slipped out from his hands.  The bar went flying straight at another guys head who was doing lat pulldowns.  It didnt hit him because as the weight went down it shortened the wire but it was probably no less than a foot away from buddies face.  He went white with shock.  Douche Bag went all red and what not than left the gym.  I havent seen him since.  If that bar did hit the guy it would have fucked him up with so much momentum.


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## Burner02 (Mar 24, 2009)

Here's a twist...how about something that YOU'VE done in the gym.
I'll go first. 
This happened a long time ago. I switched from one gym to another. No biggie. I was doing lat pull downs. (correct form, btw)
For some reason / habit, after my sets I'd always push myself back from the machine to the edge of the pad.
Forward to the new gym.
As normal, I finished my set and pushed myself back from the machine...and right off the seat, landing on my back. (evidently, the seat on the bench was about a foot shorter than the one i was previously used to.) 
Whatcha gonna do? I just layed back and laughed, picked myself and what ever dignity I had left and kept on going


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## min0 lee (Mar 24, 2009)

That was funny.
Anyone else laugh?


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## min0 lee (Mar 24, 2009)

One of the few times me and min0 went to the gym together I was doing leg presses while he was doing shoulders.
I notice him glaring at me and at this other guy.
Turns out the shorts he told me were too short were in fact too short, every time the the weights went down to my chest my shorts sort of move in a way exposing some of my private part.
Big argument that night with I did it on purpose and the I told you so.

I think he threw them away.


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## Burner02 (Mar 24, 2009)

min0 lee said:


> That was funny.
> Anyone else laugh?


hope so...or a lot of people need to work on their sense of humor...it was funny....


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## Burner02 (Mar 24, 2009)

min0 lee said:


> One of the few times me and min0 went to the gym together I was doing leg presses while he was doing shoulders.
> I notice him glaring at me and at this other guy.
> Turns out the shorts he told me were too short were in fact too short, every time the the weights went down to my chest my shorts sort of move in a way exposing some of my private part.
> Big argument that night with I did it on purpose and the I told you so.
> ...


shoot...he shoulda kept them around for the home co-ed cardio nights...


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## DiGiTaL (Mar 24, 2009)

Lol min0 Lee.

This one time I was doing the bench press, I put on a little too much weight thinking I can do it. I lift the bar, bring it down..and im stuck I couldnt push it up..so I lay it on my chest and im struggle to push it back up. There was this big guy just standing beside me on the cable machine looking at me. After I finally managed to put the weight back up, I wanted to go slap him in the face for not helping another human being lol. I could have died.


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## Burner02 (Mar 24, 2009)

DiGiTaL said:


> Lol min0 Lee.
> 
> This one time I was doing the bench press, I put on a little too much weight thinking I can do it. I lift the bar, bring it down..and im stuck I couldnt push it up..so I lay it on my chest and im struggle to push it back up. There was this big guy just standing beside me on the cable machine looking at me. After I finally managed to put the weight back up, I wanted to go slap him in the face for not helping another human being lol. I could have died.


think we've all been there before? (been stuck under the bar?)
I did it doing decline bench...ya know...you think you've got that one last rep in you...bring it down...and explode up....yet the explosion has the force of a pop corn fart? It gets about 1/2 way up...shudders...then comes back down to lay on your chest?
I had to lay there with that weight on myself chest 4 about 5 minutes till some guy finally  walked past.
me: um...hey bud...little <wheeze> help<kak>  here?


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## Ngordyn (Mar 24, 2009)

couple months ago i was in the gym , and was distracted with shit in my head and wasnt not paying attention, i was loading the bar for bench press and i was supposed to put 25 Lb plates for 185lbs for my last set but for soem reason i put 35's on which is exactly my max 205 , i didnt catch what i did and i lift off and go to start my et and it noticed it felt heavy i just figured i was weak it being my last set , nope bar touched my chest and i got it back up 2 inches and let it back down........i had to ask for help looking liek an idiot lol


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## rayray715 (Mar 24, 2009)

DiGiTaL said:


> Lol min0 Lee.
> 
> This one time I was doing the bench press, I put on a little too much weight thinking I can do it. I lift the bar, bring it down..and im stuck I couldnt push it up..so I lay it on my chest and im struggle to push it back up. There was this big guy just standing beside me on the cable machine looking at me. After I finally managed to put the weight back up, I wanted to go slap him in the face for not helping another human being lol. I could have died.



A while back I was doing incline presses and I was pushing for that last rep. The bar came up just short of the support and I couldn't push it up any further, so slowly the bar came down till it rested on my forehead, luckily someone saw me before I had a chance to yell. When I got up I had a diamond pattern line on my head. Besides needing to be rescued the mark on my head really added to the embarressment!


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## Burner02 (Mar 24, 2009)

rayray715 said:


> A while back I was doing incline presses and I was pushing for that last rep. The bar came up just short of the support and I couldn't push it up any further, so slowly the bar came down till it rested on my forehead, luckily someone saw me before I had a chance to yell. When I got up I had a diamond pattern line on my head. Besides needing to be rescued the mark on my head really added to the embarressment!


That's AWESOME!! You win, sir!


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## iceman816 (Mar 24, 2009)

lol since we're all confessing..
I must admit i have not dropped the bench bar on my chest....yet
But i did have a real embarasing moment a while ago...
i was on the 45degree machine leg press one day and ...yeh i was doing a great job..
I was just about to start my last set...when the most gorgious chick walked in ..so i did the normal matcho thing and put a heap more weight on sat on the machine tensed up and gave it shit...but the only thing that moved was my bowels and i let go a huge fart....
Have small did i feel


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## danzik17 (Mar 24, 2009)

Two things.

1.  Loaded up a weight belt with ~60lbs to do low rep pullups.  Begin pullups.  Promptly have weight belt slip off taking sweat pants with it.  Good thing I wasn't commando that day.

2.  For some reason by arms just gave out on a set of DB presses.  It wasn't even heavy and I wasn't even tired.  I had to roll out of the way FAST to keep from getting hit in the face by a falling DB.  Promptly picked them up again and banged out the last few reps with no problems.

*Edit*

Remembered a #3.  Loaded up what I thought was a leg press with 5 plates on each side which I know I can do.  Found out that it was not in fact a normal leg press, but an angled one that moved in a way I didn't expect.  Queue my legs being unable to stop the weight from crashing into the safety and then having to roll off of the seat from a very compressed position.


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## Burner02 (Mar 24, 2009)

See how more 'fun' this is to make fun of ourselves?
Let's see:
** Was finihsing up heavy cybex leg press. 850lbs I think. (not bragging, but relevant) I wasnt' thinking...maybe blood still not back in head yet. I unloaded ONE side of the weights...and the machine wasn't bolted tothe floor. I turned from putting the last weight from the 1st side in time to see the machine roll onto its side making a fiar amount of noise in the porcess

** 1st time I tried to squat 315lbs. Thought I was set. Nope. I wasn't 'ready'...spotter wasn't paying fast enough attention...and I leaned a bit forward. Too far. The weight slammed me forward..and down...(thank God for safety bars in the curling cage) If you ever want to know how much sound 315 lbs of steel sounds as it clangs off more steel...its resoundingly LOUD...EVERYBODY stops what they are doing to look at the idiot who made that noise...


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## Dazino (Mar 24, 2009)

Oh yeah, I had some of those fuck ups too. 

I did what Danzik did; was in the middle of a DB bench, and arms just when kaplooie for no reason. Drop the weights on my chest, and confused, lifted them up again with no problem, and did 4 more reps. 

My most embarrassing moment was when I tried to do those dumbbell sit-ups. You know, the one where you lay at a specific angle on the bench, hold a single dumbbell behind your head, and attempt to do sit-ups? I got the dumbbell all ready, felt strong, leaned back a bit, and fell straight backwards. Manged to land on my side, instead of on my back, feet straight up. I shot up off the floor, and I don't think anyone saw me. Needless to say, I haven't tried that exercise since.


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## FishOrCutBait (Mar 24, 2009)

Burner02 said:


> hope so...or a lot of people need to work on their sense of humor...it was funny....



i was being stupid before a set of squats and forgot to put on a plate, stood up, and only part of the bar came with me.

oops. only one person saw me, and he was doing hip adductions, so i feel like less of a doofus


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## jmorrison (Mar 24, 2009)

Not really a mess up, but pretty damned embarrassing.

I was doing heavy squats next to a girl that I had been flirting with for a couple weeks.  I was really pushing hard, and about the 3rd rep I ripped one so loud that a buddy of mine came in from the cardio room next door to ask if we had heard that.

Not very romantic.


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## Perdido (Mar 25, 2009)

ability said:


> Strength training is probably the sport filled with most confident, ignorant and wiseacred people.



Please don't hate us for being superior


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## T_man (Mar 25, 2009)

Mmm. Well.

The day I found out the reason why they're called skullcrushers.

When I first started at the gym I was a smith machine whore because everything was easier on it. A couple of months in, and I decided to start training triceps, and my friend Lewis and I picked skull crushers as our first exercise. He did them using an EZ curl bar and added about 7.5kg on each side (about 16-18lbs). He did his 10 reps and said it was my turn. Now at this point my triceps were really weak and I had tried the EZ curl skullcrushers before and could only load 5kg on each side and bust a nut to complete just 7-8 reps.
Me being the egomaniac I was, decided to do it on the smith machine so that way I could load more and do it without having to balance it. So I went up to the smith machine and whacked on 7.25 on each side.

Now at this point I was benching with 10kg each side (40kg total), and my mind being clouded with beating my friend at skullcrushers; I forgot that the bar weighed a good 10kg more than the EZ curl bar and that I was attempting to lift 10kg more than I could anyways.
So I set up everything, took a good while setting up the bench in the perfect position, adjusting my hands by cm like I knew what I was doing, took a deep breath; unhooked the bar and SLAM!!

STRAIGHT DOWN INTO MY FOREHEAD!!

I was lucky that atleast in my attempt to surpass my friend's ego, I provided some resistance for the falling weight.

To make it worse I couldn't move it either so I was there screaming in pain and desparation for someone to move it for me. All I remember after that apart from the sheer pain and embarassment is someone sarcastically remarking "wow, so that's why they call them skullcrushers" and wave of chuckles following. My session was over.

The weight room was quite full and some of the guys there at that moment still train now with me. They always bring it up when we talk about the good ol' days.

I ended up with a bruise line across my forehead for a week and a half and with a severely damaged ego for the rest of the year.


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## Burner02 (Mar 25, 2009)

rahaas said:


> Please don't hate us for being superior


We here at Global Gym are better than you, and we know it!


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## T_man (Mar 25, 2009)

Idiot sighting today:

Well today was leg day, and we have a small-ish weights room with 3 benches and one of the benches is used for the free bar bench press/squat rack. So I moved the bench out of the way to start doing some squats but some dick came and bench that bench RIGHT NEXT TO THE SQUAT RACK and started doing flyes.....

So I had to wait for him to finnish each set before doing my set of squats and he was supersetting them with some weird seated reverse flye with free weights, which I doubt did anything for him at the weight he was doing.

But anyways I'm at my second working set after 3 warmup sets and 1 set. I was doing around 150lbs, which is near my max for 8-10 reps, and as I picked up the bar, which you struggle to on the heavy weights, took a 2 steps backwards but that F***ing same baboon didnt place one of the dumbells back properly and it started rolling towards me so I had to lunge forward and smash the bar on the rack and Lord knows how I didnt die in that accident.

I asked him to move to another bench because they were all free (was just me him and some other guy using the chest press machine) but the cunt was too stubborn.

Tell you what though that rage helped me put in a superb workout, went 10lbs heavier on every exercise from last week


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## Burner02 (Mar 26, 2009)

naw...you shoulda said: your in a bad spot, you're about to get hurt. If he didn't move, let the bar smack him in the face for sheer stupidity...smile, say: told ya so and kept on going.


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## tiger325 (Mar 26, 2009)

hahaha iceman thats hilarious


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## bodom (Mar 26, 2009)

my favorite guy at the gym is the bald one that wears a power belt doing cardio while also wearing a t shirt that has a picture of a roll of toilet paper and says "thats how i roll"... hahaha


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## Dazino (Apr 15, 2009)

We've had a sudden rush of older women in my gym; I dunno what brought them all of a sudden, but they mostly stick to the cardio machines like glue, and I just mind my own business. 

However, there were two that stuck out like a sore thumb. This one woman who's been there every day I seem to be there I nicknamed Skeletor, because she's nothing but skin and bones. She goes on the treadmill for about an hour each time, and walks, not jogs, but WALKS the entire time. Her shoulders are slumped, and flaps of loose skin ripple all over her body when she walks. She always does the same workout, and only uses the treadmill. She also glares at everyone who walks by her. 

The other lady I noticed just confused me. She moved to the Johnson leg press, and proceeded to do  two reps, and stop. She then sat for 6 minutes (I counted), looking around, looking confused. She then did two more, and waited another five-six minutes. Also, she didn't grab the handles at the side, she instead pushed on her knee's to help her lift the weight stack. I flinched at every rep she did, wondering how much pressure she was putting on her poor knees. The thing that confused me was that she didn't look all that bad!


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## min0 lee (Apr 15, 2009)

Dazino said:


> The other lady I noticed just confused me. She moved to the Johnson leg press, and proceeded to do  two reps, and stop. She then sat for 6 minutes (I counted), looking around, looking confused. She then did two more, and waited another five-six minutes. Also, she didn't grab the handles at the side, she instead pushed on her knee's to help her lift the weight stack. I flinched at every rep she did, wondering how much pressure she was putting on her poor knees. The thing that confused me was that she didn't look all that bad!



That's a situation you help one out.


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## Dazino (Apr 15, 2009)

min0 lee said:


> That's a situation you help one out.



I didn't know how to say "Your fucking your knees, you know." In Portuguese.


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## Derricks (Apr 15, 2009)

I'm 19 and I graduated last year. I was a 4x All-State Wrestler. I used to be able to beat most of the track/cross country. I fell off the deep end at the end of my senior year, smoking, drinking, womenizing and all that good stuff. I got a membership at the gym about 4 months ago, and I decided to work on cardio before I even touch the weights. I get on the treadmill and I, a 4x All-State Wrestler, rated in the "Top 28" in my state as a senior, I couldn't even keep up with the old/fat ladies (_no offense_!). I've never felt so stupid. I couldn't run an average pace for more than 10 minutes.


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## Dazino (Apr 15, 2009)

Derricks said:


> I'm 19 and I graduated last year. I was a 4x All-State Wrestler. I used to be able to beat most of the track/cross country. I fell off the deep end at the end of my senior year, smoking, drinking, womenizing and all that good stuff. I got a membership at the gym about 4 months ago, and I decided to work on cardio before I even touch the weights. I get on the treadmill and I, a 4x All-State Wrestler, rated in the "Top 28" in my state as a senior, I couldn't even keep up with the old/fat ladies (_no offense_!). I've never felt so stupid. I couldn't run an average pace for more than 10 minutes.



Just keep working hard, bro. All it takes is dedication. Keep a good diet, keep exercising, and you'll get better. I used to be in a similar situation, with drinking, smoking, and pretty much fucking things up for myself. Now i'm healthier than ever! 

Might want to still lift some weights though. Cardio is good, but don't just stick to it.


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## StuckInBako (Apr 16, 2009)

Dude doing curls and cheating so bad on every rep from 1-8, drop the fucking weight and use some good form.

The old guys at the gym that walk naked around the locker room. I don't like to see old naked men or any for that matter so put a fucking towel on after you shower.  

The guys that sit on a machine and watch's t.v. while waiting five minutes between sets. Stay at home and watch espn if thats what you want to do.

And i'll have to add my friend to the list, he's on his first cycle and did put on some size. But i swear everytime i go to his house he is wearing some form of a tank top, from a wife beater to a basketball jersey and is always flexing. Fuck he bugs me now, i think i'll just get him vegetable oil next time...But i'd feel to bad charging him for it.


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## spangdangler (Apr 17, 2009)

jmorrison said:


> Not really a mess up, but pretty damned embarrassing.
> 
> I was doing heavy squats next to a girl that I had been flirting with for a couple weeks.  I was really pushing hard, and about the 3rd rep I ripped one so loud that a buddy of mine came in from the cardio room next door to ask if we had heard that.
> 
> Not very romantic.



Now that Chit is funny, I don't care who you are!


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## DesertFox (Apr 17, 2009)

iceman816 said:


> lol since we're all confessing..
> I must admit i have not dropped the bench bar on my chest....yet
> But i did have a real embarasing moment a while ago...
> i was on the 45degree machine leg press one day and ...yeh i was doing a great job..
> ...



Rofl. This one and jmorrison's story the cake for me. Farting ain't even like letting out a big burp or a huge booger shooting out from breathing hard on an exercise...farting is just embarrassing when you don't plan on doing it. I feel for ya man.


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## DanK (May 7, 2009)

Scott Adams (Creator of the Dilbert Comic strip) apparently has joined the club of people who have personally witnessed the old guy blow drying his nuts routine in the locker room...

Scott Adams blog entry


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