# Pergolide, Mirapex, Amphetamine, Selegeline, and other assorted halloween candies



## Monolith (Nov 13, 2004)

I'm gonna run this log here at IM and also at Lyle's board.  I like the input from people here and there... unfortunately everyone posts at different boards. 

I'm still "bulking," although diet has been less than stellar.  Weights are going up still, but im up to 240lbs as of this morning.   I look a lot better than the last time i saw this weight, but im still fat.  Just been too busy to really put a concerted effort into eating cleanly.  Anyway, here's the log:

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This is mostly going to be a log of my generally uneducated experimentation upon myself with drugs im familiar with only from the unchecked and often dangerously ignorant depths of the internet. Oh yeah, a few books, too.

For an overview of myself:
I'm psychiatrically impaired. When unmedicated, ive got some wickedly severe depression/suicidal ideation, severe ADD, mild OCD, and a host of related psychodevelopmental problems as a result (which i wont delve into, since we only just got rid of a Kevin, and probably dont need another). Thus far it seems most of my problems are related to dopamine (duh). Wellbutrin, adderall, and mirapex (a potent non-ergot D3 agonist with moderate D2/D4 activity) have all had profound impacts on my situation. It's interesting to note that i have a lot of "thrill seeking" behavior - which has often been attributed to an attempt at "self medication." i.e. low basal levels of DA promote a compulsion to increase levels through excitement. I find this to be very true, as i speed far too often, and lost my license for a month because i had accumulated too many speeding tickets (that was after getting out of a shit-ton of them in court/through favors, too). I also skydive, scuba dive relatively recklessly, and generally try to stimulate myself. It's interesting that in all of these situations, i find myself at my calmest and most serene. i.e. the first time i jumped out of a plane. I was kneeling at the doorway, nervous as shit, but as soon as i left the plane - it was the most serene, incredibly relaxed, most meditative experience of my life. I had never felt so utterly peaceful. Paradoxical, no? Anyway, of the three, the mirapex has been the most impressive. It's something i'd like to write about in more detail, but just dont have the time. There are a lot of people ive seen around these various forums (especially some of the lunatics at avant) who have symptoms that seem to parallel my own, and who i think could benefit greatly from mirapex. Psychiatrically, it's my wonder drug. Anyway, something else to add to my "list of things to do during winter break."

For what im currently taking:
60mg racemic amphetamine/adderall XR 1x AM
30mg racemic amphetamine/adderall (instant release) as needed, i.e. when the XR stops working
150mg venlafaxine/effexor 1x AM
300mg bupropion/wellbutrin 1x AM
500mcg pramipexole/mirapex 2x AM/PM (has a relatively short half life, dosed upon waking and 8 hours later, but not after 6pm... although timing really isnt as important as something like pergolide)

The current supplements arent much... fish oil, whey, calcium, vit c, multivit/min, b complex. Sesathin occassionally. I should be taking NAC, but measuring out the powder 2x a day was a pain in the ass, so i stopped. Im waiting on fucking 1fast to ship my order, in which i finally bought a capper.


Anyway, what prompted this journal was a decision to toy around with pergolide. Ive been trying to find some a non-ergot D1 agonist, but it just doesnt exist. Theres not even anything close to in-vivo human clinical trials around, yet... so that really leaves me with no choice. What really piqued my interest in the D1 receptor is its relative abundance in the prefrontal cortex relative to other areas of the brain, and the prefrontal cortex/dopamine theory of depression/add/ocd/etc. Im figuring that something like a selective D1/D2 agonist would have very few side effects in someone like myself, since DA activity in these regions would be very minimal to begin with. And as for body comp effects, there should be relatively drastic optimizations, since the system has been out of whack to begin with - this wouldnt simply be putting higher octane gas in the engine, as one might parallel pergolide use in an otherwise healthy individual. This should be the equivelent of trading in that busted up civic with the unpainted wing for a V10 viper. My hopes, at least.

So, that brings us to today. I threw back 125mcg of pergolide this morning. I was going to start at 250mcg, as i assumed my tolerance should be relatively high given the lack of side effects i had when titrating up with mirapex (and the fact that i was on mirapex to begin with), but i cant chance being unproductive today, so played it safe. Tdose+1:45 and i havent experienced a single side. I should note that the only drug i discontinued was the mirapex (although depending on how things go, i may reintroduce it). The only worry i have is the cardiac damage related with pergolide use. It seems like it only happens in people using high dose, long term pergolide... but i honestly havent looked into it very thoroughly. It's something that would have been prudent to do before i started the drug, but hey, who needs a heart anyway?

Off to the gym, now.


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## Monolith (Nov 13, 2004)

Training is still a take on Lyle's version of periodization.  It's supposed to be a 3 day split - chest/back/grip, quads/hams/calves, shoulders/bi/tri/abs.  However, lately its only been a 2 day split, with no direct shoulder/bi/tri/ab work.  This is mostly because i often find myself running out of time in the day to get to the gym, which constantly screws up my split.  The direct work on that day really isnt necessary, though, so im not worried.  Those muscles have been getting plenty of direct work on the other days.

So, we have todays w/o:  Chest/Back

*Flat BB press* - 3/0/x tempo, 4-5 min RI
235lbx2
235lbx2
235lbx2

*BB row* - 3/0/1 tempo, 2-3 min RI
205lbx6
205lbx6
205lbx6
205lbx5
205lbx5
205lbx4

*Flat BB press* - 3/0/2 tempo, 1-2 min RI
155lbx8
155lbx8
155lbx6
155lbx6

*WG pulldowns* - 3/0/2 tempo, 1-2 min RI
140lbx13
140lbx9

---

Decent.  Prolly gonna some stuff around (emphasis, rep range, and whatnot) in a few weeks.  I dont really like having flat BB press as my only chest movement.  Strength has progressed, though, for sure.


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## Twin Peak (Nov 13, 2004)

Damn, you are fucked up.  And I mean that in the nicest way possible. 

Seriously though, perg messed me up bad, and I saw no body comp effects.


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## Twin Peak (Nov 13, 2004)

Oh, and I don't have any of those issues, but right before jumping, and while freefalling was probably the most serene experience of my life as well.


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## Monolith (Nov 13, 2004)

Twin Peak said:
			
		

> Damn, you are fucked up.  And I mean that in the nicest way possible.
> 
> Seriously though, perg messed me up bad, and I saw no body comp effects.



haha.  Hey, someone has to do it.

Weird about the pergolide... how high a dose did you maintain and for how long?  Could ya describe "messed me up bad" any better?

And why the fuck doesnt ANYTHING work on you?  I wonder if a gunshot would.


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## Monolith (Nov 13, 2004)

Twin Peak said:
			
		

> Oh, and I don't have any of those issues, but right before jumping, and while freefalling was probably the most serene experience of my life as well.



Yeah, its a good thing i was hooked up to someone else that first time, or i would have forgotten to pull the chord.  Seriously, when the chute opened, i was like "wtf is going on?"  Then i realized we had dropped 10k feet and it was time to slow down.


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## aggies1ut (Nov 13, 2004)

Gonna stick with updating this journal with school and all? lol jk Good luck with this one.

Re: The only worry i have is the cardiac damage related with pergolide use. It seems like it only happens in people using high dose, long term pergolide... but i honestly havent looked into it very thoroughly. It's something that would have been prudent to do before i started the drug, but hey, who needs a heart anyway (Maybe I should ask my dad for ya.  He's a cardiologist).

When did you first sky dive? I want to do that.


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## Twin Peak (Nov 13, 2004)

125 knocked me on my ass.  Nauseous, sick, worn down, sleepy, major flu-like symptoms.  Nasty.

Then I worked all the way up to 1800 or so.  If nothing else, I can persevere.  And nothing.


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## Monolith (Nov 13, 2004)

Yeah, im turning into a bit of a MonStar... lol.  I don't see any reason i won't stick with this log, seeing as how ive basically described it as covering nearly everything in my life.  Time will tell, though. 

I did that skydive like 2.5 years ago in australia.  Did it right over the coast.  We were actually a good 500 feet off shore for the jump, and just glided in to the beach.  It's definitely worth doing.  IIRC, lessons werent too expensive... but going tandem is just as fun.

Steve, thats fuckin bizarre that you had all the sides and none of the benefits.  Did the sides lessen at all while you stabilized at 1800?  I forgot to post this earlier, but i popped 500mcg of mirapex around 4pm this afternoon, as it seemed as if the pergs initial effects (regarding mood, etc) were wearing off.  I was expecting at least some mild nausea, consider i now had two D2 agonists in my system... but there was nothing.  Felt fine.

I'm gonna head on up to 250mcg tomorrow, if that still doesnt hit me, im goin straight for 500.  I'm still thinkin i should be able to titrate up pretty damn quickly.  The only thing that might slow me down is coinciding dose increases with days my schedule is relatively light... so if the DA hits the fan, i wont be totally screwed.


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## Twin Peak (Nov 13, 2004)

I titrated very slowly (125 every few days).  Sides stabilized, but were always prevelant.  Coming off was one of the best feelings of my life.


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## Jeanie (Nov 13, 2004)

Wow, thanks for sharing all of that.  I too have suffered from severe depression but the thrill seeking is something I try to stay away from b/c I used to have panic attacks.  What exaxtly is Peroglide?


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## Monolith (Nov 13, 2004)

Twin Peak said:
			
		

> I titrated very slowly (125 every few days).  Sides stabilized, but were always prevelant.  Coming off was one of the best feelings of my life.



Strange.  You ever try bromo?


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## Monolith (Nov 13, 2004)

Jeanie said:
			
		

> Wow, thanks for sharing all of that.  I too have suffered from severe depression but the thrill seeking is something I try to stay away from b/c I used to have panic attacks.  What exaxtly is Peroglide?



http://www.avantlabs.com/magmain.php?issueID=18&pageID=218

Check the other issues of M&M for the rest of the series.


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## Jeanie (Nov 13, 2004)

Monolith said:
			
		

> http://www.avantlabs.com/magmain.php?issueID=18&pageID=218
> 
> Check the other issues of M&M for the rest of the series.



Sounds interesting but I will check in and see how you are doing.  I could really use something to stop my binging.  I don't know why i do it but I have for over 20 years and I really would like to stop.


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## carbchick (Nov 13, 2004)

all power to you for trying to find the answers yourself albeit thru drugs not karma. when was the  last time you experienced drug-free 'reality' in all its horror and brutality? can you remember feeling depressed in as a child?


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## P-funk (Nov 14, 2004)

Hey Mon.  Cool joural.  Any specifc physique goals in mind?  Or just bulking up as much as possible?  Why did you decide to do your rep ranges to a cadance?


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## Monolith (Nov 14, 2004)

Jeanie said:
			
		

> Sounds interesting but I will check in and see how you are doing.  I could really use something to stop my binging.  I don't know why i do it but I have for over 20 years and I really would like to stop.



There's no way i could ever recommend pergolide to anyone, especially not in a situation like this.  It's an extremely potent drug whose only FDA approved use is for parkinsons (and commonly prescribed off label for restless leg syndrome and hyperprolactinemia).  The side effects for most people are extremely severe, including nausea, headaches, and narcolepsy.  There's also no guarantee it's going to work with regards to nutrient partitioning, as TP mentioned.

Have you tried other types of appetite suppressants for your binging?  What about therapy?


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## Monolith (Nov 14, 2004)

carbchick said:
			
		

> all power to you for trying to find the answers yourself albeit thru drugs not karma. when was the  last time you experienced drug-free 'reality' in all its horror and brutality? can you remember feeling depressed in as a child?



Yeah, i wasnt on anything until about 6 months ago.  I was really close to the edge (ill spare you the drama), and decided id give drugs another shot.  I had used them minimally years ago in highschool, but i really had no interest in using them and it was only at the prodding of my parents/school counselor that i even went to a shrink.  Even then i wasnt consistent with the meds... way too much teenage rebellion/i hate the world/i know better than  you/ attitude.  I think my biggest aversion to psych drugs was i didnt feel it would be the "real" me when i was on them.  In a sense, i've found that to be true... but it's either that or 6 feet under, so i'm gonna play out the drugs for a while at least and see how it goes. 

I dont mind talking about my immediate psychological problems, but the psychosocial/psychodevelopmental stuff isnt something im too comfortable with (even though i realize its all related).  But yeah, i can remember a lot of this stuff relating to me as a kid (pre puberty).  Even as far back as preschool... which is bizarre, since my memory in general is awful.  I barely remember anything before i was 10-12... and the stuff i do remember only seems to stick out in my mind as being fairly traumatic.  lol.  Such is life.


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## Jeanie (Nov 14, 2004)

Monolith said:
			
		

> There's no way i could ever recommend pergolide to anyone, especially not in a situation like this. It's an extremely potent drug whose only FDA approved use is for parkinsons (and commonly prescribed off label for restless leg syndrome and hyperprolactinemia). The side effects for most people are extremely severe, including nausea, headaches, and narcolepsy. There's also no guarantee it's going to work with regards to nutrient partitioning, as TP mentioned.
> 
> Have you tried other types of appetite suppressants for your binging? What about therapy?


I suppose I should try some type of therapy.  I just feel it is something deeper that I can't even get into. Wonder what kind of appetite suppressant would be good?  Last time I tried one of those it was Dexatrim and I was 14


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## Monolith (Nov 14, 2004)

P-funk said:
			
		

> Hey Mon.  Cool joural.  Any specifc physique goals in mind?  Or just bulking up as much as possible?  Why did you decide to do your rep ranges to a cadance?



Yeah... i wanna get HYOOGE and RIPPED. 

But honestly, the whole idea of this past bulk was that it was going to be clean and short.  I wanted to get back to cutting, since i felt i was still pretty fat (and i was).  I'm probably back up around 18% BF at this point.  Thats just a guess, though, since ive learned to hate that little 3-point electronic accucheck thing.  Pants are a tad tighter, but i really dont look that much larger... probably because im so tall.  Shit, back when i was 300lbs, i didnt even look that fat. 

Anyway, my schedule has been completely screwy lately, so my diet has been junk.  Junk leads to junk, of course... so my self-control is lacking as well.  I went out last night to a performance of "Beethoven's 3's" by the local symphony orchestra, and during the intermission, passed over the turkey sandwiches for a cookie.  Not to mention what my meal looked like before the show (16oz of filet mignon, flambe'd to perfection amid peppercorn and cognac). 

Over the past week i gained 2lbs, which is actually amazingly good considering how much crap ive been eating... probably around the 5-6kcal/day mark.  Of the 20lbs i gained, id say 8-10 is water, too... since a lot of that weight came in the first week when i stopped starving myself and ate brown rice like it was my job.

Goals for now are really nonexistent.  As i see it now, i'm gonna just wing it untill winter break, and then probably begin cutting again.

As for the rep ranges... what do you mean exactly?  You talking about the tempo?  Or the actual variation in rep ranges?


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## Monolith (Nov 14, 2004)

Jeanie said:
			
		

> I suppose I should try some type of therapy.  I just feel it is something deeper that I can't even get into. Wonder what kind of appetite suppressant would be good?  Last time I tried one of those it was Dexatrim and I was 14



Well, i mean, i probably shouldnt talk... since the last time i was in therapy was when i was 15/16.  But from (the very little) ive read about eating disorders, binging it something thats most effectively treated with some form of direct therapy.

I don't want to come off as offensive and be like "PERGOLIDE IS WAY TOO HARDCORE FOR YOU," i just that think it'd be overkill for you, and probably out of the realm of what effects youre looking for.  Especially considering how friggin awesome you look in those pics. 

But as an appetite suppressent... i think you were the one who started that thread asking about them in the supplement forum, right?  All the ones people suggested in there would certainly help.  I think nicotine gum would be especially helpful for you during those sudden cravings.  I've never used it, but TP said Anorect-In worked great, too... and id definitely trust his recommendations.


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## Monolith (Nov 14, 2004)

Journal update:

Bumped to 250mcg of pergolide this morning.  T+1:00 i'm getting a bit of nausea, very similar to what i experienced when titrating up on the mirapex.  Could it be that nausea is a side effect of D2 activity only...?  This could make things very, very interesting if an orally active D1-specific agonist becomes available....


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## P-funk (Nov 14, 2004)

Monolith said:
			
		

> As for the rep ranges... what do you mean exactly?  You talking about the tempo?  Or the actual variation in rep ranges?




yeah, the tempo cadance.


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## carbchick (Nov 14, 2004)

Monolith said:
			
		

> I dont mind talking about my immediate psychological problems, but the psychosocial/psychodevelopmental stuff isnt something im too comfortable with (even though i realize its all related).



sorry mono didn't mean to pry. I've been thinking about this for myself recently, I guess that's why I thought to ask. 

do you have any specific diet plans or just to eat clean as poss? you seemed pretty disciplined in the past.


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## Monolith (Nov 14, 2004)

carbchick said:
			
		

> sorry mono didn't mean to pry. I've been thinking about this for myself recently, I guess that's why I thought to ask.
> 
> do you have any specific diet plans or just to eat clean as poss? you seemed pretty disciplined in the past.



Dont take it the wrong way... i dont mind the questions at all, i just might not answer some. 

P, the tempo is part of the periodization program Lyle wrote up in the Avant mag a few months back.  It varies depending on the type of emphasis youre putting on a muscle, be it hypertrophy, strength, or a combination.


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## P-funk (Nov 14, 2004)

> P, the tempo is part of the periodization program Lyle wrote up in the Avant mag a few months back. It varies depending on the type of emphasis youre putting on a muscle, be it hypertrophy, strength, or a combination.



gotcha.


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## Monolith (Nov 15, 2004)

Well, third day and im still alive.  I'm gonna stick to 250mcg for one more day, since i did have a touch of nausea yesterday from dosage increase, and i dont need a lot of distraction today.

That said, im sort of freaking myself out.  I mean, before i even started any direct DA agonists, i was already using a dopamine reuptake inhibitor, and an indirect DA agonist (amphetamine).  When i first titrated up to 500mcg 2x day with the mirapex, it was almost completely side-effect free, with the exception of a bit of nausea.  The thing is, i didnt stop any of the other DA stimulating drugs.  WTF?  I should have been fuckin out of my mind, but i felt great.  Even some intranasal shots of nicotine ON TOP OF all that didnt increase my sides one bit.

Then i go ahead and start the pergolide.  I figure it's best to drop the mirapex first (duh), but i continue taking everything else.  Yet on my first day, what do i do?  I drop 125mcg of pergolide, and about 6 hours later feel like its mood-enhancing effects are wearing off, so i drop 500mcg of mirapex.  LOLZWTF?  So not only do i have all this initial DA stimulation from the wellbutrin and amphetamine, but ive also got TWO DA agonists floating around upstairs.  Yet how do i feel?  "Eh, same 'ol, same 'ol."

This is very, very weird.  I've only been on the mirapex for a couple weeks - there's no way the additional DA stimulation it caused has already inhibited endogenous DA release very much (although, apparently, there doesnt seem to be much of any to begin with).

All in all, its both fascinating and freakishly scary at the same time.


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## Monolith (Nov 15, 2004)

Very, very small amount of nausea this morning.  I felt somewhat stimmed out for the first half of the day, until around 1:30.  Very similar to that first "amphetamine high."  Extremely good mood, very outgoing, complete lack of anxiety, and very motivated.  Concentration was pretty good.  I ate my first meal around 8am, and didnt eat again until 2pm... and i was just _barely_ starting to feel hungry.  I didnt go that long on purpose, i just forgot to take a shake with me this morning.

The quality of my sleep last night left something to be desired.  It felt as though i wasnt hitting REM sleep, or even Stage 3, as i woke up rather frequently and i didnt feel groggy.  Likely due to all the prefrontal DA activity.  I may try dropping the adderall with tomorrows bump to 375mcg and see how it goes.

Today is leg day, off to the gym.


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## Monolith (Nov 15, 2004)

Training for 11/15:  Quads/Hams

*ATG Squats* - 4-5 min RI, 3/0/x tempo
255lbx3
255lbx2
255lbx1
225lbx3
225lbx3
225lbx3
*BLARG.  I had been doing squats to parallel.  First time ive done them ATG in a while, and _hooooo-boy_ am i a weak motherfucker.  Of course, being 6'5" means i have to move the bar about a quarter mile for a full squat, but still... i feel like such a pussy.

*SLDL* - 2-3 min RI, 3/0/1 tempo
245lbx7
245lbx6

*Leg Press* - 1-2 min RI, 3/0/2 tempo
490lbx12
490lbx9

--------

Overall, today sucked.  Ive been on this leg mesocycle for way too long.  It may just be the added glute/ham activation from doing the squats ATG, but my lifts have gotten mildly weaker over the past week.  I hate the prospect of it, but i may have to finally move to more high rep stuff... *shudder*

Didnt do calves because theyre big already and calf raises are about as fun as watching paint dry.


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## Twin Peak (Nov 15, 2004)

Personally, I like watching paint dry.


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## Monolith (Nov 15, 2004)

Twin Peak said:
			
		

> Personally, I like watching paint dry.



That's probably the port talking.


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## PreMier (Nov 15, 2004)

Monolith said:
			
		

> Of course, being 6'5" means i have to move the bar about a quarter mile for a full squat, but still... i feel like such a pussy.



Does it help, if I tell you that I agree?


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## Monolith (Nov 16, 2004)

Went up to 375mcg today.  Dropped the adderall XR, just out of curiousity.  I better not fall asleep in class.


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## Monolith (Nov 16, 2004)

No nausea with the increase today.  Felt pretty good.  Gonna do 500mcg tomorrow.


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## Monolith (Nov 17, 2004)

Bumped to 500mcg this morning.  Zero sides, except for a sudden wave of moderately intense nausea around 11:30am, about 4 hours post ingestion.  I forced myself to eat some food, and it cleared up rather quickly.  I think the nausea is a result of the brain confusing the signals its getting from the stomach.  Perhaps a lot of DA + an abnormal amount of some other hunger modulator really screws up the brains interpretation of hunger.


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## PreMier (Nov 17, 2004)

You lifting?


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## Vieope (Nov 17, 2004)

_Haha.. I knew it was Mono´s journal.  _


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## Monolith (Nov 17, 2004)

PreMier said:
			
		

> You lifting?


 yup


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## aggies1ut (Nov 17, 2004)

Monolith said:
			
		

> yup


   so concise


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## Monolith (Nov 17, 2004)

Training for 11/17:  Chest/Back

*Flat BB press*
 240lbx1
 245lbx1
 245lbx1

*BB row* - 
 215lbx6
 215lbx6
 215lbx5
 215lbx5
 215lbx4
 215lbx4

*Incline DB* - 
 60lbx11
 60lbx8

*WG cable pulldowns* - 
 150lbx11
 150lbx8

*Cable machine fly* - 
 30lbx20

 ------

 Ive been tired and short on time lately, and its starting to show.  Progress is slowing.  I havent done any direct arm work in a month or so.  This weekend im gonna set up a new mesocycle.

 Ive got a ticket appeal to go to tomorrow.  Then ive got another one on monday.  lol.  I may be able to get out of em, though... i suppose working for lawyers does have some benefits.


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## PreMier (Nov 17, 2004)

I have a ticket appeal coming up... could you give me some advice?


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## Monolith (Nov 17, 2004)

PreMier said:
			
		

> I have a ticket appeal coming up... could you give me some advice?


 whats the context?


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## Monolith (Nov 18, 2004)

Bumped to 750mcg perg this morning.  Dropped the wellbutrin because of the rather large jump (500-750), if all goes well ill add it back in in a few days.

 Took the perg ~2 hours ago.  No sides so far, except im a bit more depressed than normal (normal being defined as my mood for the past 3 or 4 weeks).

 My ticket appeal went rather poorly.  The magistrate offered to reduce the fine to $100 (from $250), but that wouldnt really cut it considering id lose my license regardless of the fine.  Anyway, talking to her afterwards while i was paying the appeal fee, she mentioned that she couldnt have given me a break anyway, because the statie would have appealed her decision anyway.

 Apparently a friend knows the judge im appealing to, though, so theres another shot.


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## PreMier (Nov 18, 2004)

Monolith said:
			
		

> whats the context?



I need to know how to plead.. Here is what happened:

I got pulled over, and I had an expired drivers lisence.  So I got a ticket for it, and a warning for speeding.  I paid it, no biggie.

Then 9 days later, I was pulled over for expired registration(2 days over) and the cop gave me a ticket for that AND an expired lisence.  I dont feel I need to pay 2 expired lisence tickets, seeing as it wasnt even 2 weeks, and I had to take time out of my day to go to the DMV and re-take the test to get it renewed.  I also dont want to pay the registration, because I thought there was a grace period.

I need to know if I should plea not guilty, or no contest(and just tell my side of the case?)  Not sure how it all works.


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## Monolith (Nov 18, 2004)

PreMier said:
			
		

> I need to know how to plead.. Here is what happened:
> 
> I got pulled over, and I had an expired drivers lisence. So I got a ticket for it, and a warning for speeding. I paid it, no biggie.
> 
> ...


 Well, i think youre going to go before a clerk magistrate, not a judge.  Anyway, you really dont "plead" a case to anyone.  The normal routine is there will be a cop there (not the guy who pulled you over, just the guy that sits in court all day representing the fuzz) who reads the report the officer who pulled you over wrote.  Then you get to tell your side of the story.  Then the magistrate makes a ruling.

 I'm not sure what the laws are in your state, but there are sometimes loopholes such as if you get two tickets for the same offence within a given time period, theyll be combined into one ticket.  Normally its only like 72 hours, though.

 But for what you should say to the magistrate... whatever you do, dont say "i dont feel like i should have to pay this because i just got fined for it a few days ago."  All the court cares about is determining whether or not you have a legitimate, legal defense of your action.  Saying something like "its not fair" will probably just piss off the court, and you wont even get a reduction.

 Did you ever go down to the DMV after getting that first ticket?


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## Monolith (Nov 18, 2004)

Monolith said:
			
		

> Bumped to 750mcg perg this morning. Dropped the wellbutrin because of the rather large jump (500-750), if all goes well ill add it back in in a few days.
> 
> Took the perg ~2 hours ago. No sides so far, except im a bit more depressed than normal (normal being defined as my mood for the past 3 or 4 weeks).
> 
> ...


 
 Nausea hit right after i made that post... lol.  Nothing really terrible; in fact it was more a feeling of being "run down" than anything else.  Similar to that feeling you have when youve got a cold.  It cleared up by 1pm or so.

 Im tempted to jump to 1mg tomorrow, but i think ill just do 875mcg + the wellbutrin, since ive got a pretty busy schedule tomorrow morning.


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## PreMier (Nov 18, 2004)

Monolith said:
			
		

> Well, i think youre going to go before a clerk magistrate, not a judge.  Anyway, you really dont "plead" a case to anyone.  The normal routine is there will be a cop there (not the guy who pulled you over, just the guy that sits in court all day representing the fuzz) who reads the report the officer who pulled you over wrote.  Then you get to tell your side of the story.  Then the magistrate makes a ruling.
> 
> I'm not sure what the laws are in your state, but there are sometimes loopholes such as if you get two tickets for the same offence within a given time period, theyll be combined into one ticket.  Normally its only like 72 hours, though.
> 
> ...



Yea, I got it taken care of 1 or 2 days after the second one.. I even got a discount on the first ticket.


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## Monolith (Nov 19, 2004)

Bumped to 875mcg this morning.  Added the wellbutrin back in, too.  I barely noticed a thing... very limited nausea.  I'm toying with the idea of jumping right up to 1.25mg tomorrow, since i really dont want to spend a month titrating up to 4-5mg.

 Diet has been its usual shitty self.  Damn, im a fat mofo... but chocolate chip cookies are _soooo_ tasty. 



 I tried setting up a new split today.  Here's what im thinking it'll look like:

*Day 1* - Chest/Back
_Flat BB press_ - 3 sets, 8-10 reps, 1-2m RI, 3/0/2 tempo
_Incline DB press_ - 3 sets, 6-8 reps, 1-2m RI, 3/0/2 tempo

_BB row_ - 3 sets, 4-6 reps, 2-3m RI, 3/0/1 tempo
_DB pullover_ - 1 set, timed, 1m RI, 2/0/2 tempo


*Day 2* - Legs
_Squats_ - 4 sets, 4-6 reps, 2-3m RI, 3/0/1 tempo

_SLDL_ - 4 sets, 4-6 reps, 2-3m RI, 3/0/1 tempo


*Day 3* - Calves/Abs/Grip
_Standing calf raise_ - 2 sets, 6-8 reps, 1-2m RI, 3/0/2 tempo
_Seated calf raise_ - 2 sets, 10-12 reps, 1-2m RI, 3/0/2 tempo
_Standing calf raise_ - 1 set, timed, 1m RI, 2/0/2 tempo

_Cable crunch_ - 3 sets, 6-8 reps, 1-2m RI, 3/0/2 tempo
_Decline situps_ - 3 sets, 10-12 reps, 1-2m RI, 3/0/2 tempo

_Rear BB curl_ - 2 sets, 6-8 reps, 1-2m RI, 3/0/2 tempo
_Forward BB curl_ - 2 sets, 6-8 reps, 1-2m RI, 3/0/2 tempo


*Day 4* - Chest/Back
_Flat BB press_ - 3 sets, 1-3 reps, 4-5m RI, 3/0/x tempo
_Cable fly_ - 1 set, timed, 1m RI, 2/0/2 tempo

_Cable rows_ - 3 sets, 6-8 reps, 1-2m RI, 3/0/2 tempo
_WG pulldowns_ - 3 sets, 8-10 reps, 1-2m RI, 3/0/2 tempo


*Day 5* - Legs
_Leg Press_ - 3 sets, 8-10 reps, 1-2m RI, 3/0/2 tempo
_Leg extenstion_ - 2 sets, timed, 1m RI, 2/0/2 tempo

_Lying leg curl_ - 2 sets, 8-10 reps, 1-2m RI, 3/0/2 tempo
_Seated leg curl_ - 2 sets, timed, 1m RI, 2/0/2 tempo


*Day 6* - Shoulders/Arms/Traps
_Standing BB mil press_ - 2 sets, 6-8 reps, 1-2m RI, 3/0/2 tempo
_Reverse pec dec_ - 2 sets, 6-8 reps, 1-2m RI, 3/0/2 tempo

_Cam bar preacher curl_ - 2 sets, 10-12 reps, 1-2m RI, 3/0/2 tempo

_Cable pushdowns_ - 2 sets, 10-12 reps, 1-2m RI, 3/0/2 tempo

_DB shrugs_ - 3 sets, 10-12 reps, 1-2m RI, 3/0/2 tempo


*Day 7* - OFF

  -----------------------------

  So for the week, the direct sets per bp looks like this - 
  Chest: 10
  Back: 10
  Quads: 9
  Hams: 8
  Abs: 6
  Calves: 5
  Grip: 4
  Shoulders: 4
  Biceps: 2
  Triceps: 2

  Workouts shouldnt have me in the gym more than 45-60mins each. I'm currently bulking, not using any anabolics. Thoughts/comments/suggestions, please?


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## Twin Peak (Nov 19, 2004)

Your sig is really annoying.

5 mg?  You are insane.  Post some of those weights, dammit.


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## Monolith (Nov 19, 2004)

Pick out a new sig for me, then. 

 And what weights am i supposed to be posting?  About the only weight thats increasing by any degree of interest is my bodyweight.


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## Twin Peak (Nov 19, 2004)

Dunno.  I just see sets and reps, with no idea of how much weight you are using.


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## Monolith (Nov 20, 2004)

Oh... well, i suppose id have to give the routine a run through first to be very specific.  Weights would probably be pretty similar to the earlier stuff i posted, just modified a bit for the different rep ranges obviously.

 Update for the journal:  I dropped 30mg IR adderall and 500mcg pramipexole before i went out tonight.  Had a very mild headache that lasted about 5 minutes soon after i took it, but beyond that, i felt fine.


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## yellowmoomba (Nov 20, 2004)

Monolith said:
			
		

> Bumped to 875mcg this morning.  Added the wellbutrin back in, too.  I barely noticed a thing... very limited nausea.  I'm toying with the idea of jumping right up to 1.25mg tomorrow, since i really dont want to spend a month titrating up to 4-5mg.
> 
> Diet has been its usual shitty self.  Damn, im a fat mofo... but chocolate chip cookies are _soooo_ tasty.
> 
> ...




Looks like a lot of gym time and not enougth rest.   For me - a day of rest in between every workout has really helped my strength.   At least put a day off in betwen Back and Legs.   Lastly - I'd throw in deadlifting on back day.


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## Monolith (Nov 20, 2004)

Thanks for the suggestions, YM! 

 Youre right about adding in another rest day... thats the one thing i was concerned about too.  But i thought that due to how "easy" a couple of the days were (like day 3 where im only doing calves, abs, and forearms) i could get away with it.  Plus its so damn nice to have a routine that falls on the same day every week.

 As for the deadlifts... im not so sure about that.  Id actually really like to throw them in, but theyve always seemed to hit my legs harder than my back.  Probably because my legs are weak as shit.   Putting them on one of the back days would kinda suck, because then id be going in the next day to work legs.

 I might try to switch things around a bit, though.  I miss deads.


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## Monolith (Nov 20, 2004)

Update time...

 Last night before i went out i threw back 500mcg pramipexole and 30mg IR adderall.  Didnt notice the effects consciously, but there was a subtle yet rather pronounced elevation of mood and sociable behavior as i look back.  Only side was a slight headache soon after i ingested those happy little pills.  Im becoming more confident in concomitant use of pergolide and pramipexole, as each drugs affinity for the D2 receptor is separated by a factor of 10.  Pergolide has no activity at the D3 receptor, which is where pramipexole does all its work.

 Anyway, i woke up late this morning - around 11:30 - and decided to dose the pergolide anyway, since one day of an endocrine car wreck wasnt going to kill me (and chocolate chip cookies are _soooooo goooooooood_).  I also decide i should go for a 250mcg bump, since im impatient.  Well... long story short, by 1:30 i had written myself a little note:  stop being a fucking retard.

 Yeah, things didnt go well.  An hour or so after 1.125mg pergolide (along with my other cocktail of DA signaling goodies), i started to feel the nausea comin' on.  It was no big deal, as im fairly used to it at this point.  But then it went beyond the normal nausea by 10% or so.  Then 20%.  50%.  Then i puked into my sink, because i just didnt start the sprint to the bathroom soon enough to make it to the toilet.  Let me tell you, cleaning puke out of a sink is NOT FUN.  What pissed me off the most, though, is that my goddamn piece of shit body made me waste half the pergolide.  Thats my estimate, anyway... since peak absorption occurs about 2 hours post-ingestion, and i was only at an hour.

 Anyway, i felt fine immediately afterwards... which leads me to believe that large dose increases might best be taken on an empty stomach, since its just the feeling of a full stomach that can piss off your body.

 I also got thinking about what i could do to reduce the nausea associated with pergolide titration.  I know its related to Substance P/neurokinin 1, but thats about it.  I know capsaicin can reduce levels of Substance P... maybe i should start chugging hotsauce? 

 Theres also the possibility of using cancer anti-nausea drugs usually used after chemotherapy.  Assuming theyre not very finicky drugs, they might make pergolide use a whole lot more attractive to most people...


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## Monolith (Nov 21, 2004)

Bumped to 1mg this morning.  I almost skipped the rest of my cocktail, but gulped it down anyway.  Nausea hit about an hour after ingestion, same as yesterday.  It built up to its worst at t+~2:30, and then finally began to ease off.  It's t+5:00 right now, and ive been nausea free for about an hour now.  After that first peak, though, the nausea was much easier to handle.  Not nearly as distracting... probably because i realized i wasnt in danger of launching half-digested fish oil caps across the room.

 One thing worth mentioning is that i took this on a (relatively) empty stomach.  The only other thing i took with the pergolide was 4 fish caps and the rest of my cocktail.  I didnt eat for like 3 hours (nausea).

 I'm beginning to get a little pissed off.  Titrating at this rate is going to take quite a while to reach 4-5mg... and any faster makes me want to hurl.  I'm also beginning to think that the simple lack of desire for food might have a lot more to do with pergolides purported uber-lipolytic activity than anything else.  I really need to find a way to get my nausea to chill out.


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## Monolith (Nov 22, 2004)

Update time!

 Took 1mg perg this morning, and then thought id see what no carbing it would feel like.  Let me tell you:  no carbing pergolide blows the fattest, beefiest cock you could possibly imagine.  I felt like i was wandering between states of nausea, hallucination, and downright fucked-up-ness.  Of course, i probably chose a bad time to try it out... since i had to be in front of a judge at 9am for another ticket appeal.  Suffice to say my appeal was rejected.  Anyway, when i got home I ate some fruit and it went away right quick (within 5-10 minutes).

 Some interesting notes: I think ive gotten to the root of the whole nausea/cardiac fibrosis thing.  The problem is that it involves more tinkering with my drug cocktail.  Don't get me wrong, i enjoy the tinkering... but i may have to resort to mugging old ladies if i cant get some of this shit via Rx.

 Also, perg has some rather annoying anticholinergic effects.  Namely, _i'm shitting bricks_.  There's also a bit of dry mouth and mydriasis.  Probably not a concern for most people, though, as the antidepressents im on have some anticholinergic properties of their own.

 Training for today blew ass.  My triceps are weak little fuckers, they kept dying on me.  The slow goddamn tempo and short RI's didnt help.

 Chest/Back:
*Flat BB press* - 
 185lbx8
 155lbx7
 135lbx7

*BB row* - 
 185lbx6
 185lbx6
 185lbx6

*Incline DB press* - 
 70lbx8
 70lbx5
 60lbx4 (FUCK YOU, TRICEPS BRACHIIiiiiiiIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!111)

*Cable pullover* - 
 70lbx80secs


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## aggies1ut (Nov 22, 2004)

Monolith said:
			
		

> Update time!
> fattest, beefiest cock you could possibly imagine


   Nice description.


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## PreMier (Nov 22, 2004)




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## yellowmoomba (Nov 23, 2004)

> Training for today blew ass. My triceps are weak little fuckers, they kept dying on me. The slow goddamn tempo and short RI's didnt help.





Keep working at it    !!


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## Monolith (Nov 23, 2004)

Took another mg of perg this morning and attempted to no-carb it again, but for a different reason.  I wanted to see if ginger - that classic home remedy for nausea - had any effect on perg's overall feeling-of-well-beaten.  I hadnt even thought of it untill i saw some references to it in some literature i was reading... and suprise suprise, it did work (to an extent).  There was a noticable decrease in nausea, but not enough to wipe the pergo-grimace off my face.

 I havent had a chance to bump the dosage up lately, since vomiting onto a lawyer and/or professor probably wouldnt go over well.  Luckily turkey day is almost here, which gives me a perfect opportunity to see how lots of pergolide interacts with lots of tryptophan (and i have a nagging feeling that its going to = lots of vomit).

 I didnt make it into the gym today.  So much for that fancy-schmancy routine i put together up above.  Ah well.


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## PreMier (Nov 23, 2004)

I wish I had your enthusiasm when it came to medicating myself.


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## Monolith (Nov 24, 2004)

PreMier said:
			
		

> I wish I had your enthusiasm when it came to medicating myself.


 It's not hard... just visit your local street corner.


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## Monolith (Nov 24, 2004)

Took another mg today.  Nausea is basically a nonfactor at this point as long as i get a decent amount of carbs in me, but i didnt feel like tempting fate.  And since ive got the next 4 days off, theres plenty of time for me to make myself spew.

 No gym today... only excuse is that im dead tired.  Got about 90 minutes of sleep last night, so i doubt id be very effective in the squat rack anyway.  Gym is closed tomorrow.


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## Vieope (Nov 24, 2004)

_Let´s try something fun tonight. Overdose. _


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## Monolith (Nov 24, 2004)

Vieope said:
			
		

> _Let´s try something fun tonight. Overdose. _


 After an overdose on pergolide i'd be able to projectile vomit all the way to brazil.


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## PreMier (Nov 24, 2004)

The Exorcist scene just flashed through my head


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## Monolith (Nov 25, 2004)

1.125mg this morning, about an hour after i ate some carbs (pumpkin bread - with no cream cheese - kthx).  No nausea, etc etc.  Still had a couple waves of feeling "woozy," but nothing bad.

 I was planning on doing a full week of effexor @ 75mg, but i think i might go down to 37.5mg tomorrow and bump the perg to 1.375mg.

 Diet was probably similar to most people, today.  Im finally going to put all this overeating to use by headin in to the gym tomorrow.  Halle-fuckin-lujah.


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## Monolith (Nov 26, 2004)

Bumped to 1.375mg.  Dropped effexor to 37.5mg.  No nausea.  Felt a little out of it for a good part of the morning, but nothing too bad.  No gym, again.  God, im turning into such a fat, lazy bastard.  Fucking holidays.

 Anyway, im not sure what im dosing the perg at tomorrow.  Obviously it'll be a 125 or a 250mcg jump... just havent decided which, yet.  I need to be productive tomorrow, but still, that 250 is calling my name.  Eh....


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## P-funk (Nov 27, 2004)

is any of this stuff helping MONO? Or are you still just trying to get the dosages right?


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## Monolith (Nov 27, 2004)

P-funk said:
			
		

> is any of this stuff helping MONO? Or are you still just trying to get the dosages right?


 Still messing with the dose.

 And i suppose im not really even looking for it to "help" anything at this point, its more just curiosity.


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## Monolith (Nov 27, 2004)

Bumped to 1.5mg this morning.  Then i vomited.  *WTF*.  I bumped by 250mcg yesterday and had no problem.  Yet just 125mcg today makes me feel like complete shit and i end up clinging to the toilet bowl (at least i made it to the bowl this time, and didnt have to clean chunky puke out of the sink).

 The one similarity i can see between this time and the last time i puked was the timing of the dose.  Last time i took the perg late, around 11:30am.  Thats about the time i took it this morning.  Something to look into.


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## Monolith (Nov 29, 2004)

Sorry for the missed update yesterday. I was busy ignoring all of my responsibilities and playing ultima online (ugh) for most of the day.

  Took 1.375mcg yesterday, IIRC i felt physically fine, but mentally i had the urge to run around raping and pillaging. I also didnt take _any_ effexor today, and had some really bizarre mental sides. If i was up and walking around, or if i moved much at all, id get waves of dizziness and some other shit thats rather hard to describe. There's a bunch of shit on "effexor withdrawal" on google if anyones that interested. 

  Anyway, in an effort to control the nausea, as i mentioned, ive been decreasing the use of other DA stimulating drugs... however, the problem here is that because of the nasty fucking depression i fall into without these happy pills, i lose all motivation and generally just want to stay in my room and stare at the ceiling, as i mentally masturbate to images of death and destruction (merry xmas!!). So, that said, i decided to add just about everything back in today... since theres no way i was gonna make it through the end of the semester with a decent gpa with that kind of residual teen-angst. Stupid to add everything in at once, but hey - im a stupid guy.

  So this mornings brew looked like this:
  1.375mg pergolide
  500mcg pramipexole
  60mg adderall XR
  300mg wellbutrin
  37.5mg effexor 

  One hour later (prompt as always), i puked in the school parking lot. It was some pretty nasty looking puke, too... whey/casein mix, an apple, and some cider doughnuts. Blech. Got a pretty viscious sleep "attack" as well. I should note that these only seem to affect me when im not actively doing something. When this one hit i was just sitting in my car trying to dig out a toothbrush so i wouldnt walk around all day with vomit-breath. If i'm doing something like driving, writing, or really involved with any kind of stimuli... i can feel them coming on, but theyre easily ignored and dont feel very strong. Also of interest is that i only got around 4.5-5 hours of sleep last night... which as ive noticed a couple times before, the lack of sleep seems to drastically potentiate the force of the "sleep attacks." 

  I felt like shit for most of the morning, but its just clearing up now. I can tell i didnt vomit up all of the encapsulated goodness, because mood is still rather good. I feel tired (although im sure this is nothing more than not getting enough sleep last night), but generally im in a much better mood than i was over the weekend.


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## Monolith (Nov 30, 2004)

Oh, i went to the gym yesterday. Finally. Hit chest/back. Felt good, and interestingly, strength had actually maintained or increased slightly since last week... and all i did a week ago was 6 sets for chest and 4 for back. Normally my strength drops a bit if i take a week off... especially if my last w/o was pretty weak.

  Was gonna hit legs today, but im feeling rather crappy (pergolide). Took 1.375mg again this morning, along with my bucket 'o happiness, with some carbs. Still felt pretty shitty. It'll probably take a couple days to adjust. Dammit. Stupid fucking drug. I need a non-ergot agonist NOW! *throws tantrum*

  Maybe i should just throw back 4mg for a week and see what happens. I wont eat for 7 days, but maybe it'll just get this titration bullshit over with. I should probably get myself a DA antagonist on hand just in case....


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## PreMier (Nov 30, 2004)

4mg a day would be funny.. do it!


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## Monolith (Dec 1, 2004)

PreMier said:
			
		

> 4mg a day would be funny.. do it!


 supportive as always 

 -------

 60mg adderall xr
 300mg wellbutrin
 37.5mg effexor
 1.125mcg pergolide

 yeah... so i woke up late and was in a rush to get out the door, and didnt measure out the right amount of pergolide.  ive felt pretty good (great, even... since im back on the XR) so far today, obviously in part because im not on a full pergo dose.

 Finals begin for me next week.  Ugh.


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## Monolith (Dec 2, 2004)

lmao

 First, a little background:  A few years ago, when i was 15-16, i got pushed into therapy.  I didn't want to go, and did my best to remain mute during these forced sessions (this is before i realized how much fun prescription drugs are).  As you can imagine, very little was accomplished.  Even if i hadnt been so resistant, there probably still wouldnt have been much benefit since in general i dont like talking about my completely whacked psychosocial/dynamic state.  It's mostly out of a fear of scaring people off, but i digress. 

 My current psychiatrist suggested i give therapy another shot.  After much prodding, i finally agreed to give it a go.  I wasn't sure how much i'd be willing to discuss untill i was actually in the room with this person, but figured one session wouldnt hurt.  This first session was this morning...


 So i woke up late this morning, around 10am (was up late).  Didnt have class untill 2pm.  I had meant to get up earlier because of a 10:30 appointment with the therapist, but obviously overslept.  I wanted to get a couple hours of pergolide behind me before i went in.  Unfortunately, by taking it at 10, it coordinated the worst sides with the exact time id be having my brain picked by this person.  Needless to say, the session didnt go well.  I got there late, and felt alright when i arrived.  As soon as i went into the therapists office, though, i began to feel the pergolide start on it's daily hour long journey of nausea and disorientation.  So we sit down, and this woman starts going into the whole "we're a team; we can talk about anything," etc spiel.  I'm speaking a bit, but i slowly become more and more mute.  Why?  Because i dont know which therapist to talk to at this point - my vision is going nutso, and unless i actively refocus my eyes on an object/person, everything blurs out and multiplies.

 I tell her i'm just not very comfortable with talking about my emotions, but she continues prying.  By this point im wondering if the little wicker basket she has in the corner can hold puke or not.  My concentration on her is minimal, as most of it is going into trying to appear sober and not stoned to shit.  I start realizing that she's asking me indirect questions, and im not picking up on them.  I just smile wryly as if i dont want to answer.

 Finally, after an entire agonizing hour of hearing her cluck on and on about all this touchy-feely bullshit, she starts making subtle gestures to indicate the session is coming to a close.  I gladly stumbled up out of the chair, out into the reception area, and respond with a rather slurred "you too" to someone who just proffered a "have a good day" to the person she was talking to on the phone.

 Once back in my car, i drove over to the far end of the parking lot, and promptly passed out for an hour.

 I've done it half a dozen times now, but i never learn.  That is: _don't try to cut your sleep short on pergolide_.  It really makes everything worse.  I dont think i got more than 5-5.5 hours of sleep last night.  With 7-8 hours, these "sleep attacks" are more or less nonexistent... even if im sitting in class listening to a boring lecture.


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## PreMier (Dec 2, 2004)

Are you going to go back to her?  Why not tell her you are using pergo?


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## Monolith (Dec 2, 2004)

PreMier said:
			
		

> Are you going to go back to her?  Why not tell her you are using pergo?


 Any doctor would freak at the thought of someone using unprescribed drugs.  It's understandable - they dont know how much you know, and if they use the general population as a baseline, then there's reason to worry.  Not to mention that it'd be rare to find a psychologist who's familiar with the specific pharmacology of a drug like pergolide.  Theyre trained as therapists, not pharmacists.

 If i were in their shoes, i know i'd probably say something like "WTF?  You're a healthy 21 year old, why the fuck are you taking an anti-parkinson agent?!  It makes you vomit!!  What kind of weirdo are you??  Most people abuse drugs that make them feel GOOD, not BAD!"

 *cue straight jacket*


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## PreMier (Dec 2, 2004)

Where are you getting your "haloween candy"?


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## aggies1ut (Dec 2, 2004)

Monolith said:
			
		

> What kind of weirdo are you??


Ya, what kind of weirdo are you?


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## Monolith (Dec 3, 2004)

aggies1ut said:
			
		

> Ya, what kind of weirdo are you?


 Your subtly serious question hidden in a faux-smiley is well taken. 

 And to answer it... i dunno.  I suppose someone has to soak up all the crazy juice to protect the rest of the gene pool.


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## Monolith (Dec 3, 2004)

Oh yeah, weight training.

 I doubt anyone's interested in the numbers, but i ran through days 2 and 4 this past week of the routine i posted in the training forum. I felt suprisingly strong. My training and diet has been far below par lately, yet i managed to confidently press more weight than ever before on the flat bench. I did a couple singles with 250. Ive gone slightly higher before (255 i think?), but that was with a wider grip and a faster, less controlled tempo.

 This definitely isnt normal for me, especially since - again - my diet has been shit. Ive barely been getting my minimum protein in (and some of that protein has come from peanut M&M's).

 Also, as for todays pergolide update: i'm backing down to 1mg, as im getting close to the end of my stash and didnt order more in time. Worse comes to worst, i can just go stealth around some old people home and thief their meds.


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## Monolith (Dec 3, 2004)

PreMier said:
			
		

> Where are you getting your "haloween candy"?


 Legitimate Rx and a few gray market sources.


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## aggies1ut (Dec 3, 2004)

Monolith said:
			
		

> Your subtly serious question hidden in a faux-smiley is well taken.
> 
> And to answer it... i dunno.  I suppose someone has to soak up all the crazy juice to protect the rest of the gene pool.


  I thought my family had sucked up all the crazy juice.....


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## Twin Peak (Dec 3, 2004)

Hassle me on Monday and I can get that fedex out for Tuesday delivery.


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## cman (Dec 3, 2004)

Monolith said:
			
		

> Legitimate Rx and a few gray market sources.


Grey market?


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## cman (Dec 3, 2004)

PreMier said:
			
		

> Where are you getting your "haloween candy"?


Must live by Ozzey!


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## Monolith (Dec 4, 2004)

Well fuck me sideways, this shit actually works.

 So i hopped on the scale this morning, and im at 245.5lbs, a roughly 5lb drop from last week. And im quite positive that none of it's water, since my diet is still utter shite. i.e., dinner last night (and breakfast this morning) was a few pieces of pizza.

 What's so strange is that it was at such a low dose - the highest i was up to this past week was 1.375mg, and the past couple days have been 1mg. Of course, im also using a ton of other shit which is activating DA pathways, yet still i'm nowhere near the supposed range where dopamine becomes intrinsicly lipolytic.

 What i can attribute this to was a severe lack of hunger. And i do mean severe. These past 2 days when i backed down to 1mg, i started getting returns of hunger in the evening - and it was actually quite a weird feeling, since i hadnt had much of it for the past few weeks. Yet this 5lb loss isnt merely a result of me eating less... as my diet has barely had enough protein in it from day to day, and ive been eating shit like M&M's, pizza, french fries, etc in between. Whats truly incredible, though; are my results in the gym: even with an awful diet and more than a week off in between training sessions, my strength still progressed. Un-fucking-believable. Normally with a perfect diet, taking that much time off and slacking that much during the actual w/o would result in a definite loss in strength the next time i hit the gym. Here, though, we see the exact opposite - shitty diet, shitty w/o's, and strength increasing (albeit mildly).


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## carbchick (Dec 5, 2004)

the language in this log is a fucking disgrace. 
I couldn't deal with all that vomiting and pizza and french fries would do that w/out the chemicals.
so you think it's worth it? 
is it possible to vomit in a straitjacket?


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## Monolith (Dec 5, 2004)

carbchick said:
			
		

> the language in this log is a fucking disgrace.
> I couldn't deal with all that vomiting and pizza and french fries would do that w/out the chemicals.
> so you think it's worth it?
> is it possible to vomit in a straitjacket?


 lmao

 The vomiting isnt much fun, but suprisingly it doesnt bother me too much.  I havent had any of it lately, but ive been keeping my dose steady.

 As for the question of whether or not its worth it... thats truly a personal decision.  I mean, there are so many different variables that would go into a decision like this.  i.e., is it worth the actual COST of the drug?  would spending that money on something else make me happier?  do i really want to deal with the side effects just to see if it works as described?  do i have the time to deal with the sides?  do i have the time to learn about the pharmacodynamics of the drug in general; to educate myself about what it is im ingesting?  etc etc etc....

 For me, its worth it.  Not so much for the reasons written about by Lyle and Loki (although that was certainly the catalyst), but for the fascinating way in which DA agonists (and drugs in general) can completely alter mood, perception, personality, etc.  The body is one giant chemistry set, and im enjoying the experimentation.


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## Rocco32 (Dec 5, 2004)

Damn, I just read the whole journal and I didn't understand any of it, LOL. Hey there Mono! Good luck with what your doing and IMO impressive weights, keep posting numbers. BTW, clean your diet the fuck up!


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## Monolith (Dec 6, 2004)

rofl, thanks rock.


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## Monolith (Dec 6, 2004)

Not much to update with yesterday.  Still at 1mg pergo.  Appetite has been fairly strong in the evenings.  

 I might go to the gym today, might not.  Ive got a ton of shit to do, and its also snowing, cold, and generally crappy out.


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## Monolith (Dec 7, 2004)

Just won on a ticket appeal this morning... long story short, someone i know was able to reschedule my appeal without telling the statie.  So he was a no show.


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## PreMier (Dec 7, 2004)

Damn you lucky bastard


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## Vieope (Dec 7, 2004)

_Mono needs recreational drugs. Damn, who the hell takes that much drugs just to be stable? You need to get high. That is the whole purpose of the existence of drugs.
Bounce with me Mono. :bounce: _


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## Monolith (Dec 9, 2004)

Sorry for the lack of updates (again).  Finals are giving me a nice little skullfuck.  I know there are at least a couple people who had some interest in this log... so here's a note to say it's not dead, just not a priority for the moment.

  Not much to update with over the past 3 days.  I stayed at 1mg on tuesday and wednesday along with the rest of my cocktail.  The effexor is still at 25mg.  May try dropping to 12.5mg over the weekend... but it seems like my depression is worsening (although it could just be that im interpreting some withdrawal symptoms as a worsening depression).  I'm going to come off for at least a couple weeks just to make sure im not imagining things, but at the moment i feel like it won't be gone for long.

 I ran out of pergo today, and downed my last 250mcg.  "Made up for it" with 500mcg pramipexole (along with the rest of the cocktail).  Suprisingly, hunger has still been suppressed quite well.

 An interesting note is that over the past week or so ive been experiencing a bit of a tremor in my hands.  Now let me make this clear, it's nothing noticable to a third person.  Even if i hold up my hand in front of a light, the tremor is barely noticable.  It is definitely there, however.  The only time i find it annoying is when i'm writing.  It's not as if my writing is scrawled across the entire page, but it's certainly not as crisp as usual.

 There are quite a few hypotheses for why this happens (as its pretty common in people using dopaminergics for parkinsons), but either directly or indirectly they almost all revolve around 5-HT.  I'd go into greater detail, but school shit beckons, and i dont have any of the literature on this shit organized.

 Oh yeah, i havent been to the gym in a fucking week.  I havent hit my legs in a week and a half.  I feel like shit.  I cant wait for break.


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## Monolith (Dec 9, 2004)

Vieope said:
			
		

> _Mono needs recreational drugs. Damn, who the hell takes that much drugs just to be stable? You need to get high. That is the whole purpose of the existence of drugs.
> Bounce with me Mono. :bounce: _


  Maybe im always high, and just trying to claw back to reality. :bounce:


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## PreMier (Dec 9, 2004)

How long do you suspect it will take before the 'tremors' subside?


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## aggies1ut (Dec 9, 2004)

Tremors while taking medications for Parkinson's Disease...interesting...


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## I'm Trying (Dec 9, 2004)

rock4832 said:
			
		

> Damn, I just read the whole journal and I didn't understand any of it, LOL.



Good to see I wasn't the only one...  

Whats up Mono??


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## Monolith (Dec 12, 2004)

Hey IT. 

 Tremors will probably last as long as i'm sitting at a steady dose.  The up-titration doesnt give the receptors enough time to sensitize.  I've been off for a few days now and the tremors are gone (although that could be related to something else, which im too lazy to explain.  lol).

 Anyway, something interesting to note... my diet lately has consisted of M&M's, pie, cookies, etc... and over the past week i lost 10lbs.  I'm pretty pissed.  Obviously there's probably a ton of muscle in that 10lbs, although i do look a LOT leaner, and my gut is down about an inch and a half.  Theres probably some water in there too.


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## Twin Peak (Dec 12, 2004)

10 lbs and you are eating like that?  The pergo?  Have you used bromo?


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## Monolith (Dec 12, 2004)

Never used bromo, although the pramipexole - which im using right now - is very similar to bromo.

 I'm thinking the weight loss is mostly a result of a straight caloric defecit, though.  Even with all that shit ive been eating, the hunger suppression from the perg and the pram have been pretty intense.  Then again, that lower dose of perg i was on could very well have equated with a higher dose, considering i was on a few other dopaminergic drugs at the same time.

 We'll see tomorrow, when i finally make it back into the gym (i hope).  If i'm weak as shit, then it was just the defecit.  If i'm only down a tiny bit or (as far fetched as it may seem) unchanged, then we'll know there was something else going on.


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## Monolith (Dec 15, 2004)

Monolith said:
			
		

> my diet lately has consisted of M&M's, pie, cookies, etc... and over the past week i lost 10lbs. I'm pretty pissed. Obviously there's probably a ton of muscle in that 10lbs, although i do look a LOT leaner, and my gut is down about an inch and a half. Theres probably some water in there too.


  So i _finally_ made it back into the gym today. I did some light chest/back work... and my weights hadnt dropped at all. In 2 weeks. With a shitty diet. And after losing 10lbs.


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## Monolith (Dec 19, 2004)

THREE MORE DAYS!

_JUST THREE MORE!_ 

   And no, i dont mean christmas.


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## PreMier (Dec 20, 2004)

Is that when you get more pergo?


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## Monolith (Dec 20, 2004)

lol, nah, close.  finals are over in 3 days.


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## Vieope (Dec 20, 2004)

_Hey Mono. _


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## Rocco32 (Dec 24, 2004)

Hey Mono, hope you have a great Christmas!


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## Vieope (Dec 31, 2004)

_.. and a happy new year! _


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