# Megan Fox isn't real



## Crono1000 (Jun 13, 2009)

YouTube Video


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## T_man (Jun 14, 2009)

would you fuck megan fox in a public supermarket?


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## Crono1000 (Jun 14, 2009)

T_man said:


> would you fuck megan fox in a public supermarket?



yes, yes I would.


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## danzik17 (Jun 14, 2009)

T_man said:


> would you fuck megan fox in a public supermarket?



Not only would I do that, I would do it in the fresh produce section so we have a wide variety of uh....things to play with.


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## sshamm_bone_1 (Jun 14, 2009)

danzik17 said:


> Not only would I do that, I would do it in the fresh produce section so we have a wide variety of uh....things to play with.




LOL the healthy serving of meat and vegtables for her....maybe you would have to roll on over to the dairy section for some whipped cream for dessert.


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## T_man (Jun 14, 2009)

danzik17 said:


> Not only would I do that, I would do it in the fresh produce section so we have a wide variety of uh....things to play with.



i'd be too busy pounding to use anything else. I would actually go until I was a skeleton. For days and days till I got a heart attack


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## juggernaut (Jun 14, 2009)

I'd do it in the pancake and syrup isle. Kind of closed off, not too many people in that area...
Or, perhaps the bread isle so I can hit her on the head with a loaf of bread.


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## T_man (Jun 14, 2009)

juggernaut said:


> I'd do it in the pancake and syrup isle. Kind of closed off, not too many people in that area...
> Or, perhaps the bread isle so I can hit her on the head with a loaf of bread.



meatloaf??


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## Crono1000 (Jun 14, 2009)

T_man said:


> i'd be too busy pounding to use anything else. I would actually go until I was a skeleton. For days and days till I got a heart attack



like you would last that long with Megan Fox


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## T_man (Jun 14, 2009)

Crono1000 said:


> like you would last that long with Megan Fox



i would bust my load and keep going dude

i just would not stop, i would keep pounding through the pain till her pelvis cracked


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## juggernaut (Jun 14, 2009)

we've got a few barbaric motherfuckers on this board.


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## T_man (Jun 14, 2009)

juggernaut said:


> we've got a few barbaric motherfuckers on this board.



and you're one of them


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## juggernaut (Jun 14, 2009)

noooo me?? come on....


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## maniclion (Jun 15, 2009)

I'd pay a produce boy to dump all the bananas in stock on top of us and all people would see is a heaving heap of bananas, after a while i'd bust out in a crotchless gorilla suit while dragging her by the arm on a mat of banana peels to the seafood section where I'd take two lobsters out of the tank and clip them to my nipples and continue over to the deli where I would spank her with a large salami while slinging cheese slices at on-lookers and passers-by, hell I might even stick my dick in a tub of potato salad....


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## nkira (Jun 15, 2009)

You say that after saying that you were a slut, who's gonna believe you.....the cat's out of the bag dude....don't bother  




juggernaut said:


> *nah-when I was 25 to 29, I was a slut. And very proud of it.*





juggernaut said:


> noooo me?? come on....


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## T_man (Jun 15, 2009)

juggernaut said:


> noooo me?? come on....


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## min0 lee (Jun 15, 2009)




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## Doublebase (Jun 15, 2009)

She has toe thumb.
Megan Fox Toe Thumb


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## Crono1000 (Jun 16, 2009)

min0 lee said:


>



where are her nipples?


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## juggernaut (Jun 16, 2009)

in other news: Lindsay Lohan's sister wants to do porn. Her name? Lindsay HOhan, would be my guess.


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## maniclion (Jun 17, 2009)

I like her shoulder tat, even though it's kind of ironic when you see her on the red carpet all nice and gilded.....






The one on her left ribs is not as asthetically pleasing, it looks like dirt or a bruise at a distance.....


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## juggernaut (Jun 17, 2009)

but shes even funnier when shes a coked up ho.


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## Doublebase (Jun 17, 2009)




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## I Are Baboon (Jun 17, 2009)

Doublebase said:


> She has toe thumb.
> Megan Fox Toe Thumb



LOL

How's her handshake?  A little firm?  A little smelly?


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## Crono1000 (Jun 17, 2009)

maniclion said:


> I'd pay a produce boy to dump all the bananas in stock on top of us and all people would see is a heaving heap of bananas, after a while i'd bust out in a crotchless gorilla suit while dragging her by the arm on a mat of banana peels to the seafood section where I'd take two lobsters out of the tank and clip them to my nipples and continue over to the deli where I would spank her with a large salami while slinging cheese slices at on-lookers and passers-by, hell I might even stick my dick in a tub of potato salad....



I'd let her put a cheese grater to my testicles until she could fill a decent sized dish with shavings, then have her roll around in a tub of butter until she could roll around in the shavings until partly covered with ball crumbles akin to making chicken parmesan.  Then I'd pleasure myself to clippings of her pubic hair while she fingers my new scrotum hole and calls me my mother's name.  About halfway through she puts her fist up my anus as far as she can, calling me worthless and bringing up childhood embarrasments, so that right before I ejaculate she can spread her fingers out wide, shoveling feces out of my anus and spreading it across my back and face.


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## min0 lee (Jun 17, 2009)

Blackhorse???


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## maniclion (Jun 17, 2009)

Crono1000 said:


> I'd let her put a cheese grater to my testicles until she could fill a decent sized dish with shavings, then have her roll around in a tub of butter until she could roll around in the shavings until partly covered with ball crumbles akin to making chicken parmesan.  Then I'd pleasure myself to clippings of her pubic hair while she fingers my new scrotum hole and calls me my mother's name.  About halfway through she puts her fist up my anus as far as she can, calling me worthless and bringing up childhood embarrasments, so that right before I ejaculate she can spread her fingers out wide, shoveling feces out of my anus and spreading it across my back and face.


That is just abominably atrocious and abhorrently appalling, to think you would be able to ejaculate after your balls tumble from your sack and dangle by their tubes, the prostate just can't pump that well against gravity no matter how well stimulated it is rectally......


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## T_man (Jun 17, 2009)

Crono1000 said:


> I'd let her put a cheese grater to my testicles until she could fill a decent sized dish with shavings, then have her roll around in a tub of butter until she could roll around in the shavings until partly covered with ball crumbles akin to making chicken parmesan.  Then I'd pleasure myself to clippings of her pubic hair while she fingers my new scrotum hole and calls me my mother's name.  About halfway through she puts her fist up my anus as far as she can, calling me worthless and bringing up childhood embarrasments, so that right before I ejaculate she can spread her fingers out wide, shoveling feces out of my anus and spreading it across my back and face.



beyond a joke


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## juggernaut (Jun 18, 2009)

thats pretty fucking twisted. Welcome to IM.



Crono1000 said:


> I'd let her put a cheese grater to my testicles until she could fill a decent sized dish with shavings, then have her roll around in a tub of butter until she could roll around in the shavings until partly covered with ball crumbles akin to making chicken parmesan.  Then I'd pleasure myself to clippings of her pubic hair while she fingers my new scrotum hole and calls me my mother's name.  About halfway through she puts her fist up my anus as far as she can, calling me worthless and bringing up childhood embarrasments, so that right before I ejaculate she can spread her fingers out wide, shoveling feces out of my anus and spreading it across my back and face.


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## juggernaut (Jun 18, 2009)

maniclion said:


> to think you would be able to ejaculate after your balls tumble from your sack and dangle by their tubes, the prostate just can't pump that well against gravity no matter how well stimulated it is rectally......


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## lola1182 (Jun 18, 2009)

juggernaut said:


> I'd do it in the pancake and syrup isle. Kind of closed off, not too many people in that area...
> Or, perhaps the bread isle so I can hit her on the head with a loaf of bread.




 wtf? with a loaf of bread.. nice.


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## Crono1000 (Jun 18, 2009)

i would let her tie me to a bed in her basement and drug me into a comma for 2 months straight.  On a daily basis she would collect my eye discharge into a gallon of unrefridgerated milk and also strip layers of my skin until she had enough to twine a whip made of my own flesh.  When I finally awake 2 months later she forces me to ingest the gallon of eyemilk by whipping me with the skinwhip.  Each time I vomit she picks off a healing scab from the previous skinning with a rusty butterknife with 2 months worth of my own nail clippings glued to it.  When I finally finish the milk we have sex in the resulting puddle of blood, vomit, eye discharge, skin and nail clippings, and spoiled milk.  And it would be worth it.  

I disappear from the boards for like 3 months and I come back to post this.  My god I have problems...


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## maniclion (Jun 18, 2009)

I guess you'd like to hold her hostage for a few month's, go to walmart and buy the whole rack of white panties, feed her beef and bean burritos from 7-11 everyday.  You'd only give her 4 squares of toilet paper a day then make her change her underwear every 2 days.  You would then meticulously carve old the brownish stains from the used panties and boil them in a small beaker until all residue dissolved into the solution, then you would put it in the sun until the liquid evaporated and scrape the residue into a pie pan with the other days scrapings.  You'd also be collecting her menstruation each time and freezing it for later use.  Once you felt you had enough you thaw out the spoiled tomato like jello stuff and mix it with the residual feces until it form a paste, then you take her urine and get it to an ink like consistency.  Then you take a tattoo gun with needles you made out of her unshaven armpit hair and melted toenail clippings and tattoo her facial features over your face, then her breasts over your chest and her vulva over your mons pubis and the base of you penis so that when you tuck it for a mangina it looks like hers.  Then you give her an amnesia inducing drug, she forgets the whole past few month's, goes on with her life except for when you show up as a streaker at events she attends.....


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## Crono1000 (Jun 18, 2009)

maniclion said:


> I guess you'd like to hold her hostage for a few month's, go to walmart and buy the whole rack of white panties, feed her beef and bean burritos from 7-11 everyday.  You'd only give her 4 squares of toilet paper a day then make her change her underwear every 2 days.  You would then meticulously carve old the brownish stains from the used panties and boil them in a small beaker until all residue dissolved into the solution, then you would put it in the sun until the liquid evaporated and scrape the residue into a pie pan with the other days scrapings.  You'd also be collecting her menstruation each time and freezing it for later use.  Once you felt you had enough you thaw out the spoiled tomato like jello stuff and mix it with the residual feces until it form a paste, then you take her urine and get it to an ink like consistency.  Then you take a tattoo gun with needles you made out of her unshaven armpit hair and melted toenail clippings and tattoo her facial features over your face, then her breasts over your chest and her vulva over your mons pubis and the base of you penis so that when you tuck it for a mangina it looks like hers.  Then you give her an amnesia inducing drug, she forgets the whole past few month's, goes on with her life except for when you show up as a streaker at events she attends.....



dude... that's just sick


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## T_man (Jun 18, 2009)




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## maniclion (Jun 18, 2009)

Crono1000 said:


> dude... that's just sick


There always the ))<>(( forever thing.....


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## maniclion (Jun 18, 2009)

Crono1000 said:


> dude... that's just sick


Never get into a pissing match with a guy who might have jerked off earier that morning, he may have crusty old semen on the tip that could cause his stream to spray all over the place like a thumb over the end of a garden hose......


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## Crono1000 (Jun 19, 2009)

I would take her out to dinner and pay.  I would buy her flowers and let her choose a movie for us to watch, probably a chick flick but I'm ok with that.  Then I would drive her home, compliment her, and then hug her goodbye, and maybe in a date or two when she's ready she might let me give her a kiss.


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## maniclion (Jun 19, 2009)

Oh yeah, well I would ask if she and her parents would like to have Sunday Brunch together after church.  Then we would take a chaperoned stroll through the park where we just might hold hands.  As we walk I'd throw my coat over small puddles, pick falling leaves from her hair and sing sweet ballads of loves cheer.

On our 30th day of courtship we might be aloud to spend time alone, but her mother would have to sew our sleeves to our sides and our legs into potato sacks so that we couldn't move and fool around......at this point I might put my cheek against hers for a brief moment of exhilaration.


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## Crono1000 (Jun 19, 2009)

We would dictate letters to be written to each other as penpals until she had avoided sunlight long enough to lose her tan because as is we may be confused as an interracial white-hispanic couple.  Our first actual contact would be at our wedding when the preacher states "You may now wave at the bride."  We would then pay a couple to role play as us and go on our honeymoon for us.

meanwhile I would cheat on her with Angelina Jolie with wild ass fucking


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## Dale Mabry (Jun 19, 2009)

Crono1000 said:


> i would let her tie me to a bed in her basement and drug me into a comma for 2 months straight.  On a daily basis she would collect my eye discharge into a gallon of unrefridgerated milk and also strip layers of my skin until she had enough to twine a whip made of my own flesh.  When I finally awake 2 months later she forces me to ingest the gallon of eyemilk by whipping me with the skinwhip.  Each time I vomit she picks off a healing scab from the previous skinning with a rusty butterknife with 2 months worth of my own nail clippings glued to it.  When I finally finish the milk we have sex in the resulting puddle of blood, vomit, eye discharge, skin and nail clippings, and spoiled milk.  And it would be worth it.
> 
> I disappear from the boards for like 3 months and I come back to post this.  My god I have problems...



Dude, no one is going to believe a story about *YOU* and Megan Fox having sex without transformers being involved in some way.


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## Crono1000 (Jun 19, 2009)

Dale Mabry said:


> Dude, no one is going to believe a story about *YOU* and Megan Fox having sex without transformers being involved in some way.



well I figured it was implied that we were dressed as Optimus and Starscream throughout the entire process.  Most of my stories do


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## min0 lee (Jun 22, 2009)




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## Little Wing (Jun 22, 2009)

Crono1000 said:


> We would dictate letters to be written to each other as penpals until she had avoided sunlight long enough to lose her tan because as is we may be confused as an interracial white-hispanic couple.  Our first actual contact would be at our wedding when the preacher states "You may now wave at the bride."  We would then pay a couple to role play as us and go on our honeymoon for us.
> 
> meanwhile I would cheat on her with Angelina Jolie with wild ass fucking




ok i just watched try not to laugh vids on youtube. none were funny. the closing here made me laugh.


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## Little Wing (Jun 22, 2009)

min0 lee said:


>



and i'm quite sure angelina would not ignore a child trying to give her a rose.


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## min0 lee (Jun 22, 2009)

Little Wing said:


> and i'm quite sure angelina would not ignore a child trying to give her a rose.


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## The Monkey Man (Jun 22, 2009)

Little Wing said:


> and i'm quite sure angelina would not ignore a child trying to give her a rose.



Who cares?

All that adopting kids, and hanging out in 3rd world shithole's
is just not hot.

Thats why Brad's getting the panky on the side.


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## Dale Mabry (Jun 22, 2009)

Crono1000 said:


> well I figured it was implied that we were dressed as Optimus and Starscream throughout the entire process.  Most of my stories do



Which one of you is Starscream?


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## Doublebase (Jun 23, 2009)

Us Magazine - Megan Fox Apologizes for Snubbing Little Boy


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## T_man (Jun 23, 2009)

min0 lee said:


>



It looks like she didn't see him and was being pulled away.

Besides. Look at those breasts. Perfection.

Megan Fox over Angelina any day.


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## T_man (Jun 23, 2009)

I don't believe in soul mates and stuff like that.

But if I did;
I would say Megan Fox was totally not mine. 

She'd be soul mates with some gods somewhere.


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## maniclion (Jun 23, 2009)

T_man said:


> It looks like she didn't see him and was being pulled away.
> 
> Besides. Look at those breasts. Perfection.
> 
> Megan Fox over Angelina any day.


Angelina's are much more perfect than Megan Fox's boobs, have you seen Gia!


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## min0 lee (Jun 23, 2009)

maniclion said:


> Angelina's are much more perfect than Megan Fox's boobs, have you seen Gia!



Angelina is more of women....


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## The Monkey Man (Jun 23, 2009)

Out with the old...
In with the new.

And other votes for old accordian-vagine's replacement?


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## min0 lee (Jun 23, 2009)

The Monkey Man said:


> Out with the old...
> In with the new.
> 
> And other votes for old accordian-vagine's replacement?



I'm pretty sure Fox is no longer tight.

I think older woman have a lot more to offer than younger woman.

Jolie still has a better body over shorty.


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## T_man (Jun 23, 2009)

Angelina is too up-tight and conservative to really tickle my fancy.

At my age I stay away from any snobby, conservative cunts cos they really are a waste of time atm.

Megan Fox all the way.


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## min0 lee (Jun 23, 2009)

I would have thought Angelina was more Liberal in her views.

Unless you mean she won't open her legs to easy making her conservative and Megan more easy so she's liberal?

Who really wants a slut?


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## min0 lee (Jun 23, 2009)




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## min0 lee (Jun 23, 2009)




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## min0 lee (Jun 23, 2009)

> Two years ago, Megan offered up too much information she revealed her questionable hygiene habits.
> 
> She told FHM: 'I'm horrible to live with. I don't clean. My clothes end up wherever I take them off. I forget to flush the toilet. Friends will tell me, "Megan, you totally pinched a loaf in my toilet and didn't flush."'



Yuck!!


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## T_man (Jun 23, 2009)

min0 lee said:


> I would have thought Angelina was more Liberal in her views.
> 
> Unless you mean she won't open her legs to easy making her conservative and Megan more easy so she's liberal?
> 
> *Who really wants a slut?*


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## min0 lee (Jun 23, 2009)




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## maniclion (Jun 24, 2009)

min0 lee said:


> Yuck!!


I don't know what would be worse, having to constantly flush after Megan Fox or live with Angelina and have one of her Jungle Dwarves constantly taking a crap in the potted plants in the living room?  "I can only shit in the forest..."


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## min0 lee (Jun 24, 2009)

maniclion said:


> I don't know what would be worse, having to constantly flush after Megan Fox or live with Angelina and have one of her Jungle Dwarves constantly taking a crap in the potted plants in the living room?  *"I can only shit in the forest..."*


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