# Cruel jokes, but I laughed.



## irontime (Mar 19, 2003)

Please be forewarned that some of these are kinda cruel, no offense is meant by any of them (at least by me, I didn't make them)

>..Q: What is better than winning a medal at the 
>Special Olympics? 
> > 
> >A: Not being retarded 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q: What's blue and fucks old people? 
> > 
> >A: Hypothermia 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets 
>out of the battered 
> >wives' shelter? 
> > 
> >A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q: What is the definition of "making love"? 
> > 
> >A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her. 
> 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in 
>common? 
> > 
> >A: They don't fucking listen. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts? 
> > 
> >A: Gonorrhoea 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q: Why did God create yeast infections? 
> > 
> >A: So women would know what it's like to live with an 
>irritating cunt once in a while too. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q. How can you tell a macho woman? 
> > 
> >A. She rolls her own tampons. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q. Why do fags like ribbed condoms? 
> > 
> >A. Better traction in the mud. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep? 
> 
> > 
> >A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q. What's the difference between acne and MJ... Michael Jackson? 
> > 
> >A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant? 
> > 
> >A. Marry it. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q. What do you get when you cross two black people? 
> > 
> >A. Your ass kicked. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a 
>hooker? 
> > 
> >A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance? 
> > 
> >A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're 
>driving. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen? 
> > 
> >A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat 
>at thirty miles an hour. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q. Why do women call it PMS? 
> > 
> >A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q. What's a mixed feeling? 
> > 
> >A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a 
>cliff in your new car. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q. What's the height of conceit? 
> > 
> >A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q. What's the definition of macho? 
> > 
> >A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party? 
> > 
> >A. The cake jumps out of the girl. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex? 
> 
> > 
> >A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole 
>weak. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q. How is pubic hair like parsley? 
> > 
> >A. You push it to the side before you start eating. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob? 
> > 
> >A. You know she'll swallow. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex 
>education on the same day in Iraq? 
> > 
> >A. They don't want to wear out the camel. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and 
>a Jewish wife? 
> > 
> >A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake 
>jewellery. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf 
>ball? 
> > 
> >A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************* 
> 
> > 
> >Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch 
>know when it is bedtime? 
> > 
> >A. When the big hand touches the little hand... 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and 
>clean the house? 
> > 
> >A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's 
>not time. 
> > 
> >********************************************************************** 
> 
> > 
> >Q. Do you know how Islam's practice safe sex? 
> > 
> >A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals 
>that kick. 
*********************************************************************  
> >Q. Why is divorce so expensive? 
> > 
> >A. Because it's worth it  
***************************************************


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## Crono1000 (Mar 19, 2003)

how many preschoolers did you have to fuck to get these?


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## Rusty (Mar 19, 2003)

and my personal favorite..........



> Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
> 
> A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt once in a while too.


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## irontime (Mar 19, 2003)

> _*Originally posted by Crono1000 *_
> how many preschoolers did you have to fuck to get these?


 Now that's just wrong. 
and people say that I'M warped


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## david (Mar 23, 2003)

> _*Originally posted by Crono1000 *_
> how many preschoolers did you have to fuck to get these?


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## CRASHMAN (Mar 24, 2003)




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## firestorm (Mar 24, 2003)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA  AWESOME JOKES!!!


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## mesomorphin' (Mar 24, 2003)

> _*Originally posted by irontime *_
> 
> and people say that I'M warped



And I'd have to say, those people have a point!  (Nice jokes anyway.)


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## irontime (Mar 24, 2003)

Good point


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