# Wondering What The Future Holds?



## ZECH (Jul 29, 2004)

This is not going to be an exercise journal, but merely some thoughts and feelings on my part as I face a new direction in life. I have found it to be a good thing to have a place to vent and get feelings out instead of keeping them locked inside. A few may know and most do not, but I came home on July 1 to find my wife and children gone. My wife had left over her adulterous affair and secreted the whereabouts of my children for a week. It was not until my attorney forced her attorney to do something, that we worked out a temporary custody order, sharing custody of my two children until we have a custody trial which it looks like may be next spring. She wants full custody, so it looks like I have no choice but to fight for full custody also. The biggest thing at this point is school starts next week(8-5) and my wife is wanting to put my children in a new school and uproot them even more than they already have been. I actually have them the first four days of school so things are on my side right now. She has done things I would never have expected and is using the kids to her advantage with no regard for the best interest of the children. I am so pissed right now that you can't imagine. But I have to remain calm. If I do anything stupid, it will hurt my chance at getting custody of the kids. I feel like I am starting life over at 20 years old. We would have been married 15 years this Nov. I worry about my children and where they are when they are not with me and if they are ok. I wonder how someone can change that much and go straight into hating you. Everything that is coming out of her right now is a lie. She keeps promising and then pulls something new. I don't know what to think anymore. I wonder what I will lose as far as my house and Marital property when we have to divide stuff. I will probably have to start over and have the kids in a new home. The one I have now is the only one they have ever known. It tears me up that this is happening to the kids. It would be much easier if it was just me. I also can't believe my wife has the gall to do this to the kids. This is what makes me the maddest. I will always resent her and never be able to forgive her for the things she has done to them. She had this planned for a while. The following days after she left, I find out that none of the bills had been paid in almost two months. So i was left with almost 2k in bills due and all my bills still to pay, like the house, my truck and insurance for the home and vehicles. She even closed the checking account, so I can't even write a check until I open a new one. I have plenty of money in my retirement and 401k, but I can't get to it unless I quit my job, and I can't do that right now and expect a chance of getting the kids. She had quit her job last year and rolled her 401k into a fund at a local bank and was able to get her money and that is how she got a new apartment and furniture. She has nothing out of my home at the current time except for the computer I had and she still refuses to give it to me. So I'm taking it day by day right now and things seem to change pretty quickly as far as new stuff popping up. If I can just get the kids in their old school and settled, I think everything will work until the trial date.


----------



## naturaltan (Jul 29, 2004)

wow ... I can't comment on that as that is some heavy stuff.   I can say that I hope it works out for you and more importantly, the kids. 

Keep you head high DG.


----------



## BoneCrusher (Jul 29, 2004)

Infidelity and betrayal are not gender specific and have been a source of agony for everyone here at some time or another. Mine is recent and ended a 22 year marriage, but our son is 16 and is with me so I do not have that pain in my soul as you do. I am new on this forum but man I feel for ya.

 I can say I am proud of my participation in the way we ended it and can only advise you not to do anything that will make you feel like less of a person in your own eyes. My son watched as the whole thing went down and has his own opinions about his mother and her actions.

 Now that you know what you???re dealing with you can plan a course of action and do what ever is best for the kids. I have chosen not to date for a period just to keep my mind clear and not complicate my son???s problems. From the articulate way you expressed yourself and the way you have balanced the needs of your kids vs. your own needs you seem to be an intelligent and compassionate person. Follow your conscience; protect your soul, and good luck DG.


----------



## ZECH (Jul 29, 2004)

naturaltan said:
			
		

> wow ... I can't comment on that as that is some heavy stuff.   I can say that I hope it works out for you and more importantly, the kids.
> 
> Keep you head high DG.


Your a good buddy NT


----------



## largepkg (Jul 29, 2004)

dg, keep your head up partner. You're doing the right thing. 

I was in a similar situation and things worked out. They will for you as well.


----------



## P-funk (Jul 29, 2004)

Wow man, that is some heavy stuff.  hope everything works out for the best.

hang in there brother.


----------



## Var (Jul 29, 2004)

Really sorry to hear about what happened, DG.  Keep you chin up.  I hope everything works out for you and the kids.


----------



## naturaltan (Jul 29, 2004)

dg806 said:
			
		

> Your a good buddy NT



thanks   I think you're one of the few here that I clash with opinion-wise on most threads, but that's why we get along ... because we come from different lifestyles yet can agree to disagree.


----------



## ZECH (Jul 29, 2004)

naturaltan said:
			
		

> thanks   I think you're one of the few here that I clash with opinion-wise on most threads, but that's why we get along ... because we come from different lifestyles yet can agree to disagree.


I wouldn't always say that is a bad thing. There is a guy here at work who is a hard line democrat and most know I'm on the other end. We give each other hell most of the time, but are still great friends!


----------



## ZECH (Jul 29, 2004)

I appreciate everyone's well wishes. That really means alot!


----------



## naturaltan (Jul 29, 2004)

dg806 said:
			
		

> I wouldn't always say that is a bad thing. There is a guy here at work who is a hard line democrat and most know I'm on the other end. We give each other hell most of the time, but are still great friends!



nope ... it's certainly not a bad thing.


----------



## fantasma62 (Jul 29, 2004)

Wow, that is truly amazing.  It isn't so much the question of why she did that to you, you already know that because you said that she was/is an adulterer.  The thing that gets me is the kids.  The stress that this is putting on the kids is immense.

Regarding her uprooting the kids, she can't possibly do that without your consent.  In fact, if you guys were already divorced and you had shared custody, she would have to ask you first.  Since you are separated, don't you both still have joint custody until otherwise stated by the court system?

Regarding the 401k, I asked my wife, who works in HR and she told me that normally you can borrow X amount of money.  For repayment, usually the company will deduct monthly an xyz amount from your paycheck.  The good news, if there is any in this situation, is that you will not be charged interest while you are repaying.  She tells me that most companies are like that and that although your company may work a different way, it won't differ too much.
I am sorry that this is happening to you and I will take time tonight before heading to bed to say a little prayer on your behalf.  If you are not religious and find that to be insulting, I apologize, but that's the best I can offer.
I hope for nothing but the best for you and your children, as I don't much care for your ex wife....


----------



## JerseyDevil (Jul 29, 2004)

Wow DG, I'm really sorry to hear this.  My wife and her ex went through a similar situation. To this day, there is shared custody.  The best advice I can give is to hire the finest attorney you can afford, one that specializes in child custody cases.  It really does make a difference.


----------



## ZECH (Jul 29, 2004)

fantasma62 said:
			
		

> Wow, that is truly amazing.  It isn't so much the question of why she did that to you, you already know that because you said that she was/is an adulterer.  The thing that gets me is the kids.  The stress that this is putting on the kids is immense.
> 
> Regarding her uprooting the kids, she can't possibly do that without your consent.  In fact, if you guys were already divorced and you had shared custody, she would have to ask you first.  Since you are separated, don't you both still have joint custody until otherwise stated by the court system?
> 
> ...


No I don't mind at all.............I appreciate it!


----------



## ZECH (Jul 29, 2004)

JerseyDevil said:
			
		

> Wow DG, I'm really sorry to hear this.  My wife and her ex went through a similar situation. To this day, there is shared custody.  The best advice I can give is to hire the finest attorney you can afford, one that specializes in child custody cases.  It really does make a difference.


Well I first talked to a guy I know, but he doesn't specialize in just child custody. I didn't get a good feeling from him as he seemed to think everything went a certain way. Then after talking to some buddies that reccommened a lady lawyer that was ruthless in court. I talked to her and she is representing me. She scares me she is so cold. But that is what I need. The first day she called my wife's lawyer and gave him hell about her hiding the kids for almost a week and she got the temporary shared custody set up for me. I think she will do great. I already have some stuff to use against her in court! It cost me several thousand up front that I really didn't have, but there is no way I could do without her.


----------



## PreMier (Jul 29, 2004)

Wow.. I have never talked to you much DG, but my heart goes out to you on this.  I hope everything turns out for the better, and I will also say a prayer.
-Jake


----------



## Monolith (Jul 29, 2004)

Best of luck, DG.  From the description you gave of your wife, there's no way the court could rule in her favor.


----------



## JerseyDevil (Jul 29, 2004)

dg806 said:
			
		

> Well I first talked to a guy I know, but he doesn't specialize in just child custody. I didn't get a good feeling from him as he seemed to think everything went a certain way. Then after talking to some buddies that reccommened a lady lawyer that was ruthless in court. I talked to her and she is representing me. She scares me she is so cold. But that is what I need. The first day she called my wife's lawyer and gave him hell about her hiding the kids for almost a week and she got the temporary shared custody set up for me. I think she will do great. I already have some stuff to use against her in court! It cost me several thousand up front that I really didn't have, but there is no way I could do without her.


She sounds perfect Dave  .


----------



## I'm Trying (Jul 29, 2004)

Sent you a PM dg.


----------



## ZECH (Jul 30, 2004)

Seems like each day brings a new challange for me and it's hard for me to maintain my cool. The school my wife wants to enroll the kids in called yesterday to the school where my kids have been going and requested the records. The principal called me and told me they had called, as I had talked to her several weeks ago and informed her of the situation and my wife's intentions, and she said she would inform me if that happened. Legally she didn't know what to do. I told her on my attorney's advice, that since I had them the first four days of school, we would be putting them back where they were use to going. The principal said if she did send them that she would have to take them off the roll. I told her it was my preference for her not to send them but I could not make her not do it. She is on my side and feels bad for the kids. My attorney spoke to the school district's attorney yesterday and he told my attorney that the deadline for transfers had passed and that the school board had to approve a transfer and not the school. He was surprised that they even entertained the thought of a transfer. Well my wife called the principal this morning and requested her to send them. The principal called me immediately. She said if I would get her a copy of the temporary custody agreement showing I had them half the time and that i lived in Badin, that she would not send them!! So right now it looks good for me. But I'm sure as soon as my wife and her attorney find out they won't send them, they will seek an injunction on the status quo. But my lawyer has already spoken to the judge and has asked that if her lawyer wants something, to not sign it without her present. So we are staying one step ahead of them! It changes quickly...........


----------



## Jodi (Jul 30, 2004)

Wow DG - I'm very sorry to hear all of this.  My heart goes out to you and your children and I wish you all the best.


----------



## Monolith (Jul 30, 2004)

How old are the kids if ya dont mind me asking?


----------



## ZECH (Jul 30, 2004)

Jodi said:
			
		

> Wow DG - I'm very sorry to hear all of this.  My heart goes out to you and your children and I wish you all the best.


Thanks Jodi! I really appreciate it!
Mono, Matthew is 7 in two weeks and Maddison will be 9 in Nov.


----------



## ZECH (Aug 2, 2004)

Took the kids shopping Saturday night. We went out and ate and got some ICECREAM later. They had a ball. I have to take them back tonight. Gonna be hard after having them 6 days. But with our weird 48 hour agreement, I get them back Wednesday night.
You know what is sooo weird................I see all these lovely ladies at the mall, but it really scares me to think about dating someone I really don't know. Too much crap around these days and to me it's not worth a few minutes of fun. Well not like I'm really ready to anyway. Right now that is the last thing from my mind. I don't even know at this point if I will ever be able to trust another female. I think I'm gonna call Spanky and join the Weman women haters club!


----------



## fantasma62 (Aug 2, 2004)

Hi dg,


First off, I hope you are able to keep your cool.  Your kids don't need to see you lose it.  At that age they are very impressionable and will think that what's happening is their fault, even if their mom is a whore...sorry...out of character for me but I am pissed off and I don't even know you man....However, that's how I feel and I won't erase that comment.
Anyway, she's already lost her cool, and will lose it more when you bring the facts into court.  She cheated, you didn't.  She has lost her cool completely, while you have always kept it.  I can't tell you that I have ever gone thru this and maybe I am talking out of my arse, but I can tell you that the kids are the most important thing here and if you keep your cool, you'll think better and react better to whatever goes on.  It all seems to be in your favor regarding custody.  I don't see a judge in this land awarding her the kids, however, don't go to Venezuela and do this because she'll get the kids no matter what... 
Keep your head up, we'll keep praying for you.....


----------



## ZECH (Aug 2, 2004)

Thanks! Well, I agree with you, but the bad thing is, you never know what will happen. It all depends on the judge you get. And unfortunately, I live in a county where they are years behind in child custody(ex., most still rule in favor of the woman, no matter what). But recently my lawyer told me we do have a new one that is very fair to males, so I have to hope. And no matter what she did and weather I agree with what she did, to me that doesn't matter as far as the kids are concerned. At 7 and 9 they still need their mother as much as their father. Bad thing is, she is not willing at this point to continue the shared custody, which leaves me no other option than to fight for full custody. Then after that, if I do get custody we will have to see what happens. Right before I took the kids out to eat Friday night she called and wanted to speak to them. I didn't let her, saying the things she was trying to pull with the school switching thing and others, was not in the best interest of the kids, and when she started to act like an adult, she could speak to them and I hung up. She called right back and after a few more words, I hung up again and then took the phone off the hook till we left. Of course later that night before they went to bed, I let them call her,but I think I made my point clear. I'm expecting some last minute thing(probably her and her lawyer trying to get an injunction) to switch schools today or tomorrow. We'll see. If she is successful, you can bet I will use that in court against her as upsetting the kids.


----------



## ZECH (Aug 3, 2004)

Well so far so good. Didn't hear anything at all yesterday. When I returned the kids last night she looked very depressed. I figure she found out that she couldn't transfer the kids? Wouldn't speak to me either. All I got was go to hell looks. Which is fine with me.
I just saw that it's going to be in the 40's in the mountains this weekend after a big front passes. Might be a good weekend to go backpacking after I return the kids Friday night.


----------



## oaktownboy (Aug 3, 2004)

jesus..I hope u find the inner strength to combat this struggle and end up a stronger person in the end dg. My parents went thru the same thing when i was 12, so i have an idea about how it feels, but obviously not from the parent side. keep ya head up
--J


----------



## ZECH (Aug 3, 2004)

Honestly, I don't see how it can make you a stronger person..........just being able to withstand the challanges is tough. Both parents really loose as the lawyers are the ones who win, and that is not a crack on lawyers, just the truth. But the children are the ones that really suffer. They are disrupted from there home and dragged from place to place and they do not know what to think. At times I hear the children take it personally and feel like it is there fault. And that is not the case. Me and my wife have always talked about this and agreed the children suffer in a divorce. And now she puts them through it. I don't understand. If she is unhappy fine. But don't put the kids through any more than necessary. I think most couples that remarry often want children of their own. But right now I'm not willing to take a chance of this happening again. My concern right now is to finish raising my children in the best way I can and hope they have no lasting effects from the damage that is being done. But this will definately make you wiser. I'm not going to continue to wonder what went wrong as I feel I did the best I could.


----------



## naturaltan (Aug 3, 2004)

You are dead on DG.  It's all about the kids.  You seem to be doing whatever you can to ensure that the least amount of stress is put on them.


----------



## ZECH (Aug 3, 2004)

I'm trying. But it's tough, especially when my wife is trying with her lawyer to do other things.


----------



## Damien (Aug 3, 2004)

*Kids & Divorce*

Hey DG ...... although I can't relate to everything you have described, I can come pretty close. My wife and I went our separate ways after 19 years. At the time my son was 13 and my daughter 15. I live in Arizona, and as such they do give the men there due. If there isn't a reason a man shouldn't have joint custody, then the court will usually award it.

As for your ex planning all of this stuff. If you can show a pattern prior to her walking out, you can hold her liable for her depleting your accounts, not paying the bills and even cashing in her 401K. The court does not take too kindly to that kind of stuff. 

Also, in our situation, I read everything I could, and gained as much knowledge as possible on the subject. It put me back in a position of control, instead of being in reactionary mode. This in itself was very satisfying.

One last thing. My ex also tried to use the kids against me at times. I just kept telling myslef that no matter how much she is pissing me off, it is not worth using the kids as pawns. I am here to tell you that it paid off, and over time the kids saw the difference.

Good luck and keep focused on your kids. No matter what else happens, they are every reason to prevail !!!!


----------



## ZECH (Aug 4, 2004)

Well I have no doubts that this was planned for a long time. At least back to early last summer when she put her 401k in a local bank fund. But proving it will be hard.
Found out yesteday from my brother in Oklahoma, that she had called the night before and talked to his wife. She must have a new job and got a $2000 sign on bonus and she said she intended on selling her Explorer which my name is on the title for a car that gets better gas milage. She would not speak to me last night when the kids called, but I called and left a message saying she could not sell it without me signing for the title and that if she did, I wanted half of the money as I paid about 5k for her down payment. Also, I had been after her for almost two weeks to bring the kids last night to the school for open house so the kids could meet their teacher and find their classroom. Of course she did not, but she allowed her sister in law to pick them up at daycare and take them to the school. Not only did she not want to show her face, she did not allow me as the father to do it. That pissed me off bigtime. But I have already sent my lawyer a fax this morning to keep on file to use in court to show as her unwillingness to work with me and put undue stress on the kids.


----------



## I'm Trying (Aug 4, 2004)

Sorry, I can't remember reading it anywhere but has the divorce been filled yet?? If not file first!!


----------



## ZECH (Aug 4, 2004)

no, we have only been seperated for a little over a month. Seems like forever though with her crap. Wish I could go ahead and file.


----------



## ZECH (Aug 5, 2004)

Did you know it states in the bible that man must brew the coffee in the morning?
It does..................."HEBREWS".


----------



## ZECH (Aug 5, 2004)

Just trying to get a sense of humor back in my life. Haven't had that much lately.


----------



## naturaltan (Aug 5, 2004)

I'm going to give you that one seeing as how you're overcoming a rough time ... :yikes:


----------



## ZECH (Aug 5, 2004)

ok heres a better one NT.................

Little Billy was outside playing at lunch when his father came home for lunch to see billy's mom. He asked her where Billy was and she said outside playing. So they both stripped off all their clothes and got into bed and started to pump and sweat! Well it wasn't but a few minutes that Billy came in and saw them. Well not wanting to admit to anything they were doing was wrong, they kept at it. After about a minute Billy asked his dad if he could get on top for a cowboy ride. Well mom and dad agreed. Well it wasn't long that mom started to moan and arch her back and get wild. Billy yelled "Hold on dad, this is where me and the mailman usually get thrown off!"


----------



## PreMier (Aug 5, 2004)

Holy shit! 




Ironic?


----------



## Monolith (Aug 5, 2004)

dg806 said:
			
		

> ok heres a better one NT.................
> 
> Little Billy was outside playing at lunch when his father came home for lunch to see billy's mom. He asked her where Billy was and she said outside playing. So they both stripped off all their clothes and got into bed and started to pump and sweat! Well it wasn't but a few minutes that Billy came in and saw them. Well not wanting to admit to anything they were doing was wrong, they kept at it. After about a minute Billy asked his dad if he could get on top for a cowboy ride. Well mom and dad agreed. Well it wasn't long that mom started to moan and arch her back and get wild. Billy yelled "Hold on dad, this is where me and the mailman usually get thrown off!"


 

 Any chance you can get down to Vegas this year?  That'd definitely cheer you up.


----------



## ZECH (Aug 6, 2004)

Monolith said:
			
		

> Any chance you can get down to Vegas this year?  That'd definitely cheer you up.


Hmmmmmmmmmm? That depends on Albob!


----------



## fantasma62 (Aug 6, 2004)

Man, if you can head to Vegas.....I love Vegas.

I live in Miami but I make the trek to Vegas at least once every couple of years.
You'll definitely chill there...unless you've already been there, in which case


----------



## ZECH (Aug 11, 2004)

I forgot to mention that I went backpacking last weekend! It was 40 Degrees Friday night and Saturday was awesome with a beautiful sunset. I really needed the time by myself. It was one of the best weekends in a looooong time! The weather was awesome! And the blueberries were ripe  I bet I ate 2 gallons


----------



## Monolith (Aug 11, 2004)

Nice!  I love to go camping/hiking.  Almost never get a chance to do it, though.


----------



## JerseyDevil (Aug 11, 2004)

dg806 said:
			
		

> Little Billy was outside playing at lunch when his father came home for lunch to see billy's mom. He asked her where Billy was and she said outside playing. So they both stripped off all their clothes and got into bed and started to pump and sweat! Well it wasn't but a few minutes that Billy came in and saw them. Well not wanting to admit to anything they were doing was wrong, they kept at it. After about a minute Billy asked his dad if he could get on top for a cowboy ride. Well mom and dad agreed. Well it wasn't long that mom started to moan and arch her back and get wild. Billy yelled "Hold on dad, this is where me and the mailman usually get thrown off!"


That was good!


----------



## JerseyDevil (Aug 11, 2004)

dg806 said:
			
		

> I forgot to mention that I went backpacking last weekend! It was 40 Degrees Friday night and Saturday was awesome with a beautiful sunset. I really needed the time by myself. It was one of the best weekends in a looooong time! The weather was awesome! And the blueberries were ripe  I bet I ate 2 gallons


Sounds like it was exactly what you needed  .


----------



## ZECH (Aug 11, 2004)

JerseyDevil said:
			
		

> Sounds like it was exactly what you needed  .



Well not exactly what I needed but close 
I could have used a LLBBN!


----------



## ZECH (Aug 25, 2004)

For once, I'm not stressed out today. I'm listening to some Kenny G..................
Wish I wasn't at work though. I would love to be camping somewhere!


----------



## ZECH (Aug 25, 2004)

oh..................I learned to play "Taps" on my Harmonica.


----------



## Jodi (Aug 25, 2004)

dg806 said:
			
		

> For once, I'm not stressed out today. I'm listening to some Kenny G..................
> Wish I wasn't at work though. I would love to be camping somewhere!


Glad to hear   Are you taking anything additional vits for stress?


----------



## ZECH (Aug 25, 2004)

Nah...............I usually do good with stress anyway. I'm the type that can let something go in one ear and out the other. I usually don't worry about anything, and that always bugged my wife.......lol. And she is even being nicer lately. She must want something? We do have a mediation meeting Sept 2. She must be planning on asking for something? (Mediation is required by NC law for purposes of trying to work out child custody before it goes to court)


----------



## Jodi (Aug 25, 2004)

Lucky you.  When I'm stressed I blow up and have a very short temper 

I hope the mediation works out.  That would be better than having this go on longer than necessary for the kids sake.


----------



## fantasma62 (Aug 25, 2004)

dg806 said:
			
		

> I forgot to mention that I went backpacking last weekend! It was 40 Degrees Friday night and Saturday was awesome with a beautiful sunset. I really needed the time by myself. It was one of the best weekends in a looooong time! The weather was awesome! And the blueberries were ripe  I bet I ate 2 gallons


Hey Dg, is so good to hear you sound so happy.  It must have been a blessing.
In Miami, our beatiful mountains are called buildings


----------



## MTN WARRIOR (Aug 25, 2004)

Well, you know what they say.  Women, cant live with 'em, cant bury out back without a bag of lime and alot of water!!


----------



## bludevil (Aug 25, 2004)

Just found this journal. DG, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your kids. I couldn't imagine my wife pulling that crap on me. From your words, you are definately the bigger person in the relationship. Overtime your kids will be very apprecialble of your actions and putting them first. In the long run your wife will get what she deserves (children not respecting her).

By the way, I live in NC also, just went skiing at Badin Lake 2 weeks ago.


----------



## ZECH (Aug 25, 2004)

bludevil said:
			
		

> Just found this journal. DG, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your kids. I couldn't imagine my wife pulling that crap on me. From your words, you are definately the bigger person in the relationship. Overtime your kids will be very apprecialble of your actions and putting them first. In the long run your wife will get what she deserves (children not respecting her).
> 
> By the way, I live in NC also, just went skiing at Badin Lake 2 weeks ago.


Cool! I call it Little Mexico now!


----------



## bludevil (Aug 30, 2004)

So how's it been going lately. Ex still being civil?


----------



## Sapphire (Sep 11, 2004)

Hey Dave!

I JUST saw this thread... I know I spoke to you about this already, but again I want to say I am very sorry for your pain.  What your wife did to you was unforgivable.. not knowing where your children were for a week is no short of torture.

Be strong Hun...  you know, I honestly believe in the end you will be better off.  I will pray you get your babies!!  

Cyndi


----------



## fantasma62 (Sep 15, 2004)

Hey dg,


Just passing by to see how everything was going.  I hope that this gets resolved quickly for you and painlessly for the kids....

take care...


----------



## ZECH (Sep 23, 2004)

Haven't updated this lately so I thought I would..........
We did have a mediation meeting on Sept. 2. We couldn't agree on anything at that point so we have another meeting scheduled for Sept. 30. If we don't agree on anything then, it goes to court for a judge to decide. I told her I hope we could agree on something instead of a judge deciding for us and neither one really like it. We really haven't spoken the past month or so. So I'll see what happens. It's going to get to a point though that we both have to give and take. Ex.......Matthew just joined Cub Scouts and he has a meeting tonight @6:30 and I'm suppose to take them back @7:00. I'm going to take them back after the meeting. Then they are suppose to go camping this Saturday and she will have them and I need Matt to take him. And Maddison will need to stay with her until I get back with Matt Sunday. And then she is wanting Maddison for several nights for the upcoming Miss Stanly County practice for the pagent Oct. 2. So this is getting complicated. I'm willing to give if she is if it benefits the kids. I know she doesn't want to see me and vice versa, but weather we like it or not, it's gonna be necessary for us to remain civil and work this out best as can be.


----------



## naturaltan (Sep 23, 2004)

The both of you have to be civil to one another around the kids.  Just keep reminding yourself of that ... it's all about the kids now.  My suggestion would be not to say anything.  Just pick the kids up and drop them off ... letting them know that you love them and they can call you anytime.


----------



## Saturday Fever (Sep 23, 2004)

^^ Golden advice, that.


----------



## fantasma62 (Sep 23, 2004)

Man dg,

I was hoping that things were somehow working themselves out.
It's not as easy for both parents to be civil about it at the same time.  I believe that dg has been trying to be civil about things, but his ex is simply obstinate about things in the "I am going to screw you over" mode that she is employing now.
I figure that if he is able to keep his sanity (and dg, I pray you do), he'll be the better person in front of the kids.  No, that doesn't solve anything, but at least it gives him a peace of mind that his kids will know that their dad is doing the best he can under the situation and tried to do his best so that there would be no permanent damage.
dg. again, I feel badly for you, and the most I can hope for you is that you remain strong and driven.


----------



## ZECH (Sep 24, 2004)

naturaltan said:
			
		

> The both of you have to be civil to one another around the kids.  Just keep reminding yourself of that ... it's all about the kids now.  My suggestion would be not to say anything.  Just pick the kids up and drop them off ... letting them know that you love them and they can call you anytime.


Basically that is what has been going on.
Fanta, no use to feel sorry for me. Even though this situation sucks, I could be a lot worse off. I always try to be positive about things. Actually I like it this way now. Sure there are some things I miss, but alot I don't.
She is letting me have Matt tonight so we can go camping tomorrow. He is looking forward to it.


----------



## ZECH (Jan 1, 2006)

Heres looking to 2006 and seeing that it is alot better than 2005!!


----------



## BoneCrusher (Jan 1, 2006)

Ahhhhhhhmen to that brother.


----------



## P-funk (Jan 2, 2006)

I don't understand why people insist on bumping these old ass threads.


----------



## ZECH (Jan 2, 2006)

P-funk said:
			
		

> I don't understand why people insist on bumping these old ass threads.


----------



## ZECH (Jan 2, 2006)

When you can't find the light, that guides you through a cloudy day, when the stars ain't shining bright, you feel like you lost your way, when the candle that is home burns so very far away, you got to let your soulshine, it's better than sunshine and damn sure better than rain!


----------



## ZECH (Jan 3, 2006)

Had the day off yestersday and you would know it was rainy and messy all day. Slept till 10, got up for two hours and went back to bed and slept till 3. Now today the sun is out. At least I got my Christmas decorations put back up yesterday and the house clean. 
3 days and no word. Working on 4.


----------



## ZECH (Jan 4, 2006)

Didn't sleep very much last night. Got up at 3:15 for awhile.
Women.............sheesh!


----------



## ZECH (Jan 5, 2006)

I thought I had seen about everything in life. But boy have I learned a good lesson this past week. Evidently all NJ girls are at the bottom of the foodchain! I can't believe a woman could be so cold.


----------



## PreMier (Jan 10, 2006)

I had an interesting experience with a woman recently(35).  She had more underlying issues that the ocean has sunken ships in it.


----------



## oaktownboy (Jan 10, 2006)

how young are your kids Dg, if u don't mind me asking?


----------



## ZECH (Jan 10, 2006)

8 and 10


----------



## Dale Mabry (Jan 10, 2006)

dg806 said:
			
		

> When you can't find the light, that guides you through a cloudy day, when the stars ain't shining bright, you feel like you lost your way, when the candle that is home burns so very far away, you got to let your soulshine, it's better than sunshine and damn sure better than rain!



I have the most amazing live acoustic version of this song with Warren Haynes and Tim Reynolds.


----------



## ZECH (Jan 11, 2006)

Dale Mabry said:
			
		

> I have the most amazing live acoustic version of this song with Warren Haynes and Tim Reynolds.


You know the song?? Cool!


----------



## Dale Mabry (Jan 11, 2006)

Of course I do, the Allman's have some good stuff.  Jessica is my personal fave.


----------



## ZECH (Jan 11, 2006)

If I didn't know better, I would think you are a southeren boy!


----------



## Dale Mabry (Jan 11, 2006)

No, but I like Southern Rock, my brother used to play it all the time.  My home town was a little rednecky too, our senior song was FreeBird.


----------



## ZECH (Jan 19, 2006)

This is a post of mine from the second page of this thread. Funny how I still feel this way, but now it is geared toward another person. Things just don't seem to be working like I want.

"I don't even know at this point if I will ever be able to trust another female. I think I'm gonna call Spanky and join the Weman women haters club!"


----------



## ZECH (Jan 24, 2006)

Things are looking up


----------



## oaktownboy (Jan 24, 2006)

You probably don't need reminding, but whatever you feel towards your wife and women in general cannot compare with what your kids are probably going through. From first hand experience, I know what you are going through..little depression,helplessness, anger, never wanting to trust a woman for the rest of ur life. But you andyour wife will have to coexist if you wnt your children to have a semblance of a normal life. hang in there buddy


----------



## ZECH (Jan 25, 2006)

Well one good thing is I never have to speak to my ex-wife now unless something is wrong with the kids or they need something. I pick them up from afterschool care and I either drop them off or she picks them up. No words exchanged. I can't tell you how nice that is. I do think the new girl I'm talking to has potential. We have alot in common and she seems sweet. The only thing is she lives in NJ. We are talking about meeting next month. We have been talking since right before Thanksgiving. I hope we click.


----------



## oaktownboy (Jan 25, 2006)

good luck bruh..get back on that train


----------

