# Dear Diarrhea.......er......Diary



## MaxMirkin (Aug 3, 2004)

Hmmmmmmm...................

What do I put now? 

Oh right!  I should explain what I'll be writing down in this journal.......but if it's my journal that I am writing to me, why should I explain anything?  Screw you, self, I don't owe you any explanations! 


Damn, already getting side tracked.........wtf was i talking about  

Riiiiiight, this thing.  'kay, guess I'll just post random thoughts here.  Maybe I should put down some of my workouts?  Naaaah, no need to create any more humor at my expense. 

Thus concludes my first diary entry ever. (And I only feel _slightly_ more gay then when I started.  )


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 3, 2004)

Entry #2:
Dear Diary, today I got my first period.........I mean NO!
That was wrong.  This place is evil.


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## Var (Aug 3, 2004)

I can tell I'm gonna look forward to reading this one every day!  Good luck!


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## kvyd (Aug 3, 2004)

This is going to be one im gonna stay "on top of".


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 3, 2004)

Var said:
			
		

> I can tell I'm gonna look forward to reading this one every day!  Good luck!


Why are people writing things in my diary?   Is nothing sacred anymore? 

Oh well 

Hey Var, how's it hanging?  

Not sure what I'll be doing with this journal yet, so for now it exists to amuse/annoy.  

Maybe I'll post a few workouts. Don't be surprised if you find yourself impressed by my results. (They'll be stolen from other people's journals, and I have no intention of ever actually doing them.)  I may sound like I don't know shit, but.................................................I thought I had a point here somewhere.


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## Var (Aug 3, 2004)

When we Post Whores see a journal such as this, we feel compelled to post constant irrelevent shit in it!


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 3, 2004)

kvyd said:
			
		

> This is going to be one im gonna stay "on top of".


Don't leave stains on my diary.


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## Var (Aug 3, 2004)

I thought only little girls had diaries???


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 3, 2004)

Entry #Z:
I think the computer is beginning to stare back.
I must get out of the software business.  Anybody need a lifestyle coach?  I can teach "Drunk & Lazy" - have a masters in it.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 3, 2004)

I thought only I had little girls???


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## Var (Aug 3, 2004)




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## MaxMirkin (Aug 3, 2004)

Damn it Var, don't judge!


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## Var (Aug 3, 2004)

Sorry man.  What u do is totally your business.  I was just suprised to learn that youre straight.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 3, 2004)

Entry #7
Leaving in 15 min, gonna pick up my baby & see The Village.  Hope its better then Shamalyan's last two turds.  That movie w/ Mel Gibson humping ailiens in a cornfield was a truly putrid piece of shit.

This was a very important entry.


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## Var (Aug 3, 2004)




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## MaxMirkin (Aug 3, 2004)

Var said:
			
		

> Sorry man.  What u do is totally your business.  I was just suprised to learn that youre straight.


 
Good one...........fuker!!!


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 4, 2004)

Entry #3.1

I missed my workout yesterday because of that stupid movie! 

Actually it wasn't that bad, but now my workout schedule will have to be rearranged.  Crap. Maybe I'll do hair day with groin day...............nah, I'll just skip ear day this week.  They're big enough as is. 

At least the movie was better then the last two, although that's not exactly hard to accomplish.  And it was totally devoid of any scariness.  The last good horror flick I saw was The Ring.  Now that shit had some nice scenes. 

On a bright note, I think this stupid machine finally stopped giving me the evil eye. (Although it still snickers occasionally, when I turn my back.   )


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 4, 2004)

Entry #whatever

Sushi lunch today!  Salmon California rolls......... 

I love Japanese food made by Mexicans!  Or Mexican food made by Chinese!  They just can't seem to line up employees w/their country's food.  Must be one of those mysteries of life. 

*Homo Update - * After several posts in this diary, I feel a full 3% gayer.  (Which still leaves me a good 97% behind Var.........I mean below Var.........I mean, Damn it!!!!)


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## kvyd (Aug 4, 2004)

Dude all my friends said the village just sucked.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 4, 2004)

It was so-so, imo.  The dialogue got stupid at times.  Still a major improvement on _Signs_.


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## Var (Aug 4, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> *Homo Update - * After several posts in this diary, I feel a full 3% gayer.  (Which still leaves me a good 97% behind Var.........I mean below Var.........I mean, Damn it!!!!)



Seeing as this journal is so popular, I'd say you're _at least_ 12.5% gayer.  At this rate, you'll pass by me really fast!   

Hmmm...I bet I'll be the first man you've passed without staying the night in a long time.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 4, 2004)

Dude, I can no more pass you (in that department) then the Red Sox can ever pass the Yankees.  (In the standings.)


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## Var (Aug 4, 2004)

I BELIEVE in my Red Sox!!!


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 4, 2004)

They're not *your* Red Sox.  First move to MA then you can talk of team ownership. 

Doesn't Rhode Island have a team you can follow?  You're almost like a real state now, time to get a team.


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## Var (Aug 4, 2004)

Actually, the Red Sox minor league team is right here in RI.  I'm 45 minutes from Boston.  About 5 minutes from the MA line.  RI's sports teams are the New England teams.  For the geographically challenged (such as yourself), that means The Patriots, Red Sox, & Bruins.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 4, 2004)

Sure, sure.  "New England" is just a fancy way of saying MA.  
While "Rhode Island" is just a fancy way of saying "I'm lost".  

P.S. You're not really an island.  How's that for _geographically challenged_.


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## kvyd (Aug 4, 2004)

Var said:
			
		

> Seeing as this journal is so popular, I'd say you're _at least_ 12.5% gayer.  At this rate, you'll pass by me really fast!
> 
> Hmmm...I bet I'll be the first man you've passed without staying the night in a long time.




It seems to me this journal is only being whored up by Var and myself....I wouldnt call it popular.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 4, 2004)

kvyd said:
			
		

> It seems to me this journal is only being whored up by Var and myself....I wouldnt call it popular.


Funny, I don't recall inviting any man-whores.  Now, if some ladies want to whore it up in here...........well at least that would guarantee that you two would lose interest.


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## kvyd (Aug 4, 2004)

We are so Whorny we dont need invitations.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 4, 2004)

Maybe I should just leave you two alone in here.  Just don't let Var take advantage of you.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 4, 2004)

Entry #......

Today is shoulder day. 
Guess I'll start w/ 3 sets of military presses
then 3 sets of seated rear delt raises
& conclude w/ 3 sets of shrugs.

Then 3 sets of 1-foot calf raises & 3 more of reverse calf raises. 

If I live through all that, I'll do some ab work too.


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## kvyd (Aug 4, 2004)

Dont hurt yourself Arnold.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 4, 2004)

Arnold can kiss my ass!  At least I can pronounce "California".


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## Var (Aug 4, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Entry #......
> 
> Today is shoulder day.
> Guess I'll start w/ 3 sets of military presses
> ...



Might be time to take the skirt off and put your big boy pants on!


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 4, 2004)

Var said:
			
		

> Might be time to take the skirt off and put your big boy pants on!


Gee, you must be a breath of fresh air for that poor sucke.....I mean client at 6am.  Imagine having to face this sort of abuse (as if the sight of Var wasn't abusive enough) that early in the morning.  And they *pay* for this previlige?


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## Var (Aug 4, 2004)

Just playin', Max.  Dont get your panties ruffled.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 4, 2004)

Var said:
			
		

> Just playin', Max.  Dont get your panties ruffled.


.............leave my panties out of this............as a trainer you're a CVS employee.


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## Var (Aug 4, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> as a trainer you're a CVS employee.



I have no idea what that means?


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 4, 2004)

Me neither.


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## Var (Aug 4, 2004)

Hmmm...I work for CVS...and I'm a Personal Trainer...still dont get your point.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 4, 2004)

It's a saying. (One I managed to thoroughly fuck up.) Translation - don't quit your night job.


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## Var (Aug 4, 2004)

Gotcha!  Thought for a second that youre someone I know and just fucking with me.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 4, 2004)

I knew you were a CVS employee.  You mentioned it (and we all laughed about the fact) on some other thread.  It just stuck with me because so few people would admit something so embaressing.


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## Var (Aug 4, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> I knew you were a CVS employee.  You mentioned it (and we all laughed about the fact) on some other thread.  It just stuck with me because so few people would admit something so embaressing.



I dont work in a store, dumbass!


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 4, 2004)

Anyway, I'm just kidding around.  Good luck with the whole training bit. 
Give them hell.


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## Var (Aug 4, 2004)

Fuck you asshole!


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## Var (Aug 4, 2004)




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## MaxMirkin (Aug 4, 2004)

Var said:
			
		

> I dont work in a store, dumbass!


I know, that kind of work has at least *some* redeeming qualities.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 4, 2004)

Anyway, I'm out!  Catch ya later.


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## Var (Aug 4, 2004)

Later bro!


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 5, 2004)

Entry #sad 

Today is truly a dark day in Diarrhea land.  For today (thanks to those fuckers who call themselves my downstairs neighbors) I will be joining a gym.  You might ask, "what's so sad about that?"  Well, fuck you for asking such a private question!  

The sad part is that the only gym near me is a Ba.......Bal......*sob*.....Ballys!!!
I should probably just show up with lubricant in hand.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 5, 2004)

The alternative was Lucille Roberts, but they were very rude.  Not only was I not allowed to join, but I was to leave immediately & not touch anybody else on the way out.


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## Var (Aug 5, 2004)




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## MaxMirkin (Aug 5, 2004)

Sure, laugh away at my misery.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 5, 2004)

Today is leg day, so I'll start with........hard liquor.

Followed by:
Squats - 3 sets
SLDL - 3 more
Lunges (blah  ) - 3

Followed by - extremely funny looks from people who see me walk.


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## Var (Aug 5, 2004)

Love the details.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 5, 2004)

Crap, I'm hearing nothing but horror stories about Ballys.  Fuck fuck Fuck!!! Just what I need now. 

Maybe I should just join the local Y........


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## Var (Aug 5, 2004)

I worked out at a Y for years.  I'd take that over Bally's if the Y's gym is decent enough.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 5, 2004)

Really?  Cool, I'll go take a look there today.  I'll also check out a Gold's gym that's a bit further away.


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## tucker01 (Aug 5, 2004)

FAGS..... All of ya! 

Man if you read this journal, you would instantly think queer, with all the bickering. 

Lets go workout at Bally's


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## Var (Aug 5, 2004)

Funny that you were drawn to such a faggy thread, Iain.  Something u want to tell us?  We wont judge.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 6, 2004)

Aren't Canadians fags by default.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 6, 2004)

I'm joining Gold's gym!!! It's a bit out of the way, but fuck it!  At least I'm not going to Balys. (It's filled with too many "Iain" types. Not that there's anything wrong with that.  )

I'm signing up for 6 months, today.  Would sign up for more, but am moving around that time. 

That means no more gay-ass home workouts on my non-existing equipment!  And those fucking neighbors will finally shut up (at least about that).  

*Homo update -* Making so many posts here has taken it's toll.  Gayness up by a good 4%.  On the other hand, joining Gold's gym has qualified me for a 10% reduction! So the net total = -3% gay!!! (Or about 300% beneath the "Iain Threshold"   ).


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## tucker01 (Aug 6, 2004)

So I am not really gay at all   according to your math. And WTF you doing beneath me 

But I am still suspect about Var

At least you found a real gym.  I would never be found dead in Bally's


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 6, 2004)

Ballys was just really, really close 

And we're all suspect about Var.


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## tucker01 (Aug 6, 2004)

does that mean you live in a Gay district?


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 6, 2004)

Yes.......Brooklyn. 

 I forget that you're from Canada (that's a complement  ) you probably have no idea what Brooklyn is.


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## tucker01 (Aug 6, 2004)

Hey I am just impressed as an american you haven't said Hey I know somebody in Canada, his/her name is Whatever?  Do you know them


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 6, 2004)

How can you know anybody, when you're all living in what's pretty much one, huge wilderness.  Plus half of you are Frenchy wannabes, bow your head in shame!


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 6, 2004)

But it's all good, cause you got those hot dogs....


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## tucker01 (Aug 6, 2004)

And Beer.   Don't forget the Beer.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 6, 2004)

I'm a Heineken man.


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## tucker01 (Aug 6, 2004)

That's alright That and Corona is all I drink


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 6, 2004)

What, no Molsen?


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## tucker01 (Aug 6, 2004)

Nah, only on ocassion from draft.  There are better brewers.

But Hieneken and Corona


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## tucker01 (Aug 6, 2004)

What you don't drink Sam Adams?


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 6, 2004)

I second that.


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## tucker01 (Aug 6, 2004)

I don't know all american beers I have tried either taste really watery a la bud, or like shit a la sam adams


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## Var (Aug 6, 2004)

I've said it before, I'll say it again...All Canada is good for is beer and strippers.  

I had a beer up there one time that I NEED to bring back with me next time.  Something like La Mode Da "something".  Fuckin frenchy wanna-be's make some potent beer.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 6, 2004)

I still think best beer is European.  Though I hardly tried any Canadian ones. 
I'm more of a Vodka drinker anyway.  Beer is just an appetizer.


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## tucker01 (Aug 6, 2004)

La fin du monde - the end of the world. 

9% alcohol.


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## tucker01 (Aug 6, 2004)

Crown Royal and Ginger :yummy:


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## Var (Aug 6, 2004)

IainDaniel said:
			
		

> La fin du monde - the end of the world.
> 
> 9% alcohol.



Thats it!  Thats it!!!     I need more of that stuff!!!


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 6, 2004)

Winos.


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## Var (Aug 6, 2004)




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## MaxMirkin (Aug 6, 2004)

Another 40 minutes and I'm out of here.....and straight into my new gym!!!!!  I'm actually excited about that........wonder if I'm coming down with something.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 6, 2004)

I haven't annoyed anyone with my poetry, lately.  That must be corrected....


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 6, 2004)

*Birdie*

A man was walking down the stairs,
Not knowing or suspecting,
An evil culprit, in the air,
Was harm, his way, directing.

The rat with wings took deadly aim,
It's fearsome cannon steady,
God, how it loved to play this game,
With amo wet and ready.

If it had lips, the bird would smile,
It's mighty missile fired,
With one last squawk, for added style,
It happily retired.

The lesson taught us by the dove,
One you'll absorb, I'm hoping,
No matter what you hear above,
Don't look with mouth wide open.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 6, 2004)

And here's one from my tragic childhood........


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 6, 2004)

*A Relative Visit*

Oh joy! Good morning, five A.M.,
Must head out early to see "them".
Those bastards live cross six state lines,
We pay two thousand in fines.

This two-hour trip is two days long,
My will and bladder aren't that strong.
Dad's going twenty, being daring,
The sounds of Russian music, blaring.

We finally get to uncle's house,
It's old and ugly, like his spouse.
We get inside, I'm soon surrounded,
By drunk, old men, beer-bellies rounded.

My faggot cousin's wearing tights,
Found out the hard way, their dog bites!
A billion questions thrown my way,
It'll never end, this hellish day!

My prayers to Lord Satan are answered, at last,
When two-ton aunt Berta falls clutching her chest.
The sonic-boom follows as the gound meets her back,
Nothing breaks up a party like a good heart-attack!


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 6, 2004)

*Autumn*

Translucent light that permiates the sky,
It lacks in substance but makes up in style,
Such fragile feelings on this brightness die,
They crash on winds without inherent guile,
In seeking and in finding they will burn,
Forever after, the enchantment shall be shattered,
And in this forlorn gale the ashes turn,
With summer's final gasps, on lost love's door they batter.


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## Var (Aug 6, 2004)

You're actually good!


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## myCATpowerlifts (Aug 6, 2004)

hey max, just droppin in to see how that diarrhea is coming along

ttyl man


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## myCATpowerlifts (Aug 6, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> *Autumn*
> 
> Translucent light that permiates the sky,
> It lacks in substance but makes up in style,
> ...




My brother's poems have been printed in pretty well known poetry books

I cant make poems though
cuz if it doesnt sound just like i want it too, i spend hours on it and eventually get burned out and pissed off


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 9, 2004)

myCATpowerlifts said:
			
		

> hey max, just droppin in to see how that diarrhea is coming along
> 
> ttyl man


Welcome my friend to Diarrhea Land, the shittiest place in IM.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 9, 2004)

myCATpowerlifts said:
			
		

> My brother's poems have been printed in pretty well known poetry books
> 
> I cant make poems though
> cuz if it doesnt sound just like i want it too, i spend hours on it and eventually get burned out and pissed off


I don't know man, I've never found them to be too tough. Maybe you're too much of a perfectionist?  

I usually just think of a topic I want to abuse, and then come up with some words that rhyme.   

It also helps if I'm bored and/or pissed and/or depressed. (The best ones come out when it's all three.)  I've been pretty happy lately, so the poems have become somewhat rare.     Besides, now when I'm bored at work (every day) I just whore it up in here.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 9, 2004)

Entry #fucking happy!

My new gym kicks ass!!!  It's like a million times better then working out at home.  I went friday & saturday, and it was awesome.  I actually missed it on Sunday (rest day).  

It's great.  Very relaxed atmosphere, not crowded, no annoyingly pushy trainers (read: Var  ). 

The lockeroom is a bit nasty, but what's a little (well, not so little) pubic hair, on gum stuck to inside of lockers, between friends?  (They'll get used to it..... )

The best part (besides all the cool, shiny, new equipment for me to play with) is there's no interruptions from annoying family and retarded neighbors!!!!  (They were never thrilled with the negative portion of my deadlift, and the minor dents it caused in their ceiling.  )


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 9, 2004)

This one is a bit angry & offensive (& retarded, but what do you want I wasn't exactly........clear-headed for most of the 8 years I spent pursuing a bachelors degree  )  

*Disclaimer:* I am NOT the guy in the poem.

Without further ado............


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 9, 2004)

.............Wait for it.................


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 9, 2004)

............Almost there.................


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 9, 2004)

....................What was I doing?.....................


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 9, 2004)

...................Oh, right!   The poem:


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 9, 2004)

*Mind & Body*

Why is this girl so god-damn confusing,
She wants what I want, yet she keeps on refusing.
She cooly rejects my most earnest advances,
Though I know that inside her heart's doing dances.

She wants me, that much I can read in her eyes,
And yet, once again, all she says is good bye.
I ask her politely, I ask with some class,
But, her answers imply that I must be an ass.

I've finally reached my emotional limit,
The bitch must now pay, she can keep her damn spirit.
She screams and she pleads, but she knows it's too late,
Her mouth I will shut, for its now time to mate.

I rip off her clothes, and force her to kneel,
The whore fucked with my mind, now I'll fuck her for real.
It doesn't last long, but she'll remember forever,
Next time she'll behave in a more pleasing manner.


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## kvyd (Aug 9, 2004)

good one.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 9, 2004)

thanx     
It's inspired by.............alcohol


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 9, 2004)

*Seven*

Seven candles burning brightly,
Seven mothers will soon weep,
Seven lifes are taken lightly,
Seven bodies burried deep.

Seven souls which I've extinguished,
Seven screams that were not heard,
Seven futures were relinquished,
Seven hearts from which blood poured.

Seven times that I have had to,
Seven days I've felt the hate,
Never speak of what I tell you,
Or I'll make you number eight.


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## myCATpowerlifts (Aug 9, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> *Mind & Body*
> 
> Why is this girl so god-damn confusing,
> She wants what I want, yet she keeps on refusing.
> ...



LOL, poor j'bo


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## myCATpowerlifts (Aug 9, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> *Seven*
> 
> Seven candles burning brightly,
> Seven mothers will soon weep,
> ...


nice


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 10, 2004)

Thanks.  I wrote that one for my girl on Valentine's day.


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## kvyd (Aug 10, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Thanks.  I wrote that one for my girl on Valentine's day.




Dude I thought Var and myself came to the conclusion that you are..... gay.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 10, 2004)

kvyd said:
			
		

> Var and myself came


How nice for both of you.  While i don't usually approve of such a lifestyle, in your case I don't really see any alternative.  Just promise, when the time comes, that you'll invite me to your civil union.  

P.S. Remember kvyd, Var may have the physique of a little girl right now but he'll try to bulk up eventually and then he might want to be the "man" in your relationship.


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## kvyd (Aug 10, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> I may like Vars physique because it reminds me of a little girl but im hoping he bulks up so he can dominate me.




Mans that kinda weird.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 10, 2004)

And yet you find it hot, don't ya?





>


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## Var (Aug 10, 2004)

Sick fuckers.  May have to have Prince compare Max and Asspirates IP's, too.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 10, 2004)

Hey, you're the one whose all hung up on this Asspirate guy.  How do we know it's not really you?  

Sure, sure. You just happen to be the one who "uncovers" his big secret.  Very convenient.........


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## Var (Aug 10, 2004)

I think he's funny and very intelligent, even though he makes himself seem like a moron.  As far as me being Asspirate, feel free to have a mod check it out.  Funk could probably do it.  I only have one screenname.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 10, 2004)

I don't really think you're asspirate. 

As for him being intelligent, the jury is still out on that one.


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## Var (Aug 10, 2004)

I think you two have similar senses of humor, he just takes it to extremes.  If he tones it down, he'll be cool to have around here.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 10, 2004)

Quit insulting me, you bastard.    

From looking at his posts, I don't really think we have similar senses of humor (maybe topic-wise, but definitely not in delivery). Though I agree that he's fun to have around.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 11, 2004)

Entry #diez

Yesterday I had a great workout!  I tried out this new exercise, and boy is it a killer. Not sure what the technical name for it is, but I'll give a brief description and maybe somebody will be able to help me out.  


*1.* It starts off with the subject (he shall remain nameless) picking up two dumbbells & getting set to do shoulder presses.  

This next step is crucial!  

*2.* With the dumbbells on the way up, the subject *must* get distracted by a hot chick doing some kind of weird, ass movements in the yoga class next door.

*3.* If done correctly, the timing of hot-chick ass and the upward dumbbell movement, will cause the subject to drop (at least)one of the dumbbells on the foot of the monstrous gorilla doing incline building presses, next to him.

*4.* Subject must notice nothing, for the hot chick has begun to massage the floor with her groin.

*5.* Subject hears an animal-like grunt to the side not facing the hot chick groin acrobatics.

This is the step that most often leads to injury, if not done exactly right!

*6.* Subject *must not* take the time to turn around, for that way will surely lead to severe head trauma (and many other broken-off parts the subject would probably prefer to keep attached). Subject must run!!!! Preferably, throwing the other dumbbell (if not already used in step #3) blindly behind him in hopes of slowing down the pursuit.

*7.* Subject must continue running for dear life until the gym staff stops hitting on the janitorial staff and actually bothers to pay attention (this takes anywhere from half an hour to a fuckin' eternity  ).

*8.* Once the incompetent staff actually manages to calm the gorilla down, the subject is free to collapse into a quivering pile and have that nice, relaxing heart attack that he's been holding off all this time.

And Done!


It was supposed to be shoulder day, but turned into leg day real quick.  I'm thinking of implementing it every wendesday, from now on.  (Although in the future, I will be bringing a gun in case I wish to terminate the exercise a bit earlier.)


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## tucker01 (Aug 11, 2004)




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## tucker01 (Aug 12, 2004)

Somebody is slacking with there Journal.

Entry # whofuckingknowswhatthismeans.

Max gets taken for a ride in the shower by the local bodybuilding crew at his new gym for initiation.  They said he passed with flying colours, he didn't scream once.


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 12, 2004)

He screamed plenty........I mean, what the fuck are you talking about!!!


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 12, 2004)

Damn foreigners.


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## Var (Aug 13, 2004)

Bump.  WTF Max???  I'm waiting for my daily entertainment.  Pressures on!


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## MaxMirkin (Aug 13, 2004)

What, you think I can just come up with this stuff at the drop of a hat?  Don't you realize it takes hours of scouring the web for some obscure site that won't give a crap if I steal their cheesy jokes and pass them off as my own?  

Plus, what if I actually have some work to do?  Huh?  Ever think about that?.........All right, that is a bit far-fetched.


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## Var (Aug 13, 2004)

Sorry, man.  I assumed you had a job like me and just surfed the web all day.    Maybe I could find you some sites to rip off material.  That'll save u time.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 13, 2004)

Entry #googleplex

Last night at the gym, I watched some kind of aerobics class.  As I was staring at those tight, young butts a realization came upon me........the women's class wasn't starting for another hour.  

I laughed.......then I cried......then I threw up.......then I realized that I just lost precious protein, and quickly sucked it all back up before it cooled (nothing worse then cold vomit  ).

So, how was your day?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 13, 2004)

Ideally I'm supposed to be writing code, but I just don't feel like it.


----------



## Var (Aug 13, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Entry #googleplex
> 
> Last night at the gym, I watched some kind of aerobics class.  As I was staring at those tight, young butts a realization came upon me........the women's class wasn't starting for another hour.
> 
> ...



  Thats more like it


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 13, 2004)

Well, I'm off.  Gonna go see AvP, even though it sucks major ass. 
Have a good one.


----------



## Var (Aug 13, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Ideally I'm supposed to be writing code, but I just don't feel like it.



Geek!  You programmers may be paid well, but you're a bunch of FREAKS!

Can you loan me some cash???


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 16, 2004)

I'm not a particualrly well-paid geek. (so-so)

If anything, I should be asking you for a damn loan, Mr. PT


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 16, 2004)

Entry #4

My first full week at the gym was fuckin awesome.  The yoga, aerobics, and generally all "bending-over" type classes are great! (to watch  )

The cardio equipment is all very shiny & sleek. (Unlike the fat asses that pretend to use it.  ) 

The weight room is just incredible.  Every cool piece of equipment (which I have absolutely no idea how to use  ) is standing there for your enjoyment.  I love the free weights.  It's all olympic ones, not the cheap Modell's crap I had at home.  Just a great, all-around atmosphere.  You can tell, people are there for one reason and one reason only......to annoy the fuck out of us with their never-ending offers of training. But still a really fun place, and I'm considering actually going into the weight room this week.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 16, 2004)

I wonder if I should use this journal to bitch about my personal life......cause it's been so professional up till now, I wouldn't want to spoil it.........fuck it.


----------



## tucker01 (Aug 16, 2004)

Bitch away like the Bitch you are


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 16, 2004)

Well, when you put it so sweetly......


----------



## tucker01 (Aug 16, 2004)

Hey that is what I am here for.  Any time you need a slap up the side of the head, just come a knockin'


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 16, 2004)

I hate weddings...........especially when they're my own.  There's a truly retarded concept.  

Here you have two very different families, who'd normally have nothing to do with each other........except I happen to be shtuping their little girl.  

My peoples are fairly F'd up, but hers aren't exactly a picnic either.  And that's by themselves.  When you put the two hordes together..... 

I'll get into more detail in further posts.  For now, suffice it to say, I might not make it to January.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 17, 2004)

Yesterday had a killer back (& chest) workout.  Hit a new personal record on deads. Was feeling real good about that till some little grandma cut in between my sets and w/out changing the weight started curling the bar.......


----------



## Var (Aug 17, 2004)




----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 17, 2004)

Why do I hate weddings in general, and my own in particular?  Well, if you need to ask me that question you are either *1)*gay, *2)*a woman, or *3)*Iain (a combination of *1* and *2*).

A wedding is basically a contest, between the two sets of relatives, to see which side can annoy the shit out of me most during the course of one evening.

What is the purpose of a wedding? Stumped?  That's because it's only real purpose is to waste a butt-load of money.  You can just as easily get eloped. It's all symbolism (i.e. bullshit).  Who cares?  The important thing is that, in the end, you are with the person that you love (Or, in Iain's case - the person who somehow tolerates your good-for-nothin', Canadian ass.  ). 

So why have one at all?  Well, to answer we have to look at the cost/benefit ratio.  It goes something like this - (Cost of nightma...wedding + emotional pain caused by proximity of all the mutants from two uniquely fucked up clans)/Presents!!!!!!!!!! (And by presents I obviously mean Cash, not whatever crap these rejects happened to find on sale the night before.)
Since we (me and the love of my groi......heart  ) aren't paying for shit, and we *are* gonna collect all the presents, I'm willing to put up with the emotional pain involved. (But I don't have to be happy about it!  )


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 18, 2004)

Yesterday had a decent shoulder day. (i.e. They're still attached.) 

Today will be abusing my legs.  They have grown nicely, but are still being overshadowed by my titanic "Fifth Limb".


----------



## tucker01 (Aug 18, 2004)

Your gut is that big that you consider it a limb now?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 18, 2004)

Go jump in a pool.


----------



## tucker01 (Aug 18, 2004)

Been there done that.

It is amazing the technology they have in the Greek Penal system, me sitting here online and all.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 18, 2004)

Wait till they introduce you to a few other features of the Greek Penal system.   You won't be _sitting_ anywhere, for a while.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 18, 2004)

My fiancee' said the cutest thing a couple of days ago, "We should get health insurance for our dog, when we get one."

I laughed and laughed.  Then it dawned on me that she wasn't laughing along.  I suddenly realized that the insane woman was actually serious!  I gathered my thoughts and tried to come up with the most diplomatic response possible.  

"Sweetheart," I said, "we're not even getting *you* health insurance.  Let alone the rabid flee-bag you're likely to bring home from the pound."

Her reaction was less then enthusiastic. (I haven't gotten any, since.  ) 

Did I do wrong?


----------



## Var (Aug 18, 2004)

No...u did right!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 18, 2004)

That's what I figured.........women!


----------



## Var (Aug 18, 2004)

Can't live with them...can't kill them and get away with it!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 18, 2004)

You're right man.......is that why you started batting for the other side? 

Sorry Var, I'm in a particularly assholish mood today. 

How's your woman treating you?


----------



## Var (Aug 18, 2004)

She's treating me well...always does.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 18, 2004)

Cool.  Keep her happy, or you could end up like me......


----------



## Var (Aug 18, 2004)

I'll do my best


----------



## tucker01 (Aug 18, 2004)

Just don't give her a ring and you'll be fine.  It is too late for you MM, but Var follow the wisdom that we are sharing


----------



## Var (Aug 18, 2004)

I hear that a lot!


----------



## BritChick (Aug 18, 2004)

Damn... this is one funny journal, will have to come back here often!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 20, 2004)

Please do, a lady is always welcome here.   
(A real one, not pseudo-ladies like Var & Iain.  )


----------



## tucker01 (Aug 20, 2004)

Mmmmm Ladies


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 20, 2004)

Put that back in your pants, you're married, no sex for you!   
I still have 5 months of freedom left.


----------



## tucker01 (Aug 20, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> I still have 5 months of freedom left.




Ha ha ha!  Good one.  Your done like dinner


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 20, 2004)

It's true.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 20, 2004)

I'm feeling poetic today (haven't gotten any lately), so here's another poem........nah, not in the mood to write.  Here's an old one:



*My Angel*

Dark, my angel, flashing eyes,
Burns with words, my heart's afire,
Spreads her wings and soars so high,
Sets me churning with desire.

Out of reach and yet so near,
Gliding past in clouds of storm,
I would speak and yet I fear,
Far too threatening's her form.

"Love," I cry and love I mean,
Though I doubt my angel hears,
"Love," she screams but can't be seen,
Panic grips when she appears.

Drops like stone, my bird of prey,
Falling to me fast as light,
Though I fear, love makes me stay,
Come to me, my heart's delight.

Now she's mine, we'll never part,
Joy so great when first we kiss,
Something stabs me through the heart,
Her smile's death and yet its bliss.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 20, 2004)

*Darkness*


Today I woke up, and the darkness arose,
The pain has begun, and my eyes will not close.
Another bleak day, a waste of more time,
Don't want to go on, life's not worth a dime.

Each breath is a labor, I want it to end,
There's nothing for me now, no hope will be lend.
I hate everything, I am bored with this world,
Surrender to darkness, let peace have it's hold.

Don't care for the future, my love is all gone,
The bullet awaits now, my time here is done.
No crying, no praying, to see there'll be none,
The darkness was winning, and now it has won.


----------



## BritChick (Aug 20, 2004)

Loving the poetry... especially the light hearted ones like 'Darkness', I was feeling in need of a bit of a pick me up and this one totally brightened my day.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 20, 2004)

Thank you, your beauty is only matched by your excellent taste in poetry.  

Can you post something in British. (I just dig foreign languages    )


----------



## Var (Aug 20, 2004)




----------



## chiquita6683 (Aug 20, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> *Darkness*
> 
> 
> Today I woke up, and the darkness arose,
> ...



i feel like this sometimes.  wow, thats deep how u can write that down.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 20, 2004)

chiquita6683 said:
			
		

> i feel like this sometimes.  wow, thats deep how u can write that down.



Thank you, but I don't really feel that way anymore.  This was a while ago, in my more youthful (& creative) college days. I was also stoned a lot back then, that helped. 

And try to always look on the brighter side of things, focusing on such negativity isn't good for you psyche. (Unless your head's as empty as mine.  )  Cheer up!!!!!!!!!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 20, 2004)

Now that such lovely ladies have begun visiting my journal (finally  ), does that mean I should clean it up a bit.....perhaps watch my language?


----------



## chiquita6683 (Aug 20, 2004)

oyea, im young, have good days n bad days, im also round the college age, 21, sooo..... but how old r u? but i dont get stoned or anything......... take a peak in my journal and ull understand. i am a pretty positive person, considering, i try to be at least.


----------



## BritChick (Aug 20, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Now that such lovely ladies have begun visiting my journal (finally  ), does that mean I should clean it up a bit.....perhaps watch my language?



Hell NO!  Unless, of course, you would like me personally to vacate?  

I've only tried writing poetry myself once since leaving school and that was when I left my ex (I blame that mistake ((I mean marrying him, NOT leaving him!!)) on youth and acid!) and was getting re-married... hadn't kept the folks back home up to date on all the goings on over here and having to write a big 'heavy' letter just seemed too daunting, so I put it in a poem, some people thought it was a great way to share the good news, others thought I was taking the whole situation a tad too lightly!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 20, 2004)

chiquita6683 said:
			
		

> oyea, im young, have good days n bad days, im also round the college age, 21, sooo..... but how old r u? but i dont get stoned or anything......... take a peak in my journal and ull understand. i am a pretty positive person, considering, i try to be at least.


I have seen some of your journal, and think you are an amazingly strong person. 

Keeping positive is hard, especially when life is so shitty.   But it helps to just try to relax now and then, and most importantly............laugh   Nothing is better then the healing power of laughter. (obviously, IMO) 

I'm actually only 25 (hard to believe, right?  ), but those days seem like a lifetime ago.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 20, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> Hell NO!  Unless, of course, you would like me personally to vacate?
> 
> I've only tried writing poetry myself once since leaving school and that was when I left my ex (I blame that mistake ((I mean marrying him, NOT leaving him!!)) on youth and acid!) and was getting re-married... hadn't kept the folks back home up to date on all the goings on over here and having to write a big 'heavy' letter just seemed too daunting, so I put it in a poem, some people thought it was a great way to share the good news, others thought I was taking the whole situation a tad too lightly!



Wanna post it?  I'm really not judgmental (of beautiful women). (And since you're British, I'm sure it'll sound "Bloody Brilliant" anyway.  )


----------



## BritChick (Aug 20, 2004)

Hmmm... lemme see if I can find it.  Be warned though I am no poet!   

Do you write poems for your girlie?


----------



## BritChick (Aug 20, 2004)

Okay, go easy on me... oh, what the heck, you can tell me it sucks! 
Takes a lot to rattle me!   

Thanks for the opportunity to share, bare in mind that about 30 of my relatives and friends in the UK received this in their Christmas cards... I think my Dad was a bit suprised but considering (as I found out after the split) his nickname for my ex was Norman as in Norman Bates, I don't think he was too upset!   

Here is a poem about my year.
Don???t give me your pity, I???m now full of cheer.

I left my hubby it had to be done.
Now me and the kids can???t having some fun.
No longer do I hear the ???GAMEBOY??? moan...
???Do we have to go out... why can???t we stay home?!???

Trick or treating this year for the very first time,
the Darth Maul and ghost... yep, those two were mine.
And now here comes Christmas, I can???t wait you see...
for no one to tell me we don???t ???NEED??? a tree!

I say this all lightly and somewhat with jest,
but for me and the kids a split was for the best.
I???m still working hard at my daycare and grading,
a new career in the pipeline for these two I hope to be trading.

As beauty consultant with Mary Kay this could be 
a completely new venture in working for me.
I???m training real hard and reaching my goals.
My body fat is dropping my muscles they grow.

The guy that I train with is really quite neat.
He???s cute and he???s funny, he???s kind and he???s sweet.
In fact he???s the new man in my life 
and if all goes as planned I will soon be his wife!

I???m sure as you read this, you will find it quite shocking, 
but heck... life it goes on without ever stopping.
I???m focused on future, on family and friends,
on making the best of whatever life sends.

The year 2000 I look at with glee,
for each day I???m growing in to the new me.
I???m happy, I???m healthy, I have no regrets and 
for you and your family I wish you the best.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 24, 2004)

Excellent 

Don't sell yourself short, that was a really nice piece of writing.  If you ever get the time (and emotional inclination) you should try to write some more.  And I think this is a really cool & ballsy way of informing your family of something so......sensitive.  

I've tried to communicate with my family via poems before, but had to stop every time after getting through 2-3 lines of some profound cursing. 
I do write some for my girl. (It's pretty much required  )  One of the ones I posted in this journal, "Dark Angel" was the first one I ever wrote for her.  She complains to this day that I made her seem evil.


----------



## fantasma62 (Aug 24, 2004)

...and of course, I had to chime in....


Max man, I usually read your journal because I enjoy it and enjoy your work (serious or funny). You have a very good and fun outlook on life and a great sense of humor.  I admire that from you. It surprised the daylights out of me that you wrote such a "dark" poem. However, I have to tell you that I was gladly surprised when I read it. It was very meaningful because at some point in our lives we all feel that way.
I love reading poetry too and I used to write poems and songs (none published but given out to girls and my wife. I mean, it had to work somewhere  ), but now I just write very pretty cards for my wife.
Great poem BritChick, I hope to see more of those from you in the future.
Max, again, great journal...


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 24, 2004)

Thanks man.  Welcome to Diarrhea Land!  Feel free to post here whenever you're bored (that's what I do  ), or if you see a particularly asinine post by Iain or Var and just feel the need to set them straight. (That's actually very hard to do. If you've ever read Var's journal you'd see that they have become quite the couple recently.   )


----------



## tucker01 (Aug 24, 2004)

Jackass 

Hey I saw that you and P-funk are hitting it off quite well.  Something about a NY thing and being into S&M.  I  don't quite remember, but anyway you two are going to be a great couple.  P will rip you a few new assholes.

Whats up no journal entries lately?  Need some updates about ladies doing aerobics at your new Gym.


----------



## BritChick (Aug 24, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Excellent
> 
> Don't sell yourself short, that was a really nice piece of writing.  If you ever get the time (and emotional inclination) you should try to write some more.  And I think this is a really cool & ballsy way of informing your family of something so......sensitive.
> 
> ...



Phew... thanks!   

My husband is pretty witty when it comes to writing, in fact on my website (in the process of being put together) there is going to be a piece called 'Rod's View', it's his thoughts and comments about me... it's going to be a challenge for me NOT to edit the pieces before I submit it I'm sure! lol 
I think it will bring some levity to the site though.

Have a great day!


----------



## fantasma62 (Aug 24, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Thanks man. Welcome to Diarrhea Land! Feel free to post here whenever you're bored (that's what I do  ), or if you see a particularly asinine post by Iain or Var and just feel the need to set them straight. (That's actually very hard to do. If you've ever read Var's journal you'd see that they have become quite the couple recently.   )


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 24, 2004)

IainDaniel said:
			
		

> Jackass
> 
> Hey I saw that you and P-funk are hitting it off quite well.  Something about a NY thing and being into S&M.  I  don't quite remember, but anyway you two are going to be a great couple.  P will rip you a few new assholes.
> 
> Whats up no journal entries lately?  Need some updates about ladies doing aerobics at your new Gym.



What me and Pat have is.........beautiful, man................you can never understand. 
(Actually, we're just united in making Var pay for his girlish workouts and anti-Yankee comments.  )


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 24, 2004)

Entry #vosem

This past weekend I had a very scary preview of the wedding to come.  It was my nephew(to be)'s 1st birthday.  And while he's a cute kid and all, the rest of them can go straight to hell! 

Granted this was only half as bad as the wedding will be since my family wasn't really present (thank goodness), but damn if it didn't make me think back fondly on some of my more painful dentist visits, by comparison. 

The party was held in a typical Russian restaurant (which is what I am if you didn't know.........Russian that is, not a restaurant  ), which meant that the food sucked, the music was worse, and the company was enough to make one wish that NY didn't have such strict gun laws.

My lovely fiancee', very predictably, abandoned me to the mercy of those mutants as soon as she saw her chance to play with the nephew.  So for the rest of the evening I was fair game for every reject with something to slur (the vodka runs very liberally in such places  ).

Like I said, the only way it could've been worse.....will be when I tie the noose.....I mean knot.


----------



## BritChick (Aug 24, 2004)

You should be writing stuff and getting it published, you are way too funny and entertaining to not be making $$$ from this!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 24, 2004)

You only say that because you're hot.....I mean nice. 

I'm just a bored programmer.  Besides, how many gay Var jokes can I come up with before they start to bore people. (Let's find out  )


----------



## fantasma62 (Aug 24, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Entry #vosem
> 
> This past weekend I had a very scary preview of the wedding to come. It was my nephew(to be)'s 1st birthday. And while he's a cute kid and all, the rest of them can go straight to hell!
> 
> ...


You see what I mean?  I almost fell off my chair laughing when I read this....
I agree with BritChick and I am certainly not hot, so I hope it counts....


----------



## BritChick (Aug 24, 2004)

I dunno but I'm not bored yet... well not of your jokes, I AM bored which is why I am still sitting here posting drivel in other peoples journals.
Keep me entertained Max!


----------



## fantasma62 (Aug 24, 2004)

Same here.... Slow day at work and I don't have to worry about the boss being mad at me for being online....I am the boss....


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 24, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> I dunno but I'm not bored yet... well not of your jokes, I AM bored which is why I am still sitting here posting drivel in other peoples journals.
> Keep me entertained Max!


Yes ma'm!


----------



## BritChick (Aug 24, 2004)

Are you feeling under pressure to perform yet? lol


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 24, 2004)

fantasma62 said:
			
		

> Same here.... Slow day at work and I don't have to worry about the boss being mad at me for being online....I am the boss....


You lucky bastard!  

And if it makes you feel any better (which it shouldn't), Var told me he thinks you're very hot.  (gay-Var joke #17)


----------



## BritChick (Aug 24, 2004)

So what about this wedding of yours?  Is it going to be a big shindig?  
I'm not much into weddings myself, yep that includes my own! I actually left mine up to a gf who desperately wanted to organize it... I just gave her the cash and said nothing fancy.  The honeymoon was what I was looking forward to but somehow it didn't go as planned I ended up spending it in a trench, mixing mud and labouring for my husband and dining on tuna out of the can with a wall tie... I think I got screwed over???


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 24, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> Are you feeling under pressure to perform yet? lol


Yes, but then I take yet another virtual stroll through you pic gallery,  and immediately get a certain uplifting inspiration.


----------



## BritChick (Aug 24, 2004)

LOL Cute.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 24, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> So what about this wedding of yours?  Is it going to be a big shindig?
> I'm not much into weddings myself, yep that includes my own! I actually left mine up to a gf who desperately wanted to organize it... I just gave her the cash and said nothing fancy.  The honeymoon was what I was looking forward to but somehow it didn't go as planned I ended up spending it in a trench, mixing mud and labouring for my husband and dining on tuna out of the can with a wall tie... I think I got screwed over???


Wow, you really did get screwed over.  Honeymoon should be the best part.  Why did the evil man do that to you?


----------



## BritChick (Aug 24, 2004)

Hmmm... because apparently I'm a good labourer?! lol
It's okay, I've been making him pay ever since!!!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 24, 2004)

Cool, did you ever get a makeup honeymoon?


----------



## fantasma62 (Aug 24, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> You lucky bastard!
> 
> And if it makes you feel any better (which it shouldn't), Var told me he thinks you're very hot.  (gay-Var joke #17)


Hey Man....


----------



## BritChick (Aug 24, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Cool, did you ever get a makeup honeymoon?



Just the sex!   

Actually we did go away for our honeymoon to La Conner in the states but we worked all the freaking time we were there and by the time we hit the hotel room after 13 hours of mixing mud and packing blocks I was knackered!


----------



## Var (Aug 24, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> And if it makes you feel any better (which it shouldn't), Var told me he thinks you're very hot.  (gay-Var joke #17)



First of all, stop making gay jokes about me.  I'm as straight as they come.  Secondly, stop calling my house drunk at 2am trying to get phone sex.  I'm NOT INTO GUYS!!!


----------



## fantasma62 (Aug 24, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> Just the sex!
> 
> Actually we did go away for our honeymoon to La Conner in the states but we worked all the freaking time we were there and by the time we hit the hotel room after 13 hours of mixing mud and packing blocks I was knackered!


Sorry BritChick but what kind of honeymoon did you go to?    
That looks just plain manual labor without pay....


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 24, 2004)

fantasma62 said:
			
		

> That looks just plain manual labor without pay....


That's how most women refer to their honeymoons.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 24, 2004)

Var said:
			
		

> First of all, stop making gay jokes about me.  I'm as straight as they come.  Secondly, stop calling my house drunk at 2am trying to get phone sex.  I'm NOT INTO GUYS!!!


I only write these things because I know how secure you are in your sexuality.  Another guy wouldn't be able to take it like you can Var......

P.S. I just wanted conversation, you insisted on the sex.


----------



## BritChick (Aug 24, 2004)

Yes, it sucked for sure... I think at the time I was soooooo in love     that I would do anything for my man... I probably even offered 'to do anything for him' when we were making honeymoon plans... we apparently had different kinds of 'filth' in mind!!!   
You have to bare in mind that my husband is a workaholic, (though he denies it) he works 7 days per week and quite often 80 hours... I must be a terrible wife to drive him away like that! lol
On our wedding day he seriously wanted to put in a half-day before the ceremony... turned out he got a case of the jitters on the big day and instead stayed home swigging pepto bismal.


----------



## BritChick (Aug 24, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> That's how most women refer to their honeymoons.



LMAO


----------



## fantasma62 (Aug 24, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> Yes, it sucked for sure... I think at the time I was soooooo in love    that I would do anything for my man... I probably even offered 'to do anything for him' when we were making honeymoon plans... we apparently had different kinds of 'filth' in mind!!!
> You have to bare in mind that my husband is a workaholic, (though he denies it) he works 7 days per week and quite often 80 hours... I must be a terrible wife to drive him away like that! lol
> On our wedding day he seriously wanted to put in a half-day before the ceremony... turned out he got a case of the jitters on the big day and instead stayed home swigging pepto bismal.


----------



## Var (Aug 24, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> P.S. I just wanted conversation, you insisted on the sex.



Well, you cant get a person all worked up and then not deliver...you fuckin tease!!!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 24, 2004)

Var said:
			
		

> Well, you cant get a person all worked up and then not deliver...you fuckin tease!!!


That's exactly what my brother-in-law said to his wife at the hospital, when she was in labor with their kid.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 24, 2004)

Another productive workday is done, I'm off to the gym.  Bye all.


----------



## Var (Aug 24, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> That's exactly what my brother-in-law said to his wife at the hospital, when she was in labor with their kid.


----------



## fantasma62 (Aug 24, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> That's how most women refer to their honeymoons.


I thought that was how they referred to marriage...


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 24, 2004)

Having picked on my fiancee's family for a while now, I feel it only fair that we turn our attention to the bottom half of this shit sandwich. (i.e. *my* dear relatives).

How can I best summarize them..........

This is tough, lets split them up.  I'll deal with the women in a future entry, for now lets focus on the males.  I guess I should describe the way these beasts behave in their natural habitat, the dreaded Russian Restaurant! (Cause that's the only place I'm actually forced into their foul company.)

Ahhh, drunks who dance cause they're drunks, these are truly my people!

So there they are.  Men, who at the best of times can't manage to walk down the street w/out stumbling several times, begin to feel the call of music (and about 2 liters of their sweet temptress, the Vodka.)  Suddenly (they think) they are transformed into great dancers & must share their new-found gift with everybody in sight!   

My uncle is perhaps the funniest of the bunch (In that "oh my god, I can't believe he just ate his own feces" sort of way.)  His ability to sing extremely off-key, while stumbling around in circles (or "dancing", as he calls it), lies dormant most of the time.  But a few glasses of champagne (mixed with healthy doses of vodka, of coarse) unlocks these hidden abilities to everyone's great amusement.  He then assumes the predictable pattern of sing...stumble...puke...sing...stumble...puke...and so on, for the rest of the evening.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 25, 2004)

Entry #deva't


*Random Musings*

Why is it that the lockeroom always smells of ass, yet the bathroom stinks of lysol?

Why are there always weird noises coming out of the sauna, especially when I'm using it?

Why is it every time I get set for a healthy dose of 20lb barbell curls in the power rack, some prick will inevitably interrupt me between my 8th & 9th sets to ask if he can use it for something stupid like squats.   

Why are all the hot chicks wearing such tight, tight outfits....................what was i talking about? And why are there new stains on my pants?  

What are so many beautiful women doing in Canada?  Don't they realize it's really cold there? Move south! I promise to personally help you adjust to any (sexual) difficulties you might encounter in such a foreign culture.   

Why does my job suck ass? If I wasn't such an atheist, I'd definitely consider selling my soul for something better......perhaps in the adult-entertainment industry?


----------



## BritChick (Aug 25, 2004)

In fine form today I see.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 25, 2004)

Thank you. You know, I only post now in hopes of drawing you in here.


----------



## BritChick (Aug 25, 2004)

Ha... well apparently it's working!


----------



## tucker01 (Aug 25, 2004)

It is just that he draws the likes of me in as well. 

Good Stuff Max


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 25, 2004)

Thank Iain. But you're only here cause you know I'm gonna think twice now, before insulting Canadians.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 26, 2004)

*Questions*


Why do we do the things we do?
And don't do what we must,
Is it because we fear the truth?
Our courage fades to dust.

Why do we put our trust in gods?
They care not for our pain,
Why don't we worship dirt or mud?
Our souls would have less stain.

Why do we hurt the ones we love?
Break promises and trust,
Our symbol is a tarnished dove,
Our love can't match our lust.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 26, 2004)

Entry #42 (In memory of DA) 

Leg day today, will do lunges just for Var. (  )

I can never seem to get a good workout lately.  It just doesn't feel right.  I asked a staff member (who shall remain brainless) if there was anything wrong with the bar, and he informed me that I had to put weights on it.


----------



## greekblondechic (Aug 26, 2004)

I do wonder about the Canada thing, TONS of hotties there.


----------



## BritChick (Aug 26, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> *Questions*
> 
> 
> Why do we do the things we do?
> ...



Nice... like this one a lot.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 26, 2004)

Thank you, lovely northern neighbor.  I got more sappy ones, if you like that.  They used to get me sweet loving, now they're just collecting virtual dust.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 26, 2004)

greekblondechic said:
			
		

> I do wonder about the Canada thing, TONS of hotties there.


It's the weirdest thing....even with Iain there, they just refuse to leave.


----------



## BritChick (Aug 26, 2004)

Liking them all so far... bring 'em on.


----------



## tucker01 (Aug 27, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> It's the weirdest thing....even with Iain there, they just refuse to leave.



Somebodies Jealous


----------



## Novo (Aug 27, 2004)

Best

Journal

Ever!

There are tears in my eyes, and I have been snorting with laughter. I _never_ snort, I am a ladyyy


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 27, 2004)

Novo said:
			
		

> Best
> 
> Journal
> 
> ...


Thank you, and welcome to Diarrhea Land, the place where all ladies sooner or later come to admire my great athletic feats. (Actually they probably come to laugh at me, but close enough.  )

So you're from Australia?  That's cool!  Got any kangaroos?  And if so, are they as tasty as they are attractive?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 27, 2004)

IainDaniel said:
			
		

> Somebodies Jealous


Damn right!  I just don't get it, what is it about your frozen tundra of a country that so fascinates all these gorgeous creatures?  Don't they realize that thawing is only one border away?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 27, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> Liking them all so far... bring 'em on.


'kay babe, just for you:


*Don't Cry*

Don't cry my love, in time, all tears will fade away,
I know your smile, for it shall live, to see another day.
Your heart, my love, feels broken, and you think it'll never mend, 
But time heals wounds, both great and small, my love to you I send.

Don't cry my love, life can, at times, be such a wicked bitch,
It takes your hopes, your dreams, your thoughts, and throws them in a ditch.
Though life brings pain upon your head, don't let it weigh you down,
Just smile, my love, don't show your pain, don't let them see you frown.    

Don't cry my love, I'm there for you, no matter what occurs,
Your pain, it stabs me through the heart, know I'm forever yours.
Enjoy the memories you have, they'll never leave your heart,
Just live your life, my lovely girl, your smile will be your start.


----------



## BritChick (Aug 27, 2004)




----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 27, 2004)

--> your new avi (and let me add a  )


----------



## fantasma62 (Aug 27, 2004)

Man Max, that's a beautiful poem. I am surprised that Var and Ian haven't ragged on you yet.

Still, I was sitting here reading and I have to tell you, this is the kinda' stuff you publish dude....Congrats....

Do we still use the word "dude" in this century.....
You know you are too old when you say the word "dude" in every other sentence......


----------



## tucker01 (Aug 27, 2004)

I can't rag on him now,  He keeps Bring Britchick in here with that Avi and all.

Fag


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 27, 2004)

fantasma62 said:
			
		

> Man Max, that's a beautiful poem. I am surprised that Var and Ian haven't ragged on you yet.
> 
> Still, I was sitting here reading and I have to tell you, this is the kinda' stuff you publish dude....Congrats....
> 
> ...


What do you mean, _dude_?   
I like that word and use it all the time, you're never too old for it.  (Unless your name's Albob.  )

As for the poems, I had a few published (don't remember if this was one of them.)


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 27, 2004)

IainDaniel said:
			
		

> I can't rag on him now,  He keeps Bring Britchick in here with that Avi and all.
> 
> Fag


That's it! I'm expelling all _male_ foreigners from Diarrhea Land!


BANNED!  


(Oh, and it's "Mr. Fag" to you.   )


----------



## tucker01 (Aug 27, 2004)

Sorry Mr. Fag,  

Can I please come back and play in diarrhea land?

Pretty Please


----------



## fantasma62 (Aug 27, 2004)




----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 27, 2004)

IainDaniel said:
			
		

> Sorry Mr. Fag,
> 
> Can I please come back and play in diarrhea land?
> 
> Pretty Please



Why not?  They'll let anybody cross the border these days.


----------



## tucker01 (Aug 27, 2004)

Yeah American Border Control is pretty lax isn't it 

You need me here who else can you make fun of.... ah forget it, I forgot about Var


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 27, 2004)

IainDaniel said:
			
		

> You need me here who else can you make fun of.... ah forget it, I forgot about Var


If it helps, I think of you two as one.


----------



## Var (Aug 27, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> If it helps, I think of you two as one.



Now you've gone too far!   Calling me gay is one thing, but calling me Canadian...THATS JUST CRUEL!!!


----------



## tucker01 (Aug 27, 2004)

Shit anything is better than a Rhode Islander :0


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 27, 2004)

IainDaniel said:
			
		

> Shit is better than a Rhode Islander :0


Nah, I think they're just ebout equal.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 27, 2004)

Var said:
			
		

> Now you've gone too far!   Calling me gay is one thing, but calling me Canadian...THATS JUST CRUEL!!!


I'm sorry, I only meant the gay part.  I'd never call you a Canadian. (That's low even by my standards.)


----------



## Var (Aug 27, 2004)

IainDaniel said:
			
		

> Shit anything is better than a Rhode Islander :0



The "blow job mouth" smiley tells us exactly what you meant by this statement.  I'm sorry our gay community doesnt live up to your standards.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 27, 2004)




----------



## tucker01 (Aug 27, 2004)

Thats alright Var you can continue to live in your Gay community.

OTH I think I have this figured out.

Max is the Fag, sorry Mr.Fag

Remember being in School (Age 7 or something) when you used to make fun of the girls you liked, because you didn't want to admit you liked them.

I think Max actually has a crush on you Var you should be so honoured, maybe he could write you a few gay poems


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 27, 2004)

Dear Var,
Don't drop that soap (bar),
Here come's Iain's crappy car,
You won't make it very far.


----------



## Var (Aug 27, 2004)

I already said that he calls me in a drunken stupor every morning at 2am.  I'm not hiding anything.    I think he just has cold feet about the wedding though.


----------



## Var (Aug 27, 2004)

I need to start posting pics of hot chicks, so noobs dont think I'm really gay!


----------



## tucker01 (Aug 27, 2004)

Alright Guys have a good one.  Weekend is finally here


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 27, 2004)

I have frozen feet about the wedding.  But I look forward to the honeymoon.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 27, 2004)

Bye all. Have a good one!


----------



## Var (Aug 27, 2004)

Have a great one guys!


----------



## Novo (Aug 27, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Thank you, and welcome to Diarrhea Land, the place where all ladies sooner or later come to admire my great athletic feats. (Actually they probably come to laugh at me, but close enough.  )
> 
> So you're from Australia?  That's cool!  Got any kangaroos?  And if so, are they as tasty as they are attractive?


Yes, that's why I am here - I heard about these great athletic feet of yours, apparently they are surprisingly nimble considering their hyoogeness? So it's true what they say? Big feet, large ... shoes?

And of course I have roos ... in my freezer. They're not pets silly, they are food. Everyone down here has whole frozen Kanga lying around - it's hard not to, since they will insist on leaping around on the city streets. When we knock them down we just load them in the back of the car and take them home. It's a bit tricky, they're very big and fight back if you haven't killed them dead first hit - but that's why sheila's down here are so big and strong. We also wrestle crocs ... but you knew that already, right?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 30, 2004)

Crikey!  
You aren't mad at me, are you Novo?  I was just being my charming self. (No harm intended.) 

I like my crocs in suitcase form.


----------



## Novo (Aug 30, 2004)

Que? Mad? No, why? Far from it ... did I sound it?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 30, 2004)

*My observations on the Trainer-Client Relationship.*

If ever you are bored in the gym, and just feel like lunging (  ) around.  Take a good look at the mysterious coupling of the PT and his/her bitch....er, I mean client. 

Few things are as humorous as this non-symbiotic relationship.  Granted there's good trainers out there, but let's face it, who the hell can afford them?  So for every Gopro, we get about a hundred Vars (scary thought all in itself).  And it is the Vars of the world (or at least their female equivalent, in this case) that I'm gonna focus upon.

While there's any number of PT's at my gym, one clearly stands out. (Huge boobs!)  She is a very fit young lady, who enjoys wearing very tight, black outfits. (She must have like a hundred pairs of the same tight, black pants.  Either that, or she washes those fuckers constantly. Cause my hand print never stays on the back of them for very long, and god knows it's put there with high frequency.  )

Anyway, her routine is pretty much standard:  
*1.* She meets poor bastard (always male...) with a lovely smile and a big, firm hug (...here's why  ).
*2.* Leads him to one of the more abandoned machines over in the corner.
*3.* Sets the weight to something properly humiliating.
*4.* Has them do sets of an unspecified # of reps. (There is an actual number, but it falls somewhere between "annoying" and "I want my money back.")
*5.* Proceeds to chat for the next hour with other equally hard-working PT's. 
*6.* Occasionally draws a smiley face in her little "booklet of uselessness" to show the client how carefully she's keeping track of his progress.
*7.* Rinse and repeat.

And do you think the clients ever complain at this rather.....eccentric form of personal training?
They're too busy watching her boobs bounce up and down, for an hour, while she laughs at some joke that one of the other workaholic PTs tells her. (I bet the clients get their only real exercise later on that night.  ) 

Just to make sure these poor schmucks keep the cash flowing, she gives them another firm hug when they're done.

Then, having put on this demonstration, she's has the nerve to walk around and ask us if we might need her services.  Every time she comes up to me, I just give her a big smile, and explain that I'm not gay, so I'll never really need to know the exact technique she used to get her job. At that point she usually turns around and storms off in the direction of  the next potential victim. (I, of coarse, use the opportunity to once again give her tight little ass a nice squeeze.....by accident!)

So now, what the hell was my point with all this..........oh yeah! Var sucks!!!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 30, 2004)

Novo said:
			
		

> Que? Mad? No, why? Far from it ... did I sound it?


A little, but I guess it was just me.  Don't worry about it, I'm a perpetually confused individual.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 30, 2004)

Bulking's a bitch! After a solid week of overeating, I have lost a pound!   
If this keeps up, I may have to resort to junk food.


----------



## tucker01 (Aug 30, 2004)

What do you consider overeating Mr. Fag?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 30, 2004)

IainDaniel said:
			
		

> What do you consider overeating *Mr. Fag*?


Did you get lost?  Iain's journal can be found elsewhere.  

And as for overeating, well I don't exactly measure my food, but I'd approximate around 300-500 extra cals a day. (Maybe a bit less  )


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 31, 2004)

Had a great workout yesterday! Set new PRs in bench and deads!  Getting so strong, may soon move on to the green dumbells!!! (But I sure will miss the pink ones.  )

Next week I rest, after 10 grueling weeks.  Don't know what I'll do with myself, it'll be so weird to have all that extra free time after work.  I'll still stop by the gym two days for calves & abs, but aside from that 
I'd use it as "quality" time with my girl, but she just started her last semester, and it's all evening classes. 
Guess I'll just have catch up on quality time with some porn.


----------



## P-funk (Aug 31, 2004)

> But I sure will miss the pink ones.  )



taht's okay, more for var


----------



## tucker01 (Aug 31, 2004)

He only needs the one though


----------



## Novo (Aug 31, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Don't worry about it, I'm a perpetually confused individual


Well, that's only fair. I mean, imagine if you had your beauty and brawn ... and added a not-confused brain to that also?? Would be cruel, all the other boys would be jealous   

You ARE beautiful and brawny, right? Since, you know, that's the impression your diary conveys ...


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 31, 2004)

Novo said:
			
		

> Well, that's only fair. I mean, imagine if you had your beauty and brawn ... and added a not-confused brain to that also?? Would be cruel, all the other boys would be jealous
> 
> You ARE beautiful and brawny, right? Since, you know, that's the impression your diary conveys ...


Really, my diary suggests to you that I'm beautiful and brawny?  Did anybody else get that impression?  Cause it's true, you know. .... 
If anybody sends you pics that prove otherwise, then they have clearly been doctored! 

And don't worry, the other boys wouldn't be jealous. (They have no interest in what *women* think of them.  )


----------



## P-funk (Aug 31, 2004)

> And don't worry, the other boys wouldn't be jealous. (They have no interest in what women think of them.  )



busted


----------



## Novo (Aug 31, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Really, my diary suggests to you that I'm beautiful and brawny? <snip> Cause it's true, you know


Well yes, yes it clearly shines throughout each page. I'm sure everyone else will agree 



> And don't worry, the other boys wouldn't be jealous. (They have no interest in what *women* think of them.  )


Good point, I should have realised ...


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 31, 2004)

P-funk said:
			
		

> busted


I didn't mean you, dude.  It's those other (non-moderator  ) gay bastards I was talking about.


----------



## tucker01 (Aug 31, 2004)

Yeah like Var


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 31, 2004)

IainDaniel said:
			
		

> Yeah like Var


You only say that........because it's so true.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 31, 2004)

So Novo, how about a bit of a bio?  You obviously have great taste in men. (  )
But what else? What do you do?  How do you do it?  How many are usually involved?   
Little details like that is what fills up my boring, work-ignoring days.


----------



## Novo (Aug 31, 2004)

Mainly I just stay up far too late reading random journals in here. Some are inspiring ... some are just hilarious and offer better light entertainment than a book or the goggle box would offer me at 4:26am. Want to know which camp yours falls in?

And during the day - I ride on the back of crocs and slaughter roos for food, remember? Then I go to the gym, grit my teeth, imagine Var were training me ... and pick up some metal objects, move them up and down a few times.

Then I go home and walk on beautiful Bondi beach, oggling the surfers. Crazy wild life hey


----------



## P-funk (Aug 31, 2004)

> Want to know which camp yours falls in?



If you read mine I owuld love to know which camp it falls in.


----------



## Novo (Aug 31, 2004)

With you I find it's more about oggling the pictures  Oh, and training advice as of today!


----------



## P-funk (Aug 31, 2004)

Novo said:
			
		

> With you I find it's more about oggling the pictures  Oh, and training advice as of today!




thank you.....but what pictures?  I don't think I have any in my newest journal.  there is a lot of dirty talk though.


----------



## Novo (Aug 31, 2004)

Oh, I get around a bit  Journals are best, but I peruse elswehere too - it was comp photos I'm thinking of


----------



## Var (Aug 31, 2004)

IainDaniel said:
			
		

> Yeah like Var






			
				MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> You only say that........because it's so true.



You fuckers are lucky I've been too busy to read these journals this week!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 31, 2004)

Var said:
			
		

> You fuckers are lucky I've been too busy to read these journals this week!


Oh, so you do still check in.  I thought you just didn't want to associate with us, lowlifes, anymore.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 31, 2004)

Novo said:
			
		

> Mainly I just stay up far too late reading random journals in here. Some are inspiring ... some are just hilarious and offer better light entertainment than a book or the goggle box would offer me at 4:26am. Want to know which camp yours falls in?


I really inspire you?  Wow, thanks.  Now I know all the hard work I put into this journal is paying off.  






			
				Novo said:
			
		

> And during the day - I ride on the back of crocs and slaughter roos for food, remember?


What a lovely image, got any pics?  






			
				Novo said:
			
		

> Then I go to the gym, grit my teeth, imagine Var were training me ... and pick up some *metal* objects, move them up and down a few times.


Think _plastic_, not metal, if you're training w/Var.


----------



## Var (Aug 31, 2004)

Novo said:
			
		

> Then I go to the gym, grit my teeth, imagine Var were training me ... and pick up some metal objects, move them up and down a few times.



Can't believe i missed this one!!!    I'm always happy to play a part in a ladies imagination!  I'd *be happy* to train you!!!    Fly me out to the land Down Under and I'm yours!  

Ignore anything Max or Iain say about me


----------



## Novo (Aug 31, 2004)

I think I need pics please Var, so that I can put some detail to the shadowy figure in my imagination?


----------



## Novo (Aug 31, 2004)

psssst Iain - I did it for you, I'll send them on of course


----------



## Var (Aug 31, 2004)

Iain calls me every other night asking for pics.  I knew he'd put one of you girls up to it eventually.  

I'm posting some pics this week or next.  I took the old ones down a while back.


----------



## tucker01 (Aug 31, 2004)

wait a second 

Novo, if you really want Pics of Var,  Max has been bragging about a collection of them, that Var and Him Took of each other on a recent trip in NY


----------



## Var (Aug 31, 2004)

And he told me you've been trying to bribe him for copies all week.  You'll need more than that Canadian crack beer to turn Max against me!


----------



## tucker01 (Aug 31, 2004)

How about Canadian Women


----------



## BritChick (Aug 31, 2004)

Are good to see you guys back in fine form today.


----------



## Var (Aug 31, 2004)

IainDaniel said:
			
		

> How about Canadian Women



They do seem to have an effect on me.


----------



## Var (Aug 31, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> Are good to see you guys back in fine form today.



We like to keep you coming back.


----------



## P-funk (Aug 31, 2004)

Var said:
			
		

> We like to keep you coming back.



AMEN!!!!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 31, 2004)

They're always in fine form, when it comes time to polute my journal.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 31, 2004)

Var, are these real pics we're talking about, or more random X-men drawings?


----------



## P-funk (Aug 31, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> They're always in fine form, when it comes time to polute my journal.




your journal is a waste like mine and var's now.....hahahahahaha


----------



## Var (Aug 31, 2004)

P-funk said:
			
		

> your journal is a waste like mine and var's now.....hahahahahaha



Wasnt mine polluted from post #1???


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 31, 2004)

P-funk said:
			
		

> your journal is a waste like mine and var's now.....hahahahahaha


But it started off with so much potential.


----------



## Var (Aug 31, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Var, are these real pics we're talking about, or more random X-men drawings?



They're pics of me in my spandex Wolverine outfit.  I thought those were the ones u wanted to see?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 31, 2004)

Var said:
			
		

> Wasnt mine polluted from post #1???


Damn it Var, everything you touch.........just look at Iain.


----------



## P-funk (Aug 31, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Damn it Var, everything you touch.........just look at Iain.




    

good form


----------



## tucker01 (Aug 31, 2004)

Shuddap!! 

Now Patrick you don't want to become apart of this do you?


----------



## BritChick (Aug 31, 2004)

Var said:
			
		

> They're pics of me in my spandex Wolverine outfit.  I thought those were the ones u wanted to see?



No... I think those were the ones I wanted to see!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Aug 31, 2004)

Var said:
			
		

> They're pics of me in my spandex Wolverine outfit.  I thought those were the ones u wanted to see?


Don't you have any in your spandex Storm outfit?  Your leather Xena dress?  Your missing butt-flap "Iain" pants?


----------



## Var (Aug 31, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> No... I think those were the ones I wanted to see!


----------



## Var (Aug 31, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Don't you have any in your spandex Storm outfit?  Your leather Xena dress?  Your missing butt-flap "Iain" pants?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 1, 2004)

Here's one of the first. Not very good, if I do say so myself. Wrote it to a soon-to-be-Ex.  Was to pissed at the time to put in much effort. (Plus I think I stole some lines from Metallica  ) 



*I Don't Care*

I really don't care what you think,
And, yes, I'm gonna have that drink.
I don't care what you say to me,
You don't control me, I am free.

You think you know all that there is,
But, trust me, hearing you's no bliss.
Your world is like an empty shell,
You'd steal my soul to make it well.

What right have you to force my thoughts,
You think your kindness has me bought.
My life is mine, and this I say,
I'll have that drink now, anyway.

I'll do the things that make you cringe,
I'll have a thousand drinks, I'll binge.
I don't care what you say or do,
I am a drunk, and so are you. 

Your drink of choice is not like mine,
You drink my blood, you bend my spine.
But, I am free, as of this day.
Begone my pain, you'll fade away.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 1, 2004)

*True Love*

Your eyes, like stars, portray a light of shining boundless beauty,
Your hair, like fire, stirs inside me passion without end,
You are my love, my life, my heart, my one true sacred duty,
To lose you is to lose my soul, and never would I mend.

The sound that fills my mind each night feels like a jolting shock,
It is the sound of beating hearts, together, yours and mine,
I know my love will never end, though others laugh and mock,
You are my one and only God, eternaly devine.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 2, 2004)

Entry #-infinity x 2

Having established myself here, on IM, I find all too often that I'm fielding questions from those who admire and/or find me sexually irresistible. (Wish it was more women.  )  The questions are as numerous as the categories are varied, but in general they fall into several big ones: "Why did you write _that_ about my mother?", "Why did you sleep with my mother?", "Why did you write _that_ about my father?", "Why did you sleep with.....", anyway  you get the point.

Now, the situation at my gym has become very similar, lately.  What follows, is a brief list of the common questions I get asked, my response, and whether or not that response got me my ass beaten. (Keep in mind that I'm dealing with weight lifters and bodybuilders here, so the questions range from the merely idiotic all the way to "Gee, I'm in the same Junior High class as Var."   )

*Q:* Why for you is so puny? (This *is* a fairly accurate representation of their grammar skills.)
*A:* Me no no.  (I went to Brooklyn College!   )
*Result:* Ass not beaten.  In fact, my grammar being even worse then theirs, lowered their guard and got me accepted!

*Q:* Why you no do lunges?
*A:* Lunges are for women & sexually-confused Rhode Islanders.
*R:* Ass slightly beaten.  But after much consideration (i.e. grunting and snorting) they ended up agreeing with me, and even promised to help me "re-decorate" Var's truck, when he visits.

*Q:* Why for you rest for 30 minutes between sets of 3lb dumbell curls?
*A:* I belong to IM forums, where many wise people have injured themselves many, many times.  There I learned that over-training is the worst sin there is! (Worse even then doing lunges!) And I wouldn't want anything to happen to these mighty, 11-inch pythons.  
*R:* Several minutes of grunting and snorting ensued, following which I got my ass beaten. 

*Q:* Do you think I'm sexy?
*A:* No sir, and this shower only has room for one!   
*R:* ...........


So, if anyone has any questions, fire away!  I'll answer them to the best of my Var-insulting ability.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 2, 2004)

My girl's birthday is coming up next week, so I 've decided to get her what she's been begging me for all year.........sex.  (I'm just not to sure what she meant by the "....with someone else" part.  )


----------



## tucker01 (Sep 2, 2004)

I would be happy to volunteer.  If anything it would make you look good


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 2, 2004)

IainDaniel said:
			
		

> I would be happy to volunteer.  If anything it would make you look good


I thank you for your selfless offer Iain, but she's only allowed to have sex with other men if I kill her first.  However, if any women were to volunteer.......well, then we could make it an early birthday present for me.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 2, 2004)

So no one has questions for me?.......Well, screw you all then.   
...I'll just ask myself questions.



Dear Max,      

What is the secret behind your success with the ladies?  How can I be more like you?

                                                                    -Gene Simmons


----------



## kvyd (Sep 2, 2004)

Dear Max,

Whats your favorite cut of meat?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 2, 2004)

Well Gene, the secret is actually a special technique, which I have perfected after years and years of practice.  It's called, "Not Showering".  That's right Gene, apparently women hate that whole, gay, "clean" smell. Nothing turns the ladies on like the musky, unmistakable scent of unwashed male ass. (This is especially true of Canadian women, cause they've spent their whole lives around some of the smelliest MoFos in the world.  )


----------



## P-funk (Sep 2, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Well Gene, the secret is actually a special technique, which I have perfected after years and years of practice.  It's called, "Not Showering".  That's right Gene, apparently women hate that whole, gay, "clean" smell. Nothing turns the ladies on like the musky, unmistakable scent of unwashed male ass. (This is especially true of Canadian women, cause they've spent their whole lives around some of the smelliest MoFos in the world.  )




max....slowly rising up the ranks to being one of my top heros n this world.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 2, 2004)

kvyd said:
			
		

> Dear Max,
> 
> Whats your favorite cut of meat?



Dear kvyd,

Did you mean that in a sexual way, or not?  
Either way, the answer is breast.


----------



## Var (Sep 2, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Well Gene, the secret is actually a special technique, which I have perfected after years and years of practice.  It's called, "Not Showering".  That's right Gene, apparently women hate that whole, gay, "clean" smell. Nothing turns the ladies on like the musky, unmistakable scent of unwashed male ass. (This is especially true of Canadian women, cause they've spent their whole lives around some of the smelliest MoFos in the world.  )


----------



## tucker01 (Sep 2, 2004)

Chicken isn't Meat Mr. Fag


----------



## kvyd (Sep 2, 2004)

hah, I meant in a food manner.


----------



## tucker01 (Sep 2, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Well Gene, the secret is actually a special technique, which I have perfected after years and years of practice.  It's called, "Not Showering".  That's right Gene, apparently women hate that whole, gay, "clean" smell. Nothing turns the ladies on like the musky, unmistakable scent of unwashed male ass. (This is especially true of Canadian women, cause they've spent their whole lives around some of the smelliest MoFos in the world.  )


----------



## kvyd (Sep 2, 2004)

Its ture isnt it Iain?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 2, 2004)

P-funk said:
			
		

> max....slowly rising up the ranks to being one of my top heros n this world.


Flattery won't keep you from getting insulted!   
Helping me return Var's truck to it's original state (that of a toaster), might.


----------



## P-funk (Sep 2, 2004)

> Flattery won't keep you from getting insulted!



What happend to my insult then?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 2, 2004)

IainDaniel said:
			
		

> Chicken isn't Meat Mr. Fag


But it still cries when *you* prick it, don't it?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 2, 2004)

P-funk said:
			
		

> What happend to my insult then?


Well, you were born Italian, so you've already been insulted by nature.  I don't like to kick people when they're down. (That was a lie.  You're also short.  )


----------



## P-funk (Sep 2, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Well, you were born Italian, so you've already been insulted by nature.  I don't like to kick people when they're down. (That was a lie.  You're also short.  )




ouch


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 2, 2004)

Var said:
			
		

>


Var, you suck. Where the hell have you been?


----------



## kvyd (Sep 2, 2004)

I think he said hed been on a trip with his boy friend in Vieopes Gay thread.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 2, 2004)

P-funk said:
			
		

> ouch


Sorry, but you requested.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 2, 2004)

kvyd said:
			
		

> I think he said hed been on a trip with his boy friend in Vieopes Gay thread.


Are you saying Var is gay???  No....that can't be....not Var...you just misunderstood.....what he and Iain have isn't really sex. (According to Clinton)


----------



## kvyd (Sep 2, 2004)

lol


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 3, 2004)

Life is good, finally starting to put on some weight!  Will be a fat ass in no time.  
Strength is going up nicely! Almost feel bad about taking next week off, but a growing boy needs his rest. 

Now just gotta keep bulking till mid November, then do a cut for the wedding. (Well actually the honeymoon, I don't give a rat's ass about the wedding.  )


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 3, 2004)

*Post #1500!*

(My boss will be thrilled.)


----------



## Var (Sep 3, 2004)

Amateur


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 3, 2004)




----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 7, 2004)

Weekend was great.  Did absolutely nothing for three glorious days.  Life be good.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 7, 2004)

Entry #cheeznuts

I feel bad about all the useless posts in this thread. (previous 339)
So I've decided to finally post my diet:

*Meal 1* 
coffee - essential!  This is what gets me through the day.  Without it I wouldn't have the energy to......whore here all day long. 

donuts - also essential! Just a little pick-me-up snack to start the day off right.  (Bulking - 3 dozen.  Cutting - 2.5 dozen)

left-over beer - nothing like a little warm heineken first thing in the morning. (Replaces protein shake *and* mouthwash!!!)

tooth pickings - it's either this or I gotta brush 'em


----------



## P-funk (Sep 7, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Entry #cheeznuts
> 
> I feel bad about all the useless posts in this thread. (previous 339)
> So I've decided to finally post my diet:
> ...



Great diet! Got any pictures so that we can see what kind of physique you can achieve on this diet?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 7, 2004)




----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 7, 2004)

*Meal 2*

protein bar - I prefer 3 Musketeers, but will sometimes go with Snickers, on a cut. (Cause I heard you need peanut butter or something.  )

Pizza - miracle food!  Combines protein, carbs, & a healthy dose of hydrorefrigirated fats. Plus the 3 block walk to pizzeria, & back, serves  as an excellent source of cardio.  (When bulking, I obviously get delivery.)

pickled pig's feet - all I can say is, Yummy!!!!!  This is like one of nature's true delights.  Just make sure they detach them before serving, or at least ask them to knock the pig out first. (Last time the porker chipped one of my teeth, but it was so worth it.  )

fried goat anus - or "shish kabob" as the Turks like to call it.  Great stuff, just make sure to chew properly.  You don't want the headlines to read, "Man dies after chocking on anus!", now do you?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 9, 2004)

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 13, 2004)

My favorite poem:



*A Renewal*

Having used every subterfuge
To shake you, lies, fatigue, or even that of passion,
Now I see no way but a clean break.
I add that I am willing to bear the guilt.

You nod assent. Autumn turns windy, huge,
A clear vase of dry leaves vibrating on and on.
We sit, watching. When I next speak
Love buries itself in me, up to the hilt.


James Merrill (1926-1995)


----------



## tucker01 (Sep 15, 2004)

HEy Mr. Fag


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 16, 2004)

IainDaniel said:
			
		

> HEy Mr. Fag


Iain, what the hell happened to you?  Haven't seen you Var-abused ass around lately.  Has the baby been keeping you busy?  How's the kid doing?  Did he start calling the mailman, "Daddy", yet or is he still confused?


----------



## tucker01 (Sep 20, 2004)

Nah just had a big project at work the last couple of weeks, ah nothing like working 80+ hrs a week


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 20, 2004)

IainDaniel said:
			
		

> Nah just had a big project at work the last couple of weeks, ah nothing like working 80+ hrs a week


80+.........you nuts man, I get more then enough from 40.  Shit, you gotta get into an easier field.  What do you do for a living?


----------



## tucker01 (Sep 20, 2004)

We are a manufacturer and supplier of Play Ground Equipment, Skatepark Equipment, and Park amenities.  I was supervising a Quarter of a Million dollar job that need to be done for Saturday's Grand opening so freaking happy it is over, but I am just whipped.  

Friday was a 7am to 3am day   Off the NC and then Maryland in a next week and a couple of weeks, respectively.  Fuck I need to win millions and retire or something


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 20, 2004)

IainDaniel said:
			
		

> We are a manufacturer and supplier of Play Ground Equipment, Skatepark Equipment, and Park amenities.  I was supervising a Quarter of a Million dollar job that need to be done for Saturday's Grand opening so freaking happy it is over, but I am just whipped.
> 
> Friday was a 7am to 3am day   Off the NC and then Maryland in a next week and a couple of weeks, respectively.  Fuck I need to win millions and retire or something


That sucks man but look on the bright side, at least you'll get to visit a civilized country for a while.   

I'm with you on the lottery thing.  I spend half my workday just fantasizing about all the extra sleep I could get if I won a mil or so.


----------



## GoalGetter (Sep 20, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> ...I spend half my workday just fantasizing about all the extra sleep I could get if I won a mil or so.


 Do you play?


----------



## tucker01 (Sep 20, 2004)

I don't know I heard NC was a third world Country 

And Maryland I will be in the Hicks, Incest is Best


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 20, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> Do you play?


No, just fantasize.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 20, 2004)

IainDaniel said:
			
		

> I don't know I heard NC was a third world Country
> 
> And Maryland I will be in the Hicks, Incest is Best


I'm not gonna argue with you on those.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 23, 2004)

Var said:
			
		

> I like boys.


 Whatever you say, dude.


----------



## Var (Sep 23, 2004)




----------



## MaxMirkin (Sep 28, 2004)

New bench pr yesterday!!!!  Finally broke the dreaded 15lb barrier!


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 5, 2004)

Privetik!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 5, 2004)

Well, hello there babe.  Kak dela?


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 5, 2004)

narmalno soltse, kak u tebia?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 5, 2004)

Ok no more "russian talk".  I can read what you write, but mine is beyond rusty.  So babe, where are you from, originally? And how come I've never seen you on IM before?


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 5, 2004)

I'm from Kiev, what about you?
Haven't been on IM for a while, but I'm back now  lol.
Do you have AIM or yahoo?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 5, 2004)

Wow, that's cool. I'm from Kiev too! What are the odds? 
I have yahoo, but i hardly use it.  
So, how many years since you moved here?


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 6, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Wow, that's cool. I'm from Kiev too! What are the odds?
> I have yahoo, but i hardly use it.
> So, how many years since you moved here?


 hahahahahaha.. you are really something.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 6, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Wow, that's cool. I'm from Kiev too! What are the odds?
> I have yahoo, but i hardly use it.
> So, how many years since you moved here?


Moved here in '93, what about you?
Where in Kiev did you live?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 6, 2004)

I came in like 87 or 88, a bit fuzzy on the exact date.  I lived in some neighborhood called Lesnoy Massiv.  It was like near a forest.  What about you?  
By the way, how old are you babe?  I'm 25 going on 12.


----------



## BritChick (Oct 6, 2004)

Good morning Max... how's things?


----------



## Jeanie (Oct 6, 2004)

Hey, maybe we can stalk you too!  This could be fun   So where is Kiev?


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 6, 2004)

Wow no wonder you don't remember it. 
I lived on Gor'kovo (very close to the center of the city).
I'm 22, and accorging to my family going on 16 lol.  Hey.. I'm older then you


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 6, 2004)

Jeanie said:
			
		

> Hey, maybe we can stalk you too!  This could be fun   So where is Kiev?


 That's what I'M talkin' about! hahaha!


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 6, 2004)

Kiev is in Ukraine


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 6, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> Good morning Max... how's things?


Morning babe. I'm alive, beyond that does it really matter? Does anything matter?  Are any of us really here?  What is the sound of one hand jerking?   

How are you? Did you have a good b-day?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 6, 2004)

Jeanie said:
			
		

> Hey, maybe we can stalk you too!  This could be fun   So where is Kiev?


Kiev is too near Chernobyl, that's the only thing that really matters.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 6, 2004)

> Morning babe. I'm alive, beyond that does it really matter? Does anything matter? Are any of us really here? What is the sound of one hand jerking?


WOW polniy zagruz  lol   ... sorry don't know what that's in English


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 6, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> WOW polniy zagruz  lol   ... sorry don't know what that's in English


Closest I can think of is "mind fuck"


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 6, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> Wow no wonder you don't remember it.
> I lived on Gor'kovo (very close to the center of the city).
> I'm 22, and accorging to my family going on 16 lol.  Hey.. I'm older then you


Mentally, most are.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 6, 2004)

> Closest I can think of is "mind fuck"


LOL then how do you say .. ti menia zagruzil?  You fucked my mind?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 6, 2004)

And any one that wants to stalk me will have to get past my bodyguard/midget sidekick, Var.  I warn you, he's a real ankle biter.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 6, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> LOL then how do you say .. ti menia zagruzil?  You fucked my mind?


Close, I think it's "You skull fucked me."


----------



## tucker01 (Oct 6, 2004)

Entry # wasted

I couldn't even pick the Pink dumbells off the rack today, they felt heavy.  I was pissed, felt a Personal best was possible.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 6, 2004)

IainDaniel said:
			
		

> Entry # wasted
> 
> I couldn't even pick the Pink dumbells off the rack today, they felt heavy.  I was pissed, felt a Personal best was possible.


Mayhaps a bit less beer is in order?  I find alcohol really pulls me down the dumbell color chart.


----------



## BritChick (Oct 6, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Morning babe. I'm alive, beyond that does it really matter? Does anything matter?  Are any of us really here?  What is the sound of one hand jerking?
> 
> How are you? Did you have a good b-day?



Hmmm... deep thoughts for a Wednesday morning!   

I'm doing great, birthday was okay, didn't do anything for it so I kinda forgot about it for the most part!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 6, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> Hmmm... deep thoughts for a Wednesday morning!
> 
> I'm doing great, birthday was okay, didn't do anything for it so I kinda forgot about it for the most part!


Really?  No naked men jumping out of cakes and such?  I'm surprised babe.


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 6, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Really?  No naked men jumping out of cakes and such?  I'm surprised babe.


 Never mind the naked men, did somebody say "cake"?


----------



## BritChick (Oct 6, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Really?  No naked men jumping out of cakes and such?  I'm surprised babe.



Hell, not as suprised as I was! lol
I am gonna have to party hard in Vegas!!!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 6, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> Never mind the naked men, did somebody say "cake"?


If I say it again, will *you* jump out of one?


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 6, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> If I say it again, will *you* jump out of one?


 Hahahahaha no, it's more like I'll jump ONTO one. mmmmm cake.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 6, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> Hell, not as suprised as I was! lol
> I am gonna have to party hard in Vegas!!!


Have fun! And watch out for Funk, he gets real wild in bars.  (Don't go near his thumbs.  )


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 6, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> Hahahahaha no, it's more like I'll jump ONTO one. mmmmm cake.


Down girl! 2 more weeks then you can have all the cake you want.  Till then, practice the jumping out part.


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 6, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Down girl! 2 more weeks then you can have all the cake you want.  Till then, practice the jumping out part.


 It's all about the plyometrics, baby!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 10, 2004)

Today was an interesting day.  I lost something I never had.  What would a shrink say about that, i wonder........

If everything happens for a reason, then karma's truly a bitch. 
I think it'll be a while before I'm my cheerful self again.  Everything in life is funny, if you look at it a certain way.  I just have to find the humor in this.  There's a bit of irony there for sure, have to unearth it.


----------



## BritChick (Oct 10, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Today was an interesting day.  I lost something I never had.  What would a shrink say about that, i wonder........
> 
> If everything happens for a reason, then karma's truly a bitch.
> I think it'll be a while before I'm my cheerful self again.  Everything in life is funny, if you look at it a certain way.  I just have to find the humor in this.  There's a bit of irony there for sure, have to unearth it.



Wow, I feel like I understand this one way more than I should!   
Keep smiling Max.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 10, 2004)

WOW, I hope everything will be ok. :hug:


----------



## myCATpowerlifts (Oct 10, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Today was an interesting day.  I lost something I never had.  What would a shrink say about that, i wonder........
> 
> If everything happens for a reason, then karma's truly a bitch.
> I think it'll be a while before I'm my cheerful self again.  Everything in life is funny, if you look at it a certain way.  I just have to find the humor in this.  There's a bit of irony there for sure, have to unearth it.



enlighten me, what did you lose?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 10, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> Wow, I feel like I understand this one way more than I should!
> Keep smiling Max.


Thank you, babe. I'll smile if you will.


----------



## BritChick (Oct 10, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Thank you, babe. I'll smile if you will.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 10, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> WOW, I hope everything will be ok. :hug:


Hugs are always welcome, Katia.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 10, 2004)

myCATpowerlifts said:
			
		

> enlighten me, what did you lose?


My sanity.


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 11, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Today was an interesting day. I lost something I never had. What would a shrink say about that, i wonder........
> 
> If everything happens for a reason, then karma's truly a bitch.
> I think it'll be a while before I'm my cheerful self again. Everything in life is funny, if you look at it a certain way. I just have to find the humor in this. There's a bit of irony there for sure, have to unearth it.


  I know how you feel.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 11, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> I know how you feel.


So it burns when you pee, too?


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 11, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> So it burns when you pee, too?


 hahahahahahahahaha! Yeah, but the doctor said it was a passing thing and I shouldn't worry too much about it.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 11, 2004)

> So it burns when you pee, too?


Now I'm afraid to ask what it is you lost.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 11, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> Now I'm afraid to ask what it is you lost.


I lost my sight and now I'm blind,
I lost my little, tiny mind.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 11, 2004)

hey that rhymes   

lets continue...
Yet I still walk, but not too far, 
Before I bump against a wall.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 11, 2004)

The wall stands strong, the wall stands quick,
The wall's like my brain, made of brick.  

 Your turn


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 11, 2004)

But I'm not stupid, I'm really not, 
I just pretend to be dull yet hot.

your turn...


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 11, 2004)

Pretending is what I do best,
Hey, who here wants to feel my breas.......

you babe...


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 11, 2004)

Yes I'm a tease, but so are you, 
And if you'll touch them I'll punch you.  

you...


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 11, 2004)

I think you're plaing hard to get,
I'm not quite sure, but I will bet.

after you...


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 11, 2004)

This is too much. hahahahahaha! Katia that was awesome! hahaha!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 11, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> This is too much. hahahahahaha! Katia that was awesome! hahaha!


If you don't start to talk in rhyme,
Your voice will lose itself in time.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 11, 2004)

I'm kind of late, I had to leave, 
But now I'm back, and can make that bet.

you...


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 11, 2004)

What shall we bet, my sweet young pet,
A rat, a cat, a fine new hat? 

(my last one for a while, i'll be back in a few hours to continue  )

your turn...


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 11, 2004)

I'm scared of rats and cats are furry, 
I'm rhyming all day, and it's making me worried.

you...


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 11, 2004)

Then let us end the rhymes today,
The words can go, but you can stay.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 11, 2004)

Yes, this is getting really weird, 
I can't seem to stop!
I need to quit!

Women always have to get the last word


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 11, 2004)

This was too cute so I put it all togather lol 


I lost my sight and now I'm blind,
I lost my little, tiny mind. 

Yet I still walk, but not too far,
Before I bump against a wall.

The wall stands strong, the wall stands quick,
The wall's like my brain, made of brick.

But I'm not stupid, I'm really not,
I just pretend to be dull yet hot.

Pretending is what I do best,
Hey, who here wants to feel my breast.

Yes I'm a tease, but so are you,
And if you'll touch them I'll punch you.

I think you're plaing hard to get,
I'm not quite sure, but I will bet.

I'm kind of late, I had to leave,
But now I'm back, and can make that bet.

What shall we bet, my sweet young pet,
A rat, a cat, a fine new hat?

I'm scared of rats and cats are furry,
I'm rhyming all day, and it's making me worried.

Then let us end the rhymes today,
The words can go, but you can stay.

Yes, this is getting really weird,
I can't seem to stop!
I need to quit!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 11, 2004)

We should publish it.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 11, 2004)

LOL.. a poet.. one thing I thought I'd never be   
What do we call it though?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 11, 2004)

"Rhyming Russians"


----------



## BritChick (Oct 11, 2004)

Hi


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 11, 2004)

LOL yeah, a poem like that coming from sober Russians is probably a 1st.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 11, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> Hi


Hi Kerry, how are you today? Still smiling? You have such a lovely one.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 11, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> LOL yeah, a poem like that coming from sober Russians is probably a 1st.


Who said I was sober, babe?


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 11, 2004)

lol, well, then I'll speak for myself


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 11, 2004)

You were sober?  For shame! 

What would your parents say, if they found out?  If I don't greet mine with a fresh 1.75 liter bottle of vodka whenever I visit, they'd disown me.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 11, 2004)

LOL, I don't really drink at all actually.  My parents are still trying to get me drunk just to see how I'd act.  ..only Russians lol.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 11, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> LOL, I don't really drink at all actually.  My parents are still trying to get me drunk just to see how I'd act.  ..only Russians lol.


You.....don't.......d.......dr......drin.....DRINK?!??!?!?  What?  Where are you really from?  Which government has you spying here, pretending to be from Kiev?   

You seriously don't drink?  At all?  That's so....weird.  I've only seen one other Russian girl who did that, in all my years.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 11, 2004)

I get that a lot.  And there's like a line of people saying that although I don't drink, THEY can make me drink.  Hasn't happened yet!  I'm stubborn.  I'm boycotting them! lol.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 11, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> I get that a lot.  And there's like a line of people saying that although I don't drink, THEY can make me drink.  Hasn't happened yet!  I'm stubborn.  I'm boycotting them! lol.


  

I bet I could do it.  First I'd get you drunk, to lower your resistance, then when you least expect it......wait, what were we talking about again?


----------



## BritChick (Oct 11, 2004)

Hi again! Yes I am still smiling, how about yourself, feeling any better today?
You had a fun day in here it seems, always fun reading your journal.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 11, 2004)

LOL, I think the 1st part of your plan won't work.... not sure what the 2nd part was.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 11, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> Hi again! Yes I am still smiling, how about yourself, feeling any better today?
> You had a fun day in here it seems, always fun reading your journal.


Thank you babe, it's always fun when you visit. I miss our little chats.   

As for today, I do feel much better. Katia's been entertaining me all day. (I think I'll keep her.  )

Keep smiling, my fellow European.


----------



## BritChick (Oct 11, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Thank you babe, it's always fun when you visit. I miss our little chats.
> 
> As for today, I do feel much better. Katia's been entertaining me all day. (I think I'll keep her.  )
> 
> Keep smiling, my fellow European.



Uh oh watch out Katia! lol


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 11, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> LOL, I think the 1st part of your plan won't work.... not sure what the 2nd part was.


You don't want to know what part 2 was......trust me.  

So, have you ever tried alcohol?  In any way, shape, or form?


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 11, 2004)

> Uh oh watch out Katia! lol


should I be scared? 

Yup, I had a shot of Vodka once... NASTY stuff! And I taste different drinks (just to know know what's going on lol)  but never actually drink them.  Red wine sometimes, thats about it.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

INFIDEL!!!!  Vodka is our milk!  How can you speak so against the Holy Liquid?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

Vodka makes us who we are,
At home, at work, or in the bar.


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 12, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Vodka makes us who we are,
> At home, at work, or in the bar.


 In the park or in the dark
 And even with a girl who barks.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 12, 2004)

> INFIDEL!!!! Vodka is our milk! How can you speak so against the Holy Liquid







> Vodka makes us who we are,
> At home, at work, or in the bar.
> 
> In the park or in the dark
> And even with a girl who barks.



oh no... here we go again   

But if you drink a bit too much, 
You'll act all weird and won't get touched.


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 12, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> oh no... here we go again
> 
> But if you drink a bit too much,
> You'll act all weird and won't get touched.


 Au contraire, mon Russian frere.
 You'll let men touch your derriere.

 (i can't write french, but what the hell
 it's not like you can really tell)


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

Girls who bark should stay in dark,
For guys would rather kiss a shark.


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 12, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Girls who bark should stay in dark,
> For guys would rather kiss a shark.


  Barking girls don't get enough credit. 
 You should take it where you can get it.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

I'll touch you both, so do not fret,
I am the best your cash can get.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> Barking girls don't get enough credit.
> You should take it where you can get it.


If your bark can match your bite,
You will have company tonight.


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 12, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> I'll touch you both, so do not fret,
> I am the best your cash can get.


 I would not pay a single penny.
 Pleasureable offers, I've had many.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> I would not pay a single penny.
> Pleasureable offers, I've had many.


A stuck-up girl, we have here caught,
She thinks affection can't be bought


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 12, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> A stuck-up girl, we have here caught,
> She thinks affection can't be bought


 The only thing stuck-up in here
 Is your big head within your rear.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> The only thing stuck-up in here
> Is your big head within your rear.


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 12, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

>


 Checkmate. hahahahaha!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> The only thing stuck-up in here
> Is your big head within your rear.


My head is big for all the thoughts,
While your's is used to frighten goats.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 12, 2004)

The gots are weird and maybe funny, 
Now lets talk about those money.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 12, 2004)

lol that totally came out of my ass ...but it rhymed well


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 12, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> My head is big for all the thoughts,
> While your's is used to frighten goats.


 
 That does not hold a candle to
 The words I uttered first to you.

 You should try harder next time 'round,
 Before I'm nowhere to be found.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

Ivy makes a lot of cash,
But night job gives her funny rash.


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 12, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Ivy makes a lot of cash,
> But night job gives her funny rash.


 
 The rash was only temporary; 
 Caused by men who are too hairy.

 Doctor said it soon would pass,
 Just keep away from furry ass.

 So I ahered to his advice,
 and once again I'm fresh and nice.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> That does not hold a candle to
> The words I uttered first to you.
> 
> You should try harder next time 'round,
> Before I'm nowhere to be found.


I'm off my game a bit today,
You won that round, now please do stay.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 12, 2004)

> The rash was only temporary;
> Caused by men who are too hairy.
> 
> Doctor said it soon would pass,
> ...


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> The rash was only temporary;
> Caused by men who are too hairy.
> 
> Doctor said it soon would pass,
> ...


You use such lovely little words,
To describe your love of hordes.

Fresh and clean you may now be,
Yet still it burns when you must pee.

Doctor was not very thorough,
Hard to reach, for he must burrow.


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 12, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> You use such lovely little words,
> To describe your love of hordes.
> 
> Fresh and clean you may now be,
> ...


  Why, yes, it still burns when I pee.
  But it's the vodka, don't you see?

  I drank too much to drown my sorrows
  Caused by the doctor, the one who burrows.

  Why he burrows? I do not know.
  You said it first, I'm just going with the flow.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 12, 2004)

You must be very very sore, 
I just can't take it anymore.

This is the funniest shit I've ever read, 
So please continue, now I need to jet.


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 12, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> You must be very very sore,
> I just can't take it anymore.
> 
> This is the funniest shit I've ever read,
> So please continue, now I need to jet.


 Oh dear Katia, will you be late?
 Please stay and watch me dominate.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> Why, yes, it still burns when I pee.
> But it's the vodka, don't you see?
> 
> I drank too much to drown my sorrows
> ...


Let us discuss the doc no more,
He hacked his way down to the core.

Let us instead turn back to that,
Which you insult, my playful pet.

For Vodka is the drink of gods,
Not girls with pretty, young, hot bods.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> Oh dear Katia, will you be late?
> Please stay and watch me dominate.


Don't worry Katia, she will lose,
For not respecting our sweet booze.


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 12, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Let us discuss the doc no more,
> He hacked his way down to the core.
> 
> Let us instead turn back to that,
> ...


 Young, hot bods are overrated, 
 and of no use to those sedated.

 Vodka may flow from your cup,
 But what good is that, when you can't keep it up?


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> Young, hot bods are overrated,
> and of no use to those sedated.
> 
> Vodka may flow from your cup,
> But what good is that, when you can't keep it up?


You miss the point, but help I can,
Sedation, is what gets you men.

Without that sweet intoxication,
How dry would run your lubrication?


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 12, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> You miss the point, but help I can,
> Sedation, is what gets you men.
> 
> Without that sweet intoxication,
> How dry would run your lubrication?


  I need no booze to get me goin'
  Just a man who knows what he's doin'.

  So don't you even try that line,
  We both know you're asleep by nine.

  YOu and your vodka need to learn,
  for what it is that women yearn.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> I need no booze to get me goin'
> Just a man who knows what he's doin'.
> 
> So don't you even try that line,
> ...


Your lines have lost some of their rhyme,
For as a poet, you're a mime.

I'm not the one passed out each night,
Before the fading of the light.

As for what women want of me,
I'll make a tape, for all to see.


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 12, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Your lines have lost some of their rhyme,
> For as a poet, you're a mime.
> 
> I'm not the one passed out each night,
> ...


  As the real poet here,  you should know,
The words don't always rhyme and flow.

  As for the tape of which you speak,
  I would not mind gtting a peek.

  However, I must warn you first,
  In homemade tapes, I'm not well-versed.

  For all I know it isn't you,
  But what the heck any porn will do.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> As the real poet here,  you should know,
> It the words don't always rhyme and flow.
> 
> As for the tape of which you speak,
> ...


Not porn, my sweet, no never that,
We call it "art", down on the set.

And watching's not all you should do,
Participation is key, too.

We'll make a star of you tonight,
Then all the boys for you will fight.

But all in vain they'll strive to get,
The most elusive girl I've met.


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 12, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Not porn, my sweet, no never that,
> We call it "art", down on the set.
> 
> And watching's not all you should do,
> ...


 Although I'd love to be the winner, 
 this could go on even past dinner.

 From what I've seen and what I've heard, 
 you really have a way with words.

 So I'll step down and move aside,
 I'll even -- gulp -- swallow my pride.


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 12, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> Although I'd love to be the winner,
> this could go on even past dinner.
> 
> From what I've seen and what I've heard,
> ...


 _
 "huh huh.. i said 'swallow'..."_


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> Although I'd love to be the winner,
> this could go on even past dinner.
> 
> From what I've seen and what I've heard,
> ...


No need, for i concede to you,
This contest, which you won, it's true.

You are as good with words, my dear,
As taking pics of your sweet rea.....  

And so I tip my hat and bow,
Enjoy your victory for now.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> _
> "huh huh.. i said 'swallow'..."_


heh heh heh heh heh heh


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 12, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> No need, for i concede to you,
> This contest, which you won, it's true.
> 
> You are as good words, my dear,
> ...


 One more line then, for goodness sake
 "rear-view" pics I did not take.
 Ok, just one, that much is true.
 But I won't uncensor it even for you.

 And now I'm really truly gone,
 for I have work that must get done.
 It's been a pleasure, this verbal battle.
 Sure beats grazing with the office cattle.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

Women! Always must get the last verse in.


----------



## Luke9583 (Oct 12, 2004)




----------



## Katia7 (Oct 12, 2004)

I missed some GOOD stuff! 



> Women! Always must get the last verse in.


ALWAYS!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

Not you too! 
I can never win.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 12, 2004)

yup.. we women have to stick together 

I got the most retarted Russian song stuck in my head.  
Make it stop! Make it stop!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

Which song? (They're all retarded, so you'll have to be more specific.  )


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 12, 2004)

Netsiluy ti v gubi devchonok gorecho, 
Tm za zubami zubi i ostriy ezichok...

What did I do to deserve this!!!???


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> Netsiluy ti v gubi devchonok gorecho,
> Tm za zubami zubi i ostriy ezichok...
> 
> What did I do to deserve this!!!???


Very deep and meaningful, like all Russian songs.   

Do you listen to a lot of it?  Do you like american music?


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 12, 2004)

Honestly...I can't stand Russian music. Unfortunately, my friends can't get enough of it.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> Honestly...I can't stand Russian music. Unfortunately, my friends can't get enough of it.


I know how you feel babe. 

Well, I'm off to gym, see you later.  And don't listen to anymore of that crap if you can help it.


----------



## tucker01 (Oct 12, 2004)

You Work out 

Is there anything lower than Pink


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 12, 2004)

Sure...Canadian Mounty-Red.  The fruitiest of all the dumbell colors.  That's what the "special" (i.e. Canadian) newbies start out with.  I'm guessing you haven't worked your way up to them yet.


----------



## tucker01 (Oct 13, 2004)

Nope not yet.  They are extra Heavy and should only be used by advanced beginners 

We have pinstripe dumbells (supplied by the Yankees)  They are for super wusses like myself

Good game last night Mussina was awesome.  I was suprised to see the bosox even make it close, but I guess you can't count out that offense


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 13, 2004)

Hell yeah.  That was awesome!  At least we took it to Shilling, which had to shake up Red Sox nation. (Whether they'll admit it or not.)  If we can whup Pedro tonight, their spirit will be broken.  End of series, right there.  

So, who are you rooting for?  Sox, right? Bastard!!!!


----------



## tucker01 (Oct 13, 2004)




----------



## Katia7 (Oct 17, 2004)

.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 17, 2004)

I wanted to post an image but it's not working


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 17, 2004)

If it's on your pc, you have to upload it babe.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 17, 2004)

nope, it's online


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 18, 2004)

Then what's the problem?  Just make a link to it's address, you've done it before.  What am I missing?


----------



## tucker01 (Oct 18, 2004)

Beantown,  Squeeked one out last night

I thought for sure it was over, prolly today


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 18, 2004)

Hopefully today.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 18, 2004)

Today was a great day.  I finally gave my dreaded presentation at work.  The one I had to work nights and weekends for.  And it went great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They liked my work.....so I get to keep recieveing paychecks, yay!!!!!!!!!

To celebrate, I promise to not say anything offensive to anybody till the end of the (work)day!!!!!!


----------



## BritChick (Oct 18, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Today was a great day.  I finally gave my dreaded presentation at work.  The one I had to work nights and weekends for.  And it went great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> They liked my work.....so I get to keep recieveing paychecks, yay!!!!!!!!!
> 
> To celebrate, I promise to not say anything offensive to anybody till the end of the (work)day!!!!!!



Hey, it's is a good day after all!
Congrats on the presentation going well!
Not saying anything offensive to anybody till the end of the day seems a bit excessive though don't ya think


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 18, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> Hey, it's is a good day after all!
> Congrats on the presentation going well!
> Not saying anything offensive to anybody till the end of the day seems a bit excessive though don't ya think


I couldn't do it.  

(See open chat for many examples of me failing to be non-offensive.  )


----------



## BritChick (Oct 18, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> I couldn't do it.
> 
> (See open chat for many examples of me failing to be non-offensive.  )



That's the spirit... keep up the good work!


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 18, 2004)

> Then what's the problem? Just make a link to it's address, you've done it before. What am I missing?


You'd have to log into the site then to view the images.   But it's OK, it was just something funny... not a big deal.  But don't worry if it was something pornographic I'd make sure you get it


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 18, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> You'd have to log into the site then to view the images.   But it's OK, it was just something funny... not a big deal.  But don't worry if it was something pornographic I'd make sure you get it


Please do.


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 19, 2004)

Good morning, Dr. Evil.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 19, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> Good morning, Dr. Evil.


I still have hair.


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 19, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> I still have hair.


 It doesn't count there.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 19, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> It doesn't count there.


It does, when you shave it off and glue it on top.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 21, 2004)

For all you festive freaks:


*Halloween*

Demons crawl on my new floor,
Coming through the windows,
Slither in beneath the door,
Swaying as the wind blows.

Marching in a column wide,
Laughing at my terror,
Wish I'd though to run and hide,
Is this my final error?

Now they're tearing me to shreds,
While chewing on my spleen,
Wake up, falling off my bed,
Oh, fuck you Halloween!


----------



## BritChick (Oct 21, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> For all you festive freaks:
> 
> 
> *Halloween*
> ...



Nice!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 21, 2004)

Thank you babe.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 25, 2004)

you've got mail


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 25, 2004)

Niiiiiiice!!!!!!  Thank you, babe.  You have made my day.


----------



## tucker01 (Oct 25, 2004)

Are getting more NAMBLA photos again.  I thought only your alter ego VAR was into that.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 25, 2004)

> Niiiiiiice!!!!!! Thank you, babe. You have made my day.


Anything for you... well not ANYTHING, but you know what I mean


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 25, 2004)

IainDaniel said:
			
		

> Are getting more NAMBLA photos again.  I thought only your alter ego VAR was into that.


Var always said he liked you so much only cause your physique reminded him of a little boy.


----------



## shutupntra1n (Oct 25, 2004)

Ahhhh my first one... my very very first one. Well here anyway. My very one post numero uno in your journal. I think I'll get comfortable and stay for a while


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 25, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> Anything for you... well not ANYTHING, but you know what I mean


You're only able to resist me due to the distance between us.  As you get closer and closer, your willpower will weaken with each passing mile........and then you will be mine!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahaha


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 25, 2004)

shutupntra1n said:
			
		

> Ahhhh my first one... my very very first one. Well here anyway. My very one post numero uno in your journal. I think I'll get comfortable and stay for a while


Welcome babe!  Please stay! Though this journal is not as exciting as it was during it's peak, there is still plenty of abuse to be had by all. Besides, I have never turned away a beautiful young lady before, and I'm not about to start now. 
(Iain doesn't really count. I've turned him away plenty of times, but then he's only a beautiful young lady in his own mind.  )


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 25, 2004)

> You're only able to resist me due to the distance between us. As you get closer and closer, your willpower will weaken with each passing mile........and then you will be mine!!!!


Are you trying to hipnotise me? 
I'm getting sleepy.. I'm getting very sleepy


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 25, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> Are you trying to hipnotise me?
> I'm getting sleepy.. I'm getting very sleepy


Go with that....relax....relax....let your worries drift away....loosen your pants...er, I mean body...loosen your body...can you feel it getting lighter.....and lighter...you're floating away.....now lower those nasty moral inhibitions...that's right let them go, they're not needed here....now slowly close your eyes....think happy thoughts, while I.....(to be continued in New York.  )


----------



## GoalGetter (Oct 25, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Go with that....relax....relax....let your worries drift away....loosen your pants...er, I mean body...loosen your body...can you feel it getting lighter.....and lighter...you're floating away.....now lower those nasty moral inhibitions...that's right let them go, they're not needed here....now slowly close your eyes....think happy thoughts, while I.....(to be continued in New York.  )


 oh boy. This has trouble  written all over it.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 25, 2004)

trying hard to stay awake... ...can't.... Somebody wake me up!  Fast! aaaaaaaaa!!!


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 25, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> oh boy. This has trouble  written all over it.


Don't know whatcha mean babe.


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 25, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> trying hard to stay awake... ...can't.... Somebody wake me up!  Fast! aaaaaaaaa!!!


When you hear me count slowly backwards from 75,642 you will come out of this trance.  When that happens you will wake with an insatiable desire for Max....who is me. (Just any old Max won't do.   ) You will think of nothing but Max, you will want nothing but Max.  Now then.....75,642..75,641...


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 25, 2004)

can't fight it any longer


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 25, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> can't fight it any longer


Why fight?  Giving in is so much more fun.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 25, 2004)

3,589...3,588...
oh fuck it!.. I can't wait any longer... 
Max   Max  Max


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 25, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> 3,589...3,588...
> oh fuck it!.. I can't wait any longer...
> Max   Max  Max


   That's right!  Just like that!  Now don't lose track of this thought on your way here. And when you finally get to NY, we'll discuss whatever you got on your mind.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 25, 2004)

Things to do for NY:
1) get life insurance
2) bring clothes
3) make sure I have that life insurance
4) bring a present for Max  
5) double check on that life insurance
6) bring a picture of Max  to look at while I'm on the plain
7) make sure I got that life insurance
....
20) make sure I have life insurance


----------



## MaxMirkin (Oct 25, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> Things to do for NY:
> 1) get life insurance
> *2) bring clothes*
> 3) make sure I have that life insurance
> ...


That one's not necessary.


----------



## Katia7 (Oct 25, 2004)

How did I know you were going to say that.


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## tucker01 (Oct 27, 2004)




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## MaxMirkin (Oct 27, 2004)

Get that kid a damn Yankees hat!  
And quit jumping on the Sucks' bandwagon, it'll take 'em another 80 years to win the next one.


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## Var (Oct 27, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Get that kid a damn Yankees hat!
> And quit jumping on the Sucks' bandwagon, it'll take 'em another 80 years to win the next one.



"Yankee's suck
Jeter swallows"

...and dont forget that Max!


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## MaxMirkin (Oct 27, 2004)

Var said:
			
		

> "Yankee's suck
> Jeter swallows"
> 
> ...and dont forget that Max!


Holy shit!  If it isn't the Ghost of Postings Past.  When are you coming back Var?  It's getting pretty boring posting all these.....stories about you, without you being here to deny and curse back at me.


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## Katia7 (Nov 1, 2004)

hey you


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 1, 2004)

Hi babe, how was your weekend?


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## Katia7 (Nov 1, 2004)

Was OK.. nothing too exciting as usual.
How was yourse?


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 1, 2004)

Same old, same old.  Scared a bunch of little snots shitless, didn't bother to dress up, had a few drinks with a few friends.  Nothing exciting.  

Did you dress up?


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## Katia7 (Nov 1, 2004)

Nope 
My girls are gone (moved) and the people who are left are no fun.. no one wanted to do anything that would envolve dressing up.   

How did you scare them without dressing up? You don't look THAT scarry to me.


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 1, 2004)

I used some fake blood and guts.  Little fuckers wet themselves. 
(I love children.  )

Do you guys have any halloween parades in that little village?  I used to go to the one we have in the city, but my girl don't wan't to go anymore cause she ends up staring at peoples' asses the whole time.  You vertically-challenged folks is funny.


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## Katia7 (Nov 1, 2004)

Nope we don't have anything here.  I was watching the NY parade on the TV this morning lol ... pathetic I know.
We have a naked mile run every year here though. 



> but my girl don't wan't to go anymore cause she ends up staring at peoples' asses the whole time. You vertically-challenged folks is funny.


eh, I know how she feels   That's what she has you for  Put her on your shoulders and then she can see everything.


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 1, 2004)

You ran naked?    Got any pics? 




			
				Katia7 said:
			
		

> eh, I know how she feels   That's what she has you for  Put her on your shoulders and then she can see everything.


I wanted to before, but she doesn't like that either.  You women are just impossible to please, sometimes.


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## Katia7 (Nov 1, 2004)

> You ran naked?  Got any pics?


Nooooo, I could never do that. I just watch 



> I wanted to before, but she doesn't like that either. You women are just impossible to please, sometimes.


We just like to make things difficult sometimes.. it's more fun that way


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 1, 2004)

How's your training going?  You've been slacking on that journal, young lady.


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## Katia7 (Nov 1, 2004)

It's going. Just too lazy to post everything.  And posting all of it is making me obcess about it  
What happened to yourse? You never post it.


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 1, 2004)

I don't see any reason to post workouts.  This journal was always intended just for fun.  If I wanted a serious one, I would have come up with a better name.  

For the record I'm up to 187 lbs.  Gonna be bulking till the wedding, then we'll see.


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## Katia7 (Nov 1, 2004)

> For the record I'm up to 187 lbs. Gonna be bulking till the wedding, then we'll see.


niiiice  
Whe is the wedding?


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 1, 2004)

Jan 16th....if I make it in one piece.


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## Katia7 (Nov 1, 2004)

Wow that's soon 
What is up with everyone getting married lately? I'm about to go do the same lol.


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 1, 2004)

You should stay single babe, it's way more fun. (Especially in NY) 

Well we've been together about 5 years, so it's not all that soon.  Personally i think she just wants to marry me for my great health insurance benefits.


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## Katia7 (Nov 1, 2004)

5 years???? Yeah, it's time!

By the time I get to NY everyone is going to be married off.


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 1, 2004)

Your arrival might cause a few divorces.


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## Katia7 (Nov 1, 2004)

Yeah, and then I'll get killed ... either way I lose


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## tucker01 (Nov 1, 2004)

Hey Asspirate How goes it?

No not you Katia, the Buttmunch owner of this Journal


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## Katia7 (Nov 1, 2004)

IainDaniel... cute avatar!


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 1, 2004)

IainDaniel said:
			
		

> Hey Asspirate How goes it?
> 
> No not you Katia, the Buttmunch owner of this Journal


I'm alright Iain.  
How are you?  How's "your" kid doing?  Has the mailman demanded visitation rights yet?   




By the way, Var recently "came out" regarding you two, in this journal.  I thought it was sweet of him, but you should still be ashamed for taking advantage of the mentally...lacking, like that.  


			
				Var said:
			
		

> Iain wuz good.


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 1, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> IainDaniel... cute avatar!


Yes, the boy must have had a good-looking father, and if Iain ever catches up to him........


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## tucker01 (Nov 1, 2004)

Thanks Katia


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## tucker01 (Nov 1, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> I'm alright Iain.
> How are you?  How's "your" kid doing?  Has the mailman demanded visitation rights yet?



Yes I am a very lucky man having a female Mail person.  Just don't tell my wife would ya, she still thinks that the stork delivered this baby 



			
				MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> By the way, Var recently "came out" regarding you two, in this journal.  I thought it was sweet of him, but you should still be ashamed for taking advantage of the mentally...lacking, like that.



Dammit,  I knew that Dimwitted retard couldn't keep his trap shut.  No wonder he has such a liking for you, since you constantly keep it full


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 1, 2004)

So she thinks you banged a stork?  Perv. 

Var's not my type.  Don't get me wrong, I like retards a lot.  They're low maintenance, they rarely talk back (and if they do, usually it's just random droolings), and best of all they almost never say, "No!"  
I just prefer my retards less.......penisy.


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 8, 2004)

I've broken the 3,000 posts barrier......life will never be the same again.


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## Katia7 (Nov 8, 2004)




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## MaxMirkin (Nov 9, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

>


Is the hypnosis still in effect, or do you just wanna worship me for my overwhelming sexiness?


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## BritChick (Nov 9, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Is the hypnosis still in effect, or do you just wanna worship me for my overwhelming sexiness?



It has to be the latter Max!   
Hey, how are ya? Just popping by to say hello.


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 9, 2004)

I'm all right.  2 more months of freedom left.  

You should pop by more often, it's always a pleasure.


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## Katia7 (Nov 9, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Is the hypnosis still in effect, or do you just wanna worship me for my overwhelming sexiness?


all of the above


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## tucker01 (Nov 9, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> I'm all right.  2 more months of freedom left.




HahAHAHAHAahhahah.......................HAHAHAHAHHAAH..............breath.............HAHAHAHAHA
Sucka


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## BritChick (Nov 9, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> I'm all right.  2 more months of freedom left.



Wow you sound pretty damn excited there Max.


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## BritChick (Nov 13, 2004)

Where the hell are you Max  
Miss those smart ass comments of yours flying around!


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 16, 2004)

Marriage update:  Tomorrow I'm getting license, thurs we're gonna have the ceremony in City Hall to get the certificate.  The wedding is still not till Jan. 16th, but I no longer care!


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## tucker01 (Nov 16, 2004)

HAHAHAHAHAHA.... HAHAHAHAHA

Sucka


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## tucker01 (Nov 16, 2004)

Just a second...































HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH


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## tucker01 (Nov 16, 2004)

nope oh wait












HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


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## tucker01 (Nov 16, 2004)

ok remember Breath.....





HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 16, 2004)

Bastard!


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## Katia7 (Nov 16, 2004)

> Marriage update: Tomorrow I'm getting license, thurs we're gonna have the ceremony in City Hall to get the certificate. The wedding is still not till Jan. 16th, but I no longer care!


Oh common, you know you're excited.


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 16, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> Oh common, you know you're excited.


 

How are you, babe?  Long time no chat.


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## Katia7 (Nov 16, 2004)

I'm good.  Counting days till January   I can't wait!


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 16, 2004)

Katia7 said:
			
		

> I'm good.  Counting days till January   I can't wait!


Nice!  How's are the workouts going?  Any new pics?


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## Katia7 (Nov 16, 2004)

How in the world do you post so fast?  You've got tallent!

Workouts are going... no new pics until I get into a "picture taking shape".. but you'll probably get to see me in person before that.


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## BritChick (Nov 16, 2004)

Well here I am... abuse me!


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 16, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> Well here I am... abuse me!


I cunt, baby, I just cunt bring myself to do it!


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## BritChick (Nov 16, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> I cunt, baby, I just cunt bring myself to do it!



 Aww go on, I bet you can if you put your mind to it!
Actually I am considering quitting cursing, it's very unbecoming.


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 16, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> Aww go on, I bet you can if you put your mind to it!
> Actually I am considering quitting cursing, it's very unbecoming.


You are a poo-poo head!


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 16, 2004)

Maybe if you start, that will give me the ammo I need.


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## BritChick (Nov 16, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> You are a poo-poo head!



OMG is that the best you can do?! Come on now don't be shy!


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 16, 2004)

You're a bollock of a cunt.


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 16, 2004)

Me thinks your blood pudding has curdled!


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 16, 2004)

You suck!!!!!

(That's it, I give up!  You're just too hot, babe.  i can't concentrate long enough on insults, when I think of you.  )


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## GoalGetter (Nov 16, 2004)

Methinks, BC is too much woman for the Maxturbator to handle.


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## BritChick (Nov 16, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> You're a bollock of a cunt.


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 16, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> Methinks, BC is too much woman for the Maxturbator to handle.


Want to join in?  I might be able to think of something?


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## BritChick (Nov 16, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> You suck!!!!!
> 
> (That's it, I give up!  You're just too hot, babe.  i can't concentrate long enough on insults, when I think of you.  )



Damn Max, we need to work on this... I'm here for you buddy, it's a sad state of affairs when a girlie can't even get a decent insult!


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## GoalGetter (Nov 16, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Want to join in?  I might be able to think of something?


 no way, i'm enjoying this too much -- watching you crash and burn.


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 16, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> Damn Max, we need to work on this... I'm here for you buddy, it's a sad state of affairs when a girlie can't even get a decent insult!


You've had more dick than Pat + Var!!!!!!


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 16, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> no way, i'm enjoying this too much -- watching you crash and burn.


DDR is gay!


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## BritChick (Nov 16, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> You've had more dick than Pat + Var!!!!!!



Are you SURE about that, I dunno... could be close counts.


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## GoalGetter (Nov 16, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> DDR is gay!


 Sticks and stones, my dear. Try harder. You're really reaching there...


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 16, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> Are you SURE about that, I dunno... could be close counts.


 You rub monkeys!!!!


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## BritChick (Nov 16, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> You rub monkeys!!!!



You say that like it's a bad thing.


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 16, 2004)

GoalGetter said:
			
		

> Sticks and stones, my dear. Try harder. You're really reaching there...


You're easy, and love pokemon.  Your motto when it comes to both activities: "Gotta catch 'em all!"


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 16, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> You say that like it's a bad thing.


You're the toughest British guy i know!


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## BritChick (Nov 16, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> You're the toughest British guy i know!



And you say that like it would be a hard thing! lol


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 16, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> And you say that like it would be a hard thing! lol


You're old enough to be GoalGetter's age!


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## BritChick (Nov 16, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> You're old enough to be GoalGetter's age!



Well at least you've confused me! lol


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 16, 2004)

I figured I'd bring both of you down with one sweet shot, gramma!


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## BritChick (Nov 16, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> I figured I'd bring both of you down with one sweet shot, gramma!



Hey baby I am 34 and proud of it.


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 16, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> Hey baby I am 34 and proud of it.


Is that in Goddess years?  (Shit! That was a complement, wasn't it?)  

Sorry babe, I'm just naturally sweet and it's very hard for me to insult anyone.  Can I just go back to worshipping the ground your heavenly body treads upon?


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## BritChick (Nov 16, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> Is that in Goddess years?  (Shit! That was a complement, wasn't it?)
> 
> Sorry babe, I'm just naturally sweet and it's very hard for me to insult anyone.  Can I just go back to worshipping the ground your heavenly body treads upon?



Oh alright then, twist my arm.


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 16, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> Oh alright then, twist my arm.


So you like it rough, then?  Excellent!  I'll get the whips & chains, you provide the popcorn.  

P.S. Gerbil not optional, and I don't share mine with anyone!


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## BritChick (Nov 16, 2004)

MaxMirkin said:
			
		

> So you like it rough, then?  Excellent!  I'll get the whips & chains, you provide the popcorn.
> 
> P.S. Gerbil not optional, and I don't share mine with anyone!



 

I was right there with ya until you brought in the Gerbil, I don't like furry critters... if you are willing to shave him I will consider it, since it seems so important to you.


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 16, 2004)

BritChick said:
			
		

> I was right there with ya until you brought in the Gerbil, I don't like furry critters... if you are willing to shave him I will consider it, since it seems so important to you.


Even if his name is Var?


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## MaxMirkin (Nov 22, 2004)

Progress!  Weighed in at 195 lbs this morning!!!! (Nearly 50% of that has got to be muscle!  )


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