# MonStar's Journal: Self-Control



## M.J.H. (Jul 22, 2004)

Yes, another journal. Shutup! 

I named this journal "Self-Control" because that's exactly what I need to focus on. I am not going to sit here and f*cking feel sorry for myself. I am not going to b*tch and moan about why I binge, or why I can't stick to a diet, etc. Because by doing these things I try and convince myself that I am not the one who is in control. I am the only one who puts the godd*mn food in my mouth, so I am going to be the one *controlling* what goes into my mouth. 

My training is going to be kept simple, heavy as usual, upper and lower body split. 2 days on and then 1 day off. Nothing too complex at all. Basically just focusing on have a *moderate* lifestyle. On my rest day I am going to do HIIT. Sprints, at a local track. I am not going obsess about every little meal or anything like that at all, I am so sick of being stressed out about every little thing. I am not going to be weighing myself everyday, because that's just an awful habit. 

I need all of the support that you guys are willing to give. Especially from SF and Jen who helped me put together all of this, and realize that NHE was making my binging worse. 

Please feel free to post comments, suggestions, support, advice, questions, whatever you want basically, as long as it relates to my journal.


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## ncgirl21 (Jul 22, 2004)

Good Luck   !! I think your going to do great


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## Jill (Jul 22, 2004)

What type of meal plan will you be following? I think that what you were doing in the past-low carb and then 1-2 week refeeds of junk would fuck me up. I have binging tendencies, and suffered from eating disorders for several years. JMHO I had a cheat/refeed day on Sat and it really messed with me mentally-I just cant handle it, bringing back old memories. 

What you said is totally true about YOU. Everything you do is your responsibility. Ever read the Dr Phil book, or Overcoming binge eating disorders by Chris Fairburn? Both books helped me tremendously. Binge / bad food urges do pass. Normally people have 5-7 impulse food urges a day.


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## M.J.H. (Jul 22, 2004)

*Andrea:* Thanks so much for stopping by, I really appreciate it. 

*Jill:* Wow, thanks for the really informative post! I have been suffering from binge eating for years now I would say. It's definitely a tough thing to deal with, that's for sure. I am not even sure how it started. Back when I first started training I would concentrate so hard on eating clean and then every now and then I would "go off my diet" and pig out. I have been doing so ever since. I agree that I am the only one who can control what I eat. Which Dr. Phil book are you talking about? I usually always like his opinion on most topics. I'll have to swing by Borders tonight and pick one of those up. Do you recommend one over the other? Thanks again!


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## M.J.H. (Jul 22, 2004)

7-22-2004​
*Upper Body*

*Incline DB Presses:*
100's x 10
110's x 8
*120's x 6!* 

*Smith-Machine Military Presses:* 
160 x 8
180 x 5 (2) 

*Flat DB Flyes:* 
80's x 5 (3) 
70's x 8

*8" Lockouts:* 
315 x 3 (3)
275 x 6 (2)

Good workout today I think. Intensity was definitely there, that's for sure. Focus was also really really good I think. I am going to sell my MP3 player on Ebay though and buy a new one, haha. The one I have I can't attach to my arm or anything like I see everyone else doing, lol. Anyway, hit a big PR in incline DB presses. The 120's for 6 is definitely a huge PR for me. Those are the heaviest DB's in the gym and I hit 6 clean reps no problem at all. 

Moved onto some military presses, not too bad at all there. Also some flat DB flyes. Flyes really beat up my pecs nicely, really good sets there IMO. Couldn't think of a good triceps exercise to do so I decided to really shock my CNS and do lockouts last. I was DRAINED by the time I got to them, lol. Really exhausting sets of lockouts. Elbows and triceps were burnt. 

I have decided that I am going to shoot for approximately 75-100 reps per workout. Hit 86 today. This way I'll keep my volume a bit lower and focus more on intensity. 

Diet: 
- MRP + 1% milk
- Gatorade + V-12 during workout
- whey protein postworkout
- 1/2 whole-wheat turkey & cheese sandwich
- Trioplex bar
- grilled chicken sandwich, peaches
- whole-wheat tuna sandwich, low-carb milk 

Diet was clean today, not too bad at all I don't think. I am going to try and replace all of my milk intake with low-carb milk. Simply because it's just all around SO MUCH better for you. I mean a cup of low-carb milk is 12g of protein and way less sugar, etc. 

Sleep: 8 hours. 

Weight: 223.5 lbs. Going to be weighing myself roughly once a week. Just to keep a rough track of my weight loss/gain. 

Started back up with M1T today. Going to most likely be doing the same kind of cycle that I did before. The first week 10mg, the 2nd week 15mg, and the 3rd and final week 20mg per day.


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## gwcaton (Jul 22, 2004)

Congrats on the PR !  And good luck on the new goals !


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## JerseyDevil (Jul 22, 2004)

I'm having deja vu all over again .  Nice PR Mike!


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## Jill (Jul 22, 2004)

The Ultimate weight loss solutions I think is what Dr Phills book is. (its at home, Im at work) I would probably recommend the Binge eating book first though. The Dr Phill book is really really good too. I found that 'binging' is usually a result of restricting certain foods When they are no longer restricted, they are not as desireable.  Ever thought of therapy? One thing a therapist told me is that once you have an eating disorder, you will ALWAYS have one-similar to an alcoholic. You just need to control it.

Good luck.


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## atherjen (Jul 22, 2004)

its too hot to type...........  

but all I got to say is dig out the apron babyy!!  































Ok on a more serious note, this approach will undoubtfuly be hard and stressful at time but Mikster, DIG DEEP, as I know that you truly have it in you. If you helped me so much as to realize that, I can only help to repay the support.  
Best of luck! 
btw, I think Jillys idea about getting Dr.Phils book is a solid one. Although I have not read it myself, my friends mother said that it truly has changed her perspective of things


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## PreMier (Jul 22, 2004)

Yes... join a womans book club while reading Dr. Phil 

Good luck man.


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## yellowmoomba (Jul 22, 2004)

PreMier said:
			
		

> Yes... join a womans book club while reading Dr. Phil
> 
> Good luck man.



 Good one PM!!    

Monstar -
Good luck with the new journal....    120 x 6 on incline !!


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## M.J.H. (Jul 22, 2004)

*gwcaton:* Thanks so much for stopping by man, really appreciate it. I was very very pleased hitting 120's on incline for 6 reps. Not too shabby. 

*JerseyDevil:* LOL, everyone is. Thanks for the support. 

*Jill:* I stopped by Borders tonight looking for the first book you mentioned. I couldn't find it, so instead I got a book that looked really good called "Binge No More, Your Guide to Overcoming Disordered Eating" by Joyce Nash, PH.D. I'll definitely keep you posted on how I feel about it. I have considered therapy in the past, never got to the point though that I went through with it. Although, at times, I definitely should have. That's interesting about binging because you're lacking or restricting something in your diet. Thanks so much for all the help though Jill! I wouldn't have even gone out and bought a book on binging if you hadn't posted here today.  

*Jen:* Hey, thanks for all that you have said/done, really appreciate it as you know. I am hoping that this is my last journal here at IM. I really don't want to binge and then start a new journal the next day, like I have an awful habit of doing. Thanks again for stopping by. My workouts I really think are going to take off now that I have carbs back in my system, and I am starting M1T again. 

*PreMier:* LOL, whatever works man! Thanks for stopping by. 

*yellowmoomba:* Thanks for stopping by bro, appreciate it. Yeah I was really really happy with my strength inclines today, that's for sure. I am usually a p*ssy on inclines.


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## atherjen (Jul 22, 2004)

That book sounds like a good read then, let us know how it helps you  You could also look online at amazon or some American bookstore for Dr.Phils book. 

diet today is looking good!  
what kind of Trioplex bar? I havent had one in a while...  their addicting, watch out!! lol 

and 120s is just sick.


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## Monolith (Jul 22, 2004)

Hey Mon, any reason youre ramping up the dose of M1T again?  Usually its only helpful to do it on a first cycle, so you can see how you react to the androgen.  It might be worth it to just start out at 15 or 20, instead of wasting days at a dose that doesnt work for ya.


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## M.J.H. (Jul 22, 2004)

*Jen:* Yeah I will definitely keep posted about how the book is, I am really intertested to start reading it. We'll see what happens. I think reading this book and applying some self-control, I should overcome this binging habit. I am not a weak person in any part of my personality EXCEPT for this. I mean drinking, I cut that out completely. It wasn't a problem at all. Diet today has been pretty good. The Trioplex bar was peanut butter banana I think, and it was GREAT! I love those damn bars, lol. 

*Monolith:* Hmmm, that's interesting bro. You bring up an interestnig point, actually. I am thinking that maybe I should bump it up to 15mg for 2 weeks maybe and then 20mg for the other 2 weeks? I don't know, I am going to post a thread in the supplements forum, get some opinions. Thanks man!


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## PreMier (Jul 22, 2004)

Were you seeing gains on the M-1T at 15mg a day?  During which week did you respond best(from first cycle)?
The reason being, if you responded well at 10mg a day then why waste money(I know its cheap) running more than needed?


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## M.J.H. (Jul 22, 2004)

*PreMier:* I am honestly thinking 15mg per day because I cut the 20mg per day short. But does this mean I should run 15mg the entire cycle or what? All I know is that the last time around at 20mg per day I was definitely feeling foggy minded, etc. And at 10mg I think I was just getting the stuff into my system. But some definitely good points, PM.


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## PreMier (Jul 22, 2004)

Thats what I would do.  Run the 15mg ED for 3-4 weeks.  Also check your PM.


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## M.J.H. (Jul 22, 2004)

*PreMier:* Thanks bro, really appreciate it. I think I will in fact run 15mg for 3-4 weeks. That's probably much more effective than what I was planning on doing anyway. Thanks for link as well man, appreciate it!


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## PreMier (Jul 22, 2004)

No problem Mike


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## Monolith (Jul 22, 2004)

lmao, MM is gonna be getting a lot of business from IM it seems


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## JerseyDevil (Jul 23, 2004)

Mike, if you are going to go 4 weeks with m1t, I highly recommend stacking a transdermal 4AD like 4Derm with it.  It will really help the lethargy, and give you better gains.  4Derm is no where near as harsh as S1+ on the skin.


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## I'm Trying (Jul 23, 2004)

Good luck buddy!! Jen is right those Trioplex bars are addicting. I love the p-nut butter choc. chip.


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## atherjen (Jul 23, 2004)

a new AVI!  I always thought it was better you put yourself for one! 

I know your not weak(mentally)- thats why I know that you can do this


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## Jill (Jul 23, 2004)

Hot hot hot avi.


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## Jenny (Jul 23, 2004)

Hey Mike  I think you're showing a lot of strength by starting to really deal with this. You've had some great replys here and I'm so glad you got that book, I'm sure it will help you lots. I've had binging tendencies as well and recovered from bulimia about 4 years ago, so I know how hard things can be. Keep working at it and you'll beat it!
New avvy looks great btw


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## M.J.H. (Jul 23, 2004)

*PreMier:* Thanks again bro, I really appreciate it. You're saving me money on a PCT. 

*Monolith:* LOL, well they have a new customer! 

*JerseyDevil:* Hey man, thanks for chiming in. I am going to look into 4Derm and see what I think about it. I never really had all that bad of side effects the first time around on M1T by itself. I am not sure why. I mean a general sense of foggy mindedness but nothing ephedrine and some contact rewetting drops couldn't cure, lol. 

*I'm Trying:* Hey man, yeah those damn Trioplex bars are great. I really like the way their texture isn't a typical protein bar either. Makes them that much better IMO. 

*Jen:* Hey there, yeah I thought it was about time I changed my avatar. And it seems that everyone else is putting themselves as the avatar so I might as welll. Even if the pic is tiny after resizing it. Yeah I think that with enough focus I should be able to stop my binging without much of a problem. 

BTW, so far this book is great. Has hit a few things right on the head that I experience. 

*Jill:* Aww, thanks so much, appreciate it! 

*Jenny:* Hey there, nice to see a new face. Yeah honestly going and purchasing a book and admitting that there is a problem was a big step I think. I think I am going to stop this once and for all honestly. I have more support now than ever, I am continuing to read a book about how to overcome it, etc. Thanks for the kind words about my avatar, I guess it was a good idea to change, lol.


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## M.J.H. (Jul 23, 2004)

7-23-2004​
*Lower Body*

*Hack Squats:* 
500 x 8
590 x 6
*680 x 3!*
590 x 6

*T-Bar Rows:* 
315 x 6 (2)
360 x 3
360 x 5
*385 x 2!*

*Nautilus Lying Leg Curls:* 
220 x 6 (2)
Stack x 3 (2)

*Nautilus Pullovers:* 
260 x 12 (2) 

*Concentration Curls:* 
40's x 10
50's x 5 

Good workout today! I can definitely tell that I am on M1T already. Not only because of my workout intensity but because it gives me that foggy minded feeling in the gym. I notice that right away for whatever reason, I am not really sure what causes it. It's not too bad at all at 15mg per day. It was definitely worse at 20mg per day. Anyway, hit a PR on hack squats. Really used a ton of weight there. Something like 7 plates on each side I think. Whatever. Nice PR. 

Moved onto some ghetto t-bar rows, worked all the way up to 7 plates and a 25 for 2. Actually hit 3 but the 3rd rep I didn't bring the plates up to touch my chest, so I didn't count it. As you can imagine some momentum was used. Lying leg curls were good, not much to say. Pullovers were good too. Lats were pumped, lol. Finished up with some concentration curls, Ahhhnold style, lol, using the non-working hand to lean on something. I prefer them standing vs. seated.

Diet: 
- MRP + 1% milk
- Gatorade + V-12 during workout
- whey protein postworkout
- Trioplex bar
- 1/2 whole-wheat turkey & cheese sandwich
- mixed nuts
- cajun chicken salad 
- Balance Gold bar 
- 1/2 whole-wheat tuna sandwich

Damn, I was starving today! Oh well.  

Sleep: 7.5 hours. 

Today is day 2 of M1T, at 15mg. So far just noticing some minor foggy mindedness. Nothing too bad at all.


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## yellowmoomba (Jul 23, 2004)

Are you taking anything with the M1T??


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## ncgirl21 (Jul 23, 2004)

Love the avi


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## M.J.H. (Jul 23, 2004)

*yellowmoomba:* Just some milk thistle bro, nothing else. I am going to be taking 15mg per day for 3 weeks and seeing how I feel at that point, maybe even run a 4th week. We'll see. 

*Andrea:* Aww, thanks so much! I really appreciate it.


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## PreMier (Jul 23, 2004)

Your not taking the Milk Thistle at the SAME time as the M-1T are you?  Saved for after right?


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## Jenny (Jul 24, 2004)

Yesterdays meals look good!  Don't worry about eating when you're hungry, it's the body's signals you need to listen too and just stay away from the binging! Keep it up Mon, we're all supporting you!


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## M.J.H. (Jul 24, 2004)

*PreMier:* I was actually taking it with the M1T, I am guessing that's a bad idea? I can save it for after if that would be more effective. Also, bro, if you don't mind can you PM me with the info about Nolva again. Thanks man. 

*Jenny:* Hey, thanks so much for stopping by, really appreciate it a lot. Yeah, some days I am just starving and other days I don't feel all that hungry at all, it's kinda' weird actually. But for the most part I feel my body whenever it's hungry, lol, that's definitely not a problem. Thanks again for the post.


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## M.J.H. (Jul 24, 2004)

7-24-2004​
*Rest*

Took a rest day today, like I said I am going to be running 2 days on, 1 day off. For the most part, unless for some reason my work schedule does not permit it. 

*HIIT:*
Did around 15 minutes of sprints this morning. I did 12 sprints, they were roughly 50 yards each in the grass, and slightly uphill. These were absolutely exhausting. I am not sure why, but they kicked my f*ckin' a*s. 

Diet: 
- MRP + 1% milk + banana 
- Trioplex bar
- 1/2 whole-wheat turkey & cheese sandwich, mixed fruit
- 2 pieces of baked chicken, rice
- mixed nuts 
- high-protein cookie 
- 1/2 whole-wheat tuna sandwich, low-carb milk 

Diet was okay today I think, too many protein bars, though, whatever. Overall I think that I took in a lot of food for a rest day, oh well. 

Sleep: 7 hours. 

Today is day 3 of M1T, taking 5mg 3x per day. So far like usual I am just noticing the typical lethargy, etc.


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## P-funk (Jul 24, 2004)

> Took a rest day today, like I said I am going to be running 2 days on, 1 day off. For the most part, unless for some reason my work schedule does not permit it.



preparing for the NY Marathon?


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## M.J.H. (Jul 24, 2004)

*P-funk:* LOL, not exactly. I just meant 2 days in a row of training, 1 day rest. Although you would have probably thought so based on my running today. I hate running so much, lol. Sprints are not all that bad, I guess.


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## atherjen (Jul 25, 2004)

woohoo on the sprints!!  ass kicking ones are good!  but if you didnt puke up that banana and MRP then they werent hard enough........ lol jk!  

diet looks great, aside from just 1 too many protein bars, 1 is fine, but hey, consistancy not perfection!


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## M.J.H. (Jul 25, 2004)

*Jen:* Yeah, woohoo alright, lol. Those sprints kicked my friggin' a*s. I really do need to run with a partner though to honestly push myself. When I ran before with my ex-girlfriend's little brother even then he was kinda' pushing me. Yeah I know I ate one too many protein bars, lol. They're just so damn convenient.


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## M.J.H. (Jul 25, 2004)

7-25-2004​
*Upper Body*

*Decline BB Presses:*
275 x 8
315 x 5 
*345 x 2!* 
315 x 5 

*Arnold Presses:* 
70's x 8
80's x 4 (2)
*85's x 3!*
90's x 1

*Seated French Presses:* 
125 x 8
145 x 4 (2)
*160 x 2!* 

Had a very early morning workout today, and I had a GREAT workout.  Really really pleased with my strength today. Did it very low volume and really went all out on every exercise. I think from here on out I am going to pick 3 exercises, and just hit them hard and constantly change them up from workout to workout. With just 3 exercises I am fresh and can go all out on each one. 

Started off with decline BB presses, today, friggin' awesome strength! Hit 315 for 5 which was actually a PR as well. Always a great feeling to be repping with 3 plates on each side. Moved onto some Arnold presses, hit the 90's for 1, but then lost my balance. Hit the 85's for a triple which was a huge PR for me. My OH pressing strength always has SUCKED. Finished up with some French presses which beat the hell out of my triceps. Worked all the way up to 160 for 2! Another big PR.  

Diet: 
- banana
- Gatorade + V-12 during workout
- whey protein postworkout
- whole-wheat turkey & cheese sandwich
- Trioplex bar
- beef curry + green peppers + tomato, brown rice 
- MRP + low-carb milk, peaches
- low-carb milk

Honestly, had a bit of a tough time tonight just eating clean. I had this crazy desire to pig out on junkfood, I have no idea why. Maybe because today is usually a refeed on NHE and I am just used to that? I have no idea. I fought the urge though, thank God. 

Sleep: 7 hours. 

Today is day 4 of M1T, still at 15mg per day. So far, so good.


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## gwcaton (Jul 25, 2004)

Nice WO Mike !  Damn Nice !


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## JerseyDevil (Jul 25, 2004)

Yo Mike.  YOU are a stud.  Awesome workout!


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## M.J.H. (Jul 25, 2004)

*gwcaton:* Thanks for stopping by man, appreciate it. I am telling you bro these low-volume workouts are so much better for me. When I am not doing that many total sets I feel like I have to go all out balls to the wall on each set. 

*JerseyDevil:* LOL, thanks man, appreciate it.


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## M.J.H. (Jul 26, 2004)

7-26-2004​
*Lower Body*

*Leg Presses:*
990 x 8
1,080 x 6
1,170 x 4
*1,260 x 3!*
1,260 x 2

*Support Rows:* 
235 x 8
280 x 4 (2)
255 x 6

*Crossbody Hammer Curls:* 
60's x 8
70's x 6
*80's x 7!* 

Good workout today I think. Focus and intensity was pretty damn good. For whatever reason, God knows why, I felt flabby. I have absolutely no idea at all. My diet hasn't been bad at all so I am just going to keep reading my book on binging and hope this passes. It's weird because in my head I try and convince myself that I need to go back to NHE to drop some fat. But in reality I know that's just going to make my binging worse. Whatever .

Hit a new PR on leg presses, left knee is giving me a little trouble, whatever. Support rows really hit my lats hard. Good sets there. Finished up with some crossbody hammers, nice sets. Set with the 80's was very very intense. 

Diet: 
- 3 protein pancakes + peaches
- Gatorade + V-12 during workout
- whey protein postworkout
- whole-wheat turkey & cheese sandwich
- Designer protein bar
- 2 baked chicken breasts, garlic potatoes
- tuna & cheese sandwich
- honey roasted peanuts 

LOL, those protein pancakes were okay. Used a cup of oatmeal, 2 eggs, a scoop of whey, some baking soda, and some Equal, lol. Turned out okay. 

Sleep: 7.5 hours. 

Today is day 5 of M1T, still at 15mg per day. So far, all is well.


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## atherjen (Jul 26, 2004)

STAY FOCUSED Mikster!!!!!  Youve only just made the diet transition to something more healthy and sustainable for a longer haul. Keep on reading, and I truly hope that those books provide some sort of shoulder. Dont forget you have support here  
Diet looked great yestarday, and did I read right????? you made PROTEIN PANCAKES this morning???  right on, but it doesnt sound like your recipe was very good. lol  how about taking 2/3c.oats(dry), 1/2c.cottage cheese, 4-6egg whites(+1yolk if you want) and add some vanilla or cinnamon and sweetner. I also put mine in the blender and make a smooth batter rather than a lumpy one by just mixing the ingredients all together.  try that instead. and make sure you put on that APRON!!!  

leg press is sick. our machine wont even hold that much weight!!!!


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## PreMier (Jul 26, 2004)

MonStar said:
			
		

> *PreMier:* I was actually taking it with the M1T, I am guessing that's a bad idea? I can save it for after if that would be more effective. Also, bro, if you don't mind can you PM me with the info about Nolva again. Thanks man.



Yea, it may actually cause the M-1T to be less effective.

*This is from Designer Supps website:*
A Word About Liver Protectants 

A lot of people have been using liver protectant supplements such as Silymarin and NAC to help protect their liver from damage when using methylated compounds. However, I feel that this is a bad idea. When you use compounds that increase gluthione levels in the liver, it will increase the breakdown of oral drugs, making them less effective. Although increasing liver enzymes is good for your liver, it is bad for any drugs you want to take and allow them to pass through your liver unabated. A better idea would be to use liver protectant supplements before and after a cycle to help your liver rebuild its enzymes after they have been damaged by methylated compounds. 

I have no idea if using liver protectants on a cycle will inhibit gains in any significant degree, but it could. Keep that in mind when planning your cycle.


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## Jill (Jul 26, 2004)

I totally feel like pigging out today, dont know why, just in a pissy mood-I can relate to your post yesterday about wanting to pig out. Ive resisited so far-just a couple of reeses pieces 

Are those my protein pancakes???? Use cottage cheese too-It'll make em moister. Oh and use baking powder too-It'll make em grow!!!!!


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## M.J.H. (Jul 26, 2004)

*Jen:* Hey there, thanks for the support, really appreciate it. I managed to stick it out today with my diet. Even though it was honestly a real pain in my a*s, lol. The protein pancakes were definitely pretty damn tasty. I know I do need to add some friggin' cottage cheese! Those pancakes weren't bad but they were definitely different, that's for sure, lol. They needed a little something else. They might have been good with maple syrup but that would have defeated the whole idea. They filled me up, that's for sure. Going to try and make them a little differently tomorrow morning. 

BTW, my leg press holds a bit more than that actually. But its  somewhat a limited ROM, I can't go deep because of the safety stopper things. Oh well. 

*PreMier:* Thanks for the info man, really really appreciate it. I dropped the milk thistle completely. I am going to save it for after my M1T cycle. So far at 15mg my gains have been good IMO. Gotta' hurry up and order that damn Nolva. 

*Jill:* Hey there, hang in there! I definitely stuck it out yesterday and today, and trust me, I was trying to come up with some excuse to pig out. Just stick it out it's really not worth it. The temporary good feeling of pigging out isn't worth it for the damage that it causes the next few days, etc. Yeah I couldn't find any damn baking powder so I used baking soda, lol, obviously not the same thing.


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## M.J.H. (Jul 27, 2004)

7-27-2004​
*Rest*

Took a rest day today. Wanted to go out and do some sprints but its friggin' pooring outside. I am going to try and go running after work if its not raining like it is now. We'll see. 

*HIIT:* 
Went out after work tonight in the friggin' rain and kicked my a*s. Ran 14 sprints, they were ~50 yards or so each, roughly. Sprinted down, walked back, and repeated. Did them in a parking lot which I much prefer over grass. 

Diet: 
- 3 protein pancakes + peaches
- honey roasted peanuts
- whole-wheat turkey & cheese sandwich
- 2 chicken breasts, rice, green beans
- melon
- whole-wheat tuna & cheese sandwich
- 1/2 whole-wheat tuna sandwich 
- 2 scoops of ice-cream 

Damn, I ended up eating a lot today! Decided to cheat a little tonight and have a few scoops of ice-cream. Honestly, it's not going to kill me, and according to this binge book regularly treating myself is a good thing. So we'll see what happens. 

Sleep: 7 hours. 

Today is day 6 of M1T, still at 15mg per day. So far, so good.


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## Jill (Jul 27, 2004)

MonStar said:
			
		

> Diet:
> - 3 protein pancakes + peaches
> .


 They are addicting eh???? Just dont buy any sf popsicles  They are just as addicting!!!!

Its about to rain here today too-cloudy and muggy.


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## Saturday Fever (Jul 27, 2004)

Hey man, just wanted to maybe give you something motivational. 

Stick to your guns. Even if you have a bad day, you're not letting anyone down, not even yourself. 

Keep up the good work.



			
				Jill said:
			
		

> sf popsicles



I don't think this is the right place to be discussing me or my popsicles.


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## PreMier (Jul 27, 2004)

I would definately suggest ordering that ASAP!  It takes 2-3 weeks to get to you, and you dont want to be waiting on it.  Thats a "no no".  If it doesnt arrive in time, I would suggest running the M-1T untill it does(although not longer than 4 weeks).


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## M.J.H. (Jul 27, 2004)

*Jill:* Hey there, yeah those damn pancakes are friggin' great. I don't even use cottage cheese but using peaches for syrup really makes them tasty IMO. I really think that if I had some better tasting whey protein they would be better as well. I wish I could substitute something more powderish rather than oatmeal, oh well. Where are you from again, I'm sorry. 

BTW, the binge book so far is awesome. Great read. I have been reading lately about different kinds of binges. Binging because of deprivation, stress, out of habit, etc. 

*SF:* Thanks for stopping by man, really really appreciate it. Feel free as usual to offer suggestions or advice about my training. You know I am always looking for your input. 

*PreMier:* Yeah I know man, damnit, I know. I lost my credit/debit card the other day and I havn't had a chance to run to my bank and get a new one yet. So as soon as I do that I'll be all set.


----------



## Jill (Jul 27, 2004)

Hey, try this for suryp. Strawberries ore blueberries. Microwave for around 1min, add splenda and it makes like a surypie topping! If you get an icky type of protein, the pancakes are not near as good. Did you try the chocolate ones yet?

Im glad the new booking is working out for you.

Oh ya, Im from Canada, Edmonton AB.


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## M.J.H. (Jul 28, 2004)

*Jill:* Wow, now that sounds like my kind of syrup! I am definitely going to try that though Jill, thanks so much for the idea. I might try and warm up my peaches tomorrow morning since I won't have a chance to go to the store. I'll figure something out. I use choclate protein powder, so I am not sure what you mean by choclate ones? Is that what you're talking about? Ahh, you're a Canadian aye? Delawarian here, lol.


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## atherjen (Jul 28, 2004)

Mikster you did SPRINTS IN THE RAIN?!   what is becoming of you!  haha good job! thats what I call dedicated! I no longer feel so crazy! 

diet is looking so much improved! how are you feeling? 
Glad the book is helping too!


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## sara (Jul 28, 2004)

MonStar, You doing Great!! 
Keep up the good work


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## fantasma62 (Jul 28, 2004)

Hey, just a word from someone new to the board.
I looked good, I felt good, I binged, now I look and feel bad...I let myself go.
You are lucky, you caught yourself right on time. A lot of people don't and then blame others for their eating habits (Yup, I did that...). 
You have taken the first step by understanding that you are in control. You are the "the boss of you", and any mistakes you make with yourself are yours to fix, and the best part about it is that they are all sooooo fixable... 
I wish you nothing but the best on your quest to get back into the shape you want to be in. I am on my way back also, so we'll see what happens...


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## M.J.H. (Jul 28, 2004)

*Jen:* Yeah, I did sprints in the rain last night, lol. I honestly usually talk myself out of doing them but for whatever reason they didn't bother me last night. Maybe I should start doing my HIIT late at night, lol. Anyway, diet has been okay, ate 2 scoops of ice-cream last night. Didn't bother me at all. I mean the stuff is 120 calories per 1/2 cup, I know its not going to kill me. I am going to try and moderate cheat every couple of days, to prevent a big all out binge. Just see how that works for me. I think as long as the majority of my calories are clean throwing in some junk here and there isn't going to hurt. 

*sara:* Hey there, thanks so much for stopping by, I really appreciate it! 

*fantasma62:* Hey man, thanks for stopping by, really motivational post. I am really trying my hardest to get in complete control of my life, and what I put in my body, etc. For a while I was splurging on alcohol and all that so I cut that out completely, with no problem at all. I think I just need to do the same thing with my food intake. I am the only one who can put the food in my mouth. Just like last night when I decided to have a few scoops of ice-cream I hadn't really had any junk in the past few days or so, so I don't think there is anything wrong with that.


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## fantasma62 (Jul 28, 2004)

Monstar,


I have been there and it still isn't pretty 

What Doctors and dietitians have done in the past is getting you to think that "cheating" is a bad thing.  They shame you and give you the mind set that you should feel guilty about it.  That is BS.  You can ask anyone, in fact, read a few of the posts here, I have read people who say, listen, I had a piece of cheesecake today, and then continue on with their lives.  Everybody is normally ashamed of cheating, even if you eat something as small as a caramel.
That's why you see so many people yo-yoing.  They, sorry, WE lose weight and look somewhat decent to then cheat with something as tiny as a candy that will throw a monkey wrench into their psyche.  Then they (ME) get in the club of those who keep starting diets over and over and gain and lose and so on...I am not only the president of the club, I am also a client, and a fan favorite... 
Why should you feel guilty...Feel happy.  Everything in life is to be enjoyed, everything.  You had ice cream? a beer?  Big f'ing deal.  If you do this every day, then that's a problem, but if you do this once in a blue moon, well hell, you are just enjoying life.  In fact, I recommend that once in a while you cheat so that you keep your goals intact, otherwise you'll cheat, feel ashamed, get depressed and then the worse of all cheats, binging.
Cheat, in fact, when you reach a goal, give yourself a gift.   Eat a piece of cheesecake, have a beer.  Once you reach your goal, you'll know exactly all the crap that you had to go thru to get there and you won't do it again....

Why is it that I am being the "do as I say, but not as I do" person?  Because every fat person in this world knows everything there is to know about dieting, about what is good and what is not good, and most importantly, what it'll take to be healthy and fit.  Every fat person can tell you clinical facts about being fat and what may happen if the trend continues.  We are simply sitting on our asses instead of doing something about it.
Sorry about the lenth of this post, but I just had to get that out, not only to help you, but to help me too, so that I can say that I am doing something about it, not just sitting on my ass....


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## M.J.H. (Jul 28, 2004)

*fantasma62:* Wow, another great post bro. Really really informative, I appreciate you taking the time to post it. I completely agree with what you're saying, cheating is looked so down upon. That's what I keep reading about in this book on binging. How we are so stressed with eating to eat clean or not to even waste our time. Drives me for one, completely crazy. I think that as long as the majority of your diet is clean, cheating is perfectly fine. I mean a couple hundred calories from ice-cream every couple of days is not going to make much of a difference. As long is one is training hard in the gym, etc. Thanks again for stopping by.


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## M.J.H. (Jul 28, 2004)

7-28-2004​
*Upper Body*

*Flat DB Presses:* 
110's x 12
*120's x 10!* 
120's x 8

*Push Presses:* 
205 x 5
245 x 4
275 x 2 (2)
185 x 10

*Skullcrushers:* 
125 x 8
145 x 4
145 x 3
115 x 10

A pretty good friggin' workout today. As usual, I am a huge fan of my workouts while on M1T. I just think it makes a world of difference in terms of my workout intensity, and all of that. Started off hitting a HUGE PR in flat DB presses. I usually can get the 120's for 5-6. I know that one time I hit them for 7 and that was a HUGE deal. I hit the 120's for 10 today, and I honestly think if I hit them fresh, I might even be able to squeeze out 1-2 more reps. Strength on them has shot through the roof. Moved onto some push presses. These beat up my right wrist, but still good sets. Hit 275 for 2 doubles, not bad. Finished up with some skullcrushers, not too bad there at all. Elbows and wrists weren't feeling them too much, though. Kind of took it easy on them. Overall workout was great. I LOVE low-volume! 

Diet: 
- 3 protein pancakes + peaches
- Gatorade + V-12 during workout
- whey protein postworkout
- Trioplex bar
- tuna & cheese sandwich, honey roasted peanuts 
- Metrx shake, low-carb choclate 
- 1/2 whole-wheat tuna sandwich, low-carb milk 

Ate a good amount of food today I think, feel like lately I have really been eating a lot more, must be the M1T. 

Sleep: 8.5 hours. 

Today is day 7 of M1T, still at 5mg 3x per day. Feeling great at this point.


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## fantasma62 (Jul 28, 2004)

MonStar said:
			
		

> *fantasma62:* Wow, another great post bro. Really really informative, I appreciate you taking the time to post it. I completely agree with what you're saying, cheating is looked so down upon. That's what I keep reading about in this book on binging. How we are so stressed with eating to eat clean or not to even waste our time. Drives me for one, completely crazy. I think that as long as the majority of your diet is clean, cheating is perfectly fine. I mean a couple hundred calories from ice-cream every couple of days is not going to make much of a difference. As long is one is training hard in the gym, etc. Thanks again for stopping by.


Hey buddy, I really don't mind helping out. I got here a couple of days ago and people have been going out of their way to help me out. 
Besides, I have been where you are right now but I actually caught it 10 years later while you caught it on time.
Any time you need help, I'll do my best....


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## Jill (Jul 28, 2004)

MonStar said:
			
		

> *fantasma62:* Wow, another great post bro. Really really informative, I appreciate you taking the time to post it. I completely agree with what you're saying, cheating is looked so down upon. That's what I keep reading about in this book on binging. How we are so stressed with eating to eat clean or not to even waste our time. Drives me for one, completely crazy. I think that as long as the majority of your diet is clean, cheating is perfectly fine. I mean a couple hundred calories from ice-cream every couple of days is not going to make much of a difference. As long is one is training hard in the gym, etc. Thanks again for stopping by.



I can see the book is helping. BTW, your body is smokin already.


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## Jill (Jul 28, 2004)

fantasma62 said:
			
		

> Monstar,
> 
> 
> I have been there and it still isn't pretty
> ...


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## atherjen (Jul 28, 2004)

what happened to CG bench or cam bar curls? lol at least you did the Push Press!  Id say those are weak... need to work on them a lot 

congrads on the biggo PR... just sick! 




> I completely agree with what you're saying, cheating is looked so down upon. That's what I keep reading about in this book on binging. How we are so stressed with eating to eat clean or not to even waste our time. Drives me for one, completely crazy. I think that as long as the majority of your diet is clean, cheating is perfectly fine. I mean a couple hundred calories from ice-cream every couple of days is not going to make much of a difference. As long is one is training hard in the gym, etc. Thanks again for stopping by



 I sense progress and maybe a bit more peace with food (or maybe I sound wacked). But you just keep that attitude!


----------



## fantasma62 (Jul 28, 2004)

Jill said:
			
		

> fantasma62 said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## fantasma62 (Jul 28, 2004)

atherjen said:
			
		

> what happened to CG bench or cam bar curls? lol at least you did the Push Press!  Id say those are weak... need to work on them a lot
> 
> congrads on the biggo PR... just sick!
> 
> ...


Pardon me, but I don't think you sound wacked, in fact you are making more sense to me than you think.  Believe me, this is good to read for Monstar as well as for me.  In fact, reading other's journals and writing my own is like therapy...


----------



## M.J.H. (Jul 29, 2004)

*fantasma62:* Thanks so much for the posts man, again, really appreciate it. It is definitely somewhat of a b*tch to stick it out and focus on keeping my diet clean and all that. But the more I get in the habit of NOT binging, the better I feel. Honestly lately I havn't really had that disgusting fat feeling like I do the day after a big binge, etc. So that's definitely a good thing. As long as I continue eating whenever I am hungry, I think I should be fine. Whenever I get slightly hungry at all, I just slam down a meal real quick. Whether its a whole-wheat sandwich, MRP, protein bar, whatever, I just satisfy my appetite immediately. If I want something sweet I might eat honey roasted peanuts, which to me are like candy and only have 4g of sugar per ounce.

*Jill:* Hey there, thanks a lot for the kind words. I don't know about my body being smoking, lol, but I do appreciate it! I definitely think that constant support is a great thing. That's the greatest thing about keeping a journal IMO. If you screw up you have to post it, even if I have a bad workout I have to post it, just really makes me think twice about doing things before I do them. Thanks again. 

*Jen:* Eh, when I got to the gym all of the flat benches were being used so I decided to do some flat DB presses instead. And I train my biceps on my lower body day, actually. Lats and biceps with legs, so no cambered-bar curls. But those push presses are just great. Really a hell of a tough exercise, that's for sure. 

BTW, I am going to have to start brining my digital camera to the gym and making some training vids. I havn't made any in forever. I would really like to get my hyperextensions on video, and a few other exercises. We'll see.


----------



## M.J.H. (Jul 29, 2004)

7-29-2004​
*Lower Body*

*Bentover Rows:* 
295 x 10
345 x 6
*385 x 3!* (2)
325 x 8

*Hyperextensions:* 
135 x 8
185 x 4
*205 x 2!* 
135 x 6

*Nautilus Pullovers:* 
280 x 10
Stack x 8
Stack x 7

Friggin' AWESOME workout today! Really really good session today in the gym. Started off with Yates style bentover rows, used an underhand grip, stood more upright, and pulled the bar to my waist. Hit 4 plates per side with the EZ-curl bar for 2 triples. Used some momentum with 385, but really good lat contractions none the less. After bentover rows I moved onto some heavy hypers. Really really good sets there today. Got tons and tons of attention from these, lol. Had 2 girls stop and basically just say holy sh*t that's a lot of weight, lol. Hit 205 for 2, really big PR there!  

Finished up with Nautilus pullovers today. Great, great sets. Beat the hell out of my lats and serratus, really exhausted my lats. Used the stack for 8, not bad at all. Overall workout today was great. 

Diet: 
- MRP + 1% milk
- Gatorade + V-12 during workout
- whey protein postworkout
- 6" honey oat tuna & cheese sub
- Trioplex bar 

Damn, I didn't have time to eat much at all today. What a friggin' shame. I had no idea at all how little I ate. 

Sleep: 8.5 hours. 

Weight: 225 lbs. Weighed myself first thing this morning, since I am roughly 1 week into my M1T. I am going to weigh myself one day a week. 225 isn't too bad at all considering I feel fairly lean. 

Today is day 8 of M1T, taking 15mg per day as usual. So far, everything is great.


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## Saturday Fever (Jul 29, 2004)

If you want to give your CNS and lower back another perspective, load the bar on your shoulders. It really mimics the way a Good AM feels.


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## M.J.H. (Jul 29, 2004)

*SF:* Yeah, I would love to load them up on my shoulders, I could probably go a bit heavier to be honest. The problem is that I couldn't load them up there myself, I would have to get someone else to do that, and it would just end up being a pain in the a*s I think. I don't mind them Zercher style although the bar does really dig into my arms sometimes, especially with heavier weight.


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## fantasma62 (Jul 29, 2004)

As I said earlier, any time you need me, holler and I'll try my best to help you.....


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## atherjen (Jul 29, 2004)

stupid bb rows  stupid hypers  maybe I need to borrow some testosterone or take some of that Mnopqu 12345 stuff.  

OK I am totally kidding.   Excellent lifting! 

pick ONE weigh in day per week.. same day each week. glad to hear weights up, feeling lean  good signs. 

and yes, I will never object to workout videos.


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## Monolith (Jul 29, 2004)

Those weights are friggin unbelievable... of course im gonna be saying the same thing next week when youre even _stronger_.


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## JerseyDevil (Jul 30, 2004)

All I can say Mike is.... damn! Nice lifting.


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## PreMier (Jul 30, 2004)

Yea, he is way fucking strong.

Mike, when is the last time you got in a fight?


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## M.J.H. (Jul 31, 2004)

*fantasma62:* Thanks bro. 

*Jen:* Hey there, yeah I have been feeling good lately. Aside from last night me being totally stupid and not getting enough sleep, everything else has been pretty good IMO. Feeling leaner, I think this HIIT on my rest days is helping, that's for sure. Too early to really tell just yet though to be completely honest. At this point I have not really had any desires to binge, so that's always a good sign. A lot of psychologists feel that if you can stop something for 21 days, you have broken the habit. I really want to try and stay binge free for 21 days. We'll see what happens, though.

*Monolith:* LOL, thanks man, really appreciate it. I love hitting PR's all the time, M1T is really kicking a*s. Aside from my boys practically dissapearing.  

*JerseyDevil:* Thanks bro. 

*PreMier:* Thank you, and I have not been in a fight in 3-4 years or so. I think it is extremely immature, personally. But I have to say the fights that I have been into I didn't start, and weren't even really fights---basically just beatings.


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## M.J.H. (Jul 31, 2004)

7-30-2004​
*Rest*

Took a rest day today, and damn, I am f*ckin' sore! Serratus are still killing me. They were beat up as hell after the damn push presses and then I think heavy Nautilus pullovers made them even worse, ouch! Oh well. 

*HIIT:* 
Did some late, late, late sprints tonight. I am talking around 2:30 AM, believe it or not. Kept putting them off all night for whatever reason, and finally just went ahead and did them. Ran 14 sprints, around ~50 yards each. Really exhausting to be honest. Sprinted down, walked back, etc. 

Diet: 
- 4 pancakes + sugar-free maple syrup + strawberries, scrambled eggs 
- MRP + 1% milk
- 2 honey glazed chicken breasts 
- low-carb milk 

Damn, sh*tty first meal today, stupid move on my part. The sugar-free maple syrup did a number on my stomach, oh well. I'll learn one of these days. Had no access to any kind of decent food this morning, whatever. Appetite was practically none existant today, BTW. 

Sleep: 2 hours.  Pathetic amount of sleep I know. Then I took a 4.5 hour nap this afternoon, to somewhat make up for it. Whatever. 

Today is day 9 of M1T, taking 15mg per day as usual. Ordered my PCT, finally.


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## Jill (Jul 31, 2004)

Morning hottie!!! Sprints at 2 am??? You are nutty!!!!!!!!!!!   

NEED MORE SLEEP!!!!!  Just watchin' out for ya!

Oh, as for the sf stuff, I have to be careful-even too much gum hurts my tummy. I like the brand of sf suryp, its by 'ED Smith'. I never get sick from that one. How about trying sf jam?????


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## M.J.H. (Jul 31, 2004)

*Jill:* Hey there, thanks for stopping by! Yeah sprints at 2:30 AM last night, talk about some crazy a*s running, lol. Yeah I definitely need more sleep, you're absolutely right, that's just ridiculous. I wasn't going to have sugar-free maple syrup but it was either that or regular full-sugar maple syrup, so I think I made the right decision. But anyway, thanks again for posting.


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## M.J.H. (Jul 31, 2004)

7-31-2004​
*Upper Body*

*Flat DB Flyes:* 
80's x 8
90's x 6 (2)
70's x 10

*Upright Rows:* 
135 x 8
160 x 6
185 x 3
145 x 8

*Cable Pressdowns:*
Stack x 12 (2) 

Honestly this was probably my worst workout to this point on M1T. I am not sure what happened today, but I felt sick, and my elbows were KILLING me. I am going to try and stop by the Vitamin Shoppe today and pick up some glucosamine/chondroitin and see how that helps my elbows out. I don't know what I have done to them but they're friggin' killing me, especially my right elbow. Whatever. 

Flat DB flyes were okay, aside from my elbows hurting, and my serratus muscles still being extremely sore. Upright rows weren't bad, delts got a good workout from them. Whatever. Finished up with some cable pressdowns. Good sets I guess. Elbow pain was just too intense. F*ck. 

Diet: 
- MRP + 1% milk
- Gatorade + V-12 during workout
- whey protein postworkout
- Trioplex bar
- whole-wheat turkey sandwich
- tuna & cheese sandwich
- Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich, Wendy's 5-piece chicken tender
- low-carb milk
- 1% milk, 1/2 whole-wheat peanut butter sandwich

Decided to splurge some tonight and swing by Wendy's on the way home from work. I don't think I hurt anything by eating a spicy chicken sandwich, without mayo by the way, and chicken tenders. So it's all good. 
Sleep: 7 hours. 

Want to note that I picked up some glucosamine today. I am going to be taking 3g per day for roughly 10 days and then cutting that in half to maintain at 1.5g per day. I am hoping for some good relief of elbow and wrist pain, we'll see what happens. 

Today is day 10 of M1T, still taking 15mg per day.


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## Monolith (Jul 31, 2004)

Where's the elbow pain?  I mean, does it feel like its a tendon?  Muscle?  The bone?


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## DeadBolt (Jul 31, 2004)

Wow dude I just had to stop in a say whats up.  One word sums it up in my mind....monster....  

Workouts are looking awsome and I noticed all the progress you have been making from when you first started this one.  Diet is looking solid as well.  I am in the same boat as you with binging and it is a struggle to keep away from it, as long as I keep my diet clean to a certain extent and normal I don't get the urge to binge.  Its those damn super clean cutting days that throw me for a loop.  Just remember its all in your mind and you have complete control over it.

I hope your gonna have a little more then 2 shakes and some gatorade today though...I think I'd die on just that.   

Keep up the good work bro....I know you can do this with no problems!


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## M.J.H. (Jul 31, 2004)

*Monolith:* Feels like tendon pain to me. I picked up some glucosamine and I am going to be taking 1.5g 2x per day for around 10 days. And then I am going to cut that in half and just take 1.5g per day to maintain. I am hoping this wipes out the pain. Usually I respond extremely well to glucosamine. So we'll see what happens. 

*DeadBolt:* Hey man, thanks a lot for taking the time to post here in my journal, appreciate it man. Yeah I really think that my diet has always been my downfall in terms of my gains, so hopefully getting my diet in order will help my strength to skyrocket. We'll see how things go towards the 2nd, 3rd, and maybe even 4th week of this M1T cycle. I am going to keep it steady at 15mg per day the entire cycle, I don't really see a reason to bump it up to 20mg per day. 

BTW, I update my diet throughout the day, lol. I definitely eat a lot more than 2 shakes and some Gatorade, trust me. Thanks again for stopping by.


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## M.J.H. (Aug 1, 2004)

9-1-2004​
*Lower Body*

*Box Squats:* 
315 x 8
365 x 6
405 x 4
*455 x 2!*
315 x 8

*Cable Rows:* 
260 x 8
Stack x 6 (2)
260 x 8

*Incline Hammer Curls:* 
45's x 10
55's x 7

Good workout this morning! Felt stronger in squats than I have in a long, long time. Really beat the f*ck outta' me legs and lower back. Nice sets. Worked all the way up to 455 for a double, again felt extremely strong. My spotter for 455 said I could have gotten a couple more. Whatever. Moved onto some cable rows, worked up to 2 sets of 6 with the stack. Nice sets there today. 

My elbows are still really hurting for whatever reason. I am hoping that this glucosamine helps ease the pain some, we'll see what happens. If I go a few weeks on glucosamine and still notice the pain hasn't gone away I am definitely going to be going to the doctor. 

Diet: 
- whole-wheat toast, scrambled eggs 
- Gatorade + V-12 during workout
- whey protein postworkout
- chicken stir-fry, pasta 
- tuna & cheese sandwich
- Detour bar
- 1/2 turkey & cheese sub, apple
- low-carb choclate milk 

Diet was pretty good today, not bad at all IMO. 

Sleep: 7.5 hours. 

Today is day 11 of M1T, still taking 15mg per day.


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## Jill (Aug 1, 2004)

What is V12?  AND, what is M1T?


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## M.J.H. (Aug 1, 2004)

*Jill:* Hey there, V-12 is a type of creatine made by SAN. Basically just a sugar-free version of creatine, that's all. Nothing too complex. And then M1T is actually methyl-1-test, used to stimulating test levels. I am doing a 3-4 week cycle of M1T currently. Sorry for the confusion.

Here is a link to info on V-12:

http://www.1fast400.com/?products_id=1164

And here is a link to info on M1T: 

http://www.1fast400.com/?products_id=901


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## DeadBolt (Aug 1, 2004)

Sounds like your enjoying the strength gains from the M1T.....any added size or are you just getting stronger?  455x2 is pretty sick man.


----------



## PreMier (Aug 1, 2004)

I wouldnt expect anything less... I bet you could rip someones head clean off.  You should try some NHB fighting.


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## M.J.H. (Aug 1, 2004)

*DeadBolt:* Hey man, yeah I definitely think that M1T is helping out with my strength gains. I have been hitting PR's nonstop since I have been on it. Even if its not huge jumps in strength, I can squeeze out a few more reps on most exercises. I have never ever been able to hit the 120's on flat DB presses for 10. I am going to try them again and if I can even get the 120's for 12-15 reps. That would be absolutely insane, based on my previous strength, that is. 

I am not sure about added size, I can never reall tell. I have been hearing nonstop in the gym that I look bigger. Everyone keeps saying that I look like I have added 20 lbs. But I know that isn't true. 

*PreMier:* I am not into fighting at all, though. I am a lover, not a fighter.


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## atherjen (Aug 1, 2004)

> PreMier: I am not into fighting at all, though. I am a lover, not a fighter.



watch out Jakey.. he's throwing hearts your way now!  

Mikster- hope the elbow gets better, I think seeing the doctor soon if not is a good idea  Squats are insane and diet is looking good. Good work on giving yourself the 'treat' meal (Wendy's) and not going overboard!


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## M.J.H. (Aug 1, 2004)

*Jen:* LOL, I was saying that I am a lover not a fighter, that's all. Not telling Jake that I am in love with him, lol.  

Anyway, thanks for the support, I really appreciate it. I honestly felt stronger today in squats than I have in a long, long time. I mean I really just felt like I could have gone heavier, but I didn't want to miss any lifts. The guy who was spotting me I really didn't trust at all. I am 100% positive though that I can box squat more than 475 for a 1RM. Probably 500+, that's for sure. We'll see what happens. And I'll keep posting how my elbows feel. Its really weird, both elbows hurt, but my forearms hurt too. Doing any kind of motion with my palms facing up KILLS right at my crease of my forearm and bicep. Actually, the more I think about it, this could be from my Zercher style hyperextensions...


----------



## PreMier (Aug 2, 2004)




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## M.J.H. (Aug 2, 2004)

*PreMier:* LOL, hey man, what is it that you recommended to take with M1T to reduce the sides. Lately my lethargy and foggymindedness has been getting worse, so I am thinking about picking up some 4-Derm or whatever it was, I just forget. Thanks man. I don't want to go overboard spending a ton of cash so keep that in mind with what you recommend, lol.


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## PreMier (Aug 2, 2004)

Any 4-AD product would work, 4derm will be fine 

Transdermal:
400-600mg daily with two applications in morning at night.

That would mean you would need 10-15 sprays a day.


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## M.J.H. (Aug 2, 2004)

*PreMier:* Okay man, great, thanks. This lethargy has really started to get to me for whatever reason. I am going to be doing 5 sprays 2x per day for the 4-Derm and hopefully that will help effectively combat the lethargy and foggymindedness. We'll see what happens. Nolva should be coming in a 1-2 weeks, as well. Thanks man.


----------



## M.J.H. (Aug 2, 2004)

9-2-2004​
*Rest*

Damn, I took a rest day today and I have to say that this M1T has really finally hit me. I am EXTREMELY lethargy, drowsy, and foggyminded today. It's almost out of nowhere, too. I was feeling fine up until now. I ordered some 4-Derm tonight from 1Fast400 so hopefully that will be in in the next few days. I think that should help me combat this lethargy, etc. 

Also, I wanted to note that my appetite today was through the roof, along with my sex drive. I have no idea where this came from at all. I felt like I couldn't stop eating, and couldn't stop pitching a tent! 

*Cross-Training:* 
Did some late late cardio tonight as usual. Here is what I did: 

- 7 sprints
- 7 shuffles 
- 7 backward sprints 

Each of these were roughly 50 yards a piece. I started off with 7 regular sprints. 

And then I decided to change things up. "Grapevines" are where you basically run sideways. If I am running with my left leg forward I first put my left leg in front of my right leg, and then my left leg behind my right leg. I really like cross-training a lot more regular plain old sprinting. 

Diet: 
- 1/2 multi-grain turkey & cheese sub, low-carb chocate milk
- tuna salad + crackers, melon, pineapple
- tuna wrap
- 1/2 turkey sandwich
- Trioplex bar
- whole-wheat egg salad + cheese sandwich
- low-carb choclate milk 
- MRP + 1% milk 
- low-carb tuna salad sandwich 

Diet was pretty good today, honestly a lot of food considering that it was a rest day. Whatever. I did my cardio, lol. 

Sleep: 7 hours. 

Day 12 of M1T, still taking 15mg per day. Sides finally hit me.


----------



## PreMier (Aug 2, 2004)

Could you describe the "foggy mindedness" a bit more?  Do you have a hard time concentrating, or what?  
I have never seen those sexual sides(if thats what you want to call it) mentioned before


----------



## M.J.H. (Aug 2, 2004)

*PreMier:* Okay, let me try and explain. Basically when you FIRST wake up out of bed, you are in that weird trance or whatever, lol. Where you are kind of out of it, and have to figure out what's going on almost. I don't even know how to explain it, but that's how I feel all day on M1T at this point. Like I just woke up out of bed and I basically want to go back to sleep. It's a combination of lethargy and foggy mindedness. I am hoping that the 4-Derm helps get rid of this.


----------



## atherjen (Aug 3, 2004)

> Also, I wanted to note that my appetite today was through the roof, along with my sex drive. I have no idea where this came from at all. I felt like I couldn't stop eating, and couldn't stop pitching a tent!



 



> And then I decided to change things up. "Grapevines" are where you basically run sideways. If I am running with my left leg forward I first put my left leg in front of my right leg, and then my left leg behind my right leg.



we always called those shuffles!  



> I really like cross-training a lot more regular plain old sprinting.


 ever done plyometrics?


----------



## M.J.H. (Aug 3, 2004)

*Jen:* Hey there, thanks for stopping by. Yeah I changed the name to shuffles, instead of grapevines. They really make much more sense to be called 'shuffles.' I havn't done plyometrics in years, actually. I used to do them a lot back when I played football in highschool. Always beat the sh*t outta' me, lol.


----------



## M.J.H. (Aug 3, 2004)

9-3-2004​
*Upper Body*

*Incline DB Presses:* 
110's x 10
*120's x 9!* 
120's x 5

*Decline Close-Grip BB Presses:*
275 x 6
315 x 2 (2)
295 x 5 (2)
245 x 12

*Nautilus Lateral Raises:* 
200 x 10
Stack x 5 (2) 

A good workout today I think, unfortunately I was really stupid about the incline DB presses. Instead of warming up with the 50-60's like most people do for my warmup I started out with the 100's. Not the brightest idea in the whole world. Really strained the upper part of my right shoulder/pec area. Damnit. I don't think it's anything major at all. Just a dumb move. Hit a new PR for the 120's though, 9 reps! Not bad at all. Really pleased with my strength here. 

Moved onto some decline CG's today. They beat the hell out of my triceps and shoulders, really really good sets. Worked up to 315 for 2 doubles, not bad. Finished up with some Nautilus lateral raises---hit my delts very very hard. Shoulders were completely exhausted. 

Diet: 
- MRP + 1% milk
- Gatorade + V-12 during workout
- whey protein postworkout
- whole-wheat turkey & cheese sandwich
- pot roast, mashed potatoes + gravy, corn 
- Nitro-Tech bar
- tuna & cheese sandwich
- 3 honey glazed chicken breasts 
- low-carb peanut butter sandwich, skim milk + cocoa 

Diet was pretty good today I think. Been eating a lot more than usual lately, I think the M1T really stimulates my appetite. Which doesn't really bother me, though. 

Sleep: 7 hours. 

Today is day 13 of M1T, still taking 15mg per day. Looking forward to getting my 4-Derm in the mail hopefully tomorrow or Thursday.


----------



## Monolith (Aug 3, 2004)

120's for 9 on the incline is nuts... and a 315 decline CG is even nuttier. 

 Take s'more vids, dammit, i wanna see this shit.


----------



## Saturday Fever (Aug 3, 2004)

RAWR!   RAWR!

That's the sound and face of a guy ripping out close grip declines.


----------



## Jill (Aug 3, 2004)

MonStar said:
			
		

> *Incline DB Presses:*
> 110's x 10
> *120's x 9!*
> 120's x 5



HOLY SMOKES!!!! You are strong.  I dont even think I could pick up a 120lb dumbell!


----------



## M.J.H. (Aug 3, 2004)

*Monolith:* I am trying to man, it's just that when I workout in the late morning or early afternoon like I have been there is really no way at all for me to use my digital camera, it's far too crowded. The next time though that I workout late at night or early early in the morning I am definitely going to be making some videos. So we'll see how things go. Thanks for the support. 

*SF:* LOL, yeah I'll have to say that CG declines are definitely a great exercise. They beat the sh*t outta' my triceps, that's for sure. Really enjoy them a lot. I think that I am going to stick to 3 exercises per session, I really feel like this way of training is much better for me. Do my workouts look okay to you? 

*Jill:* Hey, lol, the 120's isn't THAT crazy, I really think that I could handle the 130's or maybe even the 140's, who knows. I just don't have access to that heavy of DB's. Oh well.


----------



## DeadBolt (Aug 3, 2004)

Hey whats up man.

Most of the guys in my gym are on some sort of gear and several of them are the same as you.  They just walk around the gym all dazed out and don't know what the hell they are doing, usually leads to their injuries.  Some get so bad they start grabbing the wrong DB's and such and they just start ripping things left and right.  But hell they are massive and they enjoy it so more power to em.  I would just say be careful when doing things to try and focus on em a little more so you don't start messin shit up heh.

I can see the strength is going through the roof you animal.  Thats some crazy declines.  I attempted inclines the other day and they kicked my ass, I will have to try the declines to see how they differ.  Keep up the good work man.

I gotta go just got the eyes dialated by the eye doctor so I can't see shit lol, just wanted to come and post something....I'll be back when everything stops spinning heh.


----------



## Saturday Fever (Aug 3, 2004)

They look great! You mentioned in your previous post that you felt the CG declines in your delts. I don't want to make you overthink, but try to keep your shoulders motionless. Imagine pushing your traps into the bench while you push the bar away from yourself. You have to "feel" that groove to understand what I mean, but you'll shock yourself at how much more you can lift when you don't give your shoulders a chance to interfere.

Great work man.


----------



## PreMier (Aug 3, 2004)

I have never heard of REAL gear causing foggy mindedness...  Just M-1T.


----------



## DeadBolt (Aug 3, 2004)

Sorry I use that term very loosely right now b/c my eyes are killing me...I am not sure what they use to be honest with you.  I know you can pretty much find anything you want in my gym so what ever they are using really knocks em out.  Its like a drug store in that place.  But I am no pro on supps ie pro hormones, anabolics, gear, etc.....


----------



## Saturday Fever (Aug 3, 2004)

M1T destroys your natural test production almost immediately. The real stuff is exactly that. It's real stuff. It may be synthetic, but it doesn't create the hormone deficit like pros do because, obviously, you're injecting an ample supply of hormones right into your bloodstream. They rip your natural production apart as well, no doubt, but it doesn't matter because of the sheer amount your putting into yourself.

Or so I like to believe.


----------



## PreMier (Aug 3, 2004)

Yea, people usually feel like a million bucks when on test.  I have only seen 1-2 complaints.  They are probably on PS's/PH's or they are just lazy.  Or they could be using rec drugs like painkillers, who knows.


----------



## PreMier (Aug 3, 2004)

Saturday Fever said:
			
		

> M1T destroys your natural test production almost immediately. The real stuff is exactly that. It's real stuff. It may be synthetic, but it doesn't create the hormone deficit like pros do because, obviously, you're injecting an ample supply of hormones right into your bloodstream. They rip your natural production apart as well, no doubt, but it doesn't matter because of the sheer amount your putting into yourself.
> 
> Or so I like to believe.



Yea, I remember reading that it completely shuts you down in 2 days.  I agree with all of this.


----------



## Saturday Fever (Aug 3, 2004)

I'm inclined to believe that 4AD products stack nicely with M1T because it converts to estrogen a lot, and the excess estrogen will cause your body to compensate by generating extra testosterone. And since you're pretty much producing none, it just gets you enough to keep you somewhat normal. Then when the M1T has a chance to do its thing, you start to see the results you hoped for.

Again, I know dick about pros past what I've read or overheard, but that makes sense to me.


----------



## DeadBolt (Aug 3, 2004)

Saturday Fever said:
			
		

> M1T destroys your natural test production almost immediately. The real stuff is exactly that. It's real stuff. It may be synthetic, but it doesn't create the hormone deficit like pros do because, obviously, you're injecting an ample supply of hormones right into your bloodstream. They rip your natural production apart as well, no doubt, but it doesn't matter because of the sheer amount your putting into yourself.
> 
> Or so I like to believe.



OK damnit you have peeked my interests now I'm here for a while reading it lol. 

That stuff is nuts, whats the purpose of taking it?  And if you do take it wouldn't you have to take it for the rest of your life if it stops the test production or do you start to produce it again?


----------



## Saturday Fever (Aug 3, 2004)

When done as I described above, you really benefit from it. You will begin to produce hormones again after you stop taking it, but it's a slow process with M1T. That's why folks coming off of it will take something to inhibit estrogen, otherwise they'd spend the first 2-3 weeks after a cycle growing mantits.


----------



## DeadBolt (Aug 3, 2004)

OK so with a proper stack during the M1T cycle and a proper post growth cycle your body will maintain the gains as well as go back to normal.  With a proper post cycle series will you still get as many side effects such as mantits?


----------



## Saturday Fever (Aug 3, 2004)

There's always a possibility of side effects, with any pro or real steroid. You can lessen the possibility greatly by doing a proper recovery cycle. There are people who do cycles all year long and don't have atrophied testicles or mantits or any of that. But they're the ones who really stick to the "rules."


----------



## PreMier (Aug 3, 2004)

No, and you should keep all your gains.  
When on M-1T your test levels raise.  Your body compensates(homeostasis) by raising your estrogen.  However once off of the M-1T your test levels frop very drastically, and your estrogen doesnt.  This spike in estrogen is what causes man titties or "bitch tits".  This is why you need an anti aromatase inhibitor like Nolvadex.  


If you wanted to keep your natural test production up, you could run hCG, but then why would you even fuck around with PS's?


----------



## Saturday Fever (Aug 3, 2004)

> but then why would you even fuck around with PS's?





Not that I've ever touched them, but if you're willing to take that step and the risks involved, you should get the real stuff. And legal/illegal isn't a valid argument.


----------



## DeadBolt (Aug 3, 2004)

Thats all very interesting, damn.  I have some more time before I would ever attempt anything b/c I have only been at this game about 2 years or so.  Still young and they say the levels of test are already through the roof so I'll save some $$ for now lol.  So watch out Mon...I'm comin after you in a few years lol...mybe I'll be able to put up some of your numbers by then lol.


----------



## PreMier (Aug 3, 2004)

Yea, I dont plan to run for a few years, maybe mid to late 20's.  But it never hurts to read up.




			
				Saturday Fever said:
			
		

> Not that I've ever touched them, but if you're willing to take that step and the risks involved, you should get the real stuff. And legal/illegal isn't a valid argument.



Yea, thats true.  Some people like to say that thy are 100% legal though, or others have a hard time finding a source.  Its also a lot of work to figure out dosing, and what to do right(maybe this is because I want it to be perfect).


----------



## JerseyDevil (Aug 3, 2004)

Gawd damn.  This discussion on M1t is full of inaccuracies.  I don't even know where to begin.  All I can say is you all really need to do more research.  It's not my job to educate your asses   .

Ok, a few points...  M1t is a steroid.  Legal or not, your body doesn't know the difference.  It has it's attributes... and it's side effects.  It is a 17aa oral steroid just like Anadrol, Dianabol, Winstrol, etc.  All of these steroids can shut you down hard, and have their own unique benefits... and downside.  


> M1T destroys your natural test production almost immediately. The real stuff is exactly that. It's real stuff. It may be synthetic, but it doesn't create the hormone deficit like pros do because, obviously, you're injecting an ample supply of hormones right into your bloodstream.


When you supply an external source of hormones, even synthetic testosterone, it will cause the body to limit, or even cease natural production. The fact M1t causes you to 'shut down' so quickly just proves its effectiveness as a male hormone.


> I'm inclined to believe that 4AD products stack nicely with M1T because it converts to estrogen a lot, and the excess estrogen will cause your body to compensate by generating extra testosterone.


4AD converts to testosterone in the body, and aromatizes to estrogen.  Hence the reason it lessens the M1t sides. 


> When on M-1T your test levels raise.  Your body compensates(homeostasis) by raising your estrogen.  However once off of the M-1T your test levels from very drastically, and your estrogen doesnt.  This spike in estrogen is what causes man titties or "bitch tits".  This is why you need an anti aromatase inhibitor like Nolvadex.


As discussed previously, M1t does not raise your test levels, it annihilates them. The high level of circulating hormone will cause the body to raise estrogen levels to maintain a certain ratio.  As true with most steroids, once off, hormone levels will drop, yet estrogen will remain high.  Using Nolvadex effectively keeps estrogen from binding to the estrogen receptors in breast tissue, therefore keeping gyno at bay.  It does NOT reduce circulating estrogen in the body.  A aromatase inhibitor like arimidex or letro, does keep estrogen levels low, but should only be used on cycle.


----------



## M.J.H. (Aug 3, 2004)

*DeadBolt:* Hey man, thanks for the posts, really appreciate it. I think that my strength has been really really climbing lately. And honestly I can attribute a lot of it to my diet. I have never really eaten whenever I am hungry the way that I am now. For whatever reason, I guess fear of getting fat, I always took it kind of easy on my food. If it was kind of late at night I would be careful not to eat too much, etc. Lately whenever I even get slightly hungry I slam down a good sized clean meal. Like a whole-wheat tuna sandwich and some fruit, or an MRP, or a protein bar. Just a meal with 30g+ of protein. So I think this is really directly transferring over to the gym. At least IMO it has been. M1T combined with increased calories/protein has been working wonders. 

*SF:* Hey man, thanks for all of the posts, appreciate it. Nice to hear that you think my workouts are looking good, because I have been thinking the same thing for the most part. I really like M1T, and I am going to be sticking to that in the future whenever I want to do any kind of cycle. I know that you're currently "on" but I personally am honestly scared to death of needles, etc. So the only kind of PH/PS cycle that I am ever going to be doing is either going to be topical or oral. I cannot even slightly see myself injecting anything. Thanks again for the explanations, etc. 




> Not that I've ever touched them, but if you're willing to take that step and the risks involved, you should get the real stuff. And legal/illegal isn't a valid argument.


Eh, I don't know about this. I trust a legal product from 1Fast400 a lot more than I would trust a 'source' for an illegal anabolic. But that's just me. 

And I really look forward to your training advice, please offer it whenever you feel applicable. BTW, man, I am thinking about some power cleans tomorrow in my lower body session. Any ideas for how to incorporate them? Do them first?  

*PreMier:* Hey man, thanks for all of the posts, appreciate it. I too have never ever heard of any kind of foggy mindedness except from M1T. If you look at M1T reviews lethargy and a few others are in 90% of the reviews. That's why I always have a tough time comparing M1T to a typical anabolic. Maybe because everyone I know that has done a full anabolic cycle has felt better than ever, and gained ridiculous amounts of size/strength. But then again, who knows. For whatever reason just based on my experience M1T seems a lot more like S1+, than a regular full blown anabolic. Again, I am not trying to deny that M1T is a PS, I am just saying based on my experience thus far. My strength gains have been pretty damn good, however. And according to most of the reviews the real gains didn't come until after 14 days. So this next 2 weeks should be pretty damn exciting. I really want to change all 3 lifts in my signature. In other words new PR's in bench/squat/deadlift. We'll see what happens. 

*JerseyDevil:* Hey man, thanks for stopping by and clearing a few things up. I honestly am pretty clueless in terms of exactly how PH's and PS's work, so I really learned a lot from these past 10 posts or so.


----------



## Saturday Fever (Aug 4, 2004)

Just a little curious about something here. 



			
				JerseyDevil said:
			
		

> Ok, a few points... M1t is a steroid. Legal or not, your body doesn't know the difference. It has it's attributes... and it's side effects. It is a 17aa oral steroid just like Anadrol, Dianabol, Winstrol, etc.



If the chemical structure of M1T is 17aa-1-testosterone and the chemical structure of dbol is 17 beta-hydroxy-17alpha-methyl-1,4-androstadien-3-one how can you say M1T is a 17aa just like the real steroids listed above? NONE of the above listed steroids are 17aa anything.

Calling M1T a "real steroid" is falling into the marketing department's hands, and proves just how gullible people can be. Team that with these basement prices on bottles of the stuff and you have just been owned by the supplement industry.


----------



## JerseyDevil (Aug 4, 2004)

Saturday Fever said:
			
		

> Just a little curious about something here.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


The correct designation for M1t is 17-alpha-methyl-17beta-hydroxy-5alpha-androst-1-en-3-one. (http://www.physicalenhancement.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=769). And dianabol is 17-alpha-methyl-17beta-hydroxil-androsta-1.4dien-3-on.  

From steroid profiles on Anabolic Review. "Since Dianabol is *17-alpha alkylated * it causes a considerable strain on the liver. In high dosages and over a longer period of time, Dianabol is liver toxic. Even a dosage of only 10 mg/day can increase the liver values; after discontinuance of the drug, however, the values return to normal." (http://www.steroid.com/55.php).

On Anadrol they say "Anadrol is unfortunately also the most harmful oral steroid. Its intake can cause many considerable side effects. Since it is *17-alpha alkylated * it is very liver toxic. Most users can expect certain pathological changes in their liver values after approximately one week." (http://www.steroid.com/11.php)

Then finally Winstrol "Since the (Winstrol) tablets are *17-alpha alkylated * it is extremely unlikely that during the first pass in the liver a part of the substance will be deactivated, so we can exclude this possibility. (http://www.steroid.com/88.php)

So as you can see, dbol, drol, and winny are all 17aa steroids... just like M1t.  SF, I have tried M1t, and also test enanthate, test prop, and winstrol.  Take my word for it.  At least for me, M1t was very effective.  

If m1t isn't a steroid, then what is it?  For your body to shut down its own natural testosterone production, there MUST be male hormone circulating in the body.  The fact M1t does shut down test production so quickly just proves it works.  It also causes rapid weight gain, pretty decent strength gain, a lot like dbol and anadrol.  BTW, the comment made about real steroids not making you tired?  A common side of anadrol is being tired, feeling crappy, and lack of appetite... much like m1t.  

I don't know why m1t is so cheap, but my guess it's more the fact that anything black market, like illegal steroids, is going to be expensive.  Once prohormones are banned, I bet the price of m1t will skyrocket. 

I'm not trying to be the spokesperson for m1t.  In fact, I have about 70 10mg tabs I may never use.  I feel injectable test, tren, and eq are much safer, and in the long run provide better results.  Anadrol, M1t, and dbol are all hard on your liver, and if not stacked with test or tren, their rapid gains usually disappear almost as fast once off cycle.


----------



## Riverdragon (Aug 4, 2004)

Not sure if you have already mentioned it or not, but which brand of M1t are you using?


----------



## DeadBolt (Aug 4, 2004)

JerseyDevil said:
			
		

> Once prohormones are banned, I bet the price of m1t will skyrocket.


When does everyone honestly believe this will happen, within the next year or 2 or sooner?


----------



## PreMier (Aug 4, 2004)

JerseyDevil said:
			
		

> As discussed previously, M1t does not raise your test levels, it annihilates them. The high level of circulating hormone will cause the body to raise estrogen levels to maintain a certain ratio.  As true with most steroids, once off, hormone levels will drop, yet estrogen will remain high.  Using Nolvadex effectively keeps estrogen from binding to the estrogen receptors in breast tissue, therefore keeping gyno at bay.  It does NOT reduce circulating estrogen in the body.  A aromatase inhibitor like arimidex or letro, does keep estrogen levels low, but should only be used on cycle.



Are yous saying that if Mike got bloodwork that his test levels would be 0?

Yea, I got nolvadex/arimidex confused.


----------



## M.J.H. (Aug 4, 2004)

*SF:* I completely agree with what you're saying about M1T bro, completely. I am not sure if there is anyway to actually prove it, but I know exactly where you're coming from and I agree. If you honestly look at the reviews though a few guys who have actually done regular anabolics (Winstrol, Deca, Dbol, etc.) say that M1T is nowhere even in the same category. But it is classified as a PS, so I am not going to bother arguing. I like the results that I am getting from it, and that's all the matters. 

*JerseyDevil:* Thanks for all of the useful info man, I appreciate it. I honestly am not sure what to think of M1T. I do notice that I get tired on it, that's for sure. But at the same time, honestly, I am not really all that sure that it's the most effective stuff in the world. I mean I have been eating a ton and I have not necessarily blown up like many seem to say they have in the M1T reviews. So I am undecided as to exactly how I feel. Then again I have 2 weeks left on it, so I'll make my final judgement at that point. 

*Riverdragon:* Its just Underground Labs bro, found on 1Fast400.com. 

*DeadBolt:* Hard to say man, IMO. It has been talked about for the longest time. I think that eventually it will happen, but I don't think there is a specific date. Just like with ephedrine---eventually it will be banned. Still available, but banned. 

*PreMier:* I am confused too man, so you're not the only one. But it doesn't matter because my journal is *NOT* a thread on M1T, lol.


----------



## M.J.H. (Aug 4, 2004)

9-4-2004​
*Lower Body*

*Power Cleans:* 
185 x 3 
225 x 3 (2) 
245 x 2 (2) 

*SLDL:* 
405 x 3
455 x 3
475 x 2 (2) 
405 x 6

*Nautilus Lying Leg Curls:* 
180 x 12 (2) 

*Cable Pulldowns:* 
215 x 8 (2) 

Good workout today I think, whatever. Not as intense as I maybe would have liked. Started off today with some power cleans that beat my friggin' a*s. Really havn't done them in like 4 years, since highschool. Worked up to 245 for 2 doubles, really good. I totally forgot how much technique was involved in power cleans. Really good exercise though. Didn't go over 245 because I kept my form perfect. Moved onto some heavy SLDL. Really great form there too. Hit up some lying leg curls and some pulldowns afterwards, good sets I think. Decent workout. 

Diet: 
- scrambled eggs, 3 pieces of multi-grain toast 
- Gatorade + V-12 during workout
- whey protein postworkout
- BigWhey bar
- whole-wheat tuna & cheese sandwich
- 2 honey glazed chicken breasts, fruit popsicle 
- low-carb peanut butter sandwich 

Diet was okay today I guess. Had a fruit popsicle that was damn good. Didn't eat too much that was all that bad. My appetite was definitely a bit lower today than it was yesterday. Whatever. I am going to weigh myself tomorrow. Expecting 227-229 since I have been eating a lot more. 

Sleep: 8 hours. 

Today is day 14 of M1T, still taking 15mg per day.


----------



## atherjen (Aug 4, 2004)

Awesome cleans and deads!  diet is still looking good!  


gosh I dont like all this MIT, ABCD124, oogglysmoogly testosterone muscle building, talk


----------



## Saturday Fever (Aug 4, 2004)

But...but...but...

 The only reason I wanna get big and strong is so you'll like me.


----------



## DeadBolt (Aug 4, 2004)

Lookin solid bro....those are some insane lifts lol.  It kinda puts my lifts I am going to post to shame lol....my itty bitty 135x10 for SLDL's lol.  Diet is keepin up with those lifts to man keep at it.  

Just a question, cable pull downs...what are those and how do they work the lower body?


----------



## JerseyDevil (Aug 4, 2004)

Mike this will be my last post, cuz it is your thread!

I am no expert, or guru, but like you guys, I was interested in trying PHs/PSs.  I have since tried the 'real deal' and I read all I could, and while it IS extremely confusing, I have a pretty good grasp on it.

I saw several inaccuracies in the previous posts, and just wanted to give you guys the up and up.  But obviously I stepped on some toes, so to each their own.

Peace.


----------



## PreMier (Aug 4, 2004)

Goddamnit JD, answer my question! 

Your posts were quite helpful and informative.  I for one learned a few things


----------



## PreMier (Aug 4, 2004)

Oh, and I thought for SURE that you could powerclean more than that Mike


----------



## JerseyDevil (Aug 4, 2004)

PreMier said:
			
		

> Goddamnit JD, answer my question!
> 
> Your posts were quite helpful and informative.  I for one learned a few things


Check your PM   .


----------



## M.J.H. (Aug 4, 2004)

*Jen:* Hey there, thanks for stopping by. Yeah I decided to change things up today and do some power cleans. I really like them a lot. I was going to try 265-275 for a single. But I a don't want to miss it and make an a*s of myself, power cleans look really bad when you don't complete the rep. Can be very dangerous as well. But anyway, yeah I really don't like all this horomone talk either, lol. 

*SF:* LOL. 

*DeadBolt:* Hey man, thanks so much for stopping by, really appreciate the support. Cable pulldowns look like this:







However, I did them with a parallel-grip, in other words my palms were facing each other. They're for your lats, not your lower body. If you didn't notice I train lats/biceps with my lower body. 

*JerseyDevil:* It's not a problem bro, I know that you were just trying to help out, and that you were. I just hope that you can realize that this is still my journal, not just a random thread. So try and at least keep the posts in here in reference to my journal. It's just that I see so many journals that get filled with all kinds of random posts that are not at all relevant. 

*PreMier:* My power cleans are nothing at all to brag about bro, lol. Nothing at all to brag about, I am going to try and start doing them a little more often, though.


----------



## Jill (Aug 5, 2004)

Thats my fav back exercise!!! I dont know what the name of the bar is, but your palms are facing inwards, right. (long bar, handle on each side-not the bar that girl is using in the pic though) Lighter weight and I really squeeze my back. Ahhhhhh I just love training back! Im getting excited just thinking about it!


----------



## JerseyDevil (Aug 5, 2004)

MonStar said:
			
		

> It's not a problem bro, I know that you were just trying to help out, and that you were. I just hope that you can realize that this is still my journal, not just a random thread. So try and at least keep the posts in here in reference to my journal. It's just that I see so many journals that get filled with all kinds of random posts that are not at all relevant.


Consider it done.  Please realize though, I wasn't the one who started the hormone talk.     

Your SLDLs are incredible  . Nice job.


----------



## Monolith (Aug 5, 2004)

MonStar said:
			
		

>


----------



## Saturday Fever (Aug 5, 2004)

I don't feel my toes were stepped on. There are no hard feelings here at all. Healthy debate is just that. Healthy.

How's the back feeling Mike?


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## M.J.H. (Aug 5, 2004)

*Jill:* Hey there, yeah I absolutely love pulldowns. I love all back exercises though, to be completely honest. Pulldowns, pullovers, rows, etc. I am in love with training my back, haha, I have no idea why. 

*JerseyDevil:* It's okay man, it doesn't matter to me who started it, lol. Like SF said it was all with good intentions. Anyway, yeah I was pretty happy with my SLDL strength. Even though I didn't go crazy heavy with them my form was excellent. Didn't really bend my knees at all. So I was pulling with my lower back and hamstrings exclusively. 

*Monolith:* C'mon man, she isn't even cute, lol. 

*SF:* Agreed, I don't feel any toes were stepped on either. Anyway, my back is feeling pretty good. Not too sore at all from the SLDL. What is sore is my mid-trap area actually, from the power cleans I think. They always give me a new soreness that I never get from any other exercise. Who knows.


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## M.J.H. (Aug 5, 2004)

Random pic here today, just because I was feeling kind of flabby. But honestly in this pic I don't look all that flabby. Must be all in my head.


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## JerseyDevil (Aug 5, 2004)

Looking good Mike... but you look like you just lost your best friend.


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## M.J.H. (Aug 5, 2004)

*JerseyDevil:* LOL, thanks man. I am standing relaxed, lol, nothing too exciting about that.


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## Jill (Aug 5, 2004)

MonStar said:
			
		

> Random pic here today, just because I was feeling kind of flabby. But honestly in this pic I don't look all that flabby. Must be all in my head.


 Lookin' good if you ask me!


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## atherjen (Aug 5, 2004)

totally all in your head!  looking good to me  did you dye your hair or is it just the lighting?


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## M.J.H. (Aug 5, 2004)

*Jill:* Aww, thanks I appreciate it. I have no idea why I am feeling flabby, whatever. I think it's all in my head anyway. 

*Jen:* It must be all in my head, lol. Anyway, it's just the lighting. I don't have dark hair though, my hair is light brown.


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## M.J.H. (Aug 5, 2004)

9-5-2004​
*Upper Body*

*Flat DB Presses:* 
*120's x 11!*
120's x 9 (2) 

*Close-Grip Suspended BB Presses:* 
225 x 5
275 x 2 (2) 
205 x 8 (2) 

*DB Front Raises:* 
50's x 8 (2) 
*60's x 8!* 

Pretty good workout tonight I guess. For whatever reason I felt really really foggy minded. I don't know what the f*ck the problem was. Whatever. Started off with flat BB presses that KILLED my damn shoulders. Really beat the sh*t outta' my shoulders completely. So I did some flat DB presses instead. These were pretty good. Actually hit the 120's for 12, but couldn't lockout my damn elbows on the 12th rep. Whatever. 

Did some CG suspended BB presses, I absolutely LOVE them. The bar was placed about 1" off my chest. BTW, suspended bench is just benching from the bottom position. They're extremely hard, I want to add. Great sets though, to be honest. Worked up to 275 for 2 doubles. Not bad at all there today. Finished up with some DB front raises. Good sets. 

Diet: 
- MRP + 1% milk
- tuna & cheese sandwich, apple
- 2 honey glazed chicken breasts 
- 1/2 whole-wheat peanut butter sandwich
- Gatorade + V-12 during workout
- whey protein postworkout
- chicken quesadillas, oriental chicken salad, 1 glass of white wine 
- choclate cake, ice-cream
- cookies, fruit snacks, tortilla chips, 2% milk  

Went on a somewhat binge tonight, DAMNIT. I don't know what caused this binge at all because I was in such a great mood. I honestly felt fat getting home from Applebee's. And I decided that I was going to start low-carb eating again. And told myself that I needed to cheat because I was starting a new diet. GODD*MNIT.  

Did not go THAT crazy last night. But I honestly did have the binge mindset, and I ate about 20-25 cookies and 5-6 packs of fruit snacks, etc. Even though I didn't go freakishly out this pisses me off. 

Sleep: 8 hours. 

Weight: 225.5 lbs. Up a half a pound since the last time I weighed myself. Not too bad at all I don't think. I am not feel all that flabby at this point. I feel a little more flabby than I did since I started M1T, but I have been eating a ton, so this is expected. 

Today is day 15 of M1T, still taking 15mg per day. Doing 10-12 sprays of 4-Derm today as well.

Today I started 4-Derm. Going to do 5-6 sprays 2x per day. Until the bottle runs out basically. Rubbing it into my chest after I scrub my chest with soap first. Just like the way I applied the S1+. I really honestly don't like topicals too much, but whatever. If it gets rid of the lethargy, foggy mindedness, I'll be happy.


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## fantasma62 (Aug 5, 2004)

MonStar said:
			
		

> 9-5-2004​
> 
> 
> *Upper Body*
> ...


Hey buddy, inspiring workout.  I will catch up to you soon....  ..Ok, you can stop laughing now...It's not funny anymore....STOP  
You post and I learn...Think that you are teaching a 35 year old....


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## DeadBolt (Aug 5, 2004)

Heya bro pic looks awsome...you def not flabby heh.  Thats one hell of a workout there man, 120'sx11 is sick man.  Now lets hope the 4-derm gets you out of that coma state crap heh.

Sorry for the confusion with your routine...all I saw was the "lower body" never thought of how your routine worked stupid me.  I forgot you mix it up heh.  I to love back, has to be my favorit day.....I think its b/c a big back just looks sick.


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## fantasma62 (Aug 6, 2004)

Man, I had not seen your before and after pictures.  As I said to you earlier, you are teaching me.  Any time you fell a binge coming, just look at your old photo.
I take my hat off.  You have done an amazing job with yourself.  I only pray that I can do the same.  Congratulations, you should be proud


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## M.J.H. (Aug 6, 2004)

*fantasma62:* Hey man, thanks for stopping by, appreciate the support. I really don't have any before and after pictures so to speak. Just regular old progress pictures, nothing too exciting. It's funny that you say that because I binged last night. I'll explain in my journal entry how I felt, etc.  

*DeadBolt:* Hey man, yeah I really really hope that this 4-Derm does get me out of this foggyminded state. I really havn't been on it long enough to tell at this point. But I am hoping that I see some good results. We'll see what happens. And I too absolutely love training back---I am obsessed with it. I have to agree that nothing compares to big well developed lats, IMO.


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## M.J.H. (Aug 6, 2004)

9-6-2004​
*Rest*

Took a rest day today. Going to stop by the track tonight to do some cross-training. Feel pretty good today. Woke up this morning and did not feel flabby at all, and considering this is post-binge, I am surprised. I am going to evaluate how I was feeling 

Last Night's Binge Evaluation:  
Yesterday I binged. Well last night, around 3:00 AM roughly I started to pig out. It wasn't my typical all out feast, but I did have the binge mindset, etc. So it's a big step in the wrong direction. I feel like I was doing so so well and I have no idea at all what happened. I went to Applebee's last night, had some chicken quesadillas, a chicken salad, and some wine. Then I had half of a dessert. 

Well for whatever reason after that I felt flabby. So I should have gone home and gone to bed. Instead I decided to tell myself that tomorrow I was going to start a low-carb diet. I have no idea why I decided this because I am halfway into a M1T cycle and I would never do a low-carb diet on M1T. Anyway, the weirdest part about this binge is that in my book on binging, it's hard to classify it. The different kinds of binge are: 
- the hunger binge
- the deprivation binge 
- the stress binge
- the opportunity binge 
- the vengeful binge
- the pleasure binge
- the habit binge

For whatever reason, I am thinking that maybe it's somewhere in between the pleasure and the opportunity. Honestly I was in a GREAT mood and just laughing and feeling awesome on the phone with one of my friends when all this was happening. And I think opporunity because I was going to start a new diet the next day and I had a chance to pig out the night before. Whatever, I made it 14 full days binge-free. And my next little goal is to make it 21 days.  

Diet: 
- MRP + 1% milk
- whole-wheat turkey & cheese sandwich
- Trioplex bar
- whole-wheat tuna & cheese sandwich
- ? 

Sleep: 6.5 hours. 

Today is day 16 of M1T, still taking 15mg per day. Doing 10-12 sprays of 4-Derm today as well. So far I am feeling pretty damn good.


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## fantasma62 (Aug 6, 2004)

MonStar said:
			
		

> Last Night's Binge Evaluation:
> Yesterday I binged. Well last night, around 3:00 AM roughly I started to pig out. It wasn't my typical all out feast, but I did have the binge mindset, etc. So it's a big step in the wrong direction. I feel like I was doing so so well and I have no idea at all what happened. I went to Applebee's last night, had some chicken quesadillas, a chicken salad, and some wine. Then I had half of a dessert.
> 
> Well for whatever reason after that I felt flabby. So I should have gone home and gone to bed. Instead I decided to tell myself that tomorrow I was going to start a low-carb diet. I have no idea why I decided this because I am halfway into a M1T cycle and I would never do a low-carb diet on M1T. Anyway, the weirdest part about this binge is that in my book on binging, it's hard to classify it. The different kinds of binge are:
> ...


Hey Monstar, I don't think you took a step on the wrong direction.  You were happy and are still in a good mood.  You basically came to terms with the fact that you binged and that you can fix it.  That's what's more important.  Before you were upset and unhappy and depressed about binging.  Today you are feeling good, although maybe not so good stomachwise, I'm not sure about you, but if I eat that stuff at 3 am, I'd be sick to my stomach today. Then again I used to pig out on everything when I was younger (once I swallowed a quarter...guess what we were playing....but that's neither here no there )...
I would recommend to binge earlier in the day.  It may affect your body differently and also the way you feel, although you feel good today about your binging yesterday.  Congratulations on 14 days and look forward to congratulate you again in 21 days... 
I am happy for you.  You binged and are Ok, that's what counts.  I hope the diet started off well


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## fantasma62 (Aug 6, 2004)

MonStar said:
			
		

> *fantasma62:* Hey man, thanks for stopping by, appreciate the support. I really don't have any before and after pictures so to speak. Just regular old progress pictures, nothing too exciting. It's funny that you say that because I binged last night. I'll explain in my journal entry how I felt, etc.
> 
> *DeadBolt:* Hey man, yeah I really really hope that this 4-Derm does get me out of this foggyminded state. I really havn't been on it long enough to tell at this point. But I am hoping that I see some good results. We'll see what happens. And I too absolutely love training back---I am obsessed with it. I have to agree that nothing compares to big well developed lats, IMO.


I was talking about your photo in December (chubby) to your photos today (not so chubby ).  You have burned off the extra fat and kicked some real ass.  If you sometimes feel flabby, get that off your mind.
If you want to cheat, go ahead and cheat.  It may help you against binging....


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## Jill (Aug 6, 2004)

I can relate to your feelings today-Im clasifying my cheats as a binge day too. I feel like shit. All I know if that this is more motivation to stay clean, and get back on track. (the way I feel today) It was only a day hon, just get back on track now. Im trying not to let the guilt get to me. Thanks for the birthday wishes.


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## greekblondechic (Aug 6, 2004)

I haven't been binging just eating a lot of crap here and there and I feel fat as hell (damn that being a woman thing) *HUGS* thats so good that you tried to analyze it, and even if you dont understand, awareness is one step closing to knowing how to deal with it!


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## M.J.H. (Aug 6, 2004)

*fantasma62:* Hey man, thanks a ton for stopping by, appreciate it. Yeah I agree that I think I am heading in the right direction. Binging is definitely addicting, though. I know that even yesterday pigging out for whatever today I almost want to come up with some kind of excuse to do the same thing. I am not sure why at all, it's just like today my apptetite has been nonstop. I feel like I can't satisfy my appetite today, it's the strangest thing. I have no idea why, etc. I am definitely not going to let myself binge, because I am the one that's in control of my actions. Even last night I kept in mind that I am going to be doing this to myself, and no one else. Thanks again man for the support. 

*Jill:* I definitely hate feeling fat. Honestly today I really don't feel all that fat at all. It's more just a sluggish, lethargic, different feeling to be honest. It's not too big of a deal, really. I just need to hang in there this time around and not give up after 2 weeks. I really think that if I can make it 21 days I should be all set. Like I said before according to most info that I have on forming a habit, etc., you must do something for 21 days and at that point it generally becomes a habit. I think if this time around I stick it out for 3 weeks I should be okay. We'll see what happens. 

Part of me almost wants to do a low-carb diet though and just get a rockhard midsection, and drop the rest of my flab. I know so many people that eat Atkin's style or some form of it with absolutely no problem at all. Workouts are fine, etc. I feel like during the summer that's what I want more than ever, to be 100% confident with my shirt off. At this point I am definitely not confident taking my shirt off. 

This makes me want to jump back on the low-carb bandwagon. Because I know how easy the diet is for me to stick to. 

*greekblondechic:* Aww, I am sorry to hear that you're feeling the same way. I really hope that you hang in there, I know that you have been battling with binging for some time now, definitely stick it I know that you can overcome this thing---if I can anyone can, trust me.


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## PreMier (Aug 6, 2004)

I think habbits are broke after 28 days 

Not a problem, you can do it.


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## fantasma62 (Aug 6, 2004)

PreMier said:
			
		

> I think habbits are broke after 28 days
> 
> Not a problem, you can do it.


I agree with Premier, you can do it.  To help yourself look at your 2003 picture before you decide to binge.  Hell, have a look at my famous beach picture.  You will definitely stop binging if you don't want to look like that


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## Jill (Aug 6, 2004)

MonStar said:
			
		

> *Binging is definitely addicting, though. I know that even yesterday pigging out for whatever today I almost want to come up with some kind of excuse to do the same thing. *
> 
> 
> > This is really true-something that I have to work on myself. I see the same pattern in you, as I see in myself. You allow yourself something that is considered a 'cheat' or 'bad' food-then what happens is your like, screw it, I already fucked up today, then it goes downhill from there. 1 bad food after another. I dont know why this happens. Im still trying to figure it out for me. I can deff relate Monstar, to many of your posts. The mindset is hard to deal with.
> ...


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## sara (Aug 6, 2004)

What helps I think is to get a plan from an expert and follow that plan no matter how you feel .. and try to stick with the plan for at least 1 month without cheats
getting a plan .. would not want you to binge


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## atherjen (Aug 7, 2004)

> Last Night's Binge Evaluation:
> Yesterday I binged. Well last night, around 3:00 AM roughly I started to pig out. It wasn't my typical all out feast, but I did have the binge mindset, etc. So it's a big step in the wrong direction. I feel like I was doing so so well and I have no idea at all what happened. I went to Applebee's last night, had some chicken quesadillas, a chicken salad, and some wine. Then I had half of a dessert.
> 
> Well for whatever reason after that I felt flabby. So I should have gone home and gone to bed. Instead I decided to tell myself that tomorrow I was going to start a low-carb diet. I have no idea why I decided this because I am halfway into a M1T cycle and I would never do a low-carb diet on M1T. Anyway, the weirdest part about this binge is that in my book on binging, it's hard to classify it. The different kinds of binge are:
> ...



 now THAT is *THE ATTITUDE* that I like to hear. Although you slipped up, you were able to go back and truly ask yourself why. Mike, THAT is progress alone and I am SO proud!  I say thats one BIG step to "recovery" from the binging habits! You have a very strong head on your shoulders and I dont doubt you one bit. Keep going and before you know it, it will all merely be a lesson in life.    

I want you to go back and recall that time that you helped me to find the balance in my life and eating/training and how emotionally burnt out I had become.... thats what you need to find. Peace with not only your eating habits, but with WHO YOU ARE, body and mind together. Self esteem has a huge impact on forceful habits. It can take over and try to talk you back into negative habits. Finding that inner force within to say NO, is what it takes... ie willpower, determination, struggle with vitctory and most improtantly of all.... being content with YOU. I know this is hard..  dealt with it myself at a time. Ask yourself WHO do you go to the gym for? WHO do you want to look good for? Is life all about the outside shell and what people "see" ? Would looking better(although you look great now) make you happier as a whole? 

I am no therapist I know, I dont even know if what I am saying makes sense... just some thoughts. But your doing great, so keep the head high and looking forward


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