# OK here is my journal.



## danilee (Jun 21, 2002)

With my journal, I am going to schedule certain things like sleep in with it..Working at night and having an eratic schedule has done me in a number of times.  A regualr sleep wake cycle is tough, especilly this morning my apt complex had roofers working on the roof at 8am!   When you get to bed at 5am everynight, stuff like that can really throw you and your scheduale off...I don't like working nights, because it seems everyone around me gets to keep their schedule when I am the one left with bags under my eyes..

I will tell you all somthing, Hawaii is a beautiful place, I have lived here 1.5 years, and have not even BEGUN to do the things I dreamt I would...Yes I have been swimming with sea turtles, but working at night really cuts into enjoying a place like this.. 

I have not been to the other islands yet, Kaui is my next destination, I want to try a tantra workshop there...Anyways, here was my day.

I did not work today, but had a heck of a time staying on my sleeping schedule(see above)

Wake up
coffee half and half stevia

Meal 1
2 whole eggs
6 egg beaters
1/2 tbs butter

Meal 2
6 oz chicken
1tbs pb
1/2 tbs butter
broccoli

Meal 3
metrx low carb RTD (3 carbs)

Meal 4
2 scoops designer
1 tbs pb

meal 5
6 egg beaters
1 scoop desiger
2 tbs pb

Meal 6 CARB UP
I could'nt get ripe bananas at the store(somtimes I miss the nice supermarkts in the mainland 
So I got a pint of blueberries and 2 peaches ate them both
then had
1.4 cup DRY oats
1 tbs PB

I am up to 2400 cals now, and I am stuffed and it is like 4am, I have the sweet pot cooked and in the nuker, but I feel really full.  I don't know if I should go for it...I don't mind being full  It has been a long time since I ate soooo much good food for a carb up, I forget how filling WHOLE FOOD is...Cake does not make you feel this full...SO, I could stuff it down, and I think I should...I am sure my body will be thanking me this weekend for the extra fuel.  If I add this up though it is going to be and EASY 2800 cals(maybe more)  Is this alright?  It is not like I was not eating this much before on carb ups, just sugar crap...

Today I did hammies and shoulders..VERY light on the shoulders though(light meaning HEAVY weights but hardly ANY SETS)

Hammies
3 sets moving up in weight each set Lying leg curl

4 sets Deadlifts.  Stiff legged.

4 sets HEAVY overhead press with the hammerstrength equp.
2 sets upright rows...Going for 6-8 reps all sets.

OK nut. breakdown
2813 cals  is this for fat loss 
76 fat
271 carbs
261 pro(including all the starches)
OK
Danilee


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## Fade (Jun 21, 2002)

Journals have to have pictures too.


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## danilee (Jun 22, 2002)

Hi All,

Let's see my first offical week at training hard AND working hard did not cut it..Yesterday I deadlifted and I am sooooo extemly sore today it hurt to sit down, it hurt to get up, I could not get rid of the sorenss no matter what.  Walking around funny all day.  I ate good, took hot baths even did streching and warm ups...UHHHH

OK, Diet today.

meal 1
6 egg beaters
2 whole eggs
1/2 tbs butter

meal 2
3 scoop designer whey
1 tbs pb

meal 3
(chiles)
about 5 oz chicken and 6 cooked shrimp
1.5 glass red wine
2 boneless buffalo wings.
veggies with a bit of oil

meal 4
1 scoop desinger whey 
6 egg beaters
2 tbs pb

meal 5
8 whites
1 yolk
1tbs butter

2270 cals...gotta get the breakdown later. 

No training felt like crap, painkillers eased the hamstrings a bit, I did not work, would have been useless and in pain all night..My job is one that requires a certain SPUNK to do well, so I will just have to make up for it later this week..I for the past year or so, have not been able to find this balance...Either not working enough, or flat out lazying in the gym, not moving the weights I should be because of total fear of incomplete recovery, and then my finances suffering because I am a limping stripper   I guess some guys have a fetish, but bitchy sore strippers are not the ones who bank   

I have kept a training scheduale but it has not been as productive as it should be hence the fear of really pushing it, so that I can do my job...Do any of you have a physical job?  Mine is physical and I have got to look pretty doing it to..I can't grimace every time I move 

I have been really full today may have had too big of a carb load yesterday... 

Drank the wine to ease my bod...I was kinda anxious that this program is not gonna work out for me the way I would like...I want to train for size and leanness(hardness) but I need to train hard, but not be so sore.

OK, enough of the rants..

I think I may go the legal gear route...There is a clinic in ca called new hope med that I believe(for a very large fee of course) will prescribe me legal gear..All blood test have to be done, and blood monitored.  The DR is not cheap, but I don't want to risk street stuff, and I can afford this.  I am hoping that it will allow recovery AND maybe some extra zest for life(work)   

Has anyone ever heard of dealt with new hope here?  I posted in the juice forum and no one commented on them...What yall think of my plan...Although  I will not do this for a good 10 weeks or so, do you think I am asking too much of a cycle of anavar? 

danilee


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## danilee (Jun 23, 2002)

Today was a pretty good day.

Good sleep still sore in the  hammies, impeaded work a bit, but luckily I did not have to do to much stage work tonight.

I think I will space my hammies a few days before the weekend say wens so that they have time to recover..chest does not get used too much, at least it is not streched over and over like hammies are while dancing so I think I will swap hammies for wens and chest and tris on thurs.

Today diet was good.

meal 1
2 yolks
9 whites
1tbs butter

meal 2
2 scoop designer
1tbs pb

meal 3
1 scoop designer
5 egg beaters
2 tbs pb

meal 4
1 scoop designer

meal 5
low carb myoplex

meal 6
5 oz swordfish,
1 tbs bleu cheese dressing
salad

About 1600 cals
67 fat
28 carbs
221 pro

no training still sore   Think I may add another 200 or so cals. PB and eggs maybe...Got to keep my cals regular and not let myself get to hungry, and make up for it later...

ok added
1.5 tbs pb
.5 scoop des pro
5 egg whites

Good night
danilee


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## Dr. Pain (Jun 23, 2002)

Some feedback for ya 

Except for Brocoli and the berry binge, your program seems devoid of Phytonutrients and fiber!  Try to have more berries w/shakes, and more greens and veggies w/solid meals!


Next, you are conflicted as to gaining LBM and losing BF at the same time!  It can be done, butit takes much longer.  DPw8 can give you a "Hardening" Program, if that is what you desire!

If you truely want size and mass, w/o much BF gain, (don't worry, it's a lengthy process w/o gear)  Then here is a version of our  "Clean Bulk" for women: (sorry about the "No Cardio" part as it obviously doesn't pertain to you)

Woman Bulking Program  


Take a few days and work into this, up calories gradually!


Supps: Multi with meal one, 5 grams glutamine before training, 5 grams after, and 5 grams of creatine a day after loading


NO CARDIO, NO THERMOS for 5 weeks!


Meal #1
4 oz chicken or turkey breast
4 egg whites, 1 yolk
1/2 cup  (measured before cooking) oatmeal (old fashion)

Meal #2
Protein Drink:  12-oz water, 2 scoops Protein powder
3 TBS heavy cream  or 1 tbs oil blend and 4 strawberries or 1/2 banana (start w/berries, banana when gains stall)


Meal #3
6 oz chicken breast
2 cups salad
2 TBS Paul Newman???s Oil & Vinegar dressing
6 oz sweet potato or 3/4 cup of rice (brown)


Meal #4
6 oz chicken breast 
1 cup vegetables or
2 scoop protein powder, 12 oz watwr 3 tbl cream or 1 tbs oil blend, 1/2 banana or 4 frozen strawbwerries


Meal #5
6 oz lean beef or chicken
1-cup vegetables
2 tsp Flax Oil
6 oz sweet potato or 3/4 cup of rice

Meal #6  except Sunday and Wednesday, shake like meals 2 and 4

Sunday and Wednesday have - a cup of oatmeal, 6-oz sweet potato, 4-oz banana, and 1-cup vegetables as a 6th meal. 

Drink 1.5 gallons water daily 


Protein sources are interchangable, fish, eggs, meat, poultry, protein powder, etc...so are meals, except the carb-ups

DP


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## Dr. Pain (Jun 23, 2002)

If you choose "Fat Loss" only...or Hardening, please let us know! 


DP


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## J'Bo (Jun 23, 2002)

That sounds like a pretty good diet.

Are you really considering gear? Try the diet first girl.
You are tough, just suck up the pain and deal with it.
No need to enter the gear world.

Just look in the pic. forum and see what gear does to women.
You want to look like that?


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## Stacey (Jun 23, 2002)

Okay I am kinda dumb when it comes to SOME bodybuiding talk.. somebody tell me what "gear" is??


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## Leslie (Jun 23, 2002)

Hey Princess- I think gear is Steroids, but I could be wrong....


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## Stacey (Jun 23, 2002)

well if it is.. you definatly should not get messed up with that crapola!! Do it naturally girl!!! You already have the body for it~ So its not going to be hard!!


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## danilee (Jun 23, 2002)

Hey Guys..

DP, let me see some HARDENING DIET, when and if you get time.

J'bo, if I decide gear, it will be with the utter most carefulness, AND a doctors prescription...Nothing more than a little anavar, although I have not made the decsision yet I am leaning that way...I never throught I would consider it, ever, but once I got to Hawaii, and met ALOT of the fitness girls(alot of these girls you see in muscle mag and such)  They are ALL juicing, not much...A little clen a little T3 maybe a little anavar, and most of them are BIKINI MODELS, not even bodybuilders...I realized that if I want to train for a high level comp, AND still be able to stay pretty lean(NOT RIPPED) because of my job, I am going to need to be honest with myself AND natural abilities.  Hands down, I lose muscle if I can't get complete rest between workouts...Problem, I never get complete rest between workouts...I could change jobs, but it is not one I will be doing forever, and MOST don't quit their jobs to bodybuild...

I am training hard, but realize that is not always enough...I really apprectiate your concern, and in many ways you are right, but I also think that if you look at Monica Brant or Timea Mojoava, they look abousoutly STUNNING sexy and beatiful, and noone can tell me they are all natural...Gear if done responsibly can provide far more benefits than consequenses.    I think if breast implants, tummy tucks and liposuction are the most popular plastic surgery procuderes in this country, I can't understand why people can't legally go through a Dr, and "BETTER" themeselves with hormones used responisbly.  Birth Conrtol pills are the most prescribed "hormone" and "the Pill" does mess with natural hormones a women produces, seems no has a problem with that.

J'bo, also don't take this as an attack, I just wanted to let everyone know what my stance is here....BTW, Congrats on your WIN>...You are BEAUTIFUL!


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## w8lifter (Jun 23, 2002)

Well said danilee!


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## Dr. Pain (Jun 23, 2002)

See NG's Journal for an example of a "Hardening Program",  you will have to up the portions and calories to suit your metabolism and BW! 


DP


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## danilee (Jun 24, 2002)

Today was a good day all around.

Yesterday at work was very easy energy wise so I was not sore or even really tired at all.

Did quads today as per w8 suggestion(thanks w8)

squats adding weight
1x15
1x10
1x6
1x6

hack sqaut
2 x 6

leg ext
3x8-10

abs weighted 
4x10-12

FOOD

coffeew/ about 1tbs halfn half

meal 1
6.4 oz salmon
2 cup broc(as per pain)
1/2 tbs butter

meal 2
2.5 scoop designer pro
1 tbs pb

meal 3
1 yok
6 whites
1tbs butter

meall 4
2 tbs pb
6.5 oz chicken
2 cups broco
AND 2 cups peppers!
 
getting my veggies in!
meal 5 same as 4

meal 6 
6 whites
.5 scoop designer 
2 tbs peanut butter

breakdown
2159 cals
111 fat
36 carb
258 pro

How is this looking?

Dr Pain..I am currently trying to find a tweak to help with slowly leanning out but still stick to the outline of the NHE plan, which has me carbing up 2 times a week, but sticking to less than 60g carbs a day.  I really feel good on this much food, not too hungry, no cravings...Carbs on whole foods(for the carb up) are MUCH differnt than carbs on junk as per The Anabolic Diet and other CKD like programs..Whole foods just DO A BODY GOOD   I want to stay away from fruit and grains on the low days, and do fruit and grains as per NHE and your reccommendations on up days...I do not count veggies in my carb counts though, so I may be reaching about 60 without starches.

I feel a little funny eating this much and calling it a hardening diet...I need reassurance 

OVERALL good day for eating, sleeping, AND training...

danilee


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## w8lifter (Jun 24, 2002)

A nice tweak might be to replace some of the peanut butter & butter w/ flax seed oil


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## Dr. Pain (Jun 24, 2002)

> _*Originally posted by w8lifter *_
> A nice tweak might be to replace some of the peanut butter & butter w/ flax seed oil




I agree! 

Also, what you eat on your carb days is critical.  I have seen your pictures and you do show some signs of IR (Insulin resistance).

A "go for it" meal versus a day...let alone two days in a row (bi-weekly is better)...will produce better results! 


DP


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## Stacey (Jun 24, 2002)

Danilee.. That was a very good post above where you compared Gear to birth control/ lipo/ breast implants!! Now I see where your coming from! Just be careful!


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## Leslie (Jun 24, 2002)

> _*Originally posted by Princess *_
> Danilee.. That was a very good post above where you compared Gear to birth control/ lipo/ breast implants!! Now I see where your coming from! Just be careful!


 
I must agree with Princess- you presented your side very well! Just don't over do it!


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## danilee (Jun 24, 2002)

W8, OK, I will indeed try and replace some pb with flax and or olive oil...   I know, pb is the greatest stuff, and I give myself the go ahead, but as we see here, even if the macros workout ok, and the cals are not too high, there still can be too much of a good thing...Flax it is

danilee


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## danilee (Jun 24, 2002)

Princess and leslie,

Thanks for the support...I have thought long and hard about this, there are pros and cons to everything in life...Living a healthy, happy life is one thing...Being and athlete is another...I would be one to say that compeitive athletes are not really worried about health...Running an ultra marathon(80 or more miles) CANNOT be healthy...If I decided to get serious about competing, I will then be entering a state of mind that is not all too healthy...Same as breast implants and other non essential surgiers(lips,tucks, ects) we live in a world that somtimes, what we think is beautiful healthy and happy is really just best case  an illusion, worst case FLAT OUT UNHEALTHY.  Me accepting, that it might not be healthy to drop 20 pounds and not drink water for 2 days because I want my skin shrink wrapped and translucent, then hey, the risk taking something responsibly is probably in line with the above...When you enter competition mindset, healthy DOES take a back seat.  
Sorry this was a little broken, just an outpouring, not an articulation

take care
danilee


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## danilee (Jun 25, 2002)

Hi All,
 Today went well, both training and diet wise...I have felt pretty full, not used to eating so much food breakdowns as follows

Totals 2346  fat 100grams carb 150(carb up) pro 240
These counts DO NOT include veggies....I ate bunches of broccoli and peppers today...!  Do I inculde veggie counts here?  My instincts say no, cuz if I were to inculde it would more than likly be like 400 cals more, and I know that is not accurate because most of the cals are fiber,...Probably will just stress me out, and REALLY make me think I was eating too much.

meal 1
1 yolk
8 whites
1tbs olive oil

meal 2
6 oz chicken
peppers
1.5 tbs pb

meal 3
tuna(6oz)
1.5 tbs mayo

meal 4
2.5 scoop designer pro
2 tbs heavy cream

meal 5
6 oz chicken
brocoli and peppers 
1.5 tbs pb

meal 6(carb up, split into 2 meals seperated by about 45 mins)
1 cup oats(dry)
1.5 cups berries(frozen no sugar added)
1 tbs pb(I know a bit much pb today, but I used mayo and olive oil above!)

second mini carb
3/4 cup dry oats
3/4 cup berries
1 tsp pb

Not a big fan of sweet pot.  Even bought one to to carb up with, but I prefer more oats, at least for now.  Also prefer berries to bananas(never was a fan of bananas at all) figured there is alot less sugar and starch in the berries so ate them twice..

training today.
Back and Bis
15 mins on the bike(plus 20 min fast walking the dog after workout)
Pulldowns
1 warm up 2 working sets
of 8 and 6, til failure.

high pulls on hammer strength.
3 sets
15, 6,6

pulley row
2 sets
15, 6

bis
machine preacher
2 heavy sets 
8,6, failure

dumbell curl
2 sets or 8 failure.

That is it!

danilee


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## Leslie (Jun 26, 2002)

Bump for Jbo-


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## w8lifter (Jun 26, 2002)

> _*Originally posted by danilee *_
> Do I inculde veggie counts here?  My instincts say no,



Trust your instincts


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## danilee (Jun 27, 2002)

OK, yesterday was a little funky because I was was usure of what the cal count was until I went to the grocery today, and saw that there is indeed other brands of whipping cream, vs heavy whipping cream, so my cals were about 400 short of what I had assumed...

Today is a new day, w8 I ate LOTS of peanut butter, but Hey it was the only fat source in the house  besides the cream

meal 1
2 scoops des. whey
3 tbs cream(the lighter stuff) so about 9 gs of fat per 3 tbs

meal 2
went to a vietnemise(SP?) place, just ordered their chicken salad house dressing on the side, I think the dressing which was chile pepper might have had a TAD of sugar, used about 2tbs, but it is WATER AND VINEGAR type dressing, not thick...THere was about a half oz or so of crushed peanuts on the salad as well...
about 5 oz chicken
.5 oz peanuts. dressing at this time N/A such a small amount. 

meal 3
3 tbs cream
2 scoops designer whey

meal 4
6oz chicken
1.5 tbs pb
veggies

meal 5
same as 4 but 2 tbs pb instead of 1.5

meal 6
8 egg white
and yes  more pb 2 tbs

totals
1892 cals
fat 92
carb 33 (not including veggies)
pro 240

Training, 
hammies and shoulders
deads
2 warm up sets
2 working sets of 6

lying leg curl
3 sets
2 working sets of 8

Over head press hammer equip.
3 sets
2 working sets of 8

lateral raise,
moved up to 20 pound dumbell lateral raise arms straight and controled...Feeling good, because I could never do 20 nice and straight and feel it in the delts, but today I did and it motivated me, since my strength had stopped increaseing and seemed it was on the decline.

I also did 2 sets of rear delt raise

then 35 mins walking on the treadmill at an decent incline.

I am feeling kinda bloated right now, might be the very large increase in veggies...I will be honest that once I had severely dieted once, I had thought that I should always feel empty and hollow in the tummy...I realize though, that to be well feed is to have some food in the stomach...All though at the end of the day of eating 8 cups of broccoli you don't feel very attractive
    I use to use exteme hunger to gauge whether it was OK to eat or not, or if I had done "good" for the day.  It has taken some training, but I feel ok with feeling satisfied 

OH, also got in 4 liters of water...

Take care
Danilee


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## J'Bo (Jun 27, 2002)

Hey Danilee,
I geuss your right i should not say anything unless i know exactely what i am talking about. I do know though, Kary Odiatu has made awesome gains in the last year 100% clean. Anyone can do it, if you try hard enough and just deal with the aches. 

I dont know anything about those types of gear. W8 are they available in Canada?


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## Pitboss (Jun 28, 2002)

Danilee made a very similiar point that I use when asked why or would I use steroids.  At my age... mid life crisis age.. steroids are my advantage to feel better about myself... just as many women turn to  breast augmentation to make themselves feel better.  I never considered this example to be used my a female but it can be. 


Keep it up dani you're kicking arse!!!!!!!!! and it's great that you love PB so much but go get some Flax seed oil!!!!!!!!!!


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## Eggs (Jun 28, 2002)

Hey Danilee!  I've stopped by a few times without posting, but wanted to drop a note and say it sounds like you are doing great.  Pics look good too 

   

Hmm, 8 cups of brocolli huh?   The things we do to ourselves 

Keep it up!

Eggs


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## danilee (Jun 28, 2002)

Hi All,

about 1am here, going to be headed to the gym and the store in a bit(thank goodness for 24hourfitness or I would never train with the hours I keep)

I wanted to comment first on J'bo,  by no means was I hinting that you did not know what you were talking about...You are one bright chick   I think though, many jump on the bandwagon, and claim that gear is unhealthy, will turn me into a "man" ect.  When we really sometimes don't realize that we are a product of SOMONE ELSES ideas about health...Cosmetic surgery cannont be "SAFER" than doing low dose gear to reach the next level of performance.  I do believe many can make AWESOME gains without gear...Heck, the first time I trained hard and dieted for a show I WAS AMAZED at what I had in me...When one though, wants to take it to the next level, and they are faced  with imparied recovery ect...I for one get HORRIBLE cold sores and joint pain when in a cal reduced state for too long..I am also faced with basicly having even MORE issues with fat gain that someone else when it comes time to bulk...Call me crazy, or tell me I have body issues(don't most of us here?) but I can't (OK DON"T WANT TO) gain 10lbs, and 3 of that be muscle...Maybe it would be different if I did not make a living with my appearance, but I have to be SOMEWHAT lean to earn money, and that limits me in my quest to be the best female bodybuilder I can be.

I basicly stopped lying to myself and realized that I can't ALWAYS do everything perfectly...PERFECT ALL THE TIME, YEAR ROUND, is what it takes to be a good natty bodybuildier(of course there are exceptions)  

As I said before, Timea, Monica, Lena, LOOK STUNNING AND SEXY..
HAs anyone followed Kelly Ryans career here?  That girl is a great athlete, I give her many    for that, but have you seen the way she has changed over the years...If you look at her older photos and her new ones it is a different girl...She not only has geared ALOT, but has had face surgery, implants, eyes lips and nose.  All to be a champ...Somtimes this is what it takes...This is not a "Take me as I am" sport.  I will not feel like I am cheating, or taking the easy way out at all either...I would never do a natty show if I was not natty...

I also can't picture kary O in my head, and while I am sure she is natural, understand many people in the biz don't come out and say, yeah I juice!  I mean heck, the other day I was at a a bb show, and an ifbb pro, easy 265 lean weight was asked..."How can somone go about looking the way you do" and this guy said "Eat lots of protien, and drink protien supplements"  I really don't like the way steriods are used in that manner...Making regular people feeling like they are somehow made wrong because they can't achieve that...Young kids, boys, often get discouraged when they don't blow up 20 pounds in 6 months...Like I said, plenty can be done without gear, but you don't get to be 3% bodyfat and 220 pounds by eating protien...

Try not to take this post the wrong way, I became slightly discourged when I found out the girls in the bikini comps out here were juicing...   I did'nt even think Hawaii was that compeitive but even at the local level the top placings (usually, NOT ALWAYS) at least in my exp. have geared a bit.  

OK, long winded off to the store, must get chicken...UPDATE TO FOLLOW.
Danilee


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## w8lifter (Jun 28, 2002)

> _*Originally posted by J'Bo *_
> 
> I dont know anything about those types of gear. W8 are they available in Canada?



I'm not sure what specific types of gear you're speaking of but yes, they would be available in Canada...I'm not so sure you'd get them w/ a script the way danilee is though


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## danilee (Jun 28, 2002)

OK Guys,

I didn't make it to the gym OR the store..My carb up today anyway, and oats stay good forever, plenty in the cabinet.

Had a very long and draining talk with my sig other..We have been living together now for about 1.5 years, and I never really wanted to cohabit with anyone every again...I wanted a marriage or a dating(not monogamous) realtionship...When a women really becomes invovled with a man, it takes so much of her energy because I feel she does most of the emotinal work for the both of them...We know how men can just live like nothing is wrong most of the time   Despite what I do for a living and my views on stuff like gear, my sexual escapades while not prudish, when I am settled, I am settled...

Basicly, he is an officer in the military...Family tried to bring him up right, got out of the inner city, and he got him self an ivy league education...Family is now respected in the community, and have handfuls of lawyers and Drs in this generation.  He is a black man, and I am just a girl who is curious about customs, race and culture, and he attracted me...Well, now, I know we love each other dearly, I mean that true friendship stuff...That heavy bond that can move mountains if it must...I did soooo much dirt, in the name of NOT BEING MARRIED SO IT IS OK DON"T YA THINK!!!! 

Well, now he is saying there are no doubts that he wants to get married, and that I am the one...He has told familiy ect...But he said this stuff about a month ago...We have not set a date, and the whole STRIPPING BIT, keeps comming up...I mean, everyone....Although there are many girls who have finished their education while dancing, there are many that KEEP DANCING even after they have that degree...The money IS JUST TOO GOOD!
Now, I don't have that degree, and at this time, jobs are SCARCE in Hawaii...He is afraid of all the social pressures that arise(being an officer)  HE himself, has some issues, and he is not sure if it is because he is afraid of other questioning his CHARACTER...I understand this, but I would be the one doing the job I DON"T WANT TO, FOR OTHERS...He said he knows he does not want to think inside the box all the time, but it is hard not to in the conservative job he is in...He is in the military, and I know the date he is leaving...Does not seem right that I should commit like this, and KNOW he is leaving...man, I am bummed out..I have other plans and such for myself...The miltary also, if married too it, you give up A LOT...moving every 2 or 3 years...ALL THAT POLITICS IN THE OFFICER RANKS.  I have ideas on what could work with that (the moving ect) but me just taking one tenth of what I earn now would get me no where...He claims I can do whatever I want he will take care of me...He is still a young man, although with a bright future, he CAN"T put me through school full time..

I don't know why I wrote this, maybe just to vent...Maybe to share how you can get your energy and zest for training and sticking to your diet taken away when energy pulls like this happen...Of course I started it   But we have been talking about marrige with him on the sure end for the past year, and him knowing "I am the one" or so he told his mom 2 months ago...I want the security before I stop dancing, not through myself out there YET AGAIN.

SO anyways, no cheating on my diet, just didi'nt eat enough...Did not train, feel a tad guilty, but this is a lifestyle....Right 

OK, more later
danilee


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## danilee (Jun 28, 2002)

man, excuse the spelling and HORRIBLE GRAMMER!  Hope that made sense!


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## craig777 (Jun 28, 2002)

Danilee,

Wish you the best with your sig. other. I agree that men usually don't overdo the emotions, but we are men and that is what we are like.  

I am not one for gear, but if that is what you decide you have to be happy with it. I would like to say that you commented you want to take it to the next level, but is there another level after that and another after that. You are an incredibly beautiful young lady, and as you mention you make some good money. I don't understand why you would do something that is not exactly the most healthy thing to do. Is it to win the competitions. Are these competitions that important. 

My new trainer is female and is on steroids, there is a pic of her in my journal if you want to look.   

Hope I haven't said anything wrong, just putting in my 2 cents.


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## Pitboss (Jun 28, 2002)

Hey Dani thanks for opening up to us. I do it all the time and have never felt like I needed to go back and delete it. It's a vent, a rant and sometimes a plea for some help or understanding.  In someway everyone here becomes like family, a supportive, unopinionated family that most or all of us never had.  It's almost like being in a confessional.. I can talk but I can't see who I'm talking to...  except here I don't haveto feel guilty for masturbating LOL

You definately come off as very bright girl who knows what she would like out of life and wieghs the sacrifices that might have to be made. Sometimes you just have to jump and make the best of whatever landing you get, sometimes its hard cement and other times is a feather bed..


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## J'Bo (Jun 28, 2002)

Danilee,

I was actually commenting on how much i dont know about gear. I was not saying that you thought i was nieve. Email and messages over the net are hard to read sometimes.

Well i am not sure i will ever really understand why people do gear, but thanks sharing your reasons why. I believe that if i cant find 3 other reasons for competing or doing gear (other than for winning a comp. or looking better) then its isnt for me. I want to have kids later on in life, and would never fuq with my hormones that way. I do not look down at anyone who does them though, i just find it hard to understand. Kelly Ryan is my favorite Fitness pro and although she did not get that way from just wroking out and eating right, i still admire her. Kary Odiatu is a new Canadian fitness pro and she competed in the 2002 Arnold Classic and New York pro show this year. She is a friend of mine and i know for a fact that she does not do gear. I have seen her struggle with being one of the only clean and boob free women on stage before, and it must not be easy. 

Anyways.
I have been to Hawaii before and i look at it as "a fantasy land". It is the most beautiful place i have ever seen, and hope to go back soon. A friend of mine goes to University of Honolulu (i think thats right). 

Well i hope you have a great weekend and i cant wait to see what kind of gains you make in the coming monthes.


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## danilee (Jun 29, 2002)

Today went pretty well....Yes, I know lots of PB in here again, but at work all I can eat is pro shakes, and They can't be in a fridge, so I thought cream would go bad, so used PB...On the flax, there is no store near me that puts  their flax in the fridge...I know that at the health food store 45 mins away they have some udos refridg.  So I will get some when time permits..Until then I will have to make do with pb in my shakes at work...Cream at home...
What is so bad about eating alot of pb if indeed you don't eat too many cals?  I know there is an allergen in PB, I think it is call AFLATOXIN not sure if I spelled that right...It is in peanuts, and it grows on all peanuts in the silos on the farm sight...Many people are allergic, but I don't seem to have a problem...But just like lactose, I don't have a problem with that either, I think everyone may hold a little extra water when they eat a highly allerginic food, just that you really can't notice it unless you are super lean and shredded...

Meal 1
2 scoop des whey
3 tbs cream

meal 2
tuna 7oz
1.5 tbs mayo
salad

meal 3
6 whites
1 yolk
1 oz cheddar cheese

meal 4
2 scoop  des whey
1.5 scoop pb

meal 5
2 scoop des whey
1.5 scoop pb

meal 6 
.5 scoop des whey
6 whites
1.5 scoop pb

Yes, not many veggies in here either...I LOVE VEGGIES, but they kind of are a NO NO on the work days...Gas, and bloating in the evening just comes with eating a few cups of veggies with meals during they day...does not feel good  so, during my off days, I eat like 6-8 cups, but morning of workdays I stay away.

No training today, worked...danced on stage for about 2 staight hours, no crazy flips or anything, but a couple splits and kicks...We don't dance all crazy here, just more like club dancing, but more sexy...in one spot most of the time....hell on the knees 

Things are going well...Think I might go to the Hawaiian Islands bb show tommorrow(blow off work ) Ronnie Coleman and Kelly Ryan are guest posing.  Never seen Ronnie up close before should be fun.

OH my numbers today are
1909 carb 36 fat 98  pro 241


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## Eggs (Jun 29, 2002)

Hey Danilee, glad to hear you had a nice day!  It should be fun skipping work and hitting the BB show, take some pics for us 

I'm not sure if your man is in the Navy or some other service... but if he is, it can be a pretty hard life.  Not knocking it, but if he is ship bound then it is possible that he'll be away a good amount of time.  The military isnt easy on ones personal life.  If he is in another service it is somewhat different.  My brother is an army officer (I'm just a Navy grunt  ) and he spends a good bit of time away from his wife.  He got married about a year ago and became an officer about a month after that.  Since then he has probably been home about 1/2 that time (of course he is a new O so they stepped on a bit, over time its not so bad).  Anyways, I'm sure you will do whats right for you 

Diet looks good!  Too bad no veggies though.  Think I'm going to go home and make a stir fry.

Have a good day tomorrow.


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## danilee (Jun 29, 2002)

Eggs,

Hi, and thanks for the post...Actually my sig other IS AN ARMY OFFICER TOO...funny small world...He is only in because westpoint gave him a free education and he is giving back his 6 years   I know first hand about the navy...One good thing is officers make a bit more money and it does go a long way with quality of life..

I used to be married to an enlisted navy man, was pretty poor, and he would go out to sea, for 6 month tours(and we lived in guam, a island that was 16 by 30 miles long)...THAT WAS TOUGH

..
I found a beautiful man in the one I am with now, and we do intend to marry...It is the POLITICS of MY JOB, that are causing problems...His CHARACTER is judged upon promotions, and if I am busy entertaining his soilders at the local bar it can cause huge problems if we were married(there are certain rules of conduct an officer has to follow as well as military law, that is more stricltly enforced on officers)...I kind of have to choose...I don't have alot of an education, and at this point I kinda of like the entertainment aspect of my job(the money helps too   He can't affored to just put me in school full time, so I WOULD BE THE ONE, waiting tables or what not..(not that there is anything wrong with being a waitress, I did it before) but, I would RATHER do this for now...So, the realtionship is great, but these issues cloud it...Issues that are silly ones in the big game of life and death...

THanks again eggs
danilee


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## danilee (Jun 29, 2002)

OH, and the navy boys are the best ones to party with..My stepfater was navy nuke, and loved his time in...Most Os (the down to earth ones) wish they could be more carefree, and less concerened with apperance....

I love the navy boys when they come into my club after a long sea tour...HUGE MONEY NIGHTS FOR ME>>>>>sailors rule...

I am sure you understand EGGs, just think if you were stationed somewhere and YOUR COs WIFE was dancing on the MAIN stage of the strip joint    Can you imagine the heyday you guys would have with that???????  That would be pretty crazy huh...

Take care Eggs
danilee


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## Eggs (Jun 29, 2002)

Hey Danilee   Yep, I fully understand... that kind of stuff doesnt work out in todays military (the dancing part - perhaps 15 years ago it woudl've).  You sound like you know what you want, thats cool   You know, being a military spouse does offer some incentives for education.  I'm not sure exactly what they are in the Army and if it changes per base, but you might want to look into that.  Wouldnt be a bad way to get an education!

Whew, not Navy, thats cool.  I've had a good time in the Navy, but I would never want to subject my family to this (which is why I dont have one).  Of course you know this.

Yep, it the small stuff that gives us the biggest headaches I think.  I'm sure you'll work it out fine though 

Have a good weekend.


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## danilee (Jun 29, 2002)

Yeah eggs, I know about the education perks, but even with and edu I would still dance now that I have been doing it, get my schooling(if that is what I still want)done with when I have invested a shitload...At that is what us girls make...I don't like painting by the numbers...

Oh and if you don't mind me asking, what is your rate, and where are you stationed...You seem like a kind clear thinking young man to consider what a family would have to go through...The military will ALWAYS come first, no matter how many PERKS they claim are for the families...You are first a formost the Navys, then you can consider family..>Hard?  I'll say..

danilee


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## danilee (Jun 29, 2002)

OOOh I just looked at your avatar and info...Italy, NAPLES????


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## Eggs (Jun 29, 2002)

Yep Danilee... thats why I'm getting out in two weeks   The Navy is an impersonal organisation and I am a personal kinda guy.  

Hrm, I'm an IT2 (Information guys, but never worked in my rate... long story).  Stationed in La Maddalena Italy, small island off the coast of Sardinia (another island).  West of Naples about 45 minutes by flight.  Ever been over here?  I've been to Naples a few times, but its so big... and I just live on a small island.  A tad overwhelming 

Yeah, dont show me your salary, no doubt I'd feel sick.  I'd take up dancing, but I'm incredibly ugly   Investing is always cool, never to early or too late to save some money!


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## w8lifter (Jun 29, 2002)

> _*Originally posted by danilee *_
> 
> What is so bad about eating alot of pb if indeed you don't eat too many cals?



Can throw off your carb count, most people can not stop at 1 tbsp, create an imbalance of n-3's to n-6's, when you're eating peanut butter..you're not eating flax!


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## danilee (Jul 1, 2002)

Friday I did'nt get a chance to put my food log up, and it did'nt help that I ate an extra meal without counting what was going in..Had about 2200-2300 cals no training...work only...

I decided to adapt w8s and DPs cutting diet for women, to exclude carbs on the down days, and just do the loading days...Not much of a changed really, just less PB, AND I bought me some UDOS at the health food store  also got REAL whipping cream, with the 5gms fat at 1tbs...Because w8s suggestion is to cut, I am going to be playing with cals(and yes cutting most if not all the pb )  I am hitting about 2000 a day, atleast that is is the meal plan I posted on my fridge.  Very low carb, with the carb ups 2 times a week.   I honestly forget about food(well never compeltely) when I eat no carbs...It is an effort to eat as I should, and without those creamy shakes it would be difficult to actually EAT all those cals in REAL FOOD, like chicken and oil(and believe me, I am a HUGE eater, I can eat ALL DAY< HUNGRY OR NOT)...I once dieted for 8 weeks on NOTHING but chicken breast and flax oil   after a few days, I was NEVER thinking about food....Carbs seem very addicting to me, just half a cup oats in the 1st meal has me jonesing for more within 30 mins...Not so when I eat some oil instead.... SOOOO, with that said I will post YESTERDAYS meal plan.....and yes, with my blood sugar issues in the past, low carb intake over a lifetime is feasible, as it seems the carb loads DO NOT effect me much, and I see myself being able to cheat on a carb load day and not jones for more and more daily there after.

Meal 1
7oz tuna
1.5tbs safflower mayo
salad

meal 2
shake
1 tbs udos 
2 scoop designer

meal 3
7 oz chicken
1 tbs olive oil
salad

meal 4
Shake with 3 tbs cream

meal 5
7oz chicken
1tbs pb
half tbs olive oil butter
veggies 

meal 6
shake with 3 tbs cream

2081 cals(had 3 packs of equal sweetner, and half and half somewhere too) 102grams of fat
20 grams of carbs
240 grams of pro

Did legs on sunday(as per w8) and while getting up and training after working the weekend was and IS hard, and I don't want to do it...She was right as my body IS getting used to it...I try to train late and at the same time 9 or 10pm sunday...Feels good   I used to just sit on my ass on sundays thinking I needed a cheat meal and a movie or something, but then I was only training like 2 times a week(of course in the past I trained consistanly 6 days) but I thought I was hurting my growth by adding more work to my legs....I see now maybe the weights I was lifting had more to do with meal TIMING and regularity, AND the fact that quads were not getting hit with maximime effort....

Sig other decided that he would like to get on the bandwagon(again) he goes out to the field often and simply CAN"T eat bodybuilding food there, and they have these guys running 7 days a week, sleeping in tents and eating MREs which consist of Nasty space age saltine crackers, HIGH SUGAR LOW PRO MEALS...YUCK,  The stuff is NASTY...We started him at 150(5f8i) and he is now 180....Now I went to the bulking thread, and it said for a man at 180 going to 195 in five weeks, and outlined a plan...He is sticking with it for the most part(he wants to compete next year) but he did drink gatorade after PT this morn because he is used to getting like 500 grams of carbs a day   I figure this is the first time EVER moderating carbs so blood sugar is going to be a little funky for a few days....

Now, the bulking plans for both men and women, have a supps scheduale that calls for creatine....ME and 2000 or so cals a day, would I just be wasting money taking 5 grams or so a day of it?

danilee


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## Dr. Pain (Jul 1, 2002)

Danilee, if you are using DPw8 bulking plans..the fat will satisfy his carb cravings the way it does yours!  No need for sugars !

We would like to see 3-4 frozen strawberries in your shakes at this point for more phytonutrients, Vit C , and fiber! 

The creatine is totally optional......if you have good energy levels throughout your W/O, and since it causes bloat in some people...I would save it in your bag of tricks for later when you feel depleted from dropping your calories and macronutrients!


DP


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## danilee (Jul 1, 2002)

DP,

Acutally, maybe my post above was confusing...I am trying to CUT or at least what I call "harden up"...I am about 18-19% bodyfat, and I don't think I should bulk until I am a tad leaner.  I am using your cutting plans but without starchy carbs AT ALL except on 2 days of the week..I am wondering if on a cut, and 2000 cals(at 140 or so) if creatine is a viable option?

danilee


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## danilee (Jul 1, 2002)

Oh, also will do a hal a banana or few berries per shake


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## Dr. Pain (Jul 1, 2002)

Danilee, I know you are cutting....no bananas..I was talking about creatine for you..and the bulking for him!

DP


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## danilee (Jul 1, 2002)

OH,

my bad, totatlly, I see you use the word HIS....I need to not just speed read...

sorry

OK, only had half a nana today...So, no more...

thanks
danilee


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## Jenny (Jul 2, 2002)

Hey danilee! Just read through your whole journal (no, I'm not very busy at work!  ) and I really enjoyed it!

You're working very hard and that is very inspiring.. I know I could never handle those working hours.. I can hardly sleep when the sun is up..  
When you first brought up the gear-thing I thought "I thought that girl was smart", but after reading your arguments for it, I can really understand were you're coming from! If you decide that's what's best for you, no one should tell you otherwise!

Just want to give you a big  ! Keep it up girlie, I'll be following your progress!


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## danilee (Jul 2, 2002)

Today Went OK...at best...

Ran out of food, did'nt really realize how fast it was going to go with SO and myself eating so much 

Had to have 3 shakes instead of the 2 that my meal plan called for, was a little off but no worries...

Not alot of sleep last nigh/morning really, I never get to bed before 5am...   I took melatonin, and it seems to make me fall asleep, but it wakes me up alot sooner too...about 5 hours is all I can get on it ...So napped, a bit before the gym, and SO made it there with me, a whole 2days now   Well, lets say there have been alot of starts and stops on his side, mainly because he works like 12-13 hours a day,,AND PTs on a daily basis, so he is not always happy to go, but he goes...I would like to somehow schedual things so he feels better, but it really is impossible...He has always been by my side, and VERY supportive of the BB lifstyle, but when we do things together like train and diet, he will let the slightest things knock him off course..I totally understand(hence the work stuff above) but I sometimes don't like to have the energy and motivation for the both of us...Somtimes it is enough to get MYSELF to the gym....Does anyone here have well meaning SOs that do all the stuff with you, but really don't want to?  You love them for it, but somtimes I am like "You don't have to compete for me, I love you reagardless"  I am totally flattered by his attention, but sometimes it is dragging on my energy....Maybe I should be more grateful, infact I starting NOW am going to be more grateful 

Food was a tad high(maybe not, w8 or DP will probably let me know if it was)  Cutting, but not doing cardio...I seem to feel like I am thickening in the middle, but I suppose it is about that time of the month...I hope that is the reason   I know it takes patience also since I am not HARDCORE cutting for a show, and just trying to lean out slowly that I may not see results as fast as in the past on a diet...

Meal 1
4 whites
1 yolk
4 oz chicken
1 tbs oil

meal 2
shake
3 tbs cream
2 scoop designer
1/2 banana

meal 3
4 oz chciken
4oz steak
1tbs olive oil spread
veggies

meal 4 
shake w strawberries and peach slices

meal 5
shake with udos oil strawberrie and peach slices here too!

meal 6
1.5 cups dry oats
1.5 cup frozen berries
1tbs PB

Cals
2450 Pro 228 fat 103 carb 165

Trained Back and Bis
Bent over row 2 warm up sets 3 working of 10-6 reps 
Pullups with spotter, failure at 6 reps(no help)2 sets
rev grip pulldown.  Failure at 6 3 sets

Bis
dumbell curl 2 sets good form, not quite failure at 10
preacher curl. 2 sets of 6 failure. no cheating

danilee


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## danilee (Jul 2, 2002)

Nike girl,

Thanks for the reply...I have read your journal as well!  You are one pretty girl(I also am totally aware of some of the issues you spoke about, I think most women deemed ATTRACTIVE by the popular media feel like they always have the strict standard to live up to, and obsess if they don't)...I am soooo envious of where you live..It sounds  adventursome to travel thoughout Europe...That is my dream ya know. to travel the world, live in the areas for awhile...Learn about customs, food, culture...Europe is on the list, as well as the middle east and asia..I think India is first though...You already have seen alot...Do things very much in that area of the world?  Is it kind of like a New Englander going to the deep south, when you travel to other countries?  Or is it just not much of a change for someone who has done that all their lives?

What does your boyfriend do that he is away all the time?  His job sounds exciting, but I bet the hotel and ALWAYs flying about is very hard on the body and mind as well....

Take Care
danilee


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## Jenny (Jul 2, 2002)

Hey danilee! 

I'm so glad you've read my journal! Thank's for the compliment.. I  hope you're not dealing with issues like that now, cause girl, you're tha bomb!!  It must be hard dancing and acting sexy somtimes if your self-confidence is low one day (don't we all have those days? lol)..
You're living in Hawaii and you're complaining?? OMG, I'd switch with you any day!  Seriously though, I like living in Sweden, but the weather sux right now.. It's nice to have so many countries around though, I've been to most in Europe.. Every country do have their own culture, even though it's slowly changing over time.. The European union has changed many things.. 
I've been in US some times as well (3 times) and I really like it there too.. I wouldn't mind living there for some years.. I guess everyone longs for places far away, the grass is always greener.. 
I'm going to live in Rome for two months starting the 12th of august to study italian.. I've never been there and I'm very excited! You should come visit me! 

I've never been to Asia either.. I'd love to go there.. China and Thailand first I think.. My bf was in Beijing some weeks ago and it seemed so amazing!

My boyfriend work at a mobile phone company and have reached a pretty high position the latest year.. He is nine years older than me, so he is a bit ahead of me.. He travels pretty much, and he finds it exciting yet at the same time difficult.. 

Oh well, I better go! Take care,
NG


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## Stacey (Jul 2, 2002)

Isn't she the sweetest Danilee?? 

Danilee~ just wanted to say HI! (reading thru your journal) and your doing soo great honey!!  Keep it up!!


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## danilee (Jul 4, 2002)

100 fat 60 carb 211 pro
cals at 2000 today...

Foods are about the same had about 3 tbs pb, but also had udos 2 times today and egg yolks and olive oil, so mixed it up a bit.

It has been about 2 weeks since I started this journal.  I believe I "may" be adding bodyfat, hard to say...My waist is thicker(but it may be due to that time of the month due in the next week or so)  also, was not eating NEARLY this amount of veggies before, and sad to say I think at the end of the day, it might cause some distention...

I have done cardio maybe 2 times in the past 2 weeks, also, work has suprisingly been less busy, so I have that uneasy feeling of "not burning off this food"  I know though that just 3 weeks ago I was carbing up on 5 bagles and burgers 2 times a week, and it may not be enough time to tell..Anyone think I should start cardio?  I know I feel GREAT on this diet, my lifts are good, and I feel strong....I am afraid to cut cals, or maybe I am just being silly, and need to wait it out...

I am taking the advice of all here...I feel harder and stronger, but my bodyfat may being going up...Could be water, and that little voice in my(and I am sure others) head that always wants to bail out given the slightest hint at somthing not working...My carb ups these past 2 weeks have had me at about 2500 cals...I do have some anxiety about that...I have not been active besides the training and work, and my body as I said feels good...Something tells me though that the body has to get enough of this food and rest first, then it will show me something 

Trained hammies and shoulders today No cardio, no work, just sat on my butt all day reading and on the net.

Yesterday was good food wise also...About 2200 cals, no training, work was slow..moderate activity for about 30 mins or so.

Hope everyone is doing well..
Nike girl, I would LOVE to come visit you in Italy...How many languages do you speak?

danilee


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## J'Bo (Jul 4, 2002)

Danilee,

I felt the same thing you are feeling, maybe it is from the heavy cream. I know that as soon as i cut of any form of lactose my tummy gets flatter. The heavy cream sure does help to build the muscles though, i swear that thats what did it for me. Are you steaming your veggies or eating them raw? i found that if i ate raw veggies it was alot harder to digest. Hope you have a great day.


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## w8lifter (Jul 4, 2002)

> _*Originally posted by danilee *_
> Anyone think I should start cardio?  danilee



No, I don't. Cardio is only going to eat away at your muscle and/or reduce your gains. You do enough cardio at work. If you're going to tweak something I'd say it should be your diet.

I'd w8 a week and drop kcals by 200.


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## J'Bo (Jul 4, 2002)

Man i dont understand why people always want to do cardio.
I hate it with a passion. 

So have you made a decision on the gear yet Danilee?


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## danilee (Jul 5, 2002)

I understand about the cardio, it is just the first thing that comes to my mind when I feel I am putting on some bodyfat...It somtimes seems easier to do that...I kept a VERY lean body always doing cardio, but it drove me CRAZY...It is like you a chained to the machine and you HAVE to do it everyday,if you want to or not, and then you start asking youself..."Am I going to have to do 1.5 hours a cardio a day for the rest of my life to maintain this?"  And you asnwer"YES" and see your strength and muscle disappear, time to reconsider...

Well W8 and DP, you are getting a new client in about 15 mins I realize that I always have a lot of doubt when I trust myself on a cutting plan, and it looks like I may be doing something wrong   The oulines and tons of info you give out is AWESOME, but even with that EVERYONE has to have his/her needs met on a personal level...Like my job is very differnt from say and office one, and I need guidance!

SO, here I come.

NEW JOURNAL TO FOLLOW.


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## Dr. Pain (Jul 5, 2002)

We are looking forward to working with you Danilee....your attention to detail and discipline are awesome! 



DP


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## Eggs (Jul 5, 2002)

Hmm, Danilee and NG parting it up in Italy.  Damn me for leaving  

Have a good weekend, hope you have fun with team DP/w8


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## danilee (Jul 8, 2002)

Ok,This weekend went very well...Did'nt keep up with the posting, but kept on track with diet and training..

I am going to be hiring DP and W8 to help me with a "possible" pre comp diet...Not sure on the pre comp, but they are going to help me with my immediate goals.  So I am sure soon my diet and training will be changing, but I am sure nothing too radical.

Today was good
2300 cals 165 carbs 220 pro. hmmm I forget the fat content, get that later.

Legs, trained heavy, and started doing box squats to get my squat form at it's very best. 

It looks like last week precieved waist thickness was indeed just a lot of water..It is gone now...

Here was my diet
meal 1
6 egg whites 1 yolk
.5 tbs olive oil
3.5 oz chicken

meal2
2 scoop des whey
1 tbs udos
peaches slices (7)

meal 3
4 oz steak
4 oz chicken
salad
1/2 tbs olive oil

meal 4
5 oz chicken
2 tbs pb
veggies

meal 5
2 tbs pb
2 scoop des whey

meal 6 carb meal
1.5 cups cooked rice
40 raisins
1 tbs cream
7 oz sweet pot.  had this in 2 meals
5 liters water

I am now 148 dressed, weight I know is no big deal, water weight for us girls is very fly by night...I feel very solid, and can see some fullness in the shoulders and chest...Legs feel good, and can slightly(very pale, and not tan) see some definition, and can really feel the seperate muscle groups...I am unsure if at this point much fat loss will happen, and really I just want to see improvements in strength, and maybe some more fullness, wihtout putting on more fat, or getting any softer...Still being able to live life(and not have to do 1 hour cardio session a day)  this is why the contest thing may or may not happen...I have gone with some large weight fluctuations in the past year in a half, and my body was having NO MORE...I have to give it time and nov may be too soon...Maybe next spring is a better goal...I just came off 7 day a week cardio, and contest dieitng(on and off) for the past year...So, while I think W8 and DP, could be a great team for me, I am not sure my bod wants to do this again just yet...I just had my first period 2 MONTHS IN A ROW, and that has not happend in a very long(years) time.  While I don't like having full hips, and no six pack, it seems my insides do. I am getting married soon, and looks like I am going to be having problems with fertility so many more questions to be asked of myself.  So far my missed periods AND CONTEST DIETING have been the best birth control,...Although not trying to control it(everyone would be happy) it seems as though a year in half is long time for no pregnancy to occure...The dieting will do that to ya I guess

..More journaling later..

danilee


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## J'Bo (Jul 8, 2002)

Your getting married? When did that happen? I thought that there were some issues with your/his job?

I am excited for you. I love weddings and i am a planning freak, so mine is pretty much already thought out (even though i am not engaged yet). Let me know all the details of the wedding. Pics are definately a must.


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## danilee (Jul 8, 2002)

J'Bo

Although we have had our issues, and indeed his career as an officer may be effected, we have lived together almost two years, and have been best friends for the duration of that...Believe me, this man is one I don't think I will EVER give up...I have done some pretty hairy stuff, and he takes it in stride, and makes me want to be a better person..Just when I feel pressured, by his family and his job, I start to get upset..I feel I am not doing things the way I WANT, not even the way HE truly wants, but the way EVERYONE ELSE WANTS...

It is important for him for me to meet his mother(she is a minister, and I have always felt that she did not think much of me) we are going there in August...So somtime around there.

I also was married to a HS sweetheart, the DAY he came back from basic training at 17 years old...He was off to Guam..He wanted me to come too, so we got married with the JP and NO ONE ELSE.  So this would be my 2nd marriage, but truly a thought out one, and all benefits weighed...A mature marriage I guess...I don't like big weddings(sorry) I like to put the effort between us two first and formost...It is so easy to lose each other in the shuffle.  We live in Hawaii, so I suppose a small ocean side wedding in Maui or Kaui, more than likly no family...Just us...I guess that seems strange, but it really is just US anyway...Him traveling and us moving due to his job leaves us with just each other for the next 10 years or so...So I guess that is symbolic..Although he is definilty tied deep with his family, things will probably work out this way.

So are you even involved with anyone?

Take care
danilee


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## J'Bo (Jul 8, 2002)

Danilee,

Now i see what is going on girl. Congrats and it sounds like this guy is a keeper. There is nothing better than an understanding and supportive man. Big weddings are overrated (even though i personally want one) it sounds like an intimate solo day would suit you two perfectly. Everything will turn out well, and i am sure his mother will love you like we do.

I have been going out with a great guy for just over 4 years. We are planing to move to the usa soon and are excited about starting a new chapter in our lives. As for a wedding, not yet and i dont know when. You guys will be one of the firsts to know though. Plus i also have a crush and cyber fling with Kuso. Hhahahaha. I love this place.

Take care our little beauty.


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## danilee (Jul 9, 2002)

J'Bo,

I am glad to hear you have a honey, I thought you were saying you already planned a wedding before the man came along lol.

I have read through you journal, but I forget where you are...Canada????  What part of the USA will you be moving too?...Yes starting a new life together in a different country sounds very romantic and excititing...So now you are the Donut queen hehehe...You are soo cute...I saw how DP pegged you as such in a older thread....You take things in stride

Also, does kary odatiu(sP?) have a website?

danilee


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## craig777 (Jul 9, 2002)

Danilee, Congratulations. I hope you have a wonderful marriage.  

I know w8 and DP will set you up, but can I ask why you have rice and sweet potato the last meal, and only protein the first meal. Probably has something to do with your schedule, but I would think it should be just the opposite.


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## danilee (Jul 9, 2002)

Thanks craig.

The reason why the carbs are not spaced out through out the entire days is beacuae that day was a 'refeed or carb up day" It happens 2 times a week..Sunday and thursday...The rest of the week is low carb less than 60 grams of non starchy veggies and whatever is in my pro shakes...It is macro nutrient cycling, and while I have done this before, it is the first time I am doing it and understanding the hows and whys...Many benefits, really too long to post here...A good book that EXHAUSTs the subject is Nat. Hormonal enhacment. Faigin...It is low carb with carbs ups in the simplest terms...
Hope your training is going well, with your trainer I would expect so
Have a great day craig...
danilee


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## Leslie (Jul 9, 2002)

Just thought I'd say hi! I love reading your journal. You always have an interesting way of writing your thoughts! What you said about a small wedding is true- I had never thought of it that way. I like Jbo have been with my BF for 4 years, still waiting  for the moment- hopefully it will be soon. Part of me wishes we were one of those couples so madly in love that after 4 mos we get married- but here we are 4 years later  I am not in a rush though- I want to be 1000% sure. Take care Danilee.


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## Stacey (Jul 9, 2002)

Hey Danilee~ Congratulations on getting married!! Your guy sounds great, and I wish ya'll TRUE HAPPINESS!!!  
Marrying your best friend is the way to go!! Thats what I did!!!
I think thats great your having a small wedding.. do it the way you guys want! OHHH Its going to be beautiful by the beach!!! lucky!! I had a Big one... because our parents wanted the big thing~yeah I did too .. kinda.. because as a little girl its what I always wanted.. but then I got scared of all the people, etc. . Well we had the big thing.. (650-700 people)~ church, band, hall, food, dance.. etc.... first it cost a TON of money, AND LOTS OF HEADACHES.. 2nd.. you were sooo right when you you said in your other post: "It is easy to lose each other in the schuffle" Right on the money babe!! My husband and I were nuts the hole 6 months before the wedding.. WE Made it through it.. but oh how wonderful a beach wedding for us Two ONLY Sounded~~~ GO FOR IT!!! CONGRATS!! When do you think You guys will do it?? After meeting his mom in August? I am SURE SHE WILL LOVE YOU!!!! I know you have got to be scared being that she is a minister.. but just treat her like shes a Doctor or something.. lol!! 

okay really, just wanted to say CONGRATS! You will make a beautiful Bride!!


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## J'Bo (Jul 10, 2002)

> _*Originally posted by danilee *_
> J'Bo,
> 
> I am glad to hear you have a honey, I thought you were saying you already planned a wedding before the man came along lol.
> ...



Yes i am from Canada, Winnipeg, Manitoba. My bf is going down to Florida next week to check it out. His mom lives there right now, and i will be very excited if he comes back with  thumbs up.
I am excited about starting a new life in another country, but it will be hard because i am very close with my sister in Banff, Alberta, and my new brother who is only 3 years old (who lives here). You will have to share some tips for surviving without family nearby. Yes i love donuts and everytime someone mentions them i want one. Kuso is out shopping for some now, for me in fact. LOL. 

Yes Kary's website is www.karyodiatu.com

Take care.
Hugs and kisses to you.


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## danilee (Jul 12, 2002)

Training this week has been hard...I feel that lagging, dragging stuff in the bod...Thank God it is carb up time today....

I have yet to actually hire dp and w8, because I just can't make up my mind if I am ready to compete yet..

Leslie, the comp I am considering is Nov 9th as well, thought that was a nice coincidence.  I am really excited about it, but I have had some failed attempts at my last 2 comps, moving, job changes ect, that just did'nt allow me to continue.  The reason I would like to do this comp is because Oxygen mag and Rob sims I believe is going to be at this comp...I have a girlfriend who won last year and is now a bikini model featured in musclemag.  just the exposure is great, and you can earn cash!

J'bo, I remember seeing Kary before, actually saw the book her and her husband wrote long ago in oxygen I believe.  

I guess the only advice I can give is that you have to be best friends, and have alot of the same interests...When you are alone with your honey, to really make some tight bonds it is not too wise to go completly in the opposite direction of each other...Truly, I would rather spend time with my sweety than any other female friend.  I think that if you look at how we feel about our friends(like we choose to do things and make time for them) we should do the same for our SOs.  He ALWAYS will come first before anyone else.  That is our agreement...Now, many things like the military, by law, will take him away from me no matter what, but by knowing how we each are there for each other(not wrapped up with tons of other people, whom will move on as well...The military is harsh as you never keep the friends around permantly, we know that each is number 1...

I am not saying that other people can't be a part of your life, but how many times do we complain to our friends about our sos, but sometimes don't even take the time to really address what is going on between our sos, just take the easy way out and avoid stuff, and complain to others...I am just as guilty, but realize that is not how stuff gets done.  Openness even if it is hard, is mandatory..

I will more than likly post my diet in a bit...

danilee


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## Leslie (Jul 12, 2002)

Good Morning Danilee. You had better post your  meals.
It is an interesting coincidence about your possibel contest date of 11/09/02. Craig777 also has a show that day. What kind of contest is it. i know you don't believe in figure- so are you doing BB or fitness?

I am defiantely going to be the biggest "amateur" if I am there on the 9th-but I need to gather some EXPERIENCE!

As far as your man being number one. I agree 100%. In reality, I have learned friends will come and go quickly and sometimes do not have your best interests at heart. Your true love however should be there for you now matter what. It is important not to take advantage of that....Tak ecare Danilee. Keep the posts coming


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## craig777 (Jul 12, 2002)

That would be cool to have all three of us compete the same day.


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## danilee (Jul 12, 2002)

Leslie, on the contrary this is a figure contest.....BB for women out here in Hawii is really far and few in between and the women BBs out here are THE BIG GIRLS...The next BB show out here is in Dec I think, not sure, but there is NO WAY I could compete against those women, were are talking hearty National level women...This particular show is really geared for fitness modeling, and being bodybuilder ripped will not win it...I guess I gave the impression that I don't believe in figure, and there are many questions I have to ask myself before I set to do this...Being pretty is important to win this show, usually(well in the history of this show no one) has won without implants.
OH, I Just rmembered there is only 1 natural show here, and it is in August...As of right now I am natty, in the process of deciding which way I want to go...I ask myself,
Do I want to be judged on my body being sexy, curvy, and how big my boobs are compared to my waist?  It is tough for me, because I always feel judged on these things(and hell, MOST WOMEN ARE)  So that is why I am agaisnt it...I am for it, in this instance since there is no routine, I have not used, and I feel I can be somewhat nonattached to this contest...Judgeing is so irregular, that as somone posted in a thread of yours, you can't really go to win. Just to do your best...Sometimes though bodybuilding can be political too, but usually the biggest, leanest, most symmetrical bod wins.  

You are going to do great, and that is not lip service...You have the look and shape, with a great smile and great hair 
Just by the looks of you now, you are not far out at all.  I can't wait to see you kick butt...
danilee
PS, When I say Hearty I mean juiced..I have been a part of the bb community out here long enough to know that you simply CANNOT compte(sorry to rain on anyones parade) at a national level show without using.   OK, maybe one person will claim it, but not likely...So, if I wanted to take acutal BODYBUILDING anyfurther than the ONE natural contest they have out here I need to be ready to do what needs to be done...So, then I am left with figure...When I get back to the states I may try the Galaxy type comps...Don't get me wrong, w8 is Goregeous, so is CLP gold, and there was another natty women named Roadrunner on MM.com  ALL NATTY...They don't wiegh 150 at 5 percent bodyfat though...I have to either weight to get to the states to compete in the tested shows, or natural federations..They don't have any here..Bad enough that I JUST FOUND OUT about my show last week...The only give you 3 months notice...RANT OVER>>>SORRY


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## naturaltan (Jul 12, 2002)

Whew ... great reading!  Just thought i would drop in and say hello.  

Like all the others have said, you're very well spoken.  I'd love to hear about how the meeting between your fiance's mother and you goes.  I wrote a while back about my wife's g/f.  She is a dancer and recently, her parents found out she dances and they have turned their backs on her.  She has cancer so dancing is an excellent venue for her to make good money and go to her many doctor's appts throughout the week.  Hope things work out for you.  If/when we visit Hawaii, we'll be sure to look you up. 

take care and keep up the good work!


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## danilee (Jul 12, 2002)

Thanks NT,

Sorry if this is an inappropiate question, but are you and your wife swingers?  It seems like you have some rules regarding your activites(although I have not read all of your past posts I am sure)

I find the lifestyle interesting to say the least...I also am reading up on Polymory,(many loves) which is where you actually have loving realtionships with the sex...Most polys began with the ever popular swinging, and progressed from there...Anyways, sorry if I am way off here, but it seems you both have a great time, regardless if you fit the exact description of a swinger.

Also, if in fact it is something that interest you. There a many polymory, how would I say, tribes, or homes here...Actually in maui...These are the people that give the tantra workshops that I will be going to in the winter(even though me and SO are mono, anyone can partake in the lessons of spirtural love and sex)  It sounds like maybe just your kind of getaway..and only a 20 min flight for me

Take Care
danilee


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## naturaltan (Jul 12, 2002)

danilee sweetie ... check you PM.


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## Leslie (Jul 15, 2002)

Hey Danilee
Just wondering where you've been. You haven't been posting your updates or writing pieces...


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## buff_tat2d_chic (Jul 15, 2002)

Hi Danilee!

I have been following your journal, but haven't posted, yet. I have really enjoyed your journal. You sound like a woman who knows what she wants (except about competing LOL). Thanks for sharing with us.  

Oh, congrats on the marriage.


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## danilee (Jul 16, 2002)

Leslie,

Still here, and reading your journal almost daily.  You are doing great..

I have not been posting my stats and diet daily, simply because it does not change much.  Like I said I am hiring DP and w8.  w8 and I have discussed that I just should diet down and in the last 4 weeks if my body has responded well, then I will start a precomp.
I went today to go get a money order for my payment, and did'nt ya know it, the money order machine was broken...I hope that is not an omen  Here is that on the fence thing again...

I am really just wanting to be healthy, but boy I wanna get on a stage soon...Club Femme Nu just is not cutting it anymore..lol.  

I think I shared with everyone before, but it looks like a higher fat diet allows from some nice hormone production  and regulation...I always leaned on that side, low carb higher fat, but so much conflicting information that it is hard to stick with it, without someone kicking you in the butt..I am glad that DP and W8 are here, and that they work the way they do.  So, tonight I am going to make a special trip to get a money order so I can get this out and start my journey.

Still posting, still writing pieces...Still coming up with my orginal idea 

danilee


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## Leslie (Jul 16, 2002)

LOL, you are something else Danilee. 

Team DPW8 really know their stuff. I have already noticed changes in my body just from over 1 week. Really! 

Club Femme Nu, I assume thats where you work Catchy name.

Talk to you soon
Take care
Leslie


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## Dr. Pain (Jul 16, 2002)

Danilee, I don't know why, but you just inspired me to write about my own "get on stage" conflict here.....maybe for perspective or something!

The ABCers have seen this on a post I had "Will DP compete!"


Like you, I want to "go to the show".....and while preparing others for the stage....I usually diet down with them twice a year, kind of just to see the extra cuts and veins...and know that I am "Show Worthy!"    Last show I did this for..... Showdown who was there....and others from pictures I posted would tell you that I would have placed second or third in my class!  (There is always some freak that come out of the woodwork at these contests)

Here's the point(s)!  Unlike my collegues who have just started dieting for the November shows (and only look good 6 weeks out of the year), I maintain low BF year round....so even though I  cut 33% of my BF in my mock cuts (7.5% down to 5%)....I always have a choice in the last few weeks to do it or not!  We have had discussions here about "contest week"....the last week before a show.  I (IMO) consider this to be the only "unhealthy" time in the whole cutting experience.....because of fluid manipulation mainly.  The majority of the experience is gr8....you learn so much about your body and changing metabolism each time 


So my advice to you Danilee....is to cut, cut hard... the Show as the goal (it takes a goal).   At the very least you end up "leaner and more cut"....and there are many perks and compliments along the way for motivation.  DPw8 will always be honest with you....if you "have it "  and you "want it", we will take you all of the way!

For me, the gym is my stage...and I compete everyday!


DP


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## naturaltan (Jul 16, 2002)

DP, that was very well written!  "For me, the gym is my stage .. and I compete everyday" - I love that! 


Danilee, how goes every little thing?


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## buff_tat2d_chic (Jul 16, 2002)

Hi, Dannilee. Just pop'in in to check out journal today.


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## J'Bo (Jul 16, 2002)

Danilee,

You got married already?
I did not know i missed that much.
How did the meeting with the mom go?


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## w8lifter (Jul 17, 2002)

Awesome post DP!

And I'll add...the decision to compete is a difficult one...even when you've made the commitment and diet down right to the final week....you're mind plays tricks on you, your body changes from hour to hour at that point, never mind day to day....I know i almost pulled out of my last comp at the very last second because i just wasn't sure if my body was ready....that's where DP was such a help to me....he gave me so much attention and worked so closely w/ me...I'd give him a new pic practically every day and he'd adjust my diet according to what I looked like....it was amazing...and not only that....in the final few weeks your so stressed, weak, and spaced out due to dieting...the whole process is really so consuming...that just having him keep me motivated and giving me some perspective on what my body was doing was really a big help....that's what a coach is for really...to make all the decisions and releive some of your worries and stress so you can concentrate on eating and training. And when you finally step on stage it makes it all worth it....all I thought about was 'thank god I had DP!' lol.


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## J'Bo (Jul 17, 2002)

And thank god i had Team DPw8 for my last comp. I only decided to compete 3 weeks out and i had far to go. I was questioning wether or not to do the show or not right up until the day of the show. It is hard to keep motivated, but having w8 and dp made a huge difference. Have faith in yourself and team dpw8 will bring you there, i garantee it. They are the best. It paid off believing in them, cause i won my show, and came in much better than my last comp.


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## danilee (Jul 18, 2002)

Hello Everyone, going to post training and diet today, although you can rest assured not much has changed in either department..No cheating, meals all clean, no extras...caloires only vary by about 200 each day, also trying to keep the carb up day within the same cal range as a normal day...Missed legs on sunday, just plain not enough sleep....
Training today
Hammies and shoulders

SLDL
15x 45lb
15x 65lb
10x 110lb
6  x 135lb

Leg curl
15x80lbs
5 x100lbs  this was the leg machine that I don't really like, the seated leg curl....

Shoulders
Overhead dumbell press
15x50lbs
7  x70lbs  

lat raise
12 x 15 pound dumbells
12 x 15 pound dbs

rear lat raise
15 x 12lb dbs
10 x 15lb dbs

Diet
meal 1
3 oz cooked 93%lean ground beef
1 yolk 6 whites
1 tsp olive oil spread

meal 2
2 scoop whey
1 tbs ess women flax


meal 3
6 oz tuna
1 tbs mayo
large salad

meal 4 and 5 same as 3 increase 1 meal at 1.5 tbs mayo.

meal 6
2 scoop whey
3 tbs heavy cream but 6 grams of fat per 2 tbs...I can only seem to find the stuff with 5 grams per tbs at certain store and certain times...I can stick with this brand as it is available at all store here in hawaii.  also 6 BIG strawberries in this shake

Cals  2100  fat 101 carbs 38  Pro 254

Ok about the competition... and the competing.  It is in imo pretty extreme no matter how you look at it.  As w8 describe your mind gets so iffy and confused, you have to screw with you own head to get that cardio done.  It is impossible (or near it) to live any sort of normal life while training and dieting for a show...I also feel selfish, and that I am not giving enough...It can be something as little as going to the mall...Screw up your diet for that day, ya get stuck in traffic ect ect./.. These little things can stress you out, and make others around edgy although supportive, they just can't understand.  That is why this time around my SO is going to do this right along with me...That means that he will acutally CRAVE a certain food, and not be able to have it...He might feel weak but STILL do the cardio..He might feel like just eating stuff without weighing it, but he will...Then he HAS TO get his sleep in, or it all suffers...Now this time he plans on doing that(although, here it is, I have not even told him about this show)  I plan to prepare for it without him even knowing until the last 6 weeks or so...I plan on doing the dieting and training for about 6 weeks and see where it all is before I even mention doing this show...Although I have already hired Dp and W8, he does not know...Reason being, I think if I just claim early nights, no nights out on the town(ok not many) a LIFESTYLE as opposed to just a "contest prep" time, than I won't feel so selfish...Am I horrible???  Believe me, he has trained with me through other prep, but he has never eaten with me through one...He calls me champ daily, and is a huge motivator...But when there is no contest prep, my ass gets big, I want this to be a lifestyle...I want it ALL to be a priority until I DEEM that it no longer is going to be...Sure, no need to contest diet, but lets be honest here. I like seeing my abs, and if I am going to train daily, I am going to have lifestyle that supports my training..>This was my plan all along....BOYS....hmmmm.  
He really wants to see me do a show, it is very important to him..We shall see....
I am wondering about the suits I should wear if indeed I diet for this...I wonder if I should spend the 800 bucks for the 2 suits from CJ, or if there is something less costly but still almost as nice. As I said before Robert Kennedy and Rob sims from Oxygen mag will be in the audiance, and actually the show is called "get discovered" every winner ends up in the mags, and being promoted...Even the girls that don't place if you have a certain look, you are in...W8 does oxygen promote any shows out there like that in canada?  That would be the perfect venue for you!!!

Also w8, your hubby seems like a very supportive man, and although you guys have one crazy realationship on these boards, you can tell what is at the heart of your marrige, you have a good thing going... 

Ok enough rambling
danilee


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## nikegurl (Jul 18, 2002)

Hey Lady - How goes it?  Of course you'll want to check with DPw8 but I don't think you want to keep your carb up day calories the same as the non carb up days.  The calorie boost is part of what keeps your metabolism humming.

When I first did the deplete and twice weekly carb up I would freak to see what the carb up meal did to the daily calories....but I've finally come to have total faith - damn it works!

I've been reading your journal and your compete/don't compete dilemna.  Maybe you should try to put the decision aside for right now and just stick with the eating plan like you have been, train hard and then re-evaluate in a few weeks.  It can be a lot of pressure to feel like you must decide.  If you relax about the decision and stick with your plan - maybe the answer will come to you.  

You're doing great whatever you decide!


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## naturaltan (Jul 18, 2002)

having your SO go along with you for the ride will make it much easier at home.  When we were eating for two different reasons, it was hard for my wife to watch me eat pizza while she was snacking on rice cakes.  Eating healthy together allows the both of us to take the training to another level together.  

At this point, my wife has no thoughts about competing, although I think she could really kick a$$ if she when full bore!  So right now, we're jsut making a choice to be active at the gym and eat properly.  So far, so good. 

Danilee, I wish you all the best in your new co-spousal endevour.  he he ... look forward to hearing from you soon.


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## Stacey (Jul 18, 2002)

Hey Danilee.. did you get married yet???


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## J'Bo (Jul 18, 2002)

Danilee,

Where did you get those numbers? $800 for 2 suits? That is crazy. Is this normal where you live? The suit i am wearing in my pics is custom made and was done for $100. Kary Odiatu gets all her suits done by the same woman and she is awesome. I have never heard of a $400 suit. Is it made of gold? It would be cheaper to fly down here to come for a final fitting from my seamstress, then it would be to get a suit from CJ? Any competitors in your area? Cause i know alot of girls sell there old suits, and you can just get them altered.


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## Leslie (Jul 18, 2002)

WHoa- thank god- I though my possible show was OUT, because I would NEVER spend $800 on a suit!

Thanks Jbo!
Danilee- it is time to bargain shop!


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## J'Bo (Jul 18, 2002)

A friend of mine bought a bra and panties from supervalue for $10 and put rhinestones on it and got it taken in. She won first place and was on every website that covered the show. Now thats bargain hunting. $800 is unrealistic and not nessesary.


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## danilee (Jul 18, 2002)

Les and Jbo, Cjs suites, as per her pics on the old website..She has a new one but I can't find a link to it state the prices of a few and 2 pc suits are about 200 bucks, and 1pc about 300bucks..Ok so that is 5, but you have to pay for some heavy duty secured shipping(I think I remember that, not sure)  Merry Christine makes the most beautiful suits I have seen..her website is her name, and from what I can remember(emailing and talking with her) the suits are about 100 or more dollars than cj...Now, these are some NICE SUITS...One of a KIND...But I know I won't have to spend the cash if I don't want to, but I would know no other place to go...I have heard of some sites, and stores...I think it comes down to not wanting the same suit as someone else on the stage.  More than likely if you don't get yours made, you will end up with that problem(here in Hawaii)...But if it saves you that kind of money, and since I have to order like 6 months in advance...I guess it is out..I did want the option of having those silcone gel filled tops...CJ has these, basicly like a water balloon you choose the size, and she makes pockets to fit it...Don't know if I can buy that off the rack...

Nikegirl, Thank you for your input, much appreicated  Without all the pressure of my SO and his WHOLE FAMILY and ALL HIS FRIENDS knowing I am competing, it will be alot eaiser to just go with the flow...I have a feeling that w8s and dps prep is one that is going to be livable, at least for the first month or 2...I get goofy in the head when considering contest prep   Does anxiety mess with insulin???  Causes sugar cravings for me 

Have not eaten or trained yet, day just go started update later tonight...

danilee


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## Dr. Pain (Jul 18, 2002)

The truth is, shoes and suits can be quite an investment!   In NPC Physique...it takes two suits and matching shoes! Some invest upwards towards $600..some less! 

DP


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## Leslie (Jul 18, 2002)

I guess we had better start saving now!


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