# Rebirth



## Shae2K3 (Nov 7, 2008)

My friends, this journal is going to be different than everyone's here. Its about my road to recovery. September 28, I was sent to a mental hospital for 5 days. Reason was my then boyfriend of 1 and a half years (and first sexual partner) dumped me saying that he could not handle my depression. And he dumped me for a woman thats a complete opposite to his standards. I learned about myself a lot and I am more than willing to share it with all of you. The first few posts are going to be my history with depression and what led up to the night I got sent to the hospital. And then my journey of physical and mental exercises that are bettering me every day. I hope this thread will teach you a lesson in some way, shape, or form. And much love to everyone who reads this journal.


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## chiquita6683 (Nov 7, 2008)

I wish you luck! I'll be reading


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## urbanski (Nov 8, 2008)

best of luck. subscribed.


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## Shae2K3 (Nov 8, 2008)

*History*

I've had deoression for about 6 years or so. It was all because of fights with my parents, They were a lot focussed on my sister who is in a wheel chair and I ended up being the one to do the house chores. I do my best and they just mentaly abused me. Through out time, I have thought suicide 200 times and attempted 25 times. 

*My relationship with my ex*
I met my then boyfriend Eric in January 2007 at my previous job, HMS Host. I was the one who trained him and made him better at what he did. We got together in April 2007 and we were in love ever since. He had prommised me that he would be there for me through all the bad times. He even said that he wanted to marry me. 

*September 28th, 2008*

My ex, Eric said that he was going to be with me through all the bad times. That was a load of crap. He dumped me saying that he did not want to handle my depression anymore. I went into a nervous break down and got sent to the mental hospital for 5 days. In those 5 days, Eric rebounded with a woman that was completely oppisite of his standards for a woman. I even suspected he was sleeping around the last month we were together. Eric didn't want any kids and the woman has a 2 year old from a previous relationship. And this woman is probly 100 pounds heavier than I am. And he said he wanted a woman with curves in the places that count. I mean this chick is big! I sent him an e-mail  to Eric a day after I got home  saying how I wasn't the only one who hurt the relationship and how bad he hurt me. And he sends his new squeezes mother chewing me a new asshole. 

A week ago, I came to my senses and written Eric a 5 page letter calmingly said that I'm sorry that I hurt him. Then I have repeated that he also did wrong. He sends his new girl friend after me and she chewed me a new ass hole. I call him and tell him that no one is going to stop me from expressing how I feel. Then he chews me a new asshole saying that he is going to place a restraining order on me if I contact him again. 

I just hope karma bites him in the ass for what he did.


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## b_reed23 (Nov 10, 2008)

I'm following along Shae


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## Merkaba (Nov 10, 2008)

Best of luck.  I would look into astral projection.  It will either make you realize you are more than what you imagine, or scare you to death to the point you'll move on!  lol...just kidding.  Read up on it though!


Usually if you're pointing a finger of any blame, even if justified, it doesnt work.  I've been there so many times.  Both sides are gonna view their situation as a victim.  If you're victimized, whether you know it or not, it is in its nature a position that breads fear and may result in anger towards the other individual....obviously.  Just my two cents.  I hope you don't mind.  Continue...Its always good to talk about it.  You have lots of courage.  Do you take out your frustrations in the gym any?


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## Shae2K3 (Nov 11, 2008)

I actualy don't have any money at the moment living with my folks now. I am paying off my hospital bill wich is all of 500 bucks. I'm trying to do make shift gym wich is tough. Any suggestions?

So far what I have been doing is building up my jogging distance. I have a bus stop that I run to along the way to work. And there is like 6 or 7 after that that are like a quarter mile away from each other before you have to take the shuttle to my work. I'm gonna add on another half mile today. Its just gonna be a little at a time for me.

As far as the eating my family keeps saying that they are going to change their ways. But they kinda go to hell afterwords because my younger sister who is 14 doesn't like to eat fruits and veggies and it temts them. It tempts me too to be honest. Thats why I'm trying to gain enough monwy to move away from that type of non active enviroment.


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## Merkaba (Nov 11, 2008)

?? There's no money involved in any of my suggestions.  

But If money is an issue then do the best you can.


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## Shae2K3 (Nov 12, 2008)

I was looking back to my old journals in here and the type of work out I did. I was like, "Wow, it did that much for me? Why did I stop?" It was yoga. I was looking at the way that I can make it mind over matter for me. I mean, some poses that I saw that I did, I was holding parts of my weight. If not even all. I will deffinately share whatever information I retain back from my days at yoga class. This is deffinately something I can get back in to. I mean, I have the mat and strap for it. Yet, its cost efficient. And I seemed to have more energy after each work out. Stay tuned for what I learned. 

http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/online-journals/57439-keeping-peace.html

This is my old journal up there. ^


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## Shae2K3 (Nov 12, 2008)

*The origins of yoga are shrouded in the mists of time. The ancient wisdom known as "the supreme science of life" is believed to have been revealed to the great sages of India several thousand years ago. 

Yoga is an ancient system of physical and mental practices that originated during the Indus Valley civilization in South Asia. The fundamental purpose of yoga is to foster harmony in the body, mind, and environment. 

Yoga is a complete system of physical, mental, social, and spiritual development. For generations, this philosophy was passed on from the master teacher to the student. The first written records of the practice of yoga appeared around 200 BC in Yogasutra of Patanjali. The system consisted of the eightfold path or Asthangayoga.

In the West, several schools of yoga are popular and use some or all limbs of Asthangayoga described by Patanjali. The 8 limbs are as follows:

Yama - Rules for successful living in society


Niyama - Techniques for managing and purifying self


Asaana - Posture techniques for physical and mental balance (what most people think of as yoga)


Pranayama - Breathing techniques for physical and mental balance


Pratihara - Techniques for detaching the mind from the senses for mental balance and calm


Dharana - Concentration techniques for mental balance and calm


Dhyana - Meditation techniques for mental balance and calm


Samadhi - Ultimate advanced meditation techniques and psychic procedures attained after regular practice for universal consciousness

The process involves the arousal of the Kundalini Shakti, or serpent power, believed to be located at the base of the human spine. As one practices the various techniques, this power/latent energy rises through a series of centers or Chakras corresponding to various endocrine glands. When this power reaches the highest center, which is associated with the hypothalamus gland regulating the hormonal secretion of the endocrine system, control over the hypothalamus results. In this way, secretion of hormones from various endocrine glands can be regulated. This mechanism may explain the importance of yoga as a stress management technique.

Yoga bennifits
Benefits of Yoga
The benefits of various yoga techniques have been professed to improve body flexibility, performance, stress reduction, attainment of inner peace, and self-realization. The system has been advocated as complementary treatment to aid healing of several ailments such as coronary heart disease, depression, anxiety disorders, asthma, and extensive rehabilitation for disorders including musculoskeletal problems and traumatic brain injury. The system has also been suggested as a behavioral therapy for smoking cessation and substance abuse (including alcohol abuse). 

If you practice yoga, you may receive these benefits:

Physical


-Improved body flexibility and balance


-Improved cardiovascular endurance (stronger heart)


-Improved digestion


-Improved abdominal strength


-Enhanced overall muscular strength


-Relaxation of muscular strains


-Weight control


-Increased energy levels


-Enhanced immune system 

Mental


-Relief of stress resulting from the control of emotions


-Prevention and relief from stress-related disorders


-Intellectual enhancement, leading to improved decision-making skills

-Spiritual


-Life with meaning, purpose, and direction


-Inner peace and tranquility


-Contentment

A word of caution about the incorrect practice of yoga is necessary at this point. With the many benefits may come injury for new practitioners of yoga or those doing it without proper instruction. Over 18 million Americans are reported to be practicing some form of yoga, and health care providers are seeing injuries such as muscle and ligament sprains, neck and back pain, and cartilage tears. 
According to the International Health, Racquet and Sportsclub Association, about 86% of health clubs offer yoga.

A teacher-organized group called the Yoga Alliance recommends at least 200 hours of expert training, and nearly 5,000 instructors nationwide reportedly have satisfied that standard. But since there is no licensing or official certification required, untold numbers of teachers may have done little more than complete a weekend training program or correspondence course. Before taking a yoga class, ask about the credentials and training of the instructor. You may wish to sit in on a class and observe before committing yourself to a set program.

*

Source: emedicinehealth.com


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## Shae2K3 (Nov 12, 2008)

Going on common sense but its a non compeditive exercise and its ment to be that way. I reccon I do remember some poses. I'm gonna try and get them down packed before I go to bed tonight.


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## b_reed23 (Nov 12, 2008)

I've got a site for you Shae, to help you build some muscle without the gym! I have 3 women that I help with activities/nutrition and none of them can afford the gym right now...so here it is! Check it out and tell me what ya think!

Exercise Log

I set them up with one exersize per body part, 3 times a week. They do just one set for each exersize, but do it very slow (HIT style) they must count to 3-5 in the negative movement. I am by no means an expert, but all my girls love the workout cause it doesn't take very long, and they are VERY sore the next day


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## Shae2K3 (Nov 12, 2008)

Now that you brought it up Billie, I did also see a article every month in WWE magazine on excercizes that you don't need money or machines for. I'm gona look them both tonight.


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## Shae2K3 (Nov 14, 2008)

Before I get to my first day, I wanna show you how I decided to make use of the yoga I have learned in the past, and some of these exercises on that link that Billie gave me. It all is gona start with a guided meditation that I am listening to on a cd for 5 minitues than whatever my body feels I can focus at I will target those parts. I learned from a yoga teacher that a good guided meditation can help you reach peak performance afterword. So by all means...

*November 14, 2008*

Guided meditation: 5 minitues
body feeling: cardio work & legs and back

Jumping jacks: 150
jog: 1 mile (1/2 mile to and from the house)

cat cow pose





This starts out with you positionaing in all fours with a straight back. As you breathe deep, round your back (see photo). When you exhale, straighten your back. Yoga teachers recomend to keep repeating this for 7 breaths. But I did it for *10*. 

upward dog




This requires you to line up with your belly on the ground. Stretch your legs out  and spread your arms under your shoulders and hug your elbows into your belly. On the inhale, straighten your arms and lift your chest up. Then on exhale, bring down your chest and get your arms back in place. I normally hold the pose as is because I had my time of messing up my back when I was a pipsqueek but it feels good in both legs and back. 
Helled the pose for *7 breaths*.

I didn't want to over do this pose or any pose for my legs because I am starting  up in the routine again:

High lunge




This pose can be varied depending how flexible your legs are. But this is originally how its done. I did the variation version of this with my knee several inches off the floor. Did this for *4 breaths for each leg*.


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