# MonStar's Final Journal



## M.J.H. (Aug 14, 2004)

*This is going to be my final journal here at IM. Moderators please delete any new journal that I start from this point on. Do not let me start another journal, no matter what.* 

I have decided to start a final journal, because I took the time to back through all of my ridiculous journals here at IM. And it's honestly pathetic, to say the least. There is absolutely no reason at all for so many journals. I mean honestly, it is a case of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). Every single time that I start a journal, I binge the night or day or two before, and just start all over again from scratch. 

With this journal, I am not going to do it anymore. I don't want to be ALLOWED to start another journal, and just start again. I am going to post exactly what I eat everyday, even if I do binge, etc. Because I need to realize my mistakes, learn from them, and not justify it it in my head by starting all over again the next day. 

I have a problem with binging, as you all know. I am currently trying to stop binging. Which I have done a pretty decent job at. Starting this journal today I did not binge last night. So that's certainly a good thing. I cheated last night on my diet by eating some dessert and ice-cream, etc. But I did not binge. So I think that's a step in the right direction. 

My training is going to be VERY straight forward. Basically back/biceps/legs and then chest/shoulders/triceps, followed by a rest day. Keeping it very simple. Nothing too complex. Volume is going to be kept moderate for the most part. I am not going to f*ck around. Binge, start new journals, etc. There is no reason for it. It is about time I grow up and stick to one journal, and stop acting so godd*mn immature.


----------



## fantasma62 (Aug 14, 2004)

Hey Monstar...


Buddy, I have to tell you.  If you had a binging problem, you'd look like me (see gallery photo).  You did take a step in the right direction by cheating.  In this case cheating is good.  It will help you not binge.  You can get that "bad food" out of your system...
Congratulations on your motivation.  You can do it...Hell, you will do it


----------



## atherjen (Aug 14, 2004)

> It is about time I grow up and stick to one journal, and stop acting so godd*mn immature.



 you said it not me  JK 


NO MORE journals.. .ILL BAN YOU if you do!   

you can overcome this... as I said before, its in you. no more silly crazy diets. no more jumping from one thing to another. Jen means it!  or else!


----------



## fantasma62 (Aug 14, 2004)

atherjen said:
			
		

> you said it not me  JK
> 
> 
> NO MORE journals.. .ILL BAN YOU if you do!
> ...


You better do what she says.....or else


----------



## gwcaton (Aug 14, 2004)

atherjen said:
			
		

> you said it not me  JK
> 
> 
> NO MORE journals.. .ILL BAN YOU if you do!
> ...


Mike , 
if this isn't motovation I don't know what is ! 

Good luck man! I hate to see someone so young with so much potential struggle as you do.  Just do it !


----------



## M.J.H. (Aug 14, 2004)

*fantasma62:* Honestly man, I have a serious binging problem, that's the thing. Maybe I am lucky enough to have a pretty decent metabolism, and God knows that I love working out hard. But that doesn't mean that I don't have a problem not binging. I would not waste my time starting a new journal every other week otherwise. Trust me, I hate it. This time though no matter what I am going to keep this journal. I don't care if I binge out of control for a week straight. I am not starting a new journal. I am f*cking serious this time. 

*Jen:* Hey there, thanks for stopping by. And yes, I agree completely. No more f*cking around. No more stupid a*s journals, no more crap. It's so immature and just pointless, honestly. Thanks for stopping by. Do NOT let me start another journal no matter what. 

*gwcaton:* Hey man, that's absolutely accurate. I think that I have a lot of potential, no question about it. I just need to put that potential to use and stop f*cking around. I mean starting a new journal, diet, training program every time I turn around. Not getting me any where fast. Thanks for the post.


----------



## M.J.H. (Aug 14, 2004)

8-14-2004​
*SLDL:*
405 x 5 (2)
495 x 2 (2)
*405 x 12!*

*Support Rows:* 
210 x 6 (3) 
165 x 12

*DB Lunges:*
60's x 8
80's x 6 (3)

*Nautilus Pullovers:* 
220 x 12 (2)
Stack x 6 

*Concentration Curls:*
40's x 12 (2) 

Good workout today. Started off with some SLDL. I am definitely loving these more and more every time I do them. Really beat up my hamstrings like crazy today doing them. Started off with 2 sets of 5 with 405. Not bad, then 2 doubles with 495. Hit a HUGE PR with 405, for 12. Really really pleased with my set there. The downside was that it wiped me out! My lats, lower back, hamstrings, everything was just drained. 

Moved onto some light support rows, nothing too exciting. I could barely feel this exercise in my lats for some reason. My back was just shot. Moved onto DB lunges, not too bad at all. Hit my quads and all that pretty hard. After the lunges I hit up some pullovers, really liked them a lot. Lats were pumped as hell. Finished up with some Arnold style concentration curls, leaning on a bench. 

Diet: 
- chicken quesadillas, filet mignon + garden salad + vinegarette dressing 
- Gatorade + V-12 during workout 
- whey protein postworkout 
- whole-wheat tuna + cheese sandwich, apple
- MRP + 1% milk
- low-carb peanut butter sandwich
- cottage cheese + peaches 

Great to be off low-carb. Even though it's an easy diet to stick to, I need something more permanent, honestly. So far I am feeling good. Need to stick it out and not even let binging cross my mind at all. 

Sleep: 7 hours. 

Weight: 227 lbs. 

Today is day 23 of M1T, still at 15mg per day. Doing 10-12 sprays of 4-Derm today as well.


----------



## fantasma62 (Aug 14, 2004)

MonStar said:
			
		

> *fantasma62:* Honestly man, I have a serious binging problem, that's the thing. Maybe I am lucky enough to have a pretty decent metabolism, and God knows that I love working out hard. But that doesn't mean that I don't have a problem not binging. I would not waste my time starting a new journal every other week otherwise. Trust me, I hate it. This time though no matter what I am going to keep this journal. I don't care if I binge out of control for a week straight. I am not starting a new journal. I am f*cking serious this time.
> 
> *Jen:* Hey there, thanks for stopping by. And yes, I agree completely. No more f*cking around. No more stupid a*s journals, no more crap. It's so immature and just pointless, honestly. Thanks for stopping by. Do NOT let me start another journal no matter what.
> 
> *gwcaton:* Hey man, that's absolutely accurate. I think that I have a lot of potential, no question about it. I just need to put that potential to use and stop f*cking around. I mean starting a new journal, diet, training program every time I turn around. Not getting me any where fast. Thanks for the post.


You show a lot of promise.  You have a great attitude about your problem and YOU WILL OVERCOME IT!!!!!


----------



## JerseyDevil (Aug 14, 2004)

Mike, you can do it man!  If you took 1/10th of the motivation you have for lifting, and applied it towards your diet, you will be fine.

You look fantastic. You just need to stick to a regular diet plan, with 1 (or 2) cheat days a week.  It's that simple  .


----------



## M.J.H. (Aug 15, 2004)

*fantasma62:* Hey man, thanks, I really appreciate it a lot. I most definitely hope that I overcome it. 

*JerseyDevil:* Yeah man, that's what everyone tells me in the gym. They automatically assume because I am so consistent and determined about my workouts and all that that I would be the same way about my diet. Kind of pisses me off that it's not the case. Whatever. Yeah I am going to throw in some cheat food here and there.


----------



## M.J.H. (Aug 15, 2004)

8-15-2004​
*Incline BB Presses:* 
225 x 10 (2)
255 x 4 (2) 
*205 x 15!* 

*Flat DB Presses:* 
120's x 6 (3) 

*DB Lateral Raises:* 
40's x 12 (2) 

*Incline Skullcrushers:* 
125 x 10 (2) 
155 x 3 (2) 

*Cable Pressdowns:* 
*Stack x 17!*
Stack x 11

Great workout today! Really really pleased with my workout today honestly. No complaints at all here today. Started off with inclines, basically just because I am extremely weak on incline BB presses. And it's an exercise that I really want to strengthen in the next few months. I hate how weak I am in this exercise, it drives me f*ckin' nuts. Hit 205 for 15 though, great set there. Really good focus and intensity. 

Moved onto some flat DB presses, not too bad. My triceps were already wiped out from the inclines, so I couldn't go too too crazy on the flat DB presses. Afterwards I hit up some DB laterals, and then some incline skulls. I really really like incline skullcrushers. They definitely hit my triceps from a new angle, that's for sure. Finished up with some pressdowns. Hit the stack for 17! That's definitely a big PR. 

Diet: 
- MRP + 1% milk, low-carb toast 
- Gatorade + V-12 during workout 
- whey protein postworkout 
- Trioplex bar
- garden salad + grilled chicken + vinegarette dressing 
- grilled chicken + pasta 
- turkey & cheese melt, 1/2 turkey club sandwich

Ate a lot today! LOL, I went from one restaurant to the next for whatever reason. I am not sure why. 

Sleep: 9 hours. 

Today is day 24 of M1T, still at 15mg per day. Doing 10-12 sprays of 4-Derm today as well.


----------



## Big-Ron (Aug 15, 2004)

Good luck Mike, i think its clear that you have everyones support including mine  I think you have to take a realistic approach to your problems. Things like this won't dissapear overnight or by starting a new journal etc.. it takes time to re-adjust behaviour patterns. My only advice is to take it a day at a time, try and relax a little, your overall health is more important to you in the long-term, thats both physical and mental. 

You can do it Mike i have faith

take care bro

Andyx


----------



## PreMier (Aug 15, 2004)

This reminds me of the scene in The Waterboy, where the redneck is saying "You can do it!"


----------



## M.J.H. (Aug 16, 2004)

*Big-Ron:* Yeah man, I agree, I can't change these things overnight. As much as I would like to just wake up tomorrow and never binge again, I know that it's going to be a gradual process. So we'll see what happens. Thanks so much for the support though man, I appreciate it. 

*PreMier:* LOL, let's hope that I can do it.


----------



## M.J.H. (Aug 16, 2004)

8-16-2004​
Took a rest day today. I am sore all over the damn place! I am not sure why, but I am really aching all over. My chest and shoulders and all that are killing me. I guess I beat myself up more yesterday than I thought I did. Triceps are aching as well. 

Diet: 
- MRP + 1% milk + banana
- whole-wheat turkey & cheese sandwich
- Metrx bar
- 2 baked chicken breasts, rice 
- ? 

Sleep: 6 hours. Also took a 45-minute nap.  

Today is day 25 of M1T, still at 15mg per day. Doing 10-12 sprays of 4-Derm today as well. 

Damn, that friggin' Nolva better be in soon! It's been 2 weeks.


----------



## Monolith (Aug 16, 2004)

Mine took a while, too.  How much did you order?

 And worst case scenario you can just order some liquid nolva off a research supplier.


----------



## Mudge (Aug 16, 2004)

IBELabs, fast guys.

Good luck on the diet man, I know all about binging!!!


----------



## PreMier (Aug 17, 2004)

You lift today Mike?


----------



## klmclean (Sep 19, 2004)

*Keep up the good work while I'm on my vacation *


----------



## Monolith (Sep 19, 2004)

rofl


----------



## PreMier (Sep 20, 2004)




----------



## Jenny (Sep 20, 2004)

Miiiiiike  We talked about this, do NOT cope with your binges in this way!!  Sit down and try to figure out why it happened and move on, but STAY in the same journal damnit 

Okay, I'll still support ya!


----------



## aggies1ut (Sep 20, 2004)

LOL, he still has his journal. This thread was bumped yesterday by Mono. Notice, Mike has not make any posts.


----------



## aggies1ut (Sep 20, 2004)

Oh sorry, it was bumped by kimclean.


----------



## Jenny (Sep 20, 2004)

Oooh, thanks for clearing that up aggie


----------

