# MonStar's Journal



## M.J.H. (Dec 5, 2004)

KEEPING THIS ONE!!  

I know I have created probably over a billion journals here at IM, and I really can't stand that fact. But honestly---I am realizing now that that pattern is obviously getting me absolutely nowhere. Anymore I feel like I have gotten *completely* out of shape. I feel flabbier and softer than I ever have in my life, and I feel like I need to completely turn everything around.  

I need to just stick it out with one journal, and just keep my diet clean for the most part and stop f*cking around with this immature, OCD bullsh*t. I am the only one who puts the food in my mouth. So I am the one that is going to have to stay in control, no matter what it takes. 

Please, please, please keep comments positive. That's all.


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## Cold Iron (Dec 5, 2004)

GL Mike !!

This one has promise..


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## M.J.H. (Dec 5, 2004)

*Arnie's left nu:* Thanks bud, I hope so!


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## M.J.H. (Dec 5, 2004)

Sunday; 12-5-2004


Training:

*T-Bar Rows*
2 sets of 9 with 270
3 sets of 3 with 360

*Nautilus Pullovers*
5 sets of 5 with 280

*BTN Cable Pulldowns*
3 sets of 10 with 180 

*Bentover DB Lateral Raises*
2 sets of 12 with the 35's

Pretty good workout today I think, I honestly really think that I have to get back into shape! As much as I hate to say that, it's how I feel at this point. After my first exercise I am out of breath almost and ready to leave the gym. I just have been binging so much lately, and haven't been hitting the gym hard at all.  

BTW, today at the gym I weighed 233 lbs. I am aiming for around 220ish.


Diet: 

*Meal 1:* 1% cottage cheese + mixed fruit 
*Meal 2:* 2 chicken breasts, cheese tortelini 
*Meal 3:* 1/2 turkey & cheese sandwich
*Meal 4:* 1/2 turkey & cheese sandwich
*Preworkout:* 1 scoop of Swole
*Postworkout:* whey protein + 1% milk
*Meal 6:* tuna salad sandwich, mixed fruit
*Meal 7:* garden salad + vinegarette dressing, chicken salad melt
*Meal 8:* peanut butter


Sleep: 7 hours.


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## soxmuscle (Dec 5, 2004)

Use the negative posts as motivation.  With that being said:

Personally, I don't think anythings changed from your journals in which you started binging to now.  Nothing.  You'll continue to binge, you'll continue to create new journals, and you'll continue to fail.

No one believes you can do it.

/end of act.

Now use that shit as motivation, man.


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## Rocco32 (Dec 5, 2004)

Mike, good luck man. I was reading articles in T-Nation and this part of an article made me think of you- 



> Lesson #8: Have 10% Foods
> 
> It???s unfortunate that most trainees expect perfection from themselves. Perhaps it???s because in athletics we???re told stories of certain individuals giving 110%. As the great coach John Wooden says, "You can only give what you have and you only have 100%. No one is an overachiever. We???re all underachievers to a different extent. I prefer to judge individuals on how close they come to 100%, knowing that no one can ever achieve perfection???"
> 
> ...



Hope that helps you some.


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## sara (Dec 5, 2004)

I believe in you Mike! I know you can keep this journal  
Look at me, binging, changing diets everyday  but Im still keeping the same journal till the end of this year and 2005 comes hopefuly I will be following 1 solid plan with a new journal
Just keep up the good work and enjoy bodybuilding


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## sara (Dec 5, 2004)

Ok.. this post is to everyone (including me) Especially ME!!!! I think some of us here not enjoying bodybuilding.. we having binging problems that is affecting our everyday life.. we need to enjoy bodybuilding.. remember this is our hobby.. its not a punishment
its also a challange, but we gotta enjoy this challange


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## CowPimp (Dec 5, 2004)

Just remember one thing:

There is no reason to binge.

Every time you debate in your head whether or not to binge, as I suspect you do, consistently tell yourself there is no reason to do so.  Smack yourself if you feel it's necessary.


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## soxmuscle (Dec 5, 2004)

sara said:
			
		

> Ok.. this post is to everyone (including me) Especially ME!!!! I think some of us here not enjoying bodybuilding.. we having binging problems that is affecting our everyday life.. we need to enjoy bodybuilding.. remember this is our hobby.. its not a punishment
> its also a challange, but we gotta enjoy this challange


maybe the reason why you and Monstar are having such trouble with binging is because your thinking of bodybuilding as just a "hobby."  I view it as a lifestyle, and work my entire day around hitting the gym, around eating at specific times, etc.


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## soxmuscle (Dec 5, 2004)

CowPimp said:
			
		

> Just remember one thing:
> 
> There is no reason to binge.
> 
> Every time you debate in your head whether or not to binge, as I suspect you do, consistently tell yourself there is no reason to do so. Smack yourself if you feel it's necessary.


Great idea.  I go to McDonalds with my freinds from time to time, and I sit there watching them stuff there faces with big macs and cheeseburgers, and fries, and crap like that.. is it tempting? sure, but all I tell myself is that its not worth it, and its not really that good.. or if I get close to eating one I'll smack myself as CP said.

It's definitly something that can be overcome, oh wait.. you can never overcome it, ever!!


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## sara (Dec 5, 2004)

soxmuscle said:
			
		

> It's definitly something that can be overcome, oh wait.. *you can never overcome it, ever!! *



What you mean by that?


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## sara (Dec 5, 2004)

soxmuscle- I am seeing the gym as a hobby that it needs to be accomplished almost everyday! but my eating plan was a lifestyle to me.. no, sorry.. It still is a lifestyle for me, because tomorrow is a new day and I miss my lifestyle

I dont want to mess Mike's journal 
sorry mike


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## soxmuscle (Dec 5, 2004)

In my original post, I suggested using the negative comments as motivation.


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## soxmuscle (Dec 5, 2004)

sara said:
			
		

> soxmuscle- I am seeing the gym as a hobby that it needs to be accomplished almost everyday! but my eating plan was a lifestyle to me.. no, sorry.. It still is a lifestyle for me, because tomorrow is a new day and I miss my lifestyle
> 
> I dont want to mess Mike's journal
> sorry mike


Awesome, I understand.


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## sara (Dec 5, 2004)

I see


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## Jodi (Dec 5, 2004)

soxmuscle said:
			
		

> maybe the reason why you and Monstar are having such trouble with binging is because your thinking of bodybuilding as just a "hobby."  I view it as a lifestyle, and work my entire day around hitting the gym, around eating at specific times, etc.


Precisely!    Enjoying food in moderation and learning that Bodybuilding and your healthy diet is a lifestyle.  The gym should be just as important as your eating habits and when you learn that you will be able to control your lifestyle.  I make sure that I eat some of those yummy things every now and then but right after that it's back to my regular lifestyle of healthy food and BB.


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## sportytahoe (Dec 5, 2004)

MonStar said:
			
		

> I need to just stick it out with one journal, and just keep my diet clean for the most part and stop f*cking around with this immature, OCD bullsh*t. I am the only one who puts the food in my mouth. So I am the one that is going to have to stay in control, no matter what it takes.




i feel your pain...nothing tastes as good as looking good feels--keep up the good work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## I'm Trying (Dec 5, 2004)

I'm keeping you to this one Mike


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## CowPimp (Dec 5, 2004)

Oh yeah, and Mike, please keep this journal and post any binges.  I believe we can help you overcome the binging if you tell us about it.


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## Mudge (Dec 5, 2004)

CowPimp said:
			
		

> Oh yeah, and Mike, please keep this journal and post any binges.  I believe we can help you overcome the binging if you tell us about it.



I stick to things better if I am held accountable 

Good luck Mike


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## M.J.H. (Dec 6, 2004)

*soxmuscle:* Hey man, maybe I will try and use negative motivation this time around, whatever works! At this point I am just completely frustrated with how things I have gotten. I usually don't let them slip this much. I am at the point now where I am flabbier than ever before, I feel like I am more out of shape than ever before, etc. I have been binging almost on a daily basis, it's just gotten out of control. But I am not going to sit here and feel f*cking sorry for myself, that's ridiculous. I need to wake up and do something about it, period. 

*rock:* That's the truth bud, thanks for that quote. Because that's how I should see it. As long as the majority of my diet is clean there's nothing wrong with slipping up here and there. 

*sara:* Hey sara, thanks for stopping by, appreciate the support and kind words. I do need to start thinking of this as a lifestyle. Because when I think of it as a hobby I tell myself for whatever reason that when I am not keeping a journal---the calories I am eating don't count. I know it sounds stupid but if I am not logging what I am eating into a journal then it doesn't really happen. It sounds so stupid but I go into this retarded mindset when I start binging all the time. I have no idea why. I guess just an OCD mindset. 

*CowPimp:* Great, great point there man. There is absolutely no reason to binge. I mean no matter what I am not going to feel good afterwards. It's a temporary fix in a lot of ways. When I start binging I feel good for a little while, and then as I start to fill up I and feel sick I realize how stupid what I just did, was. I just need to break the habit. I am going to start reading more in my book on BED (Binge Eating Disorder). 

*Jodi:* Good point, I really need to start putting more emphasis on my eating outside of the gym. I don't have a problem going to the gym on a regular basis, but for whatever reason I have trouble sticking to the bodybuilding lifestyle when I am outside the gym. I really need to focus on hitting the gym regularly as well---I can't get over how out of shape I am feeling! After an exercise or two I am ready to quit, I am out of breath!  

*sportytahoe:* Thanks bud, exactly, nothing tastes as good as looking good feels. Perfect quote. 

*I'm Trying:* Thank you for the support. 

*Mudge:* I am going to just post my binges and sh*t in here if they happen, period. I need to get in control of this. I am sick of feeling so pathetic and out of control.


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## M.J.H. (Dec 6, 2004)

Monday; 12-6-2004


Training:

*Decline BB Presses*
2 sets of 8 with 275
3 sets of 3 with 335 

*Flat DB Presses*
4 sets of 5 with the 120's

*Nautilus Pec-Deck Flyes*
2 sets of 12 with 180 
2 sets of 5 with 240


Diet: 

*Preworkout:* 1 scoop of Swole
*Postworkout:* whey protein + 1% milk 
*Meal 2:* turkey & cheese sandwich
*Meal 3:* 4 parmesan breaded chicken breasts
*Meal 4:* 2 baked chicken breasts, rice
*Meal 5:* 2% cottage cheese + peaches
*Meal 6:* 2 low-fat stuffed chicken breasts 
*Meal 7:* peanut butter 

Resisted the urge to binge tonight! I was at the grocery store with my girlfriend and I wanted to binge so damn bad. And just start a new journal tomorrow. But for whatever reason what CowPimp said yesterday popped in my head, "I don't have to binge." 


Sleep: 7 hours.


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## M.J.H. (Dec 7, 2004)

Tuesday; 12-7-2004


Training:

*Skullcrushers*
5 sets of 5 with 105 

*CG Preacher Curls* 
5 sets of 5 with 95

*One-Arm DB French Presses*
4 sets of 8 with the 40's 

*Seated Hammer Curls* 
4 sets of 8 with the 40's


Diet: 

*Meal 1:* MRP + 2% milk
*Meal 2:* tuna salad sandwich, mixed fruit
*Preworkout:* 1 scoop of Swole
*Postworkout:* whey protein + 2% milk 
*Meal 4:* baked chicken, sweet potato
*Meal 5:* egg salad sandwich
*Meal 6:* 2% cottage cheese + pineapple
*Meal 7:* 2 low-fat stuffed chicken breasts


Sleep: 6 hours.


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## Luke9583 (Dec 7, 2004)

Congrats on the not binging MonStar, maybe it's my turn next


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## sara (Dec 7, 2004)

Keep it up!


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## soxmuscle (Dec 7, 2004)

He's had what? Three good workout days?  Give me a break, he'll never get past this binging stage.

/end act

Keep at it, man.


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## I'm Trying (Dec 8, 2004)

Avoid binging!!


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## M.J.H. (Dec 8, 2004)

*Luke:* Thanks for the support man, I have been pretty good the past couple of days at resisting the urge to binge. I am really trying to concentrate on not binging, no matter what it takes. I think that with the right mindset I can overcome this. 

*sara:* Thanks! 

*soxmuscle:* Thanks for stopping by bro, I think that is actually a really good idea. I really like the reaction I have to it, because in my head I am going "f*ck that I can definitely overcome this stupid crap." 

*I'm Trying:* I have so far. So far, so good.


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## M.J.H. (Dec 8, 2004)

Wednesday; 12-8-2004


Training:

*Hack Squats*
5 sets of 5 with 540

*SLDL*
4 sets of 3 with 405

*Nautilus Leg Extensions*
3 sets of 10 with 260

*Seated Calf Raises*
3 sets of 15 with 195


Diet: 

*Preworkout:* 1 scoop of Swole
*Postworkout:* whey protein + 2% milk 
*Meal 2:* turkey & cheese sandwich
*Meal 3:*


Sleep: 6 hours. I really need to start putting some more emphasis on how much sleep I get each night. This is really getting ridiculous.


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## CowPimp (Dec 8, 2004)

6 hours of sleep isn't too shabby.  Don't be so hard on yourself!


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## I'm Trying (Dec 8, 2004)

I'm lucky to get 6 hours a night, I mean day.


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