# should I be offended?



## sendit08 (Apr 22, 2013)

maybe an even better question...
would you be offended?

My wife has decided to pay for a trainer at our gym.
If it were a nutritionist I would encourage it but come on.
I have made enourmous transformations and come a long way.
I feel like its a smack in my face to do this.
especially because I have tried and tried to get her to train and now this trainer is doing it with ease.
and taking our money.

and also, NO its not a male trainer its a chick and for the record she has no certifications except cpr .


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## Eiserner Hahn (Apr 22, 2013)

i would probably be upset


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## HARD AT IT (Apr 22, 2013)

Consider it a blessing bro. I used to train with my ex and that sucked. I get way better w/o by myself or with one of the fellas for sure. Women lift a lot different then we do. I would never do it again, unless she was experienced.


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## dieseljimmy (Apr 22, 2013)

Yeah maybe a little...

but maybe she just doesn't want to go as hard you. or maybe she thinks your a pussy and wants to go harder.

you know I have a three year old and she will whine and complain to my wife all day long.  Me she complains but not as much and too our nanny she's as sweet as fucking pie. She won't complain at all. Because she is not as comfortable with my nanny. Maybe there's a mentality that's similar... Maybe she doesn't want to workout with you because she knows she will feel comfortable complaining. Maybe she knows that she will work harder for a stranger... Just thinking


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## Intense (Apr 22, 2013)

Some guys love lifting with their wives but for me it's more of a headache because I get nothing done with her always complaining about something lol.


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## kristaleigh (Apr 22, 2013)

From a girl's perspective lifting with your man sucks. Especially if he knows what he's doing. The last thing a woman wants is for her man to see her be weak in an area that he's strong in. I'm a trainer and know what I'm doing and I still feel that way. I'll lift at the same time as my man, in the same place, but never actually together. I do my thing, he does his, no fighting, all good. If I need a spot, then yes, I'll grab him, otherwise I'd rather him glance over and see me rocking my workout than be standing over me tearing it apart. Trust me, training your girl is a baaaad idea even if you are an amazing trainer. It will kill your relationship.


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## Getbig2 (Apr 22, 2013)

Intense said:


> Some guys love lifting with their wives but for me it's more of a headache because I get nothing done with her always complaining about something lol.





Lol same here! My girls says she wants me to train her, but im always on the free weights where its surrounded by perverts according to her lmao, shes sexy so I know guys are slobbering lol but its all good im not the jealous type, so I tell her its better that they stare cuz she looks fine, then be staring and saying how ugly you are! But anyways I just tell her to find a gf and workout with them, cuz I go to get swole not to worry about whos looking.


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## heavylifting1 (Apr 22, 2013)

Did you offer to train her yourself?


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## HFO3 (Apr 22, 2013)

I wouldn't be offended at all. Simply ask her why she wants a trainer, I would bet you understand her reason and agree with her once she tells you her reason.   

My wife and I train together and we have a good wo's and a great time. However, we are on very different levels so we don't push it, sometimes we do our own thing, sometimes I train her and do my own thing later, keeping things very open really makes it simple and pressure free. Honestly, does anyone really enjoy WOing out with the SAME PERSON all the time, I know I don't. Too much of a good thing isn't a good thing it's monotonous.


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## dave 236 (Apr 22, 2013)

Hell I want my wife to train...just not in the same gym as me. I'd gladly pay someone ( especially a qualified woman) to help her. I can't talk to her like other trainees or I get cutoff at home. 

Sent from my DROID4 using Tapatalk 2


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## Getbig2 (Apr 22, 2013)

dave 236 said:


> Hell I want my wife to train...just not in the same gym as me. I'd gladly pay someone ( especially a qualified woman) to help her. I can't talk to her like other trainees or I get cutoff at home.
> 
> Sent from my DROID4 using Tapatalk 2





lol


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## c4x (Apr 22, 2013)

Maybe shes under the impression that she will build muscle in the same fashion as you?


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## Jack_Hammer (Apr 23, 2013)

be thankful bro!  A trainer is going to tell her what she wants to hear and not be honest.  I used to train a girl I was with and I was honest and that didn't go over to well.  don't be offended!


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## Swfl (Apr 23, 2013)

she is probably intimitaded by your progress and wants to be on your level, so she is doing what she feels is going to get her the results. I know my wife is like that she gets upset when i make progress and she doesnt. I would take it as money well invested and let the trainer bitch kick her ass. then you encourage her tell her how great she looks then go home and knock the bottom out of it. WIN-WIN!!!


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## Watson (Apr 23, 2013)

damn i couldnt/wouldnt lift with my wife, id rather be re-circumsized with a rusty nail file....

ur wife wants to do it alone so u will be proud of her, if u train her then she cant take credit

be happy ull be hitting a tighter body soon


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## REDDOG309 (Apr 23, 2013)

Don't make it about you because it isn't, Just be happy that she is trying to take better care of herself.


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## s2h (Apr 23, 2013)

Be thankful she wants to train.....and let her do her thing...it wouldn't bother me at all and I train people...my wife is a trainer and she has a trainer,nutrionist/prep coach(she competes)...I don't offer any help and she really doesn't ask for much....and it works out best that way...if we go to the gym together(which is rare)she does her thing and I do mine..

I guess its more comforting knowing her coaches are guys I know very well and were the ones who helped me early on in my bb ventures..


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## PushAndPull (Apr 23, 2013)

I wouldn't take it personal, it's just her preference. It will also give you more free time in the gym. To top it off her trainer is a women, so just dream about a threesome with the trainer and your wife's future body. Future looks bright.


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## CG (Apr 23, 2013)

As long as she's doing it and the cost isn't putting you out too much, I would not be bothered in the least.


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## jshredz (Apr 23, 2013)

She's probably under the wrong impression that if she trains with a bodybuilder she'll look like one. 

Just like all the inexperience guys you see at the gym that probably want to train with you, but the first words that come out there mouth is " I don't want to be  as big as you" LOL

I would consider this a blessing in disguise, whenever I trained with my wife I would spent hours at the gym and it was a hard to get a good workout in and keep a good pace.

besides it's a female trainer to top it off, your gtg in my book


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## Jenie (Apr 23, 2013)

kristaleigh said:


> From a girl's perspective lifting with your man sucks. Especially if he knows what he's doing. The last thing a woman wants is for her man to see her be weak in an area that he's strong in. I'm a trainer and know what I'm doing and I still feel that way. I'll lift at the same time as my man, in the same place, but never actually together. I do my thing, he does his, no fighting, all good. If I need a spot, then yes, I'll grab him, otherwise I'd rather him glance over and see me rocking my workout than be standing over me tearing it apart. Trust me, training your girl is a baaaad idea even if you are an amazing trainer. It will kill your relationship.



I agree


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## Little Wing (Apr 23, 2013)

don't resent your wife putting on her big girl panties and doing what is best for *her*. i agree with reddog, don't make it about you.


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## lilgumby (Apr 23, 2013)

I've been training my wife and setting her diets up for quite some time now ,she has had some phenomenal gains.  I don't mind and Love doing it but her soon we are hiring a female (online ) that she loves this women's physic to do it all.  I'm happy for the break and she is excited.  


Let her grow and experience stuff, who knows you both might learn something


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## CaptainNapalm (Apr 23, 2013)

I wouldn't be upset although I can understand why you might be.  You have to look at it from a realistic perspective.  Your wife's comfort level with you is as good as it can be which can be counter productive to get her into shape (depending on the type of person you are and she is).  It's often people we don't know well or ones we don't feel too comfortable around which whip us into good shape.  Perhaps your wife sees this and wants to get someone from the outside who's program she follow through.  Perhaps she feels that if she's burning money on this trainer it might encourage her more not to quit.  There could be many reasons for her choice but at the end of the day you should be supportive.


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## vicious 13 (Apr 23, 2013)

I wouldn't mind my wife just slows me down


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## thesecretsausage (Apr 24, 2013)

Women often think if they train like men then they'd get too big and bulky. That's why we're all so muscly after 4 weeks at the gym. NOT! Don't sweat it, although the money thing might annoy me, how much is it?


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## Getbig2 (Apr 24, 2013)

c4x said:


> Maybe shes under the impression that she will build muscle in the same fashion as you?





True, my girl used to think that weight lifting was going to make her bulky and look like a man, I used to tell her no! It will help you tone up. Smh still doesnt get it


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## crestcreeper88 (Apr 28, 2013)

Lol. Good conversation.  Now Im an easy going guy but when it comes to the gym/working out im a whole different animal.  I can just see myself forming a resentment against my girl because she "refuses" to do an exercise with 100% (imo) correct form, or something along those lines. Idk why but i can see something like that irking mr everytime I look at her.  Then of course next time we get into an argument, there are like  3 examples of "asshole" things Ive done or said at the gym along with the rest  of the list of complaints she saves for those special times.  
    Ya bro, the $ is probably the only negative in the situation but just think how much $ you'll save in Excedrin!


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## bdeljoose (Apr 29, 2013)

I wouldn't be offended. My girl would be more at ease with a female trainer. She wouldn't feel the need to impress me. I would be happy that she is motivated to train.


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## C3p0 (Apr 29, 2013)

You got lucky. I used to train with my girl but now I just send her doing her own thing. All the limp wristed curls and "I cant do it!" then doing 20 reps bullshit drove me F'ING NUTS. Its like having the absolute worst training partner ever. Curls on the incline bench and shes resting the 5lb dumbells on her shoulders at the top with the most limp wristed b.s. I have ever seen. If she was a man I would punch her in the face. But shes not. So I made a routine for her that keeps her on the other side of the gym at all times. And I dont care about her gains. She could stand to gain like 20-30lbs of fat. So if shes half assing it cool, I hope she doesnt get any gains.


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## Powermaster (Apr 30, 2013)

sendit08 said:


> maybe an even better question...
> would you be offended?
> 
> My wife has decided to pay for a trainer at our gym.
> ...



Nope, I would not be offended. As a matter of fact I would encourage it. What is more important, being right or being happy in your relationship?


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## gettinthere (Apr 30, 2013)

Wow, so many ways to look at this scenario.  I train with my hubby, and we work out hard!  I'm not your 'typical' girl though.  We are all different.  There are some *guys* at our gym that I could NEVER lift with....... they are pussy's to the max and have no clue about how to lift!  Gender aside, it's being comfortable, for the both of you!  Happiness at the gym, and at home.  I understand the 'offended' thing, but........ maybe when she gets the hang of it all, she'll wanna train with you.  If not...... relax and lift!  It's all good!


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## Z499 (Apr 30, 2013)

i would be upset, i like lifting with my wife


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## kristaleigh (Apr 30, 2013)

Z499 said:


> i would be upset, especially if shes paying for it.



Lucky for you your wife's best friend is a trainer lol


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## Z499 (Apr 30, 2013)

kristaleigh said:


> Lucky for you your wife's best friend is a trainer lol



yup, and gives a good 100% off discount, if shes around


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## LAM (May 1, 2013)

sendit08 said:


> maybe an even better question...
> would you be offended?
> 
> My wife has decided to pay for a trainer at our gym.
> ...



don't be offended sometimes it just the fact that the info is coming from the partner in a relationship.  my gf knows all about my education and time in the sport yet 2nd guesses everything I tell her until it's verified by one of the trainers at the gym.  which luckily happens to be a young guy that does know his shit.

I don't get made but I do get to say "I told you" quite often and that feels just as good!


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## futureMrO (May 2, 2013)

be thankful lol my girl always wants to train with me, shes about 100lbs so not the safest spotter when i bench haha


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## njc (May 4, 2013)

A lot of women are of the incorrect notion that if they start lifting weights that they will just wake up the next day huge or something.  If you're a bigger guy she probably assumes that if she follows your advice that she will get big and unnatractive.  My 2 cents.


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## gman10 (May 4, 2013)

The wife wanted to lose baby weight and insisted on paying some trainer 100 bucks t give her a "meal plan"....She actually had to wait for an appt w/ this guy(I guess he's in demand)....in any event, she gets the "meal plan" and I swear it's straight out of some nutrional textbook...so simple and total commonsense.....we both thought it was a complete waste of a 100 bucks......I basically had written out the same dam thing a couple weeks prior but she told me that she basically wanted a "meal plan" from a certified fitnes/nutrition expert thinking they would come up w/ some out of the ordinary plan.....and w/ them being "certified" it made her think that "they must know what they are doing so its definitley gonna work".....I see her point, so I didn't get offended.....I read ur post and thought of my somewhat similar expierience and figured I reply.......anyways, take care


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## Justliftweights (May 5, 2013)

You at least attempt to train her?


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## Merkaba (May 9, 2013)

kristaleigh said:


> From a girl's perspective lifting with your man sucks. Especially if he knows what he's doing. The last thing a woman wants is for her man to see her be weak in an area that he's strong in. I'm a trainer and know what I'm doing and I still feel that way. I'll lift at the same time as my man, in the same place, but never actually together. I do my thing, he does his, no fighting, all good. If I need a spot, then yes, I'll grab him, otherwise I'd rather him glance over and see me rocking my workout than be standing over me tearing it apart. Trust me, training your girl is a baaaad idea even if you are an amazing trainer. It will kill your relationship.



Um  yea....  You feel like you should be offended but trust me... if you're really about doing real shit in the gym, it's probably not in your best interest.  Any body can make someone fucking workout. But getting down to real business...and following up with that, maintaining it, teaching, as she fails and is learning, can be very stressful.  My girl and I can't train together.  If you're lucky on personality types, you might can pull this off.  The best thing to do is just communicate your feelings to her and talk about it in a normal manner (did I just say that on a bodybuilding forum....yes)

Like I said, just take solace in the fact that there's a 99% chance this trainer doesn't know jack shit and your girl will eventually find that out the hard way. When she asks you a question tell her to ask her trainer.


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## Merkaba (May 9, 2013)

jshredz said:


> She's probably under the wrong impression that if she trains with a bodybuilder she'll look like one.
> 
> Just like all the inexperience guys you see at the gym that probably want to train with you, but the first words that come out there mouth is " I don't want to be  as big as you"


Oh for fucks sake this shit is golden.  I've been planning on video about this for a while.  Coming soon.


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## 69ingchipmunks (Jun 9, 2013)

That's fucking hilarious, maybe she thinks if she trains with you she'll become bulky. Hence why she trains with a women


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## theCaptn' (Jun 9, 2013)

s2h said:


> Be thankful she wants to train.....and let her do her thing...it wouldn't bother me at all..



^^^ sums it up. I do cardio with my GF, but NFW do I want to train weights with her. She's got her own thing going on and I can respect that


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## cdan19 (Jun 9, 2013)

I met my wife in the gym while I was finishing school and working as a trainer ( BS cert by CHi health club ) and back then she'd do whatever I said until we started dating. Fast Forward 22 years of being married She wanted to do a figure competition and asked about getting a trainer. She did, it was a dude, he trained her and she placed 5th in a NPC regional event. He was able to push her more than I could have. She couldn't stand the guy or the demands but he was effective. She later went on to train with a broad she competed against and used her trainer , a female, and placed 3 rd at her next event. she loved the female trainer but again I could have never pushed her like that without fighting. She bitched about her trainers throughout the entire process but complimented them too. Capt' let her go and take the target off your back. Better to live on the corner of the roof of your house then to live inside with an angry wife. It'll give you something to talk about as we'll. just sayin.


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## MRS.KOS (Jun 9, 2013)

Most women dont want to work hard and want to waste there time with gimmicks. Just going thru the motions.I laugh at them in the gym. But most male trainers dont take into account that women are the weaker sex, tweaks need to be made to the program. Women get offended but its ridiculous, never see me pick up 500 pounds like him.


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