# I'll just leave this here...



## Gregzs (Jan 2, 2014)

I figured this should not be on Curt's Hijack Thread. 

http://guyism.com/humor/guy-two-dicks-ama-revealed-everything-know-two-dick-life.html

A guy with two dicks did an AMA and revealed EVERYTHING there is to know about two dick life

Diphallia is a condition in which a man absorbs his twin at a very young age in the womb, taking on a second penis in the process. One man opened up about his condition and the life of a man with two dicks. And oh boy is it something.

The unidentified man, going by the name DoubleDickDude on Reddit, took a series of questions from the site?s users and it?s possibly even more interesting than you?d guess.

Here?s Mr. Slingshot Cock on how masturbation works:

Q: ?Do you normally masturbate with 1 or both of them and if the answer is both, can you answer my next question?if you finish with one dick do you feel you have to finish with the other or do you do you feel you are done.?

A: ?I have multiple orgasms, like I can shoot a load out of my right cock and cum oozes out of my left one. I milk it out and then can keep going with either and make another load within a few minutes. I think it may have a lot to do with the internal plumbing but I?ve shot about 10 loads in a 4 hour period before.?

Ol? Flying V Dong reveals the following about how he drops the info on would-be lovers:

Q: ?How do you break the news to girls you?re hooking up with? Is it a ?prepare yourself, mortal? or more of a ?ooooooHELLOWTF? type of deal??

A: I did both for a while, but I [don't] date anymore, i?m in a relationship with a guy and a girl, and have been for a while. back in my teens i tried both ways and it was never predictable. the easy girls sometimes screamed and ran (literally once) as much as the virgins did. never could figure that out. But guys, guys NEVER run and ALWAYS follow through. Mostly straight guys, and they always at the very least touch and play with them a little. Some have even sucked me off so THAT was always the wild thing, the straight guys giving me head.

He also elaborated on how women react when they?ve found out in the past:

?[It] varies from girl to girl. Some have been like WOW. some have been like THATS FAKE! some have freaked out like, called me names. Most are pretty curious, but i dont have casual sex anymore, i stopped a few years back. Didnt like the empty feeling inside after a 1 night stand. did a lot of those in my late teens. A LOT of them. but for the most part, girls were nervous and some changed their mind at the last minute. dudes NEVER change their mind, they always want it even if they?re freaked out a little. lol.?

Lol indeed.

And of course, many women he?s met have been ambitious about time spent in bed with him.

Q: ?Has a female ever asked to put both inside her at once??

A: ?Yep. Many?[it went] very nicely, she complained later though that her cervix was poking out and that her hole was huge.
he kept coming back for more at least for 3 months. lol.?

But how does peeing work? Does he pee from both dongs?

?[Y]up and its not tricky, [I've] pee?d from both all my life. ?

The winky face really drives the point home.

Let?s get down to double dick brass tax?what?s the best sexual experience he?s ever had?

A: ?[T]wo dudes in my ass at the same time, with each dick in a different girl who were riding me, pussy to pussy, while a guy and girl stood over me and let me eat/lick/suck on them while they fucked.?

Really puts my best sexual experience of masturbating with porn on the TV and the laptop at the same time into perspective.

The full AMA is certainly worth a read if you have time and if you can deal with the fact that his constant usage of ?lol? looks somewhat like the structure of his genitals. And, if you must, a photo of both penises ? a VERY NSFW PHOTO, literally DOUBLY NSFW ? is available here.


----------



## SlappyTX (Jan 2, 2014)

double dick disorder

lulz


----------



## charley (Jan 2, 2014)

...  Hmmm  i'll see your two cocks & raise you two cocks...







********  Quadruple Dick Disorder **********


----------



## the_predator (Jan 3, 2014)

charley said:


> ...  Hmmm  i'll see your two cocks & raise you two cocks...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


^for some reason, I am now hungry for bananas


----------



## ctr10 (Jan 3, 2014)

Thats a new one


----------



## maniclion (Jan 3, 2014)

Sorry babe if I don't get DP the other dick gets lonely, it's going in your ass so prepare your self....


----------



## GS2 (Jan 3, 2014)

the_predator said:


> ^for some reason, I am now hungry for bananas



Fuuuuuck that ^^!!! I already spend like a hour a day jacking off and I only have one dick.... A guy would have two grow a third arm to deal with four hogs.


----------



## GS2 (Jan 3, 2014)

Also with my luck if I grew four dicks they would all probably only be like two inches long.


----------



## Little Wing (Jan 3, 2014)

Can you write your first and last name in the snow simultaneously?




permalink
[?]Carmen- 1473 points 1 day ago
He's ambidickstrous.


----------



## Little Wing (Jan 3, 2014)

bromerica 27 points 1 day agoHope his girlfriend is bilingual!


----------



## Watson (Jan 4, 2014)

10-1 odds he cant get either hard properly


----------



## dogsoldier (Jan 4, 2014)

2 dicks?  4 dicks? the mind boggles thinking of all the trouble my one dick has gotten me into over the years.


----------



## Zaphod (Jan 4, 2014)

Gregzs said:


> Q: ?How do you break the news to girls you?re hooking up with? Is it a ?prepare yourself, mortal? or more of a ?ooooooHELLOWTF? type of deal??
> 
> A: I did both for a while, but I [don't] date anymore, i?m in a relationship with a guy and a girl, and have been for a while. back in my teens i tried both ways and it was never predictable. the easy girls sometimes screamed and ran (literally once) as much as the virgins did. never could figure that out. But guys, guys NEVER run and ALWAYS follow through. Mostly straight guys, and they always at the very least touch and play with them a little. Some have even sucked me off so THAT was always the wild thing, the straight guys giving me head.



So he's calling dudes that played with his dick and sucked him off straight?  They aren't straight, they're gay as hell.  So is he.


----------



## SlappyTX (Jan 4, 2014)

Zaphod said:


> So he's calling dudes that played with his dick and sucked him off straight?  They aren't straight, they're gay as hell.  So is he.



maybe one of his dicks was gay and one was straight.


----------



## Warriorblaze (Jan 4, 2014)

Zaphod said:


> So he's calling dudes that played with his dick and sucked him off straight?  They aren't straight, they're gay as hell.  So is he.



I don't think every guy that sucks me off is gay. It depends on whether or not they get hard while doing it. 


Warrior


----------



## maniclion (Jan 4, 2014)

Warriorblaze said:


> I don't think every guy that sucks me off is gay. It depends on whether or not they get hard while doing it.
> 
> 
> Warrior



It's only gay if you make eye contact, even with chicks...if she looks up at you and you stare lovingly into her eyes instead of palming the base of her skull and checking her gag reflex you're a fag....and I'm ok with that.  Just leaves more for us breeders in practice...


----------



## Warriorblaze (Jan 4, 2014)

maniclion said:


> It's only gay if you make eye contact, even with chicks...if she looks up at you and you stare lovingly into her eyes instead of palming the base of her skull and checking her gag reflex you're a fag....and I'm ok with that.  Just leaves more for us breeders in practice...



If you can breed you're not running enough gear. 


Warrior


----------



## Zaphod (Jan 5, 2014)

Warriorblaze said:


> I don't think every guy that sucks me off is gay. It depends on whether or not they get hard while doing it.
> 
> 
> Warrior



Unless you're a doctor and you touch another man's junk or you let another man touch your junk you're queer as a buck toothed deer.


----------



## futureMrO (Jan 5, 2014)

Zaphod said:


> Unless you're a doctor and you touch another man's junk or you let another man touch your junk you're queer as a buck toothed deer.


leave the deers out of this haha


----------



## Warriorblaze (Jan 5, 2014)

Zaphod said:


> Unless you're a doctor and you touch another man's junk or you let another man touch your junk you're queer as a buck toothed deer.



Only a man knows what a man wants 


Warrior


----------



## charley (Jan 5, 2014)

Zaphod said:


> Unless you're a doctor and you touch another man's junk or you let another man touch your junk you're queer as a buck toothed deer.



.....& what is being implied here is if you're 'buck toothed' you might be Gay !?!?!?


----------



## Zaphod (Jan 5, 2014)

Maybe


----------



## Gregzs (Jan 11, 2014)

Strange Sex Laws Around the World - Sex Acts You Could Be Arrested For - Thrillist Nation

13 sex acts that will get you arrested around the world 

United Arab Emirates
Carnal act that will get you screwed: In Dubai, any sort of PDA, even a peck on the cheek, results in 10 days of jail time for each person (but if you've been boozing you could face up to a year).

Uruguay
Carnal act that will get you screwed: If you get caught in the sack with another man's wife, it is totally within his rights to either kill the both of you, or to castrate you and chop off the wifey's nose.

Estonia
Carnal act that will get you screwed: In Estonia?s capital, sex requires your undivided attention; a quick game of chess while copulating is strictly forbidden.

Utah
Carnal act that will get you screwed: Like most places, it?s illegal to marry your first cousin... before the age of 65 that is (or 55, if you can prove both parties are infertile). If that isn't the case, the marriage will be declared void from the beginning.

Spain
 Carnal act that will get you screwed: Better to drink a sex on the beach in Spain than have it; frolicking on the beach is illegal and can cost you up to ?75,000 in fines, so keep it in your pants 'til you're back in your room.

Texas
 Carnal act that will get you screwed: You may own up to six dildos, no more. A drawer full of any more could get you a Class A Misdemeanor, resulting in a fine of up to $4,000 and/ or a jail term of up to one year.

London, UK
Carnal act that will get you screwed: Sex on a parked motorcycle is a no-no (so don?t attempt to recreate the Bound 2 video). Also, never ask a strange woman for sex in a pub. Kimye impersonators will go straight to jail, while you can expect a fine equivalent to $250 and up to three months in the clink for unsolicited requests, no matter how smooth.

Flint, Michigan
Carnal act that will get you screwed: Low-riding pants exposing your undies are a Class A Offense, and can net you a sentence of 93 days in addition to a $500 fine.

Sweden
Carnal act that will get you screwed: Taking full-frontal pics in a photo booth is a cardinal sin in Sweden, though you're welcome to go topless. Expect a heavy fine if the wrong cop catches you.

California
Carnal act that will get you screwed: It?s illegal for either partner to reach climax before the other during foreplay -- a great excuse to skip it altogether and get down to business.

Hungary
Carnal act that will get you screwed: Off with those lights, and keep 'em that way -- in Budapest, sex is only allowed in the dark. Even in your home, with your wife.

Little Rock, Arkansas
Carnal act that will get you screwed: No matter how suave you consider yourself, keep your pick-up lines to yourself, as "lascivious banter" in public is prohibited and may put you behind bars for 30 days.

Virginia
Carnal act that will get you screwed: Don?t cheat, player -- adultery is a Class 4 Misdemeanor, which could earn you a maximum fine of $250.

Louisiana
Carnal act that will not get you screwed: Necrophilia is legal!!  Knock yourself out... weirdo.


----------



## SlappyTX (Jan 11, 2014)

Gregzs said:


> . . .
> Texas
> Carnal act that will get you screwed: You may own up to six dildos, no more. A drawer full of any more could get you a Class A Misdemeanor, resulting in a fine of up to $4,000 and/ or a jail term of up to one year.
> 
> . . .



naw, i'm pretty sure you can have as many sex toys as you want. . . as of 2008.

Texas obscenity statute - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

i know someone at a head shop in austin that got busted for selling an inflatable sheep to an undercover before the law changed. the cop asked him what it was used for and he told him "some people fuck 'em". as soon as he answered the question the cop identified himself and arrested him.


----------



## Gregzs (Oct 7, 2014)

http://www.buzzfeed.com/briangalind...=Campaign Monitor&utm_term=hahaha NOPE#w7qefp

18 Kids Toys That Are Hilariously Inappropriate

Apparently every kids toy looks like a penis


----------



## maniclion (Oct 8, 2014)

Gregzs said:


> Strange Sex Laws Around the World - Sex Acts You Could Be Arrested For - Thrillist Nation
> 
> 13 sex acts that will get you arrested around the world
> 
> ...



UAE one is funny cause the men walk around holding hands...


----------



## SheriV (Oct 8, 2014)




----------



## SheriV (Oct 8, 2014)

and idk whats going on here but I liked it


----------



## SheriV (Oct 8, 2014)

also..in case anyone is feeling overly adequate today


----------



## charley (Oct 8, 2014)




----------



## heckler7 (Oct 8, 2014)

thanks Sheri, I think I can help you as well,


----------

