# Woman of Wonder with great Desire



## chiquita6683 (Dec 21, 2003)

i guess ill tell u my story first..... 12/28/00, I was hit on the passenger side @50mph (my xboyfriend was driving,there was no drinking, we were actually going into a Bailey's gym). He only had a concusion, I however was left w several broken bones, was ina coma over a month, numerous other injuries, but the worst of the injuries was a Traumatic Brain Injury, which I'll have the rest of my life. I went through 2yrs of therapy of all kinds. 

Then on 9/13/02, my mother was driving me to school and was hit on her side, she passed away a week later, but of other health complications. I sustained a 2nd brain injury, both TBIs were on the frontal lobe of my brain. I was put back into therapy, still going through some. The right side of my body is weaker/slower and I have MANY cognitive deficiets and my speech is greatly affected. Thats why this goal will be such a challenge.

My new goal is to compete in a bodybuilding competition, naturally, not to win, but to come back from this and be the best I can be. I see the patients(that have similar injuries) when I go to therapy, and I realize how lucky I am. That is 1 of my reasons I want to compete. All of your support is greatly appreciated.


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## hikerchick (Dec 21, 2003)

wow chiquita, you have had a tough couple years. Welcome to IM! That is so awesome that you are working out again and staying strong. Good luck with your goals!


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## greekblondechic (Dec 21, 2003)

Hey chiq!!!

whats up girl, your story is so sad, but its good to see u on this board..I just started my journal last night and already i love it..
All the best..I know u can do it! *hugs* Vivian


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## hardasnails1973 (Dec 21, 2003)

Glad to see you made it chicky after twsiting both of your arms you are both over here LOL  This will be best move you have made trust me and things will only get better ...


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## atherjen (Dec 21, 2003)

wow hun you have been through alot! You have everyones support here to reach your goals! best of luck


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## Monolith (Dec 21, 2003)

For someone who's already triumphed over so much adversity, this goal should be an easy one. 

You'll get plenty of support from the IM members here.  Good luck!


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## chiquita6683 (Dec 22, 2003)

thank 4 every1s support..........i madea yahoo group i made when i started training, n posted stuff, like when i was really xcited i had done free squats4the first time. i always stay w the smith machine bc my equilibriums off, but in the post i was really excited, but no1 replyd  gee, u guys r great.  maybe ill post some stuff i had in the group. 
i knew about about IM but didnt think to post it here..........besides u guys kinda intimidate me. every1s on like another level, im trying to make it to my 1st competition. i look at competitiors, like a little kid does when they see bodybuilders on tv, rite now. i told my trainer this and she said.....she was like this 2, but after her 1st competition, her whole outlook changed about evrything. when[if] i ever compete i hope mine will 2 
o yea! ok my story says that i have some cognitive deficits, remember? so yea like every1else posts theyre diet/training...... ha well i have alot of help soo, i have a trainer bc i get lost in the gym n dont remember which machine to do next, or like i cant even keep count 4 a whole set, so she counts out loud ect.ect. n my brother cooks all my meals on sundays, he had to go shopping w me the 1st time too  he is a chef ata gournet catering place so he knows how to make everything really good n probly unhealthy, i was cooking on my own be4 n kept burning/cutting myself. im really grateful i have him


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## naturaltan (Dec 22, 2003)

I agree with Monol ... competing in a bb contest should be a cake walk compared to what you've already been through.  

Good luck.  It will be interesting to follow your journey to competing and I'm sure many others that have or are overcoming disadvantages will enjoy the journey and possibly provide them with some additional motivation.


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## chiquita6683 (Dec 22, 2003)

*oops*

i was gonna add more to that last post, but i cant member what it was i pressed enter steada shift n it posted it


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## chiquita6683 (Dec 22, 2003)

*starting stats were......*

heres what i was when i started training:  on 11/3/03

11/3/03
btw im 5'8
Current Body Weight: 160lbs

Body Composition Measurements:
Skydex Setting: 7
Biceps: 10.6
Triceps: 27.9
Subscapula: 15.2
Iliac Crest: 23.3
                     Overall Bodyfat: 33.1%
lean muscle mass is 107.4 lbs

body fat is 52.96

Body Circumference Measurements:
Neck: 14
Chest: 38
Thigh: 25.5
Upper Arm: 12.5
Waist: 33.5
Calf: 14.75
Forearm: 10.5
Hip: 39.25

that was over a month ago, i may have lost a lil body fat cause i been doing the eliptical 30-45mins 4times a week, n my diet WAS clean, but i hada bad weekend on my diet, n im sure itll be even worse thru the new year. 
yeah + i didnt understand anything about bb.  i thought i was going to start cutting january 1 n compete in april sometime, just like i thought i was going to compete in october........wehe hell, its been a total lifestyle change. 
i wanted to go from A to Z in just afew months, thats not gonna happen, or if it did id bea total mess. over the weekend i realized that i have to go to B, C, D, and so on first
so i told my trainer and my family over the weekend, that i wasnt ready to cut, it was just2much2soon. so im gonna just train for a yr or 2 or whenever my trainer thinks im ready. so i guess ima be "bulking" or whatever BUT i do know to keep it clean. i will still have "my personal chef"  prepare my meals the way he prepares them.......however when i start to cut my trainer will have to give him a lecture  but thatsa a looooong long time from now  so i do realize that my measurements/body comp arent that great, [compared to every1else on here] but everybodys gotta start somewhere.......i no i do have a long way to go, physically and in my recovery.


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## chiquita6683 (Dec 22, 2003)

*Heres something my trainer posted on that group*

Date:  Thu Dec 11, 2003  8:01 am
Subject:  Training Maria


ADVERTISEMENT


It's funny how we take the little things in life for granted. I
started training Maria in hopes to see her compete. But now I look
forward to seeing the excitement in her eyes with each improvement
she makes. Not to mention the physical and verbal reactions I get to
witness from Maria herself. It's rather amusing. People hear her
story and may think it's inspiring but you really don't appreciate it
as much unless your with Maria. There will be days where I've had a
bad day or a bad workout. Every time I train with Maria she inspires
me to overcome my own obstacles (which don't amount to hers) and it
pushes me that much harder. If I could take a 1/4 of what drives
Maria and dispurse a little in everyone, we would all accomplish that
much more in life. I wish all of you could get a chance to meet
Maria and experience what I have learned from her. She's awesome and
she'll achieve whatever she puts her mind to. Everyone can expect
1st place from her first show. Love ya Maria and keep up the HARD
work!

 awww! it makes me feel warm n squishy inside everytime i read it


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## Monolith (Dec 22, 2003)

*Re: starting stats were......*

So when are you gonna start cutting?

You said you've been training for about a month now, right?  What are your immediate goals?


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## chiquita6683 (Dec 22, 2003)

*no cutting anytime soon*

yea im just gonna relax bout that, n just train 4a while. gain some strength n mass. i really do not plan on competeing until my trainer says so, altho she did say we might give cutting a few "test runs" to see how my body reacts. something like low cal/carb days then up the cal/carbs or maybe i do better some other way. u no? of course u do, u've probly cut down a million times already. well anyway, idk anything bout all that or those "stages", thats y i gotta trainer


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## chiquita6683 (Dec 22, 2003)

*oh yea! btw~*


o yea maybe i should mention to every1......
that i had a craniotomy[brain surgery] at the time of my 2nd accident 9/13/02, to releive pressure or something.  and the doctors gave me a steroid, that caused me to gain weight.....at the beginning of the year, i was over 210lbs + i ate bc i got all depressed then i had a turning point, so ive been working my azz off all year to get whe weight off, n now itll be another year or so till i compete. thats all my life has been ever since the accident, hurry up n wait..... i want it now! gurrrrr!
*sigh* ok all i got is time, i'm only 20yrs/o, i have many many many things to accomplish in my life, thats y God kept me here  
 somebody needs to tell me that i can do this or that im on the rite track


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## Monolith (Dec 22, 2003)

*Re: oh yea! btw~*



> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> 
> o yea maybe i should mention to every1......
> that i had a craniotomy[brain surgery] at the time of my 2nd accident 9/13/02, to releive pressure or something.  and the doctors gave me a steroid, that caused me to gain weight.....at the beginning of the year, i was over 210lbs + i ate bc i got all depressed then i had a turning point, so ive been working my azz off all year to get whe weight off, n now itll be another year or so till i compete. thats all my life has been ever since the accident, hurry up n wait..... i want it now! gurrrrr!
> ...




Yeah, sounds good.  Just get acclimated to training first.  Sounds like your trainer has a good plan.

It's really motivating for me to see how dedicated you are to accomplishing your goals.  Makes my excuses for slacking off with my diet or exercise look pretty stupid in comparison.

Keep this journal updated.


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## Jenny (Dec 23, 2003)

welcome to IM!  You are one tough chick and I know you can do this!


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## chiquita6683 (Dec 23, 2003)

i just worked on the best post! n it was so long 
  aw im sorry my attentions pretty spent


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## Stacey (Dec 24, 2003)

Welcome to IM!!! You are an amazing woman!! 
Good Luck with your goals!!

And Merry Christmas


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## chiquita6683 (Dec 24, 2003)

wow thanx 4 the support, wasnt 2sure if there wwere gonna be alota women or not, but theresalotta chicks! ah yes! feelin the girl power  
so anywayz......this morning, me and my trainer just talked 4the hr we usually train, which was really nice. i deal w things a different way than everybodyelse, so i was stressin out cause my routine is outa wack, which totally threw me off this week[bad week]. but she said those things were really little, not to worry, n shes right! at least im here, n alive! 
everybody stresses so much about these things, n u shouldnt ..... i mean yea if ur cutting 4a contest. i havent done a contest yet so im stressing like now
but have a good holiday! and a happy new year! this year we can start over, fresh n new!


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## Dante B. (Dec 25, 2003)

Wow.

That's absolutely incredible, and certainly inspiring.



Respect.

--Dante


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## katie64 (Dec 26, 2003)

Wow Chiquita, amazing sweetheart, you are truly an inspiration and your outlook is inspiring to say the least, great luck to you with your goals, it's so obvious you will accomplish anything you choose to do in this lifetime, and yes I believe God chooses special people to be powers of example to others..........I will definitely be reading your journal to help keep me motivated, so glad you are here


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## bandaidwoman (Dec 26, 2003)

You truley are a woman of wonder.  As someone stated before, this will be a natural extension of your physical therapy involving the same gritty determination and stamina and discipline....all the traits that got you through much of your recovery.  You are a true inspiration.


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## chiquita6683 (Dec 26, 2003)

*awareness*

ill post things about bbing but i think ill post some things about my recovery, as well. i assume it inspires a few people.
  u no 1 thing that ive noticed.........on days that i train, im very alert n my speech is faster, u cant tell anythings wrong w me, some1 said to me "your doing great, this is the Maria i remember."

 on days that i dont train, im very slow, and kind of "in a daze". yesterday, xmas, i didnt train and i was in that daze again. we were having dinner, everybody was talking and laughing while they ate. nothing was wrong w me, but i just stared at my food n ate n didnt say anything to anybody. when/if some1 doesnt know ive been in an accident, theyll ask me whats wrong.

it just shows u how im getting better, and improving in my recovery. its not just an extension in physical therapy but cognitively and all around. i seem to remember things better when i train. working out gets ur blood flowing, more oxygen to the brain. i dont really know the scientific way of xplaining it, but im sure u no what i mean. i beleive that ill be the very first TBI survivor to compete in a bb competition! 

all other survivors have the worst attitude, i did 2. but i became Aware of how lucky i am. the other day i was at the HBOT chamber and the other patient i was going with,was still in the hospital, has a story all her own.......she has a TBI also(car wreck), but she had ensephalitis too (not sure of the spelling, its some disease w ur spinal cord, i think)..........so anyways she had just come out of a coma, she was ina wheelchair, she had on a diaper, she could barely talk...........n i looked at her and watched her get ready to go in. i thought about what people told me now, about the time when i was probly like her......unaware of herself, her surroundings. i was in a coma longer than she was, i had to wear diapers i was ina wheelchair ect ect. ive really come along way! i didnt even realize it 

i think that this is another sign that im getting better, before i would go to therapy n see other patients worse off than i was but i wouldnt even think anything of it. 
also i wouldnt even realize my personal appearance. thank god for my older sister! she shaved my legs once a week, even when i was ina deep coma bc she knew I wouldnt let myself go, if i was consience. gawd i luv my sister!!!


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## chiquita6683 (Dec 26, 2003)

*xmas?*

so how was everybody's christmas? mine was pretty good. i gotta digital camera which is what i had asked 4 2bad i cant figure out how to use it! i atea buncha garbage that was delicious! xmas only comes oncea yr! but the leftovers r still around my house, but next yr im gonna be real good, promise


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## katie64 (Dec 27, 2003)

Thank you for your post Maria, certainly touches my heart, glad you got what you wanted for christmas, digi's can be hard to use, I'm just trying to figure out how to record a video on mine and I've had it for a year. Take care babe, again it's nice to have you here at IM.


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## chiquita6683 (Dec 27, 2003)

*sorry*

  thank you katie. i apprecate it, n all support i get. 

sorry 4 not posting anything on others journals, it just takes me soo long to make a post in my journal that i really dont have any attention left to read any1 elses. 
but i browse em, looks like every1s doing great!


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## Monolith (Jan 3, 2004)

bump

where are the updates?


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## chiquita6683 (Jan 3, 2004)

*gguurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!*

i hate it when that happens! i was making a nice long post updateing u, telling u about my traing since xmas. but i pressed something else n it said webpage expired when i came back
*sigh* ok ill come back n post something real real soon. promise

  key* note to self* TAKE ONE THING AT A TIME. AT MY OWN PACE! . TAKE THINGS DAY BY DAY.......i cant do anything about yesterday, deal w tomorrow when it comes, try to do my best RIGHT NOW!!![n plan 4the future]


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## Hammerlynn (Jan 3, 2004)

*Re: gguurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!*



> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> i TAKE ONE THING AT A TIME. AT MY OWN PACE! . TAKE THINGS DAY BY DAY.......i cant do anything about yesterday, deal w tomorrow when it comes, try to do my best RIGHT NOW!!![n plan 4the future]




 Something we all need to remember!


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## katie64 (Jan 4, 2004)

*Re: gguurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!*



> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> i hate it when that happens! i was making a nice long post updateing u, telling u about my traing since xmas. but i pressed something else n it said webpage expired when i came back
> *sigh* ok ill come back n post something real real soon. promise
> 
> key* note to self* TAKE ONE THING AT A TIME. AT MY OWN PACE! . TAKE THINGS DAY BY DAY.......i cant do anything about yesterday, deal w tomorrow when it comes, try to do my best RIGHT NOW!!![n plan 4the future]


Maria...............sometimes when I'm going to make a long post, I will write it in microsoft works word processor and then copy and paste it into my journal, I've done the same thing, a few times  

You just can't add smilies , well you could but 


I also try to live my life a day at a time, sometimes a minute at a time


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## chiquita6683 (Jan 6, 2004)

ADVERTISEMENT


I started with 3day training in November but now I'm up to 5
days!
Per week, + I do cardio on Saturday and I also go to Yoga class
sometimes, there's a class everyday of the week but I only make
it
when I'm sore or had a really good day with everything.
Good Day = got ready in plenty of time, so I don't feel rushed,
remembered to take my supplements at every meal, if it's a really
good day?????? I might take my vitamins and supplements w just
straight
water in the morning. [I do take my supplements w every other meal w
straight water, but breakfast is the hardest, because I take Beverly
International's Super Pak (a lot of huge vitamins), 4 mass aminos
AND my prescription pills!] at a.m. meal I take pills/supplements
with unsweetened applesauce sometimes. I had a tracheotomy after my
1st accident, so it's a lil' hard to swallow sometimes

So here's my training day: Mon. =Legs/Abs, Tues. =Chest/Calves,
Wed. =Shldrs/Hams, Thurs. =Back/Abs, Fri. =Bi/Tri/Calves, n then I
go over to Gold's to tan and do 30 mins. + Cardio usually on the
elliptical machine. Oh yea, I found my trainer down the street from
there @Corey Everson's Fitness for Women. But that's another
story,
why I'm a member @both gyms, gotta stay focused on this post.
Yay!
Aren't u proud of me, my trainer wrote it down for me so I could
tell u

O yea! Another thing that was in that post that didn't make it
was
telling about the story about Friday??????????????????
LOL ok so u know how when u do a rep u can usually see your
muscle flex?
Well u could see mine baby! I must've had a smart, funny smirk
on
my face bc my trainer showed me what to do to be cocky
After I went in the manager's office, I was like "Excuse me?
Would u
like to Bi some of this ??????.. or just Tri it?" *flexing as I
said it*
It was so funny! She had me ask her next client n do the same thing.
I'm such a cocky lil' Shit! I can't wait to start
cutting! Shit,
after all that I've been through, I deserve to be a lil'
Cocky!


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## chiquita6683 (Jan 6, 2004)

*~a few difficulties~*

here's something to help you better understand what i'm going
thru/have a dificulty with. following my accident(S), i had a more
difficult time than i do now. however it does not mean that "It'll
Just Get Better" On Its Own, Eventually. this is a disability i will
have the rest of my life........this makes not only Bodybuilding
hard, but EVERYTHING in everyday life, but i make improvements
everyday.
However, i do have a personal trainer, and she has competed before,
and won. i have the right help to get me there, and the
drive..........
http://www.tbiguide.com/howbrainworks.html


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## katie64 (Jan 6, 2004)

Thanks for the site Maria, lots of great information there, my x-husbands brother was also injured in the frontal lobe area when he was a child, he was riding his bike down a big hill, crossed the road at the end and a car hit him, he still has difficulties now as an adult, but his outlook is much like yours, with a genuine desire to achieve anything. I have nothing but respect for you, life itself is a challenge, let alone with a disability, kudos to you babe


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## chiquita6683 (Jan 7, 2004)

omg! i just read some other people journals  i am soo itimidated, i feel like a VERY FAT, VERY STUPID PEICE OF LARD.  
 i doubt ill post anything on here anymore


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## Hammerlynn (Jan 7, 2004)

What?? Please dont feel like that and do not stop posting here! I'm 40lbs from where I should be and I certainly do not feel intimidated by anyone...more than anything I'm inspired on a daily basis.  Looking at the pics, avis and hearing about the success of others!  We beat ourselves up too much by comparing ourselves to others!

Come on girl...you've been through too damn much to turn away now!!  I work with clients who are mentally retarded, have TBI and some cerebral palsy.  You have overcome something amazing that some of them never will.....do not EVER give up!

Rant over


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## katie64 (Jan 8, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> omg! i just read some other people journals  i am soo itimidated, i feel like a VERY FAT, VERY STUPID PEICE OF LARD.
> i doubt ill post anything on here anymore


Oh No  That would be terrible for you not to post anymore, please continue, we love seeing your progress, your enthusiasm alone is a great motivator for some of us.  We all have varying goals and our walks are all different, you know what I am like from my PM's if I had compared myself to most of these women here, I would never be able to accomplish what I am, they have taught me what I need to learn about nutrition and training, if I had given up and left IM, I would be where I started. I am still only a 1/3 of the way to meeting my goals, I continue because of what others here have accomplished, I pray you change your mind and continue your journal, my PM offer still stands if you need, take care


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## chiquita6683 (Jan 8, 2004)

*diet*

 ok sorry bout my last post, must've had a mood swing or something 
Typical Day
 700am- awake
Take supplements/vitamins/pills w 1c unsweetened applesauce
Eat pancakes = w 8eggwhites, 1/2c oatmeal + 1/4c sugar free syrup 
About ½-1 qt water
Shower, get ready for gym, taxi gets me by 900am
I train w my personal trainer @930-1030, take more supplements, I go to another gym down street for 30-45minutes on elliptical machine, I get home around noon or 100

I shower and warm-up 1 of Chef Andreu???s meals??????could be 1 of the following: 
Ziploc container = 1/2c section, 1c section, a big square section. 
Big square section=
5oz. Chicken or steak
Seasonings= chicken- parmesan/romano cheese + Prego lite, tomato basil sauce /
Kikkoman???s Lite Teriyaki sauce 
 1c=
Sautéed fresh spinach cooked in olive oil/
Zuchinni and Squash, baked w something/
Spring Greens, 2tblsp Newman???s Own balsamic vinaigrette
 1/2c=
6oz sweet potato/
Whole wheat pasta

  Or (I make my breakfast and this on my own!)
Qrt. Size container of:
Spring greens and 1 can of low sodium tuna 3tbsp of Newman???s Own balsamic vinaigrette

 I eat my brother???s ???special recipe??? of turkey meatloaf 1-2 times a day
I drink over a gallon of water a day
I hate protein powders, I only have 1 if I have to, whole foods are better, aren???t they?  
Supplements= Beverly International???s Super Pak, Mass Amino 16 per day
I try to eat 5 times a day

arentcha prouda me?! i memberd alll that, thats alota stuff to think about! specially 4me


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## katie64 (Jan 8, 2004)

We're allowed moody days, we're women right 




 back at cha babe


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## chiquita6683 (Jan 10, 2004)

*Bodybuilding is hard as shit!!!*

ok itsabout 130 in the afternoon on saturday, i just woke up @1200. i honestly just feel like doing nothing today, but i guess ill do cardio later. ive eaten like a typical american since yesterday afternoon too. but ya know, who the fuck cares! competition isnt until like next year,or whenever my trainer says. which wont be 4 quite awhile...........so get this, i went on a date lastnite 
 the guy totally made me feel so special, and beautiful, n was really honored to take me out. so this was quite a unique date, we went to this hoity toity place, even the side of town it was on was hoity toity-Avondale, ooh! the restraunt was called Biscotti's, i've been there be4, the foods ok but the real reason u go there is 4 the deserts, they r like really decadent, rich and big.
so we get there n there is like a 25min wait, after like 15mins i say to him, "lets go........but i cant leave wout 1a these." i got some choclate cake w peanutbutter icing i think, but it was called some big name and  like really big and beautiful and everything. he got choclate expresso cheesecake (also called some big pretty name). yea i had some of his, and ALL of mine.............
but we didnt eat there, we got the deserts to go and went to taco bell. 
so ya know, it was really really nice to just 'not care, n be lazy as anything'. im not stuck up, n care what i look like, i look good damnit! n to have been where ive been n looked like the shit i look like, omg, i am amazing. i really do not give myself enuf credit! my head was 1/2 shaved, i was 220lbs, n omg!
k why wont the damn smileys work?
ok i just lost my traina thought/got distracted, n i dont wanna read everything i wrote. but im sure it was none of ur businness, but this a journal n i dont have any friends so yea my attentions gone, so ima just post it n regret it later i guess, thanx


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## chiquita6683 (Jan 10, 2004)

ok ya know what, as im sitting here im eating a pb & banana sandwich n its so damn good! last nite just threw off my focus, but 1 weekend isnt going to kill me rite? (tellme its gonna be ok)  my trainer always says, when i tell her ive been/going to be bad, "tomorrows a brand new day" or something along those lines. i luv my trainer bc shes competed n yet she's still kind of a lil bit "normal", shell be like "i had wings n a 12pack lastnite" but then again she has competed be4 n will again, so when shes cutting she doesnt play around. 
somebody on here said i should be inspired when i read the others journal, n my trainer says she looks at pictures of bbs for inspiration..........but ya know what, NONE of that inspires me. bc its like "theyre normal, they can do it" n none of yall have been thru the shit i have......but i do realize every body goes thru their own kind of shit, some of u guys just seem insane.


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## chiquita6683 (Jan 10, 2004)

*uhhh!*

ok ya know what, as im sitting here im eating a pb & banana sandwich n its so damn good! last nite just threw off my focus, but 1 weekend isnt going to kill me rite? (tellme its gonna be ok)  my trainer always says, when i tell her ive been/going to be bad, "tomorrows a brand new day" or something along those lines. i luv my trainer bc shes competed n yet she's still kind of a lil bit "normal", shell be like "i had wings n a 12pack lastnite" but then again she has competed be4 n will again, so when shes cutting she doesnt play around. 
But this sandwich is on wholewheat bread and im drinking water and i did 10mins on the stairmaster and35on the eliptical today!
somebody on here said i should be inspired when i read the others journal, n my trainer says she looks at pictures of bbs for inspiration..........but ya know what, NONE of that inspires me. bc its like "theyre normal, they can do it" n none of yall have been thru the shit i have......but i do realize every body goes thru their own kind of shit, some of u guys just seem insane.


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## katie64 (Jan 16, 2004)

Hi Maria 

Just wondering how your doing????


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## atherjen (Jan 16, 2004)

remember hun to not compare yourself to others or their goals, do this for yourself only! thats what matters the most! Best of luck


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## chiquita6683 (Jan 17, 2004)

yea thanx jen, i need to remember that! im doing good, training is still going good, no its great! awesome! my trainer n i are really proud. 
diet is somewhat good  i mean the rest of u it seems, keep super freaky clean diets(what ive seen) all thats important is that i get enough protein rite now right? its clean all week, but on the weekends its really hard, all my family and friends eat crap.......but its SO GOOD! and easy to just eat it (


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## atherjen (Jan 17, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> yea thanx jen, i need to remember that! im doing good, training is still going good, no its great! awesome! my trainer n i are really proud.
> diet is somewhat good  i mean the rest of u it seems, keep super freaky clean diets(what ive seen) all thats important is that i get enough protein rite now right? its clean all week, but on the weekends its really hard, all my family and friends eat crap.......but its SO GOOD! and easy to just eat it (



glad to hear your having awesome workouts hun!  Keep it up! 
try the best that you can do with the diet. get your daily levels of protein, aim for complex carbs and get in some healthy fats. 
if you need to let go a "bit" on the weekend dont be too hard on yourself. just remember everything in moderation.


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## chiquita6683 (Jan 30, 2004)

*Update!*

hey every1 
     omg everything is so awesome! ive started driving therapy (yea 4the second time) AND started cooking on my own!!! 
 everything is starting to come together! i hada great workout this morning! my trainer told me ill be doin everything on my own in no time! my next goal is gonna be to live independently on my own.......but i wanna continue to live this lifestyle also, forever! i really beleive that this kind of lifestyle has truly helped me! i mean i grocery shop n cook by myself, n its helped me alot cognitively, ive only burned myself a few times.....well actually all the time but NO cuts!.....yet anywayz  ooh ooh!  my speech has improved too! i mean i have my moments, but who doesnt and uh...........i forgot what else i was gonna say. ill post it later. o yea, im getting bigger!  well my upperbody anywayz, but there was somethin else i was gonna say, gguuurrrrrrr!


----------



## bandaidwoman (Jan 30, 2004)

Great news!


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## chiquita6683 (Jan 31, 2004)

o yea! i member now what i was gonsay! i changed my diet a lil last time i had driving therapy........so i had alreadty started cookin on my own and all, but i hadnt been to the grocery store yet (bc i hadnt gotten my check yet :blush: ) so i usually have alota protein for breakfast, but that morning [the day i hada driving session] i ate a bagel and a bowla cereal, no protein,.........
 later that day in therapy, i was like kinda nervous n jerky w the wheel, n maybe 2hard on the brakes, n my therapist started asking me..........had i changed any meds, was i doing anything different. well i had worked bis/tris and calves that morning, i didnt change any meds.......whatabout my diet?......weeelllll, yea  isnt it funny how suchalil thing can throw me off, jeeez!


----------



## gwcaton (Jan 31, 2004)

Maria ,

Just checked out your journal for the first time.  You have quite the story to tell.  It sounds like you have the right attitude and desire to accomplish your goals !  

Keep posting !

Gary


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## chiquita6683 (Jan 31, 2004)

thanx gary! i really appreciate everyones support.
how r u katie? i like ur new signature, but all those heads banging at the bottom need to go, theyre annoying for me to look at when im trying to read something, sorry u can leave it


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## chiquita6683 (Feb 1, 2004)

*whoa am i really doing it?*

ok whoa!  i dunno what came over me this morning, but i woke up at 7am bright and early[4a sunday] and got to work. i made 3 days worth, every single meal. i made the protein pancakes, steak w peas n carrots, rosemary chicken w pole beans and wheat pasta, grilled chicken w pole beans n wheat pasta, then i can make the tuna lastminute. AND i cleaned the whole kitchen! i am soo prouda myself i was liike soo MULTI-tasking! i thought id never be able to do that i had laundry going and different things on different burners and something on the george foreman! i cannot beleive how far ive come!
i took an hr nap after only to eat something i hadnt made. but it was damn good!
omg i think of what i did and what i used to say in my head aboutpeople that live this lifestyle, totally intimidated,i was like 'yea theyre freaks!' but i am starting to look and feel like apart of it. i made a lifestyle change!.......yea, i have many reasons that say i shouldnt be able to do this,
 its like i have to take a step back, am i really doing this?
this feels great! if i can do it w all the problemss i have, i think any1  can, maybe.
no no no remember how hard it was getting to this point? the day when i was so depressed i couldnt get myself out of bed,[medicine problems] going to therapy day in, day out
aaaaand ok bla bla bla my attentions spent


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## chiquita6683 (Feb 2, 2004)

omg! this is sooo friggin hard! 
it takes me 40mins to a whole hour usually to consume a single meal! and yes thats even when its prepared. gurrrr!
 it only takes my trainer like 5-10minutes to inhale a meal be4 or after a session of training. 
 boo hoo hoo! i had a bad day and i feel like whining about something!


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## gwcaton (Feb 2, 2004)

AWW Maria !! It's ok , everbody is allowed to whine once in awhile .  
Hey i checked out your Yahoo profile .... Wow !  you are a cutie ! 

keep up the good work !!!!!

Gary


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## katie64 (Feb 3, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> thanx gary! i really appreciate everyones support.
> how r u katie? i like ur new signature, but all those heads banging at the bottom need to go, theyre annoying for me to look at when im trying to read something, sorry u can leave it


 Hey sweetie, you have made some HUGE improvements, good for you girl  Removing the head bangers just for you, I'm sick of looking at 'em too 

Hey I'm coming down your way next week, I'll be there for 3 weeks on the East Coast, where are you??? I'd love to meet you, think about it, PM me when you have some extra time..

Your very encouraging for me babe, thank you


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## chiquita6683 (Feb 3, 2004)

*I CAN DO IT!!!!*

omigosh!~gasp~
  today i did a workout on my own! (sort of, in time i will!) the fact that i even had the guts to think i could do it though, whoa! 
 likea year when i was trying to loose weight on my own,........ok i joined a new different gym. then it was like i didnt even no how to work out, i got lost in the gym, couldnt count a whole set, it was soo frustrateing! and so i had some very low points, i leave out how upset i got, my father saw this and did something about it..........but i would have mooore waiting, thats all my life is since my accidents, hurry up n wait, then i met Kris, she is teaching me how to do this! its been along time getting to this point! haha and im only gonna go even further baby!!!
 sorry im skipping around allot and putting down incomplete thoughts but i cant type fast enough, concentrateing! well whatever idk i hada good workout! my confidence is building as im more independent and my body changes....ah!!!! im so damn prouda myself!


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## gwcaton (Feb 3, 2004)

Way to go Maria !   

Gary


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## chiquita6683 (Feb 5, 2004)

*boohoo!*

i forgot to make the post i just made in word like katie said n i pressed something wrong n the whole thing is gone! gurrrr! hate it when that happens! o well ill post it tomorrow if i remember


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## chiquita6683 (Feb 5, 2004)

*boohoo!*

i forgot to make the post i just made in word like katie said n i pressed something wrong n the whole thing is gone! gurrrr! hate it when that happens! o well ill post it tomorrow if i remember


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## chiquita6683 (Feb 5, 2004)

*boohoo!*

i forgot to make the post i just made in word like katie said n i pressed something wrong n the whole thing is gone! gurrrr! hate it when that happens! o well ill post it tomorrow if i remember


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## chiquita6683 (Feb 14, 2004)

*cutting soon!*

wow i have soo much to tell u. im gonna start cutting! 12 weeks.but be4 that im going to the cheesecake factory day be4 i start 
 not cutting 4a competition, but my aunt retired in febuary, in about 12 weeks, were going to Mellorca. one of the balearic islands off the coast of spain n france. its like the european vacation spot, maybe ill see somebody famous but i actually wanted to cut bc ive seen changes in my body, and my trainr says its good to cut, ill get harder n stuff everytime.
 hahaha, damnit im not shy!  after going thru what ive been thru and loosing over 50lbs, u better beleive i prance aroud my gym ina sportsbra, something i never did be4. 
theresa nude beach!  i want to be the best looking 1 on the beach!  i hope thats not like,.......whats the word ...... im like not into looks n stuff,i hate bbs that use juice, n have silicone breasts  thats the only reason y i hate bbing n stuff, i go to competitions n it seems like every1 stuckup or fake and beautiful. im really sorry if some women have fake boobs and are reading this. ima natural kinda gal, always have been and will be. but i was  always fat and had boobs. 
 okay sorry got off the subject there, anyway so ill start cutting tuesday n go on the trip in may i think. i might post my diet later but my attentions shot


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## gwcaton (Feb 14, 2004)

Maria.

that sounds great!  Good luck even though you don't need luck, you have all the determination you need.
That sounds like a great trip.

Gary


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## chiquita6683 (Feb 15, 2004)

hey i just read somea greekys journal..........whats ALA???
so yea i stopped taking supplements, just the aminos, im still on vitamins+meds. my trainer doesnt take any, and id save a shitloada $money. umm i forgot


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## JLB001 (Feb 15, 2004)

Maria...if your going to the Cheesecake Factory...I wanna go!!!!   I love their Godiva Choc Cheesecake!   Its to die for.

Your doing an awesome job with your workouts and how much you have improved!   Please don't judge yourself off of what others look like, etc.   Right now, I look nowhere like my gallery pics.  I could snort like a lil piggy right now!  
Take your time and build a solid foundation and go from there!


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## chiquita6683 (Feb 15, 2004)

ok ive been thinking, my trainer/everyones told me from the
beginning, i should do a figure competition. ive just made that
decision consiously, myself!
i really wanted to do a bodybuilding comp, bc i think muscle is
beautiful, thought i could build muscle easily and i wanted show off
all my hard work. (but figure competitors have muscle 2) after the
first time i went to a (bb + figure)show, i saw how the bodybuilders
got to do a routine and have music and it really Pumped me up. the
figure competitors just go on stage with elevator music, do quarter
turns, and stand in front of the judges. i thought "Eww, thats more
of a beauty pageant! Way too prissy/girly for me." I wanted to do a
routine, with really good music.........
but as i thought more about it....... my trainer is a natural
heavyweight bodybuilder, shes been training/competeing for years,
well ive been training 4a lil while now, my bodys made changes, but
its not like hers, anything. she advised that i would really do
better in figure. and i thought omg, i cant remember a whole routine
AND look good/smile in front of amillion people under a spotlight
and bright lights! my nerves/memory will be shot! ok figure, i could
probly do. its alil more classier and boring but those girls work
very hard to get where they are!


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## chiquita6683 (Feb 15, 2004)

hey, i finally posted in my gallery now if i could figure out how to do my avatar?


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## chiquita6683 (Feb 16, 2004)

*DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!*

omg more waiting!!!!! i just sat down w my neurophycologist and
driving therapist, dad and sister......the news was im not ready to
drive yet on my own. she wasnt seeing enuf improvement...yet. there
will be another neurophych and driving evaluation in september. i
wanted to cry, my driving therapist was crying. but she said keep up
what i am doing, there was great/many improvements since my last
injury. soo im gonna keep working on my goal, to compete in figure.
its really important, i be really consistant w everything. diet,
workouts, meds, everything. today was so shitty. i didnt train this
morning bc i spent the day w my sister, which was fine. but i got
outa wack w my diet, and my trainer told me to stop cardio since
thursday bc im about to start cutting. so i feel likea fat bum.
ill just have to focus on cutting, instead of getting depressed
again. i could just sit on my azz n cry the rest of my life, but no
im determined, to be the best I can be. more healing needs to take
place so i can drive again, but maybe ill never drive. damnit i need
to move some place where u dont need to drive!


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## chiquita6683 (Feb 17, 2004)

*started diet*

B C D E F G H I 
1                   
2       Maria Andreu

3                   
4                   
5 12 Weeks Out

6 Meal 1:
 6 egg whites

7   1/2 cup oatmeal (measure dry)

8                   
9 Meal 2:
 5 oz Lean Meat

10   1/2 cup Brown Rice

11   1 tblspn olive oil

12                   
13 Meal 3:
 5 oz Lean Meat

14   7 oz Baked Potatoe

15   1 tblspn olive oil

16                   
17 Meal 4:
 5 oz Lean Meat

18   1/2 cup Brocc.

19   1 tblspn olive oil

20                   
21 Meal 5:
 5 oz chicken breast

22   1/2 cup brown rice

23   1 tblspn olive oil

24                   
25 Meal 6:
 6 egg whites/1 yolk

26                   
27 Cardio = elliptical 30 min (2 on/1 off)

AND IM ACTUALLY DOING THIS ON MY OWN! no cuts or burns either! well actually i burn myself like all the time, but at least its not as bad nomore scars yet! i have lots of battlewounds


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## chiquita6683 (Feb 23, 2004)

*latest stats*

2-20-04
skyndex setting = 7
biceps=7
triceps=22.3
subscapula=10.5
illiac crest=17.5
overall body fat%= 28.9%

body circumference measurements
neck=14
upper arm=13
forearm=10 1/4
chest=36 3/4
waist=32 1/2
hip=39
thigh=24 1/4
calf=14


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## greekblondechic (Feb 23, 2004)

hey sweetie  keep up the good work


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## chiquita6683 (Feb 25, 2004)

*i wanna get muscular!*

since muscle gets ur BMR up, and i had said originally that i wanted to do bb not figure to begin w..........i think im going to Cut 4my vacation like i said, then when i get back she said well start to go heavy n figure out how my diet should work, but shell hafta teach me bout all that.......she has done soo much 4 me. 
i used to follow her around the gym n she counted outloud, but now I can work out on my own!!!  
 im cooking all my food 2!   ive totally adopted this kind of lifestyle, even though its more stressful its forces me to not be lazy in all the other aspects in life and its helped me so much w my recovery!
 lastnite i went to an awards dinner of my brain injury support group,  But every1 will be proud to know, i stayed on my diet!


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## chiquita6683 (Mar 4, 2004)

*lost 2%!*

3/1/04
154.5lbs
skydex setting 7

biceps 6.7
triceps 21.3
subscapula 10.2
illiac crest 9.4
OVERALL BODY FAT= 26.1% 

body circumferennce measurements:
neck 13 3/4
upper arm 12 3/4
forearm 10
chest 36 3/4 
waist 30
hip 37 1/2
thigh 24
calf 14
so we no know my body works w this diet 
its justa slow process 
next week she says we'll change it, 9weeks out, o yea im not taking any supplements, just meds n vitamins, but no fat burners, be4 a comp i will tho 
o yea! guess what i decided! to become a personal trainer 
i figured bc i look this good now, n ive inspired so many people i minus well learn bout this. im going to an orientation friday @a massage therapy school also. o yea i might do it thru ISSA.


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## chiquita6683 (Mar 6, 2004)

*~Competiton!~*

September 11th TYPHOON BAY- Level IVA, Qualifer for Team Universe,
drug-tested, Gaither High School Auditorium, Tampa, Fl


September 18th FLORIDA State - Level IV, National Qualifier, Palm
Beach County Convention Center, West Palm Beach, Fl


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## gwcaton (Mar 6, 2004)

Way to go Maria !


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## Monolith (Mar 6, 2004)

Wow, i was wondering where this journal went again.  Nice work.  You look awesome in those pics.


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## chiquita6683 (Mar 6, 2004)

i think im going to be a personal trainer.............n maybe a nutritionist, nooo its 2early to say that. thats alota info 4me


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## atherjen (Mar 6, 2004)

looking awesome in your pics woman!!  I am impressed! you should do very well in your comps! Best of luck to you!


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## chiquita6683 (Mar 7, 2004)

thanx everyone!   
 geez! cutting takes so long to notice results! but this is my first time cutting, i probly just impatient.....but maybe this diets not working, idk


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## gwcaton (Mar 7, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> hey, i finally posted in my gallery now if i could figure out how to do my avatar?



Good morning Maria,

Do you have something picked out to use as an avatar ? I am sure someone here would be glad to help you .


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## chiquita6683 (Mar 8, 2004)

*my trainer sent my diet change*

Maria, 
You are doing AWESOME!  I'm very proud of your commitment and determination.  You are following your training and diet better than expected.  Here are the changes for your nutrition.  We will be taking your stats at the beginning of next week.  We are almost there.........And you told me you couldn't do this on your own.  Yeah Right.  

Love Lots, 
Kris


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Meal 1:
 6 egg whites
         Meal 1:
 6 egg whites

7   1/2 cup oatmeal (measure dry)
           1/2 cup oatmeal (measure dry)

8                       
9 Meal 2:
 5 oz Lean Meat
         Meal 2:
 5 oz Lean Meat

10   1 cup Brown Rice
           1/2 cup Brown Rice

11   1 tblspn olive oil
           1 tblspn olive oil

12                       
13 Meal 3:
 5 oz Lean Meat
         Meal 3:
 5 oz Lean Meat

14   5 oz Swt Potatoe
           3 oz Swt Potatoe

15   1 tblspn olive oil
           1 tblspn olive oil

16                       
17 Meal 4:
 5 oz Lean Meat
         Meal 4:
 5 oz Lean Meat

18   1 cup Brown Rice
           1 cup Brocc.

19   1 tblspn olive oil
           1 tblspn olive oil

20                       
21 Meal 5:
 5 oz chicken breast
         Meal 5:
 5 oz chicken breast

22   5 oz Swt Potatoe
           3 oz Swt Potatoe

23   1 tblspn olive oil
           1 tblspn olive oil

24                       
25 Meal 6:
 6 egg whites/1 yolk
         Meal 6:
 6 egg whites/1 yolk

26                       
27 Cardio = elliptical 45 min (3 on/1 off)

28


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## chiquita6683 (Mar 9, 2004)

*woops were gonna carb cycle*

i just posted day 1, i didnt no there was day 2,3 ill post it lata


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## chiquita6683 (Mar 10, 2004)

*here it is!*

4 DAY 1
           DAY 2 & 3

5                       
6 Meal 1:
 6 egg whites
         Meal 1:
 6 egg whites

7   1/2 cup oatmeal (measure dry)
           1/2 cup oatmeal (measure dry)

8                       
9 Meal 2:
 5 oz Lean Meat
         Meal 2:
 5 oz Lean Meat

10   1 cup Brown Rice
           1/2 cup Brown Rice

11   1 tblspn olive oil
           1 tblspn olive oil

12                       
13 Meal 3:
 5 oz Lean Meat
         Meal 3:
 5 oz Lean Meat

14   5 oz Swt Potatoe
           3 oz Swt Potatoe

15   1 tblspn olive oil
           1 tblspn olive oil

16                       
17 Meal 4:
 5 oz Lean Meat
         Meal 4:
 5 oz Lean Meat

18   1 cup Brown Rice
           1 cup Brocc.

19   1 tblspn olive oil
           1 tblspn olive oil

20                       
21 Meal 5:
 5 oz chicken breast
         Meal 5:
 5 oz chicken breast

22   5 oz Swt Potatoe
           3 oz Swt Potatoe

23   1 tblspn olive oil
           1 tblspn olive oil

24                       
25 Meal 6:
 6 egg whites/1 yolk
         Meal 6:
 6 egg whites/1 yolk

 today is my very first low carb day, this isnt easy! specially when my brothers bringing home gourmet meals, uhh i miss him cooking 4me! 
 woops! yea its kinda funny  when i fart, ill be in the middle of sayin somethin to some1, i letit go n it will be a silent 1 which r the worst n so ill grab their arm and walk away, "i think we oughta come over here bc......"


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## chiquita6683 (Mar 11, 2004)

*first time ever carb cycleing, 2nd locarb day*

uuuhhhhhhhh! idk how u people do this over n over [i say that now,] i am so exhausted and im starving! 

ooh ooh! guess what?! i was able to see a line in my the side booty  im so xcited! ive never had that be4! yay!


----------



## atherjen (Mar 11, 2004)

Way to go girl!! 
diet looks great! well planned!! 
fill up on lots of veggies to help keep the hunger down!


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## gwcaton (Mar 11, 2004)

Good job Maria !


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## chiquita6683 (Mar 11, 2004)

*thanx guys*

  hehe  gee thanx guys!
    so yea good thing i dont havea real job YET........i ate n trained this morning and ate n took my meds bouta 11. n made that last post ect. omg i actually tooka nap! i just woke up @230 
 AND my meds r sposta keep me awake!. i take adderall  and 1/2 a provigil in the morning(not the only meds) ...........so Adderalls for my attention and Provigils for alertness. and i take just those meds again@noon meal.  
 wow this is alot to concentrate on, AND i gotta cook/clean later ect. im sposeta have the eggwhites/egg be4 i go2bed........i have forgotten a couple of nites. 1time i putem in the micro for 2:00 mins n i usually cookem for another minute after i stirem, well i left during the 2mins and started doin somethingelse. the next morning they were still in there raw  
  yea i think i can become a personal trainer, im looking in2it, any association suggestions? altho im not sure i could do that, i have a hard time keeping count during MY workouts. but then again i just may be really good at it. like i hate people that talk to me during a workout it makes me loose count. (i train @a women's gym) i see the trainers n clients haveing regular conversations, like the workout is nothing. i like it tho, its small and i know the machines well NOW. maybe i oughta train people @ 1a those huge places that way i could be serious/concentrate w the clients idk? thats along way off from now


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## chiquita6683 (Mar 18, 2004)

*i changed colors in the group!*

YAY!!!! someone told me how but i actually DID! its the really 
small things that count!

   something happened, i mean something really positive! n whoa its 
like all i needed=D 

one of my best friends told me after my first accident, she felt 
like her best friend died. i had NO personality at all. i couldnt 
make facial expressions or anything, my voice was a whisper n very 
monotoned. damn those fukers that hit me!!!! 

now, holy shit! im really crazy like loud n obnoxios! lol a cocky 
lil shit! yea im like 1a those cute/weird dorks, i guess. my 
personality is showing! yea yea yea, i Cuss like all the time! lol i 
say yea yea yea alot2

    u no what, i need to get off the damn computer so much! dont get 
me wrong im like really popular on here n all love all of my yahoo 
buddies that chat w me! but i am like hot as fuck! k holy shit its 
just now hitting me that I NEED TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! but shit u 
cant do that when u cant drive!

   jeezus! i am soo slow! it takes me forever to do shit! but i mean 
at least i figurd how 2 make the group! yea cause i had nothing 
better 2 do n maybe it helped me cognitively, so yay 4me!


----------



## chiquita6683 (Mar 18, 2004)

now if i could figure this damn thing out!


----------



## myCATpowerlifts (Mar 18, 2004)

how old are you?


----------



## myCATpowerlifts (Mar 18, 2004)

nvm i read it, 20 yr old


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## chiquita6683 (Mar 20, 2004)

*growin up*

This is a part of growing up, my group I mean.
The group doesn't make me look as good as a person. But during
this time in my life, I do not get to spend much time with the good
friends I do have. I have many people that love me in my life, and I
am very thankful for them.
So I'm very sorry but I will not make as many posts as often as I
have. I think I am a very determined person. So when I came up with
this goal, there is no stopping me!
I had an experience this weekend that told me I shouldn't try so
hard, take a few steps back. I think that is right, and I am very
glad because of it.
I'm also very impatient. I want (almost) everything right then. I
think many (mature) people that have joined the group do realize
this.
Thank you for all your support, I hope this group keeps increasing.
So I will make posts before and after CompetitionS that I do in the
future. If I give inspiration to others then that is wonderful but
that is not my motivation of working out.


----------



## gwcaton (Mar 20, 2004)

Hi Maria ! 

Not sure what your last post is all about but you are an inspiration so please do come back as often as you can.


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## Monolith (Mar 20, 2004)

*Re: growin up*



> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> This is a part of growing up, my group I mean.
> The group doesn't make me look as good as a person. But during
> this time in my life, I do not get to spend much time with the good
> ...



Sorry to hear you won't be posting as much... but glad to hear you're still gonna compete.  Make sure you at least stop by and give us some pics of your trophy.


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## chiquita6683 (Mar 20, 2004)

*thanx guys*

Yes, of course I'll still be around! just not gonna be so personal thats all! i decided to just take it easy n train and not follow such a rigid diet/lifestyle. i need 2 have fun! u better beleive i'm gonna post pics when i get trophie(s)!


----------



## atherjen (Mar 21, 2004)

Great attitude girl! Do what you feel is best for YOU!!!  thats all that matters.


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## chiquita6683 (Mar 21, 2004)

thanx jen! luv ur monkey! how do i getta avatar?


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## chiquita6683 (Mar 24, 2004)

ooh ooh!   
       2day, i trained w a BOYtrainer! omg, hehe! 
and wow he is totally hot! like i wanna datehim, he was like soo checking me out n drooling! it was back/abs day! n i have sucha awesome back. i usta be a swimmer, so its all thick n cutup 
i train w kris on tuesday again so we still checkin on eachother. but she is @Corey Everson's Fitness for Women. i had no confidence, i was fat and could barely talk when i came to her......she taught me like HOW to work out. omg i love her! now i can go in2 any gym and be able to train! i didit when i went to orlando! yay! now i just need direction.
IM REALLY DOING THIS!!! im inshape and beautiful, i look like one of the people in the magazines! i thought i could NEVER  do this, but now........i know i havent competed yet, but i look like a competitor! 
 ok i have an avatar picked out!


----------



## atherjen (Mar 24, 2004)

Congrads


----------



## Monolith (Mar 24, 2004)

Sounds awesome... how long till your comp?


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## chiquita6683 (Mar 25, 2004)

why is this soo hard for me??? 
 I honestly donot think i can ever do this! im trying the impossible. my sister is so worried, she thinks i am too stringent.....my doctor thinks im hypoglycemic whatever that means, all my moms side had diabetes. they were all fat tho, she could have controlled it better.
i just havent been myself these last few weeks!. meds were changed. blood tests and eeg were ordered again. i need to start accutane again but i got too much goin on. im getting my wisdom teeth taken out tomorrow. so i cant train 4a week.WHY AM I DOING THIS?!!! omg im really putting 2much pressure on myself, i need to live life and make it more balanced. its been all bodybuilding  
 i dont think i can do it!


----------



## Monolith (Mar 25, 2004)

Seems like you flip flop every post... from really optimistic to completely pessimistic.

Just stay consistent, keep workin at it, dont let the small stuff get you down... you'll get there.  You already look really good!


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 1, 2004)

yea so im sorry im so moody in my posts, i guess i just post when i feel really good or really bad. so i havent been in the gym since last thursday, i eaten soo bad too. 
i got my wisdom teeth out last friday  so that can be my excuse for being so fat right? hahaha
i cant wait to get back in the gym


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## Monolith (Apr 1, 2004)

Dont let the little hiccups get ya down... just keep your goal in the back of your mind, and you'll get there.


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## gwcaton (Apr 1, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> ooh ooh!
> 2day, i trained w a BOYtrainer! omg, hehe!
> and wow he is totally hot! like i wanna datehim, he was like soo checking me out n drooling! it was back/abs day! n i have sucha awesome back. i usta be a swimmer, so its all thick n cutup
> ...




Maria !!!!!!  Checking out the trainer !!!!   Hmmmmm   

You're doing  great !   What have you picked for your avatar ?


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## gwcaton (Apr 1, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> yea so im sorry im so moody in my posts, i guess i just post when i feel really good or really bad. so i havent been in the gym since last thursday, i eaten soo bad too.
> i got my wisdom teeth out last friday  so that can be my excuse for being so fat right? hahaha
> i cant wait to get back in the gym




Hey,  

You can/will make it . Look how far you have come already !  

Go Maria !!!!!!!!!!  Yeah baby !


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## Stacey (Apr 1, 2004)

Hello!! How old are you if you don't mind me asking???


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 1, 2004)

i am only twenty yrs old! 2-0!!!
my trainer says she wishes she started @my age, but shes only 26. think of what ill look like when im her age!
                                       My GOALS are:   
                              To Compete as a Bodybuilder
   Live INDEPENTLY, on my own, no man, no CARETAKER                 
                                  be a personal trainer,                      
         and Im sure I have others, just cant think of em now

 i WILL accomplish all of this! i have my whole life ahead of me!
u no before i began training back in november, i wasnt very confident that i could do any of that, i didnt even think/dream of goals............i thought i was really stupid, i even wished i had died in the 1st accident. 
 now i DO realize that i am a beautiful woman and i have alot to offer this world (and even a man?)


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## Stacey (Apr 1, 2004)

WoW You have a lot of Confidence!!!


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 1, 2004)

hell yea, ima cocky lil shit now! 
 u guys just dont no the lack of confidence and depressions ive been thru! when i was fat and my speech! omg my speech was so different! i talked sooooooooo slooooooooooooooooooooww, u couldnt understand me! it would take me so long to get a thought out, then they couldnt hear me bc my voice was so low! it was like a whisper, and very monotoned. 
 u no how people act in front of/to a really disabled person? they think their stupid and talk loud n stuff, how do u think this made me feel?
 i was loud in hs, the swim season was be4 the accident, my senior yr, i used to be a leader on the team, lead team cheers, get the team all pumped be4 meets. so this was quite a different life 4me
 now im very different, new n improved!


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## atherjen (Apr 1, 2004)

WOW!! sounds like you have come a long ways!!!  way to go girl!!! 
great attitude and I love the way you lay out your goals! with that youll reach them and beyond for sure!!!!


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 1, 2004)

*thanx guys*

thank you Jen! everyone is always so supportive! 
 ha baby I have come soooo far!  i am just now realizing this i think, thats y im so damn cocky. it really is such a great feeling, this change, and positive!
 i think fitness has brought this feeling out of me (again?) um i have plenty more to say about everything but ima takea break for awhile. 
 yea notice how im just now making this like a real journal, bc im improving MORE.....and i made comments in (almost)everyone elses journals? sooooooo yea i unsubscribed to them again bc i dont like my mailbox full of every1s posts and my attention really doesnt last that long, so dont expect very long posts or anything


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 1, 2004)

*i have a yahoo group 2, Thanx HANs!*

Subject: [Chiquitas_Comeback] $12 of Arby's, just filling u in, again maybe? 

*sigh* ok ok, so i'm not dieting anymore 
over a week ago, my body started to cut up, and i saw how little i 
was, i told A trainer "F____ Figure, I wanna show this off, have a 
routine!" itll feel like more of a Comeback then. 
  I don't know what all I've written in all the other posts, and I 
dont have the attention to read all of them.....The last few weeks I 
havent been myself, I was taking my medicine the wrong way. 
Anyways, I just had a bunch of tests run on me so I'm waiting on 
the results, my Doctor straightened me out on my meds, and I'm 
growing up....Again.
  I was going to say something else but forgot  

so i didnt post this there, but this is spose 2 be a journal right? anyway, i said i was taking the wrong meds/no the wrong way, rite meds. omg i made such a fool of myself! k ill post that later, remind me if i dont.
so like i dont have many friends (yet) so im just gonna tellya ill probly write things that r no1s bizness, but its not like i have 20 girlfriends to xpress my feelings to. ive never kept a journal either, im really glad i did it. 
 Hardasnails told me about Ironmag along time ago. i wasnt as far along cognitively as i am today.  i looked at it breifly, n didnt really understand all of it, i was like yea ok thats nice, another site about BB. he told me to make a journal afew times 2, i wasnt bout to make a journal! i assumed every1 on here had competed before, and all smart n stuff, and all of you really are truely intelligent. but bodybuilders really intimidated me. 
 when i came up with this goal along time ago. i really had NO confidence, i couldnt see me losing over 50lbs or being able to go in front of a crowd, that still scares me a little bit. 
 ive begun to realize that Bbs are like every1else just w a different kind of drive! (i wish i could say that more eloquently but it wont come out)
 so anyways my attentions spent 4now. but thank you HAN!
it was you and my trainer Kris that have helped me in a way, i cannot express enough grattitude  
 so im gonna end this ina sec but ill say that yahoo is the easiest thing on the internet to figure out, i made the group when i began training, i have more photos on there.........it was hard 4 me to figure out how on here. and i still havent figured everything out, the avatar!


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 2, 2004)

omg! it just said that i had 2many images in my post so i pressed back and it was gone!!!!! it was sooo long! i had been working on it all afternoon!  damit! gawd i always get screwed when im trying my hardest! 
 it was so good! it was telling u about my other goals in life, and all the driving therapy that ive been thru and why. omg!


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 2, 2004)

yea yea yea, another time!


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## gwcaton (Apr 2, 2004)

Hi Maria !

Calm down , it will be alright. Next  time just make it in two parts  or something .

Have a great weekend cutie !


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## Monolith (Apr 2, 2004)

lol, its done that to me too.

ive just started highlighting my posts and copying them to the clipboard before i hit submit, that way if it doesnt post, i can just click paste and my post is right there again.


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 2, 2004)

*So Here is some Bodybuilding Drama I started!*

Subject:  that bitch! She uses the Juice!


ADVERTISEMENT


You know how awhile ago I posted something about Gina Davis's yahoo
group? Well I found out that she is NOT natural! I thought she was.
I just can't stand people who get on here and say that they're
totally Natural when they're not. I totally hate that!
Don't get me wrong, it is a person's personal desicion to use
steroids. But I just don't beleive that God would want us to put
anything UNnatural in our bodies.
So after coming through what I have been through, and seeing the
other patients conditions and hearing their stories, I really want
to come back and be the best that I can be, personally. I don't care
about winning or any of the Bodybuilding Politics.
........Now I do think that it is so "kick ass" when a Natural
person can beat a person on juice. Just shows you how blessed the
natural person with good genetics!



posted this in my group, we'll see if she responds, if she does it really shows how insecure she is! i posted in my group and hers that i was excited that she had a group too, i spoke to her one day along time ago on yahoo pm, and she swore she was natural!  
 i dont care! im confident...now. i heard that shes really insecure and bitchy2.


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 3, 2004)

*Wonder Woman! dahdadun!*

i pasted that post as a new thread in training 2
 im able to reply to other posts now 2! yay! im so prouda myself.  i made like a really long reply in greekys journal and i even figured out how to change colors!!!  yay, go me! woohoo!
 ok so i relize that u all think that ima doof 4 being so prouda this, but like EVERY little thing is soo hard 4me, now! it takes me so looong time to do everything, im like so more focused [than a regular person](on this goal) bc i have to be!
   but is any1 realizing this? i notice all the little things of everyday life, bc its that much harder! its called TBI traumatic brain injury, well i have 2 of them!  i feel really bad, i used2get depressed- everytime i do something stupid, like forget something. im so paranoid! like when something needed my signature, id tell whoever that it was gonna be awhile bc i write really slow
    u know what.............*opening my heart here, really personal*......the 1st accident happened over Xmas break, my senior yr of hs. 12-28-00 i was in a coma till febuary 12th, i could barely speak, i had forgotten EVERYTHING! i had to wear diapers 4awhile when they took the catheter out. :blush: i had broken my pelvis in 2 places in the accident, so i had to learn how to walk by hopping on 1 leg in PT 4along time till it healed and i could put pressure on it. my PT would get mad at me when i put my other foot down real quick, for balance, my equilibriums screwed..... you see why im like omg, this is so hard! ................about everything, and none of u knew any of this! or do u understand anything. u people[and the general public] just ASSume everything is ok, ima normal chick just like every1else. 
 ok wait i have more to say be4 i jump to another point, (im so bad bout that!).............after i came outa the coma i had to learn 2 eat again also, i had a feeding tube, then i was fed puree food,  but u no what, i ate every single bit of it! i wished i could've licked it some days! then they taught me how to use a spoon when i could situp real strong like. lol i think i did lick it then! 
    and my SPEECH! regular talking, that has come from 'an acorn to an entire forest!'.................. but*sigh* itll never be the way it was    swim season is @the begining of the school year so it had just ended, and boy did i make some memories!!! i guess i really shoulda been captain, but it was the coaches first year[new], and the senior that had the best grades got capt. but i was the 1 that got the team fired up be4 swim meets baby! hell yea, i had the loudest voice! i led most of the team cheers, n the 1s i didnt u could hear me over everyone. the freshman really looked up2me. n so @districts i got my relay team really fired up for the 4x100yd freestyle relay, i had so much addrenallin in me. i broke a minute in the 100 free, for the 1st time! n thats really not that good or anything, but 4me personally! [we went to state n i made other memories there.] thats y i like bodybuilding so much.(have more to say about bb point) so after my accident it was like a whisper, it took soo much effort to even say a word  and it was slooooow and monotoned.  
k so i luv my speech therapist and shes coming to my 1st competition along with a ton more people. hehehe i really hope i dont mess up! i hope i can remember a routine, i havent tried it yet 


um ima see if itll let me post this right now, ive been working on this all afternoon, started round 1ish and its almost 5 now. i did it in word pad, i membered this time! woohoo yaya me!




but i think i realize that i need to get over it and know that its ok! "normal" people do this, that havent been thru anything, all the time! right? every1s not a genuis! and im pretty smart, damnit! <<<<thats some point that i was gonna elaborate on but i wanted to elaborate on what i was talkin bout 1st so i entered it downafew times


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 3, 2004)

*o yea!*

so i missed the whole 2nd semester and missed all the "senior moments" like prom, senior trip ect ect i was 
but i did walk in graduation! i even gotta standing ovation 
 so i miss the 2nd 1/2 of the semester........"when i came outa the coma" (gawd i feel like i say that alot! but thats ok, bc i havent been able to tell any1. bc when i talk its slow in the first place, n i forget what im talkin bout in the middle of a sentence, but i can write it out, kinda, i feel like soo much better now! im becoming a NEW WOMAN, like the old me, outgoing n stuff, i used to never ever talk, now u cant shut me up!)...........anyway, so i missed the whole 2nd semester and missed all the "senior moments" like prom, senior trip ect ect i was 
but i did walk in graduation! i even gotta standing ovation 
 so i miss the 2nd 1/2 of the semester........"when i came outa the coma" (gawd i feel like i say that alot! but thats ok, bc i havent been able to tell any1. bc when i talk its slow in the first place, n i forget what im talkin bout in the middle of a sentence, but i can write it out, kinda, i feel like soo much better now! im becoming a NEW WOMAN, like the old me, outgoing n stuff, i used to never ever talk, now u cant shut me up!)...........anyway back 2 what I was sayin ???when I came outa the coma??? lol??????I had forgotten Everthing right? Well I had school in the hospital, a hospital/homebound program. And Mrs.Culpepper, tested me  and my math was @2nd gd level and I don???t member what reading was at, like 4th or 5th! Sooo we got busy I had work to do! Everyday  I would get up, my occupational therapist would come to my room, and she would teach me how to get ready! She made a checklist, go2bathroom, brush hair,(front of it was shaved, I had contusions or something, they did 2releive pressure in my brain) put on shorts, put on bra, t-shirt, brush teeth, ect. get back in wheelchair, remember my pelvis was broken 2) eat, go 2therapy then bout 10 or 11 have class, and she reviewed all the grade levels with me. I even had to study my Xs tables again! I remember, studying them with my bf. Yes I stayed with him. Ill copy my reply in stacey???s journal here.


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 3, 2004)

*i actually stayed w his sorry azz n he dumped ME!*

getchu some!  Post #621 

hahaha! glad the trying has been goin on, im sure ur having loads of fun!  
least some1s gettin some! im sure as hell not! 
i never get any 
my last real boyfriend was the 1 that got me in the first accident. and he DUMPED ME! we only dated 2months be4 the accident, we said we loved eachother i was young n dumb(17) so after i woke up from the coma i heard what happened n i was like "if we can make it thru this, we can make it thru anything! well be 2gether 4ever" ha! well he stayed w me thru some ruf times for 8 more months. i guess he felt bad, bought me 8 sundresses(that didnt fit) and 5 bottles of perfume for my 18th birthday, + all this other stuff. now "im growin up alil bit!" haha, mmmmm if he saw me NOW 



yea i cant remember how to do that lil quote thing but im replying back to her reply, i think i asked her if she was pregnant. sorry it takes me along time


____________________________


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## gwcaton (Apr 3, 2004)

Wow !  
there's no stopping you now !!!!!!  
yu are amazing !


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 3, 2004)

*attention single studs* i havent had a boyfriend since this loser!


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 3, 2004)

thanx gary, 
it feels really good to get all this off my chest to some1, ina way  

im acting so cocky tonite! w my yahoo friends anyway, n im never gonna meet 1/2 those fools anyway so its like i can act kinda ???to the extreme??? in the chat room n stuff. its kina funny........the internet has played a huge part in my recovery! *(wow that???s surprising)* but its so true, like i never get ANY phone calls, from any1 besides like family, or cab driver(s)
so I go in a chat room, and talk. I told u it takes me extra effort to do everything, even talking, so I got on the mic and would like blab on about nothing all day sometimes. And yes I know that people are SO MEAN! They said all kinds of things 2 me, when id get on mic and be in the middle of a sentence and forget what I was talking about, they???d say I sounded like a retard n mean stuff like that. Which I know I did/do! But you know what? .............. I just learned to not care, and tell them to click the mute button or change rooms. 

And along with my speech comes my thinking process as well. I mean like that???s y I cant drive????????????YET at least. Like when I go to turn a corner, I???m like ok turn my blinker on, think push up or down, am I close enough to start turning the wheel(my depth perception is far from perfect, Now) 

Yes ok its about 10pm, n my attentions spent n I think im starting to get headaches again. But I think ive been clenching my teeth sometimes. I used to get migranes I think. Ive had this headache all day Anyways I did take some hydroshit that worked really good be4. and ill take my nite meds. That help me go 2 sleep so itll probly be gone tomorrow, ooh guess what me n my sister n probly her bf are going to a blues fest @the beach tomorrow! Whoa like im getting off the computer!




Yea ima start posting stuff bout my diet im gonna try to stick to a clean bulk, lol clean! WHATEVER!


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## gwcaton (Apr 3, 2004)

I like your cockyness !   Have fun at the beach !


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## gwcaton (Apr 4, 2004)

Good Morning Maria !!!!


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

morning!  waiting to hear from my sister still..........damn i wish i drove.....n had friends! and i needa new bikini, my other 1s from last year like fall off me, yea cause i usta be a fatass!   but that just means i get to go Shopping!  yay  omg i feel soo good!


 but im soooo fat! i havent been to the gym in over a week  i wanted to do at least some cardio but idk better not risk it. i still have stitches from my wisdom teeth but im not getting em out till monday @10 i hope i can get to the gym that afternoon! 
 yea u know how everybody else, like whines n shit when they get their teeth out, my sister was having milshakes for liike 2 weeks! ha yea i had my days/meals where i was bad......like i had a few milkshakes n pizza but then i also had my protein 2! n i cooked n stuff!  ive been eating like cottage chz alot, n made protein pancales, n my dad was grilling out 1nite so i had my bro cook my chicken and steak, and i cut it up real small, but i ate it! but then like my mouth would be sore later so id probly eat somethin bad
 but then i have my moods where im like'yea im notta pussy, i can have protein' n id be like real good, then id pay 4it later n be bad. so i wonder what ill be like when i have those damn wholes in my gums! and im soo outa shape! i feel like sucha fat bum!
  but ina way it was probly good i tooka week off, bc like look at all im writing, and tellin u my feelins! i should tell my neurophycologist to just read this if we ever have another sesion! haha! yea, remember that post from my group, "this has been a part of growing up"? well thats bd i wrote some things in my group that i kinda am embarased about now. but this is my journal! ive never kept a journal either so like this is really great!

 ok so that was my sis, n we can go getta cheap suit for today or i can wear 1a hers, but she says it windy, so we can just chill and get lunch or somethin + i gotta save my $ cause shes gonna take on like a special shopping trip  cause i dont have any clothes that fit anymore, AND i need to buy some cute stuff for my trip to Mellorca! 
omg im like so xcited , kinda, ill get more xcited when my aunt gets here. ive hardly been outa the state! and thats like over in Europe, n spossta be some big resort island thats crazy and theresa nude beach n all! omg! yea my aunt just retired in febuary, and thats where our hereitage is from, im not loaded or anything!


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

omg relax gar!
ur AMERICAN and ur not cometeing! i personally dont know y ur doing this, at least I wouldnt/couldnt do it...........if none of what happened to me did, but thats you, and do whatever makes u happy hun
but baby when i say im bad im BAD! like real bad. but im bulking so like whatever. however your cutting but its like ur like 'omg! what did i just do?' and u feel SO bad, and ur really hard on urself. dont worry hun when i was cutting for those 8-12 weeks or whatever......im the same way! i never ate anything off my diet! 
relax hun, when u get off ur diet, just look at urself and read this journal from when u write things when u feel really good, like that post when u were pumped and u saw vains, n then ate somethin bad, n i told u to relax! 
ill tell u what i told greek...........YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON, inside and out! and thats all thats important. working out and dieting isnt!

this is a reply in garys journal..........just more about me growing up!


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## gwcaton (Apr 4, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> morning!  waiting to hear from my sister still..........damn i wish i drove.....n had friends! and i needa new bikini, my other 1s from last year like fall off me, yea cause i usta be a fatass!   but that just means i get to go Shopping!  yay  omg i feel soo good!
> 
> 
> ...



*OMG !!!!!*   Sounds like fun.  Oh and we need new pics if you are getting a new 'kini.


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

hahaha!!!!!  ok ill postem! ill try to get some done, maybe my aunt can take some, idk? the trips in may, after easter i think. baby after loosing all the weight that i gained from the surgery/steriod, im like soo cocky and when i go shopping im gonna be so cute!!!!
 o and guess what i need glasses! but im not blind so im WAITING to get hooked up w a reg eye dr. (exam was done at vision works w a contract dr) but im xcited bc im gonna get those cute frames! u know the lil 1/2 glasses! itll go w my short hair! yay! im gonna be like 1a those cute girls w short hair and "different" glasses! ah! and i look buff n fit! and im gonna continue to just train, so like ill compete in a bb comp ina few years. or maybe be4 then cause idk how big i can get naturally. like my trainer is 151/2 i think but she says she wants to do fitness ina few yrs and doesnt like being so big n stuff, but she'd kick butt in fitness bc she used to be a dancer, so i dont how do u get smaller? lotsa cardio? she hates cardio! idk............im still learning everything! but when i do learn it, like ill forget it, so its really good that im keeping a journal for that reason! yay!!!!


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

*sigh* i just got back from the beach had a really good time,  have stuff to tell u but........ im really hungry 2, all the chikn i cooked is all gone all i got left is wheat pasta and lil bitta broccili. so i just ate the wheat pasta[thats like stuch together] w some salad dressing, but im really unsure this dressing being like good. cause i member that han dude telling me, that all diet food is bad, and real whole food is good. n i hate whey and MRPs, the way they taste, so yea im dedicated, like 'a freaky bb' i cook my food, even though it takes me along time to eat it, it tastes better besides i dont have a job or anything or do i drive, so i can take the time to eat it  ............  k back 2the dressing, sorry im like so paranoid so i feel i have 2 xplain EVERYTHING, but yea ok dressing! anyway diet food bad/real food good right?
 so there was this ranch i bought, that was wish bone and i usually buy hidden valley.....BUT there was a wish bone Diet ranch and there was a regular ranch 2, but there was this "special" ranch and the label said wish bone-Just2Good, and all it has in it was 2g fat, 5 carbs, 370sodium, (guessing there)  so all that really confuses me? i just bought it, it was the last 1 (good thing bc i woulda bought 2 of em bc i Always overdo Everything......note to self* join a wholesale club*)........anywayz! yea yea yea. i was confused bc there was a diet kind a regular kind and this kind, so what should i have done? this is all a learning process, yaknow? maybe ill post this in some1 elses journal, even tho its like all personal n stuff, but i really dont care! im young/dumb/ n still learning, but i forget what i learnt  
so ok im not really tired anymore after typing all that, i think ill make a few more posts! yay!


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

*YO GAR!*

hey can u tell me how to do that quote thingee? be4 a reply u no? <<<<the real question, coulda asked ina pm
 yea i no that ur just about the only reading my journal now, besides like monolith and do u know what happened to katie64? she usta reply like all the time?  hope nothin bad she wanted 2meet me one time 
 i no like everyone unsubscribed n stuff to my journal bc i post so much, sicka their mailbox bein full .........well thats what I think.


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

*yay memory's improved!*

so ya know, how i used to be all intimidated by this bc every1 posts their diet/workouts and i said i can't,...............well i will! start, i hope, after reading every1elses journals n stuff, n i realize that its just regular people helpin eachother out....then i made a journal, but only posted when i felt really good or really bad....now ive like told/tell you EVERYTHING like really personal n all.....bc this is a journal, and the only people that read it are u know who and maybe ill print it out 4 my future husband to read, or my trainer bc i talk about her so much. n like yea im really annoying bc i have to xplain everything bc im so parnoid! n bleh  

but yay! my memory is improving! but like i did another stupid thing today, that maybe bc i have a brain injury, but its really its okay bc its my sister, my only friend. eww bleh bad day


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

yea so like i relize that i post alot, specially now! "im becoming a woman.............................Again" idk something gave me a positive feeling, which i dont think ill post in here, but i have nothin else to do n this feels really good to say all this  kinda getit off my chest  finally! cause i dont have any friends really sides my sister n my trainer, but shes really really busy + she just gotta promotion n like bbs r normal people just like every1else, no better no worse (shesa bb)

 *note to self- after i learn/figure out how to do the quote thingee, copy/paste replys to other peoples journals........i wanna remember all this
replys: stacey's journal
            greeky's  "
            gary's      "
            more in future, but maybe i'll figure it out soon

damn my mouth hurts, i brushed my teeth while i was in the shower hit the stitches........ive been brushin my teeth, eatin whole foods all week, my family n every1s impressed, said i heal fast, gotta be those damn vitamins i hate to swallow, maybe ill switch to a multivitamin, but thats not as good right? n i want the best. i hada tracheotomy thats y i think i hate 2swallow stuff, sometimes when i was taken supplements & vitamins & meds, i would have unsweetened applesauce to getem down


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

*posted this in my group*

Subject:  what Bodybuilding has done for me.......so far......4new members


ADVERTISEMENT


now as u all know, ive only been training since november
(consistently) but theres been many changes in me, physically,
emotionally, ect.
it has helped my recovery TREMENDOUSLY; i cant even express to u
how far ive come........ i came outa the coma, ive had to learn
EVERYTHING over again. how to walk (i had broken my pelvis in 2
places), how to talk(my speech was a whisper n very monotoned), how
to socialize[still learning some of this](people w brain damage
say/do inappropiate things at times), and so i had to relearn all of
this, the basic principles of living.....then i got to the point i
was able to train n b/c i saw all my fellow patients n i figured im
able to walk, im not paralyzed, my condition is nowhere near their
condition. [as bad as it is/was] at least i CAN workout n take good
care of myself.
then i began training, and got myself into shape, i gained self
confidence, i never had before......i can even be cocky at times, my
trainer thinks its hilarious. but damnit I DESERVE to be! (cocky)
unlike all other "Normal" bodybuilders. this goal intimidated me
before, i was like "yea right, i can never do that/look like that."
but my body is changeing, slowly but surely, n i feel like i CAN
do anything(almost).


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

*group message*

Subject:  i wanna be muscular!


ADVERTISEMENT




since muscle gets ur BMR up, and i had said originally that i wanted
to do bb not figure to begin w..........i think im going to Cut 4my
vacation like i said, then when i get back she said well start to go
heavy n figure out how my diet should work, but shell hafta teach me
bout all that.......she has done soo much 4 me.
i used to follow her around the gym n she counted outloud, but now I
can work out on my own!!!
im cooking all my food 2! ive totally adopted this kind of
lifestyle, even though its more stressful its forces me to not be
lazy in all the other aspects in life and its helped me so much w my
recovery!
lastnite i went to an awards dinner of my brain injury support
group, But every1 will be proud to know, i stayed on my diet!


----------



## JLB001 (Apr 4, 2004)

To quote someone use [ quote]  
copy what you want to quote in the middle then end with 
[ /quote]

click here~~~>http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/misc.php?s=&action=bbcode  it will tell you how to do it all.


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

yea im posting all the group messages here, bc i started the group when i started training back in november or something, i wasnt as heathy cognitively then as i am now(thanx2HBOT), n i posted that i wasnt gonna post as much in the group bc im gonna post alot more here bc itsa "journal"


----------



## gwcaton (Apr 4, 2004)

*Re: YO GAR!*



> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> hey can u tell me how to do that quote thingee? be4 a reply u no? <<<<the real question, coulda asked ina pm
> yea i no that ur just about the only reading my journal now, besides like monolith and do u know what happened to katie64? she usta reply like all the time?  hope nothin bad she wanted 2meet me one time
> i no like everyone unsubscribed n stuff to my journal bc i post so much, sicka their mailbox bein full .........well thats what I think.


 Maria, in the lower right corner of each post there are the words "qoute"  just click on those wrods and you are ready to go !

I have wondered about Katie too !  Was going to send her an email but when I click on the "send an email" it tells me she has elected not to receive emails  

I could be extra sneaky and find her somehow I guess but I'm not really that sneaky .


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

> To quote someone use [ quote]
> copy what you want to quote in the middle then end with
> [ /quote]
> 
> ...


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

damnit it didnt work!


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

*Re: Re: YO GAR!*



> _*Originally posted by gwcaton *_
> Maria, in the lower right corner of each post there are the words "qoute"  just click on those wrods and you are ready to go !
> 
> I have wondered about Katie too !  Was going to send her an email but when I click on the "send an email" it tells me she has elected not to receive emails
> ...




yay! did i do it, lets findout!


----------



## JLB001 (Apr 4, 2004)

you left out the / in the last quaote be sure to leave no spaces in them.


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

nah that was 2 difficult 4me, ima just do what gary told me, thanx hun!


----------



## JLB001 (Apr 4, 2004)

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!  You did it!


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by JLB001 *_
> Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!  You did it!




yay!!!!!! woohoo!!!!!!
 4u people, "Normal freaky bbs" thats what i used2 assume, but its like an easy thing 4 u...........4me, ITS NOT, anymore:blush:, i need help w alot of stuff, and people dont realize any of  that, so i think they think im annoying bc like theyre all smart n stuff.
 and its nice to feel appreciated and have a pat on my back every now n again.


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

*more group posts*

Subject:  Re: [Chiquitas_Comeback] what Bodybuilding has done for me.......so far......4new members


ADVERTISEMENT


Maria mommacita,  you can and have proven that you can do anything you set your heart, soul and mind too!  I am in awe of your determination.  You keep me and my spirit as a mother in this field going strong.  keep goin my fellow BB sistah.  Much love,
Cb_shuga

yea she has a yahoo group also, we talk occasionally, but that is like  the only pat on my back ive gotten 
 but ever since i came here like every1 is so supportive n all, that im just gonna continue posting here. like i saw this site and everything, but didnt know how to make a journal and wasnt confident enough.........
 AND that post i made about the bodybuilding drama i started, yea that was so lame. and i feel embarrassed now........but brain injured people saydo alot of inappropriate things at times bc they dont think be4 they act. which i have done sooo much of! ill post an instance when im bored or whatever
 o yea, i just went to my group and deleted all the "inapropriate messages" 
 but i had help w that 2, some webpage moderator or idk his "title" but hesa member in my group also, and we've become really good friends, we were talking on the phone today and he pointed out the fact i could delete messages if i wanted 2. i was like "o yea! i own the group, i can do whatever!" so i deleted em! yay!!!


----------



## Jill (Apr 4, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> i think they think im annoying bc like theyre all smart n stuff.


YOU ARE NOT AT ALL ANNOYING!!!! I think you are super sweet, and I admire you for all you have went through, and especially you STRENGTH!!! Just cause I dont post doesnt mean i do not follow! I think you are a remarkable women. Keep up the hard work.


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## JLB001 (Apr 4, 2004)

Maria...your doing awesome for everything you have gone through!


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by Jill *_
> Chiquita-there is nothing wrong with be uncomfortable with your body, physically.  Usually thats what motivates people to change.



 yea im posting my replys from other journals so i can read it as well as print it! it makes me feel good and its really motivating!


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by gwcaton *_
> Wow , Maria is really coming out of her shell isn't she !!!!!  I like it !


 yay!!!!!


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> hahaha! glad the trying has been goin on, im sure ur having loads of fun!
> least some1s gettin some! im sure as hell not!
> i never get any
> ...


 i didnt know how to quote some1 then i dont think or maybe i talked bout her reply or somethin.........


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> when i came up w my goal, i sometimes hesitant to go thru w it, thats even y i stopped cutting!
> i hate the fact that all bbs are all about looks! when i started my diet it was like ok so i wanna look good for my trip, then 1day i was like 'what am i doing? im a beautiful woman, i dont need to be all cutup' tho getting myself in shape Has given me confidence. im pretty damn cocky now, and even around guys.........y should i settle?
> and i wish greek could feel this way, stop stressing over every little thing! dont be such a hypochondriac! Greek, You are a beautiful  woman, INSIDE as well as out!  u arent fat! ur not ugly! y do women feels these ways?


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by donescobar2000 *_
> I preach the same thing chiquita.  I totally agree with you.  I preach the same thing to Greeky.





yea hesa stud! look at that!


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

From:  "chiquita6683" <chiquita6683@yahoo.com> 
Date:  Tue Feb 17, 2004  11:55 pm
Subject:  start of diet


ADVERTISEMENT


B C D E F G H I
1
2 Maria Andreu

3
4
5 12 Weeks Out

6 Meal 1:
6 egg whites

7 1/2 cup oatmeal (measure dry)

8
9 Meal 2:
5 oz Lean Meat

10 1/2 cup Brown Rice

11 1 tblspn olive oil

12
13 Meal 3:
5 oz Lean Meat

14 7 oz Baked Potatoe

15 1 tblspn olive oil

16
17 Meal 4:
5 oz Lean Meat

18 1/2 cup Brocc.

19 1 tblspn olive oil

20
21 Meal 5:
5 oz chicken breast

22 1/2 cup brown rice

23 1 tblspn olive oil

24
25 Meal 6:
6 egg whites/1 yolk

26
27 Cardio = elliptical 30 min (2 on/1 off)

u no its really not that bad! ooh and im doing it all on my own!=D


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

Date:  Mon Feb 2, 2004  9:33 pm
Subject:  Re: [Chiquitas_Comeback] wah wah!


ADVERTISEMENT


LOL its ok Chiq,  you are intitled!  lol
CB*

wonder_woman6683 <wonder_woman6683@yahoo.com> wrote:
  omg! this is sooo friggin hard! 
it takes me 40mins to a whole hour usually to consume a single meal! 
and yes thats even when its prepared. gurrrr!
it only takes my trainer like 5-10minutes to inhale a meal be4 or 
after a session of training. 
boo hoo hoo! i had a bad day and i feel like whining about something!


some1 froze my chiquita account at the time, thats when i made the journal!


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

Subject:  during......just an update


ADVERTISEMENT


i posted a new photo albumn.......i know im not very lean, but
competition isnt 4 a while, but hey i am 50lbs lighter than i was a
few months ago! ill post more in the future


 yea i havent figured out how to post pictures on here...........i did, but i forgot


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

Subject:  Re: Inspiration


ADVERTISEMENT


Thank you very much Andrew
You know it wasnt until today that I realized that I do look good,
and I've become a confident woman. I have been really hard on myself
lately. You are so right! NO one has an excuse! I can look this way
and I could come up with Infinite amount of excuses to not be in the
gym or eating unhealthy, unlike some people who haven't been through
anything!


--- In Chiquitas_Comeback@yahoogroups.com, "Andrew" <andrew.a@b...>
wrote:
> Hi
>
> I just wanted to say I think you are a real inspiration. I find
> everything you've and are doing to be awesome and I look at myself
> and see no excuses for building a better body.
>
> You look terrific by the way.
>
> Andrew


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

Subject:  More Photos!


ADVERTISEMENT


i posted more pics in the during folder and 1 more pic in the fridge
inspiration folder. the more recent pic is my diet and what my
trainer posted along time ago in the group. click on the image to
read what i hilited


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

Subject:  DAYUM!!


ADVERTISEMENT


Where'd you get those triceps? I want some too!


 hahaha! im gonna be soo cocky!


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

Subject:  Re: [Chiquitas_Comeback] desires there


ADVERTISEMENT


You are a very special women

Winston Davis <winsdavis@worldnet.att.net> wrote: 
You are a special young lady and your life is a testament to the rest of us who compete in anything in our lives.  Thank you for your courage!!

----- Original Message ----- 
From: wonder_woman6683 
To: Chiquitas_Comeback@yahoogroups.com 
Sent: Sunday, December 21, 2003 12:33 PM
Subject: [Chiquitas_Comeback] desires there


u know what? im not going to start cutting next yr or am i going to 
compete in april. its all 2much rite now and 2soon. ive only been 
training since mid november, so im nowhere near my potential. 
someone told me that a bodybuilder doesnt have to be a person that 
competes, but it is a person that is trying to better themselves. of 
course thats me! i want to improve in everyway i can. theres more 
important things for me to worry about now, i shouldnt be distracted 
by a cutting diet, keeping a clean diet is enough to focus on. i do 
have alot of help to get me where i am, and im so thankful for those 
those people. but i think i need to come to realize that it is ME 
that is changeing my body.
i get down alot bc i realize how much help i have and compare it to 
other "normal" bodybuilders. but i guess its okay, it just means 
that "I'm SPECIAL". hehe



~ it makes me feel xtra special, when a person that HAS competed say something!


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

Subject:  Re: [Chiquitas_Comeback] desires there


ADVERTISEMENT


dear,

realy u r very special and wonder lady.


~ HAHAHA! this goes along with my Wonder Woman theme!


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

Subject:  Re: [Chiquitas_Comeback] latest stats


ADVERTISEMENT


ur rite! im workin my azz off! =D

JD <hyperreal10@hotmail.com> wrote: 
Why the sad face? Good stats hon. 

OZYMANDIAS
----- Original Message ----- 
From: chiquita6683 
To: Chiquitas_Comeback@yahoogroups.com 
Sent: Monday, February 23, 2004 3:09 PM
Subject: [Chiquitas_Comeback] latest stats


2-20-04
skyndex setting = 7
biceps=7
triceps=22.3
subscapula=10.5
illiac crest=17.5
overall body fat%= 28.9%

body circumference measurements
neck=14
upper arm=13
forearm=10 1/4
chest=36 3/4
waist=32 1/2
hip=39
thigh=24 1/4
calf=14
=(


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

Subject:  You Rock


ADVERTISEMENT


Maria. You are a great inspiration. I hope that joining your group
will serve as a motivating force for me in the coming year.

I got on the scale last night and realized I gained 5-7 pounds
between xmas and New Years day. All from eating and drinking.
Maybe Brianbreak will get me on a plan....

Best regards and good luck for the coming year

Philly-cam


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

Subject:  Hello Chiquita.... 


ADVERTISEMENT


Hello Chiquita,
This is Gene writing. I joined your group last
night night. Tis i read the things you have gone through. Your are a figher
and will inspire other with your story! You shall help many people just by
having your group.
As for myself I am a older university student. I
went back to school after many years.Last year in the middle of the school I
had what was thought to be a stroke. At that time I thought i was in
excellent health. the left side of my body went numb. Heck i have mountain
and run also. so the i was laying in my bed at home and the left side of my
body quit working. i could not talk, or walk..my left arm and leg were
limp....turned out that i have two discs that are protruding in the area
just below my neck..two m. r. i. s and a whole bunch of specialists..and
theapthy...and i got most of my movement back. But now I limp and cannot
drive my truck because..my muscles do not wrok right all the time.
The next step is to put me under knife..I do not trust people doctors
working on my spine...
so that is my story....
Thank you for letting me share with you.....

Peace to you
Gene

p.s..it takes me a long time to type things out.....so if i do not answer
back real fast..i am working at it


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

Subject:  todays my 1st low carb day =(


ADVERTISEMENT


thank you CB!
uh wish me luck, im gonna be so bitchy! AND my brothers bringing
home alot of gourmet meals home too! this is so not easy!


----------



## gwcaton (Apr 4, 2004)

Good Night Maria !  Talk to you tomorrow !


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

Subject:  Re: [Chiquitas_Comeback]  = chiquita6683


ADVERTISEMENT


u act like ur suprised that (just as ive always told you--)you can do ANYTHING you put your mind to.dont you remember me telling you that from day one?i believe in you and although im glad for you,nothing suprises me. congrats n keep workin!

wonder_woman6683 <wonder_woman6683@yahoo.com> wrote: 
I AM SOO AWESOME!!! ah!
  [this is the owner of chiquitas_comeback, but some1 froze that 
account, but i should have it back up later tonite, i just wanted to 
vent this positive energy be4 i forget it] anyway....
Yeah! i had an awesome Chest/abs/calves workout this morning! Kris, 
my trainer, has a line on her chest even when she's relaxed, i think 
that looks awesome and is 1 of my goals....so today when i was doing 
cable crossovers, it was like there! n i can kinda see it in the 
mirror across the room, when im doin cario and the sweat reflects a 
tiny line. its getting there! almost! i just need more growth!
   BUT, i actually DID the ab/oblique exercise, she had me do.  
(it was the one where i was sitting on the bench i can hook my feet 
on n leaning back n she stood a few feet away n tossed me a weighted 
medicine ball, turned over to the side n tossed it back.) I ACTUALLY 
CAUGHT THE BALL  n did the excerise! .............omg! u people 
dont understand how far i've come! right after my accident, i could 
NOT catch a ball for the life of me, i was too slow. I DID IT!!! 
   i went to therapy this afternoon, n i went in the tank w another 
patient that was still in the hospital. her name was Sherry, she had 
a brain injury from a car accident but also had meningitis [not sure 
of spelling] n i could really see how she wasnt aware of her 
surroundings, she was in a diaper, and in a wheelchair. Her 
caretaker was the 1 that told me some of her story, she was in a 
coma for 2 months, i think she was just coming out.
    seeing her and other patients is what really inspires me to 
become the best i can be! because I WAS like that. i cant beleive im 
posting this but.......when i was first waking up, i was in the same 
situation shes in, i wasnt aware of anything, yes i was in diapers, 
and i was in a wheel chair too. but look at how far i've come! 
     and i still have a long way to go!!!


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

~the guy that posted that is a guy that trained me, kinda, he used to be a fighter
 we worked out @the Y here, not 2 queen here, well the location i had gone to, all old people, even the trainer was intimidated by my goal when i showed him the ntbk i made w all these pictures and it had my goal inside. that was be4 i met Kris and han and all that. i mean what i said was a day i had a good workout w Kris


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

Subject:  Re: [Chiquitas_Comeback]  = chiquita6683


ADVERTISEMENT


u act like ur suprised that (just as ive always told you--)you can do ANYTHING you put your mind to.dont you remember me telling you that from day one?i believe in you and although im glad for you,nothing suprises me. congrats n keep workin!

wonder_woman6683 <wonder_woman6683@yahoo.com> wrote: 
I AM SOO AWESOME!!! ah!
  [this is the owner of chiquitas_comeback, but some1 froze that 
account, but i should have it back up later tonite, i just wanted to 
vent this positive energy be4 i forget it] anyway....
Yeah! i had an awesome Chest/abs/calves workout this morning! Kris, 
my trainer, has a line on her chest even when she's relaxed, i think 
that looks awesome and is 1 of my goals....so today when i was doing 
cable crossovers, it was like there! n i can kinda see it in the 
mirror across the room, when im doin cario and the sweat reflects a 
tiny line. its getting there! almost! i just need more growth!
   BUT, i actually DID the ab/oblique exercise, she had me do.  
(it was the one where i was sitting on the bench i can hook my feet 
on n leaning back n she stood a few feet away n tossed me a weighted 
medicine ball, turned over to the side n tossed it back.) I ACTUALLY 
CAUGHT THE BALL  n did the excerise! .............omg! u people 
dont understand how far i've come! right after my accident, i could 
NOT catch a ball for the life of me, i was too slow. I DID IT!!! 
   i went to therapy this afternoon, n i went in the tank w another 
patient that was still in the hospital. her name was Sherry, she had 
a brain injury from a car accident but also had meningitis [not sure 
of spelling] n i could really see how she wasnt aware of her 
surroundings, she was in a diaper, and in a wheelchair. Her 
caretaker was the 1 that told me some of her story, she was in a 
coma for 2 months, i think she was just coming out.
    seeing her and other patients is what really inspires me to 
become the best i can be! because I WAS like that. i cant beleive im 
posting this but.......when i was first waking up, i was in the same 
situation shes in, i wasnt aware of anything, yes i was in diapers, 
and i was in a wheel chair too. but look at how far i've come! 
     and i still have a long way to go!!!



damnit i meant to post this be4 i said that


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 4, 2004)

k its 1230 @nite, im tired from the beach 2day, n im gettin my stitches out tomorrow.....wish me luck, o shit i dont need it! ill probly post tomorrow


----------



## gwcaton (Apr 5, 2004)

Good Morning Maria !


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 5, 2004)

yay!!!! i am so prouda myself! (notice i left out Damn prouda, im trying to become more ladylike )
 anyway, i just cooked 3days worth of protein pancakes! and folded a basket of laundry! And organized my undees/sock drawer! almost everything in my room has a place now!
 u remember that post i made in my group, that was like "what bb has done 4me.......for new members" well, like this is what its done 4me! im so organized! i have a sink fulla dirty dishes, but i wanted to write this be4 i forgot + im gonna shower n all now,
 *arnold awarnenzager voice* ILL BE BACK! blehah!
 maybe ill inspire a few when im back


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 5, 2004)

aowwww, u know what i just saw on TLC..................
 (i was laying down caude my back hurts, needs to be worked!)
A baby story.....
 i take everything in, now........ so i watched her family and they were so happy, and she was so happy and the husband was crying, and the baby was beautiful..........7lbs 3oz. Ashley something, (theres that memory.)
 but it made me feel really lonely


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 5, 2004)

*AND......*

yea like 2day, i actually got outta my house again..........

my friend from hs, she calls me her best friend but shes in nursing school @JU really close to me, so she had just had class, so she called me n asked me if i wanted 2go to lunch, (shes called a few times be4 but i said no either bc i was in an indepth convo w some1 on yahoo or i was cutting) so we went to MOE's and we both had homewrecker's! i know  but it was really good! 

we had fun! she has a mustang convertible, shes cute, and i make sure i tell people that! i was "yay, im so xcited! itsa beautiful day, n we're 2 hot chicks ina convertible!" shes like 'u r such a trip girl'

n she did a school paper on me n she was like all xcited, i told her i wanted a copy. ooh! AND her teacher was something @brooks rehab, n she knew about me! she wrote like all these lil notes about what really happened on her paper, didnt count off though.

 n we went to eat in san marco, and the #13 fire station is like rite there. n my 2nd accident was right on hendricks n prudential, so i stopped in and said hi to the leiutenent(hes not the 1 that saved me but whatever) i always stop n say hi/thank you.

n then we went to this lil cute shop/boutique, thats n the outside/upstairs is all 50-75%off, but they r like name brand clothes, well there was this totally cute dress, i tried it on i was like "dont i look like so hot in this dress" and the girl that works there was like "yea u MAKE that dress!"........its gotta funky design, n a really hi neck and its sleeveless, its kinda long, drops right below the knees, it accentuates my calves, that i been workin! but the whole entire back is cut out!

where am i gonna where it? i hardly ever get out.  but anyway that doesnt matter. but it was $188 be4tax, n i got it for $50


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 5, 2004)

yesterday i went to the beach w my sis, i didnt have a  suit that fit right, so she gave me 1a hers, she is seriously my bestest  friend, so we hada lotta bonding time, a few good talks, n i was just layin there reading the new collector's edition of oxygen mag *Glutes*  (omg i can like Read magazines, and other peoples journals) n she was laying w her hat over her face the other direction, so i got up n said i was goin 4a walk.

omg i luv being in shape! (even tho i havent been 2 the gym ina week n eating crap) but it was so nice, bc i knew every1 was in awe of me and checkin me out(yea i have a tanning membership 2)

we were @atlantic bch, its quiet there, not alot of people, mostly families. i could feel the fat/white moms looking @me, but i kinda felt dirty/naked when like some really gross, old, hairy guy was smiling at me.

 but u know what was great, my bathing suit would go up my booty n i would just kinda leave it there for a few mins. bc i know its tan n im beautiful, n people like to look atit.

omg its so nice to finally feel this way! there was a day where i didnt want to get out of bed even! my father came home 4lunch and i hadnt let out my dog outa the cage or anything.......i hadnt done the laundry in 2weeks 
 i would get in these mad fits bc i wanted to cry abouting and i couldnt! i would get so frustrated!


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 5, 2004)

ooh! my dentist was so impressed! i told him i was eating steaks the week after. im takin all those damn vitamins! Super Pak beverly International. but i want to switch to a multivitamin some1 tell me what be4 i make a purchase


----------



## Jill (Apr 5, 2004)

How old are you??? You should post some more pics!!!


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 5, 2004)

twenty,2-0! yea i am gonna post pics.......when i figur out how........again


----------



## gwcaton (Apr 5, 2004)

Good evening Cutie !   Looks like you 've been busy .


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 5, 2004)

Gary~ im trying to upload photos but it wont work anymore and i wanna have a cool avatar i got somein picked out every1 is so damn supportive but ive asked like 2-3 people n i think they think im stupid now bc they havent answered


----------



## Monolith (Apr 5, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> Gary~ im trying to upload photos but it wont work anymore and i wanna have a cool avatar i got somein picked out every1 is so damn supportive but ive asked like 2-3 people n i think they think im stupid now bc they havent answered



hey, i answered!

i said you should ask prince... as you can see, i dont even have an avatar, so im not the best person to ask.


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 5, 2004)

id forgot i had asked u, thank you
 i think i pmed prince but he didnt answer, busy i know, ill try again


----------



## gwcaton (Apr 5, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> Gary~ im trying to upload photos but it wont work anymore and i wanna have a cool avatar i got somein picked out every1 is so damn supportive but ive asked like 2-3 people n i think they think im stupid now bc they havent answered



Maria. don't know if I could explain it well enough to help. which is more important right now,  avatar or posting pics? Let me know and we will go from there


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 5, 2004)

ah toohey! i dont feel like it/care anymore. attentions spent on that, thanx well try again someother time


----------



## gwcaton (Apr 5, 2004)

LOL  Okay !


----------



## gwcaton (Apr 5, 2004)

Alright, whats wrong with my buddy Maria?  


> chiquita6683
> *your Inspiration*
> 
> 
> ...



You are not a fat bum !! You are a hot chick !  Remember?!


----------



## chiquita6683 (Apr 5, 2004)

mmmm bleh! 
  tomorrow is my 1st day back, what am i gonna work? im not xcited


----------



## greekblondechic (Apr 5, 2004)

working out makes u feel good! ull feel better tomorrow girly!


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## gwcaton (Apr 5, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> mmmm bleh!
> tomorrow is my 1st day back, what am i gonna work? im not xcited



Oh you'll get excited as soon as you get there and see a guy checking you out !  Start with your fav workout , whatever it is


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 5, 2004)

eww no  i wanna  concentrate on my workout, @golds i feel dirty sometimes, n i dont have my MP3player figured out yet, so i think ima go to the chiQ gym so i can See/talk to Kris again, i really miss her the week be4 i like kinda started cumin out bc i decided i needed to try workin out on my own ina big gym, likea big girl! ooh ima start ona nother post


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## gwcaton (Apr 5, 2004)

Nite  Maria ! talk to you tommorrow


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 5, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> omg hes sucha stud!!!
> i had never seen him be4, look! u been holdin out on me all this time! tsk tsk
> *looks down 4a glance again*
> ...


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 5, 2004)

ok ima paste this in my journal as well.........i cant beleive ima say this!
lol ah so ive been complimenting like every guy 2nite, but im always really like this tho! my friend asked me what table i wanted i said "yea over there by those really cute boys" n i felt every1 checking me out! it felt really really good, so im always saying thank you2 every1 about everything. but i mean im only whacko like since recently, i used to never say anything 2 ANYone. i was only spoke when spoken to..........n when id speak my speech was quiet, or monotoned, and slooooow. so as soon as id say something, the person's whole demeanure would change. it was frustrating bc i wasnt born like this! 
but recently, i had a positive feeling in my life, (i thought i was in love, i made a complete fool of myself @my gym!) i was like going around and like interupting people ina conversasion and telling em i was in love. 
i even was really really crazy 1 afternoon and the front desk guy walks in and i like totally slapped him on the ass! i just remember his face looking at me like 'how dare u molest me?!" n then the next day i went up to n told him i was sorry he said it was fine. but yea he told me he hada gf, i said well 'thats ok bc ur shorter than me, cute, but short, And my meds have been messed up the past week or 2'
which they have! since i was getting my wisdom teeth out, my dr changed my adderall from the XR kind to the regular kind, idk y but i was acting strange.  
that 1 afternoon, somebody asked me if i was drunk, i laughed n said 'no, i cant drink!'
now im growing up.............Again. becoming a Woman! so thats y im so friendly. but i love my life, n appreciate the fact that u look so hot, bc u take such good care of urselfs, and i feel the need to let u know that.
bc every1 should know that n feel good about themselves


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## gwcaton (Apr 6, 2004)

Good Morning Maria ! 

Hope you had sweet dreams. Are you going to the gym today ? If you do tell us what your workout was like. Don't forget to poat your meals .


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 6, 2004)

yea yea yea!
 im cooking rite now, i have it in a table in word itll prolly messup later tho
idk what imma work, oh theres goes my buzzer


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 6, 2004)

uhhh!!!!!!!!!  im so frustrated?! omg! i wish i could scream!!
 i mean yea yea i hada good workout ive eaten 3/4 box of  sf vanilla wafers. 2 cottage chz cups and im drinking green tea, ive had close to a gallon of water. i mean ive eaten real meals and im 2stupid to post workout


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 6, 2004)

i seriously think im hypoglycemic 
 like right after my workout i ate(in gym, waiting on ride) then rite after that and during meal, i felt like dozing off. i forgot to do hamstrings
   im really tired. everything i eat is sugarfree, bc this goal made me scared of carbs

   ive had some important phone calls 2day, thats y i was upset earlier. and i need 2 decide what imgonna do in life.
 and later tonite im havin a talk w my dad n sister (my caretakers )
 the thing is i dont wanna hafta needa caretaker, ive felt like a child, always being taken care of, drove around everywhere. after my accident i was a child! wore diapers, colored coloring books(4hand strength) and my inteeligence was @ 2nd grade! i have struggled to get 2 this point, to every point. 
 n i feel dumb! i do inapropriate things all the time.....y does all this have to happen to ME!!! its not fair damnit


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 7, 2004)

*yesterday*



> _*Originally posted by gwcaton *_
> Good Morning Maria !
> 
> Hope you had sweet dreams. Are you going to the gym today ? If you do tell us what your workout was like. Don't forget to poat your meals .


 sorry i can only concentrate on so much, not that cognitively flexible anymore. ur journal intimidates me, bc u (and every1else) can type out what u did, and it looks really neat.

yesterday:
 Legs ~~~ leg extensions (1st time going really heavy, on my own, in Gold's) 60lbsx15,80x15,80x12,80x11, leg press(yea i made an ass outa myself here.....i forgot i wasnt in 'shape', so i put 4plates on each side to start w) i got to 1big plate, a 25 and a 10 on each side, 4sets of 15,12,10,8. then i saw a leg machine n i didnt know what it was, i gotta (nother hot trainer) to show me how to do hack squats i started and it was really lite, he added 25 and i was like no put 45 on, he reluctantly did, i did 8 be4 he locked it up, i was like i coulda done 15 i think, he said he was gonna hold me to 12, i did 3more sets of 12. im really not sure how much weight. then i did lunges in this hallway, that passes the locker rooms and pool.......prolly 45yds long, i went the length 4Xs. i took aminos be4 and after. i started to eat and my sugar musta dropped super low bc i felt like dozing off, i think i need to get some glucose tabs.
 i think ima do chest and calves today.
 o yea my meals.........
i cook all my main food, i much while i cook tho 
 so i had protein pancakes-i dont break the shells n do all that crap, the 1/2 quart of eggwhites u know, 1/2 cup oatmeal, publix olive oil cooking spray, i eatem w sf syrup, then i cooked 3filets of chicken, and boiled some japanese blend veggies n i have those rubbermaid takealongs w 2 compartments, so small half i cut up my chikn and big half i filled w the veggies. i added bout 2tbspns of real blue chz dressing. i also ate bout 1c and 1/2 of cottage chz and much on cookies all day. i use an old half gallon milk jug n drank 1 during my workout, another1 during the day + lil green tea + crystal lite peach tea 
 u see how everythings a thinking process 4 me


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 7, 2004)

whoa i membered all that damnit i need to go to the grocery store. geez how do u guys do this w like real jobs n stuff, its so much to think about


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## gwcaton (Apr 7, 2004)

*Re: yesterday*



> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> sorry i can only concentrate on so much, not that cognitively flexible anymore. ur journal intimidates me, bc u (and every1else) can type out what u did, and it looks really neat.
> 
> yesterday:
> ...




*Alright Maria !!!!!!!!  Great , Great , great job !!!!! *


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 7, 2004)

ty!   i feel like a big girl in a big gym w alotta cute boys   im so prouda myself!
 the gym is justabout my only outlet for independence now. i now realize that im always going to need a careteker, i change my mind justa everyday as far as what i want to do. and im so lucky bc im not in the position where i have to growup, getta degree, and always have 2 worry about money as the means of survival.

 bodybuilding is a lifestyle, and for me thats all i can do!........... right now.  its alot to concentrate on! i have no idea how all these people that compete do it, like drs n regular people. i cook all my food, and i tell that to normal people and i think they wonder the same thing.
 o btw i hada great workout!


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 8, 2004)

damnit i thought i could do it guess i had 2 much confidence. 
 so i did shoulders/hamstrings, i did shldr press on machine and free weights, then i did 2 xcersises for the front and the back of the shoulder. then moved to hamstrings, did 3 excersises for that. i had to have a trainer show me how to do deadlifts..... i told her i had done them be4 but i needed her to set me up. then i did cardio n i looked over and saw some1 doing side raises(u no, works ur delts or something)
 yea i get lost in the gym alot, and i have word finding difficulty.
so i have a goal assessment w Bill tomorrow then were gonna start training next week maybe.
 i cried 1day w Kris, i said ill needa trainer 4ever. i probly will. my quads r still really sore.


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## gwcaton (Apr 8, 2004)

Ah . Maria,  it must be frustrating for you at times but you have to step back and realize you have made some fantastic improvements. And they did not come in a day.  I am sure you will continue to make improvements too. Hang in there sweetheart !


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 8, 2004)

*NOW! NOW! NOW!!!!!*

 but i wanna be better now!


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 8, 2004)

im doubting myself now.................after the GA w Bill ill probly feel better


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 9, 2004)

good morning ~
 its 5am, wide awake. eating meal 1-protein pancakes, cooked my meals...........chiken filet, broccilli or japanese blend veggies, baked potatoe chunks w ketchup(they got over done) and i usually eat bout 1cup of cottage chz a day, and i munch on whatevers around.......usually sugarfree cookies or sugarfree fudgesicle. so my diet is pretty clean, but idk, people that eat crap look better than me i think  but im trying soo hard, cooking all my food. i spose2 go out to eat w my sister this afternoon or tonite.


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## donescobar2000 (Apr 9, 2004)

Hello Chiquita.  Yea a lot of people who eat junk will look good but that stuff will catch up to them.  You shall reach your goals just keep doing what you are doing.


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## gwcaton (Apr 9, 2004)

Hi Maria !

You 're doing great !  Hope you have a great weekend!


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 9, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by donescobar2000 *_
> Hello Chiquita.  Yea a lot of people who eat junk will look good but that stuff will catch up to them.  You shall reach your goals just keep doing what you are doing.



 thanx 4 stopping by don, thats more of what i need to hear

hey gary- u2 sweety


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## donescobar2000 (Apr 9, 2004)

Anytime.


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 9, 2004)

AHH, HELL YEAH BABY!!!
        so last week, i hada goal assessment w Bill n i told him i wanted to compete, n all the shit ive been thru.........he kinda was negative towards it, he suggested i lean down for a figure comp. so he started to xplain how we would train, lean me out some, high intensity, real fast, 3 muscle groups worked.  uh no!

 so he s all xcited this morning n he put me thru a chest workout. he walked over to the regular bench, i was like 'im used to doing the smith machine........when im by myself' he said 'well now ya got me, we need to strengthen those stabilizing muscles" yay! he understood that i wanted to build muscle, finally. 

every trainer ive gone to n said i wanted to compete, looked on it kinda negatively. Kris was excited, but she works @a women's gym, none of her clients know how to work out, she taught me, i have confidence now, i may even be cocky i may even get back w her 2put my routine together when its showtime

so im scheduled 5Xs next week w Bill.
o btw, hes competed be4, been a trainer for 16yrs, has an awesome physique, so he knows what hes doin.
 he asked me how big i wanna get?  i was like not freeky huge, but healthy huge. he says ill start competeing as a middle weight and over years i should build muscle to be a HW.
like Kris! altho i think shes always been a heavy weight, but shes my idle.


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 9, 2004)

woops that was spose to be a thumb up!


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## gwcaton (Apr 9, 2004)

Good for you Maria !


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 9, 2004)

o yea........1 weighed 152 n my bf is 18.somethin%
 but idk if its rite im sure it is but ive always done the calipers, i had2 to squeeze it.


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## JLB001 (Apr 9, 2004)

Awesome!!!!


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 9, 2004)

thanx!!! im proud Bodybuilding is like an outlet for my Independence..........ill only become smarter, ina few years i may become a PT also. just like i wrote, itll ALL happen in Time


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## JLB001 (Apr 9, 2004)

Keep plugging along and you WILL get there!


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## gwcaton (Apr 9, 2004)

Hi Maria !

Did you delete you pics  ?


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 9, 2004)

yes.........but more r coming soon
   nite gary


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## donescobar2000 (Apr 9, 2004)

Chiquita...


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## gwcaton (Apr 9, 2004)

night !


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 9, 2004)

mmm don baby


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## donescobar2000 (Apr 9, 2004)

Don't play with my emotions now.


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 9, 2004)

ok its friday nite n im goin 2 bed @10:00 how dedicated am i?


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## donescobar2000 (Apr 9, 2004)

NP with that.  I need to grow so Im hitting the sack 2.


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## greekblondechic (Apr 10, 2004)

yayyy good progress chiqy!


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 10, 2004)

*my email i sent my trainer*

she is my idle in everyway! anyway i hooked her up w a guy that does webpages, hes got her a connection w a photographer
shes so nervous/excited! but i sent this to her

heres an article about webmasters and being "online" as a bodybuilder.
i think you're in very good hands with Noel. WPW is a classy, renound magazine it seems.
 good luck w ur shoot! ive always told u you were beautiful and belong on sites and in magazines!  
 i went for the g.a. w Bill this morning.......i had a goal assessment w him last week, n every trainers the same(i mean u were excited), i told him i wanted2 compete and build muscle, he looked at it negatively, and started to xplain HIT, to lean me out for a figure comp.
 but this morning, as he started to bring me thru a chest workout and i dunno he realized how i trained i guess. so im scheduled w him 5Xs next week.........pretty soon, we're both gonna be the BIG MAMA PUMP sistahs!!! but im gonna be ur protege



Maria 


 ill post her response n everything


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 10, 2004)

*her response*

Maria, 
I hope you know how proud I am of you and how far you have come.  Not only in bodybuilding but you have your own personality and style.  Something we both know you have had to re-establish.  I know you get frustrated with me sometimes(a lot of times) with my lack of communication but it's not because I don't care.  I never told you this but part of the reason is because I wanted you to learn or figure things out on your own.  Without knowing my intentions.  You have your moments of being VERY blunt, loud, and overbearing.  But as do we all!!!!!  It's just a way of showing your personality and determination.  It makes me laugh   I'm sad that your training with someone else but it will also be growing experience for you to see different styles of training techniques.  Just remember that you are who you are and you know what you want out of life.  Don't let anyone tell you different or try to change your mind.  If so, send to me and I'll set them straight!!!!! Thank you for connecting me with Noel.  He has been AWESOME!  He's done nothing but confirm everything you've been trying to tell me.  STAY STRONG AND KEEP DOING WHAT YOUR DOING.  I'll call this weekend.

Love always, 
Kris  

IM ALWAYS HERE FOR YA IF YOU NEED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 10, 2004)

*my response*

Kris ~
 I hope you know that I really admire you in everyway!  
  You know that photo on Noel's yahoo group's page with that beautiful girl with big quads? I think my legs can be like that! 
   Bill(the trainer @Gold's) asked me to go through magazines or online and print him a picture of where I want to be. I printed that picture, I was going to print the picture of us, but u said you don't like it very much. 
   Anyway thank you for teaching me some basics to gain confidence and self-esteem, to even be able to train with other trainers.
  Kris you saw me when I was fat, and could barely talk but I brought that notebook with the pictures on it and I let you know that that's what I wanted to do.....the 1st show of yours I attended, I was really inspired, watching your physique change almost everyday, recently especially, gave me assurance that I CAN DO THIS! Thank You!!!

P.S.~ I'm keeping a journal on Ironmagazine forums........it inspires regular people and big  bbs, people that just want to change their own bodies, keep a journal to keep them on track. My journal is more personal than some because I cant remember my workouts/diet, well sometimes I post it when I concentrate real hard. here is the link: 
http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25280 
 but would it be ok 4me to paste this email in a post on there?


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 10, 2004)

*her response*

Hot Mamma, 
Of course you can post the email.  I want everyone to know how proud I am of you.  TTYS
Kris



Kris- i luv that girl, i get to see her tonite @ a fighting event
www.obakemma.com  

ill post some pictures maybe


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 10, 2004)

thanx greek! we're taking my measurements on monday!
 i bought Kris a ticket then i called her thursday to tell her, n she had/has a date! bc i was gonna go with her. but im meeting Bill there . he said no at 1st tho, i had to convince him to meet me there.......he explained to me that he wanted to keep gym life and social life completly separate. I said 'Bill u know im serious in here........they will be completely separate." 
 hes divorced and has a child or maybe more  but it will be a good time anyways


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 11, 2004)

i had such a goodtime! Bill was such a gentleman 2
 anyway Kris n her date stood me up im sure theres a good reason
 so i took alot of pictures, but it says no camera found........ill figure it out sooner or later, but i should say that theyre really hot pictures, it was like my official "coming out", like "look at me now!"
  the trainer that i went to "originally" (be4 Kris) was there and said that she was so proud of me and really happy i went 2 that, and that i looked really good! 
 o well tell more when i get the pictures DLed.

nite


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## gwcaton (Apr 11, 2004)

Morning Maria!

Happy easter.  Can't wait to see the pics !


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 11, 2004)

*Bulking Diet*

yea i cant post what i eat everyday, but it is healthy
 i am soo proud of myself, this lifestyle has really improved all aspects of my life!

Bulking Diet: 
 just about everyday i eat the almost same thing, so here it is:

Meal 1:
protein pancakes- 1 qrt of eggwhites, half cup of oatmeal, sugarfree syrup

Meal 3,4,5,:
ziploc container has a cup, half cup, and quart sections
    the cup I fill with whatever green vegetables I have??????broccilli, OR publix Japanese blend veggies: green beans, mushrooms, broccilli OR salad
   ½ cup section I fill with whole wheat pasta OR baked potatoe chunks, not much choice there
   quart section I fill with a lean meat= chicken OR steak OR sometimes salmon
 I use a lot of real ranch dressing, carb options steak sauce, and ketchup

whatever/whenever meal:
half cup containers of cottage chz
I also get the munchies, but its usually sugarfree cookies or something like that

Drinks:
 I drink a half gallon milk jug of water, usually 3 a day
Peach tea flavored crystal lite
Undecaffinated  Green tea, or I usually mix the 2 bc the peach tea sweetens the green tea

But I cook all my food just about everyday, my grocery bill gets expensive! You maybe wondering why I am doing all this??????.well its not like I have a job,YET. So it gives me something to do, and I preferably don???t want to put something unhealthy in my body(even though I often do).

Believe me its hard sometimes, the other day my sister wanted to take me out to eat w her boyfriend (they???re big runners, train 4 marathons n such ) and my brother, to a Cuban restaurant. My brother got home from work and was tired(luckily) and I still had my meals I cooked + me and her went to lunch earlier that day, I had a grilled chicken Caesar salad.  So I turned her down.


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 11, 2004)

i posted 3 pictures of the other nite!


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## gwcaton (Apr 12, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> i posted 3 pictures of the other nite!




 Nice pics Maria !  But you don't have to delete the old ones.  We like them too.


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 12, 2004)

but it says they take up 2much space


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## gwcaton (Apr 12, 2004)

oh , well then i guess you do have to delete them or resize them.


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 13, 2004)

hahaha Gary ur lil man w the sign that says im bulking cant u tell is soo cute! i want it! i really am bulking!


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 13, 2004)

Training is going so awesome!  I think, anyways.
    Bill does such a good job as a trainer and helping me! Before an exercise, he explains what to do and how to do it and why we???re doing it that way. This is totally what I needed! It was so frustrating before when I tried to train on my own, I???d forget what to do, how to do it, and where the machine was located even! I even made decorated goofy cards to tell me what to do, that really didnt work.

He also explains his bodybuilding knowledge with me during our session, which is almost better for me to hear it rather than reading it. There???s a whole lot of articles on here (ironmagforums)  but I forget the articles I read,(I barely have the attention to read the articles, especially the long 1s) but as soon as I???m reminded of it verbally, which is what Bill does I can better understand.

He???s explained about muscle maturity, glutamine and the importance of amino acids and nutrition. Whoa, I remembered what he explained! I must have comprehended it, yay!

So somebody look at my bulking diet and tell me if that???s right or not. + I???m trying  to sleep a lot but sometimes I wake up early, so I  lay in bed another 30 

Remember that I'm only 20y/o, I told Bill he was lucky bc i was going to let him "mold" me, he said yea ok. I'm actually lucky I met him and am training with him.


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 13, 2004)

omg! ok like none of u are going to understand this but...........im really frustrated! 
  i signed a contract, again, which i did last yr when i joined gold's.my dad gets mad at me bc hes the guardian of my account, i have this $ but i dont know how to handle it!

i just got reemed out by my dad bc i forgot i promised him i wouldnt sign w/out consulting him again. + my sister reemed me out(my other guardian) bc along time ago, my dr said dont do anything over 50-60lbs(he didnt explain which excerises/muscles) so i forgot about that and saw Kris's body and have a goal of bodybuilding.................but i may have a seizure or burst a blood vessel in my head when i strain. or something like that idk

so my sisters gonna call my trainer in the morning and tell him whatever......so tomorrow im not going to have a good workout, then shell set up to talk to him and have him talk to my dr.

omg this is so frustrateing! there is so much more about me i havent told you. well notta bout me but about brain injury. its really really complicated. i just write my personal feelings down in this journal, its the 1 place where im not judged, at least i dont feel i am. but the people that respond r responding to it like a regular person. im "special", i havent educated any1 on brain injury. my family is going to have to educate Bill on my condition, just like they did Kris.

im so stupid! i cant do anything on my own! i had to get a lawyer and all this shit when i got my own checking account. my sister makes the apts 4 EVERYTHING. Doctors, hair, ect. my dad gives me $ all the time bc im broke bc i dont think about whats in my accnt, but if i want something then and im frustrated. And i do really inapropriate things all the time!
 and i dont have any friends and ill never have a bf, uuuhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

omg i want to scream or "kill" something or omg i have so much frustration!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the whole reason i want to bb is bc i look at a bb and theyre "strong and independent and 'differnt from every1'"


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 14, 2004)

ok i changed the 1 pic


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 14, 2004)

i got new pics up now
 check out the link in my signature


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 14, 2004)

i had 2 bagels at my salon!


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## Jill (Apr 14, 2004)

I love your new signature I laughed my head off!!! Its true.


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 14, 2004)

i ate greasy greasy chicken wings
 i didnt cook either, i forgot to take the chiken out of the freezer.
today was a BAD day!!!! 
 i was crying earlier today 2my sister. i barely ate anything healthy and i cant train heavy till i find news out from doc n hes gonna be gone 4 two weeks 
 i am soo far from my goal! ill never get there!


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## gwcaton (Apr 14, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> i ate greasy greasy chicken wings
> i didnt cook either, i forgot to take the chiken out of the freezer.
> today was a BAD day!!!!
> ...



You will get there ! You know you will !  I  liked the link in your sig !  Funny!


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## Jill (Apr 14, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> i ate greasy greasy chicken wings
> i didnt cook either, i forgot to take the chiken out of the freezer.
> today was a BAD day!!!!
> ...


Dont be so hard on youself sunshine. Start fresh tomorrow Everyone has bad days.


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 16, 2004)

Subject:  ~Current Stats~ new trainer


ADVERTISEMENT


4-13-04 5'8
151 lbs
18.8% body fat - 28 1/2lbs bf
right arm=13"
right quad=21 1/2
" calf=14 1/2
chest=37 1/4
waist=32"
hips=38"

I started with a new trainer @Gold's, Bill. Kris taught me HOW to
work out, like she does all her other clients. She works @Cory
Everson's Fitness for Women, an all women's gym. At this point in my
recovery, I am ready to build muscle. Bill need's to talk to my
doctor, waiting on that to happen.
Oh yeah! I know I post alot of nonsense in this group, it's been
part of my recovery, really.
I will post an email I sent to Kris, as well as our reply's.



Updated my yahoo group
also i dont think i posted my stats here 2


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## gwcaton (Apr 17, 2004)

Hi Maria !!!!!!  
Where ya been ?  Missed ya .  Have a great weekend !


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 17, 2004)

yea ive been around. had my 1st week of training w Bill, it was really good. i paid for 16 weeks though but i can use em anytime i want. soo i think im gonna try to do it on my own 4 a while.......bc im an idependent woman! ive started cooking on my own, damnit i needa workout partner if i wanna go heavy! but i did meet thisnew trainer Kim, shes so sweet, she gave me a ride home. I have admire her 2, bc all these reasons. but i dont have time to type alot right now. 
thanx gar, u have a good weekend 2


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 17, 2004)

*something i posted in my group along time ago, when i made it/started training*

What drives me to Compete

	My father loves sports, and has raised me to appreciate all sports and anyone athletic. I was a competitive swimmer when I was younger, so I???ve got a competitive edge?????? It was the middle of my senior year of high school when I got in my first accident, swim season had just ended, and I started working out with my boyfriend. He had to make a left turn and cross two lanes, the first lane stopped and waved him on, so I got hit in the second. Ever since then, my life changed, not only mine, but my family???s.

	 I think I am so blessed to be alive and extremely lucky. When I go to therapy, I see (other patients and) how I could be so I always try my hardest. I want to come back from this and be the best I can be! 

	I???ve been in therapy, for along time to get to where I am today. I???ve also had significant amounts of help, my therapapists, my family, my God, and my determination. I will be receiving a great deal of more help to achieve this goal. I have my brother cook the food I portion out; portioning is a difficult cognitive task for me. He is a chef at a gourmet catering place, so he knows what he???s doing, unlike me. I usually burnt myself or the food I???m trying to make. Diet is so crucial in bodybuilding. I have my trainer, whom I greatly admire. She counts out loud during the set and leads me to the next exercise, among other things she does. 

	At times, I feel ignorant because I can???t do these things on my own, like a ???regular/normal??? bodybuilder does. A ???normal??? person/bodybuilder hasn???t been through what I have.  So what, I can do this because I have the some of the best help to get me there, and I am very determined. This will be a great challenge, but it won???t stop me, nothing has yet.


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 17, 2004)

Part II: What drives me to Compete

I am really frustrated right now and it seems like no one understands. I???ll probably regret posting this...

 Almost everyone in this group says I???m such a fighter and my story is inspirational and blah blah blah blah! I find that funny and surprising at the same time, because I mean none of you REALLY know me. 
Today, I had a talk with my trainer, and she said ???look at how far you???ve come???.???   Maybe she's right; I don???t know.  I???ve forgotten!
I just recently, figured out why I am doing all this- regain my self-confidence! My confidence level was seriously in the negative zone after my accidents. Everything pointed out to me I was going to be stupid and useless the rest of my life, or at least that???s the way I felt. I mean everything/everyone. The results from the neuropsychological tests (those really did it) and people???s manner around me made me feel uncomfortable. My speech was very quiet, monotone, and slow. It took so much effort to make a noise when I first came out of the coma. My speech has come a long way since then. So how did a person act when I spoke? It wasn???t what they did; it was how they did it, their body language.
So I am finally growing up (yeah right, I???m only 20!), or coming out of my ???shell??? as my body changes. I gain a little more confidence every time a stranger talks to me and when I reply, they act like I???m a normal, beautiful woman, with no idea that anything has happened to me. But this also has its frustrating side as well.
A traumatic brain injury is something that I???ll have the rest of my life; it???s just not something that???ll just get better in time until it is gone. I mean it will get somewhat better (I hope anyways). But I???ve accepted that fact and I???m movin??? right along.
Like I said in the groups opening, I have MANY cognitive deficits, meaning I have to think of everything consciously and nothing comes natural anymore. I started driving therapy, AGAIN, on Wednesday???. Everyone is probably thinking ???driving therapy? What???s that for? What???d you forget to drive too???? Well yes, I did! But it???s more than just "where???s the gas and brake???? its directions, depth perception, ect. . It???s a lot to think about, when it doesn???t come natural! Like when I???m about to turn a corner, I have to go through a whole thinking process???Ok, am I close enough to turn on my blinker? Which way do I push the blinker? How much should I slow down? Where???s the corner now? ect. ect.
 It also makes me feel  stupid that I have so much help and I compare myself to others all the time. Over the summer, when I was trying to loose weight on my own, I???d try to cook for myself and cut or burn myself. I have the scares to prove it. So I asked my brother, who???s a chef, to cook my meals every Sunday. I have a personal trainer so I don???t have to think a lot when I workout. Earlier this summer when I didn???t think I needed a trainer yet, I???d get lost in the gym! I would forget what the machines look like and which muscle it works or how to do the exercise!
But as time moves on, thinking about the future in the back of my mind, it is another goal of mine- to live independently, on my own, without a caretaker or man to depend on. I will work on achieving that goal once I have learned to live ???the bodybuilding lifestyle??? all on my own;  (cooking and working out on my own!). 
 I need to keep reminding my self of this (although it is and still going to be very hard). I CAN DO THIS!!!

I hope this changes everyone???s perspective and you realize that we all take little things in life for granted.


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## Monolith (Apr 17, 2004)

Nice post, Chiq.

You're right... it is easy to take things for granted.  I mean, driving a car is just natural to me.  I dont even think about it... the knowledge is just there.  Having to deal with every intricacy would be almost overwhelming for me... in fact, id probably just stop trying.

Hell, i get mad at how long it takes to cook up chicken and rice at the beginning of every week... i don't even consider how nice it is to be able to cook food up whenever i want it.

I know its sort of cliche' to call you inspirational and all that... but you are.  You've got a kind of dedication thats really rare, and even though some of your journal entries waver between confidence and hopelessness, you always make them.  You're always here, always talking out your problems, always consistent, always pushing forward.

I'd say we know you better than you might think.


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 17, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by Monolith *_
> Nice post, Chiq.
> 
> You're right... it is easy to take things for granted.  I mean, driving a car is just natural to me.  I dont even think about it... the knowledge is just there.  Having to deal with every intricacy would be almost overwhelming for me... in fact, id probably just stop trying.
> ...



That sort of thing really really makes me feel good!

I know you know me quite well  my life's an open book, um almost.   My posts maybe sometimes inappropriate, it???s that frontal lobe damage, that???s been reinjured, again! Maybe I???ll post some links on info about TBI and the brain, so you can have a better understanding??????.if you want, tell me.

I know, All People are going to take things for granted, that???s alright, even I do at times. I often get frustrated, things seem so hopeless, and that???s when I make those angry posts.  Then when my posts are the other end of the spectrum, it???s because I???ve made another accomplishment, and I???m only proud of myself, and this is a journal, you write your feelings. You People may think that I???m a dork or something, because you didn???t realize that everything little thing is a big accomplishment for me, maybe I should???ve posted that along time ago. Oh well, I FORGOT. Damn Frontal Lobe damage! 

I believe that keeping a journal has truly helped me. My closest friend is my Sister, and I can???t bitch about everything to her! And um??????ok that???s an incomplete thought there. I forgot what I was gonna say, Damnit! Hate when that happens. Ok I???m going to post this


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 17, 2004)

Ok, I posted a pic of my Sister


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 17, 2004)

yea whatsa labotomy? i forgot.


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 17, 2004)

*Meds/Supplements*

Maria Andreu's Meds			4/17/2004							
								Supplements		
AM										
ortho tri cyclen			birth control					4 mass aminos		Beverly International
Adderall XR	   30mg		Attention					L-Glutamine		1000mg
Straterra	40mg		Attention					2 multi-vitamins		
Wellbutrin	 150mg		Depression					Milk Thistle		280mg
1/2 Provigil	200mg=100mg		Alertness							
Reminyl	 4mg		Memory supplement ~ prescribed							
Clarinex	 5mg		Sinuses/Allergy							

put glutamine + milk thistle in pill box										





NOON										
Adderall XR								Ginseng		Nature's Best
Straterra								Ginko Biloboa		GinkoGold
1/2 Provigil 										

put Supps in pill box										





PM										
Seroquel	100mg							Glutamine		
Lexapro	10mg									

put Supp in pill Box


i put it in separate columns in word but their all together here


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## Monolith (Apr 17, 2004)

Hey, i've taken a lot of those supps/meds myself, before.  

Well... not the birth control. 

BTW, cute pic, supergirl.


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## gwcaton (Apr 18, 2004)

Morning Maria ! 

Did my pm about the avatars make any sense ? Hope so.  Do you have a pic you want to use ?  If worse comes to worse I could do it for you , but I know you would rather do it on your own.


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 18, 2004)

> Hey, i've taken a lot of those supps/meds myself, before.


really?



> Morning Maria ! Did my pm about the avatars make any sense ? Hope so. Do you have a pic you want to use ? If worse comes to worse I could do it for you , but I know you would rather do it on your own.


 yea i would rather do it on my own........but im so damn slow, it takes me 4ever to figure out everything, on my own. can i just email the pic to u? i have 1


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 18, 2004)

yea so im sitting here waiting on my 15dollar cab to the gym, and im so pissed! y is this so fukin hard 4 me.
 im all stressed out from cooking 4today, and my aunts coming in town today.
i so much to think about!


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## greekblondechic (Apr 18, 2004)

it'll be ok sweetheart. do u make lists often to help u remember stuff?


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 18, 2004)

of course! they taught me that in therapy......post more later


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 18, 2004)

CEREBRAL CORTEX 

Frontal Lobe: Most anterior, right under the forehead.

Functions:

How we know what we are doing within our environment (Consciousness). 
How we initiate activity in response to our environment. 
Judgments we make about what occurs in our daily activities. 
Controls our emotional response. 
Controls our expressive language. 
Assigns meaning to the words we choose. 
Involves word associations. 
Memory for habits and motor activities. 

Observed Problems:

Loss of simple movement of various body parts (Paralysis). 
my right side (even tho i was right handed be4) 
Inability to plan a sequence of complex movements needed to complete multi-stepped tasks, such as making coffee (Sequencing). 
Loss of spontaneity in interacting with others. 
Loss of flexibility in thinking. 
Persistence of a single thought (Perseveration). 
Inability to focus on task (Attending). 
Mood changes (Emotionally Labile). 
Changes in social behavior. 
Changes in personality. 
yes including mood swings 
Difficulty with problem solving. 
Inablility to express language (Broca's Aphasia). 
Parietal Lobe: near the back and top of the head.

ok so nobody asked me about info on TBI, and the brain
but o well! im posting it! just like i do 4everything else
this is MY JOURNAL


so look at that! i am a fucking MIRACLE! and what im doing is IMPOSSIBLE!

o theres other problems 2!(yea ill probly regret posing that) but o well!


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 18, 2004)

*eww!*

im in the worst mood today. all day


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 18, 2004)

i did chest n calves earlier, on my own, nobody but a few jocks in the gym, i used to be intimidated by em, but now its like quit checkin me out, im here to getta workout in........but im not even prouda myself.
i must have some major PMS or something bc every lil thing is annoying me!
i feel so lonesome sometimes. i cook all my own food that i buy separate and i dont eat w my family, i eat my meals.......its like they dont even ask anymore, they know i have my own meals. Damnit its going to be soo much better (4 bbing) when i move out! which'll be like never!!!!
i cook all my food everyday, my family and friends just grab shit and go! i never sit at the table n eat the food theyre eating.
 i get my meals that i cook and come back to my desk and eat while i read a bb article or go in the yahoo bb chat. ok i used to be disgusted by bbs ina way, but now im like 1 of them! 
My Whole Life is Bodybuilding! have i become a freak or something?
my family and I went to see a councelor awhile back, when i was going to start cutting....she kept saying how i needed Balance in my life. n my dad spoke up and was like yea thats great but she can only focus on so much. i might go see her again soon w just me n her.
 whata shitty sunday!


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## gwcaton (Apr 19, 2004)

Hi Gorgeous ! 

Sorry you had a bad day . 

Today will be better , right ? Right !


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## gwcaton (Apr 19, 2004)

I see you got your avatar !!!!  Yeah !!!!!


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 19, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by gwcaton *_
> I see you got your avatar !!!!  Yeah !!!!!


 yea yea yea! 
 but the avatars dont move anymore i had 1 up there w wonderwoman flying towards u. it was neato, but i changed it to that 1 bc she doesnt move and has muscular legs
 yea so  now that im getting better! ill try to start posting workouts maybe, ooh ooh i made chicken this morning w Lite Teryiaki sauce n tomorrows w lite italian dressing mmmm its pretty damn tasty i ate all this really bad food 2 on friday, i went to my sisters best friends 40th birthday party, n this guy grilled all this food + i had 2 peices of tiramasu!omg! 

my aunt sat n watched me do all the cooking this morning n she was like WoW. hehe made me feel good

okay attentions spent n i gotta finish eating.


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 20, 2004)

*The New and Improved Maria Andreu*

I have come such a long way! and the bodybuilding lifestyle has helped SO MUCH! this goal like phyched me out before, i thought i could Never do it. 

i mean u know those people in the gym that really have no idea how to workout. I didnt, and NOW im even able to notice people doing it wrong

rite after my accident, i wasnt all together at all cognitively.....(still not some days) i admire all serious people in the gym, and for along time i just did cardio @gold's but had a session w Kris before. when i did cardio, id wear just a sportsbra on the eliptical , i mean i was loosing weight and damn proud of it! but now its like im not cut enough or big enuf and i dont look how i want to, so i cover up mostly. and when i did cardio(a few months id like smile and "eye" all the guys, that didnt pay me any attention bc they were into their workout.

 Im figuring things out on my own!  machines, excersises ect. i used to follow a trainer around and go thru the motions(sort of, i lost over 50lbs doing it!) 

Now I'm a big girl! i was a child be4. it has been a hard, LONG, SLOW road getting here.......i still have a ways to go! but all in time


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 20, 2004)

April 20, 2004

Post for Maria! Hi folks what an awesome group!! I am ???Maria the Wonder Woman???s??? Aunt and I call her my Miracle Woman because she has survived and struggled thru the impossible. The Lord wants this young woman to be here with us, we almost lost her twice! She is an inspiration to all who know her or have contact with her. I am visiting from Washington, DC, I saw Maria at Christmas for five days. Wow! Has she grown and changed. She is now able to cook all her own meals shop for food and stay on a much disciplined diet even though we had a peanut butter fudge cycle last night as we walked Chiquita. IT WAS SUGAR-FREE!!! by maria 


Maria is displaying more organizing skills A THING U LOOSE AFTER A TBI and is really growing each day toward independence. Her speech is clearer and she is pronouncing words much better. Maria experiences lots of mood swings, she is better able to recognize these and if she hurts another???s feelings she able to later come and say the very hard words. Which we humans all have trouble saying ???I am Sorry???!! 
Maria is now able to walk and keep up with the fast moving legs of her dog Chiquita! 4 Months ago she was unable to keep up. Her bodybuilding is awesome and I am so happy to see enjoying the activity I too love the gym and only wish I had started early working on my muscles. I would be so much stronger for the sports I enjoy. I???m also encouraging Maria to swim again she was a state champ before her accidents; she is a fish in the water. I think the Masters team would enjoy her. I am just so proud of Maria I had to Post a note. To all, take care and keep up the good work. Marguerite


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 21, 2004)

whoa!  i think im kinda understanding what every1 tells me ......finally!

 i guess/assume im like this "inspirational icon" and i really touch every1 i come in contact with! this feels really awesome!  

like ohmigosh!!! I AM SO AWESOME!!! 
 ok im getting a big head here, but i cant help it!


 now i think of what people have said to me in the past(ive been compared to Lance Armstrong be4 )......n i reread some of ur replys when i 1st made this journal,:

yea im really slow 4 everything to hit me, but it has gotten lil better(than it was).....but i will never just catch rite on to things how i once maybe did.

 Today, i was @therapy in my dr's office, Dr. Thomas Murray, "my miracle man", i saw him coming out of a room w a patient, i went kissed him hello n told him he looked great (he had on a nice gray suit, i usually see him in scrubs and a lab coat) he walked me to the room w the HBOT chambers and told me 2 tell the 2student nurses "my story" and said i was his miracle bc of HBOT. i told him i was going to be his poster-child for HBOT, they recently did a commercial or some informational thingee for it.

he usually wouldnt have asked me or i wouldnt have been able to  tell it like i did. be4 HE would told it to whoever. I sort of told my story like i did at the beginning of this journal, adding some, didnt say it word4word but i actually remembered it!

 i am also a very animated person now(like i was be4 my accidents in a way) 
 right after i came out of the coma, i barely could make a noise, and I NEVER made a facial xpression, for months, my best friend even told me it was like her best friend had died, I had a different attitude then, sometimes i wished i had died. 

last yr at the beach w my aunt, i smiled about something, she said it was so nice to see me smile, she was overjoyed i finally could smile.......i didnt understand, y she missed seeing me smile.

This morning @the gym, i did arms, i actually knew to work triceps first instead of biceps first, i think Kris xplained it was the bigger muscle over n over again like every time we did arms, now its kindof just clicking.
im also like 1 of those hot bb chicks that knows what theyre doing! @the gym.

 the whole FITNESS INDUSTRY really really intimidated me be4 bc i was fat n felt stupid and ugly and wished i had died in those accidents(preferably the 1st one), 
*Now its like I fit in w it!*


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## gwcaton (Apr 21, 2004)

Yeah Maria !!!!!


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## gwcaton (Apr 23, 2004)

Good Morning Sweetie !


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 23, 2004)

*My Battles w Temper Tantrums*

Ok I made a post lastnite when this happened but I forgot to do it in word n it didn???t work  




 I had a busy day yesterday, I spent all morning at the gym, went home ate, didn???t even shower, went to therapy, went in the chamber late so got out late, late4hair apt.
 My sister picked me up from therapy and took me 2 her girl, got it highlighted and shaped different??????.made me feel good, I forgot all about asking her to take me to the store bc she told me she needed to go home and go 4 her run n stuff.  So I came home and got on my computer ?????????.then @800pm I remembered I didn???t have any meals 4 today. Got my neighbor to take me grocery shopping bc my dad/his gf and my aunt were playing golf still??????started cooking @9ish, everything was going smoothly but I all that cooking/cleaning shit is stressful4me to begin w + it was late, I usually cook in the middle of the day, when no1s home.

When I???m stressed, my attitude gets real short w every1?????????I was in the middle of
 cutting up my meat, Everything???s a  thinking process for me, I had to concentrate on that. My dad came in to make the coffee and started distracting me.  
he asked me all these questions,???y do u have this attitude, what has any1 here done to u???? I not so calmly tried to explain that it was late and cooking/cleaning is stressful. He???s never around, so it???s nice and quiet when I cook/grocery shop usually?????????..he goes something like, ???u ought to enjoy some of this, This is a healthy thing I???m doing but y do u want this when it stresses u out so much??? I told him he doesn???t see me at the gym n stuff, he continued to ask/distract.  

After a few minutes, I stormed to my room slammed the door, came out 2 minutes later, stormed back in and was like ???y do u have to be all up in my face asking me questions???? I pointed to scars on my arms, ???I???m cutting up my f__n chicken dad! Do u want me to hurt myself???? I stormed out the back door, (11pm)walked thru my neighborhood, in tank top and boxers, 2 blocks to the river, laid there on the concrete edge. Right across the river is downtown n the stadium and bridges so all the lights reflect on the water, I looked up at the stars 4thirty minutes and I walked back, they???re repaving my street and I was barefooted, but I???m getting a pedicure w my aunt today, that???ll make it feel better.

I got home and my aunt/dad were waiting on me, 1st thing I said was ???I???m not gonna talk about this tonight, so just gone on to bed.??? I started to put my meals up, I guess my brother had finished cutting my chicken 4me, the dishes were done. I told my dad to wipe off the table, I was going to bed.

I haven???t had a tantrum like this in a long time; they???ve gotten a lot better. They use to be over ridiculously stupid little things, and I would slap/hit my dad, throw dining room chairs around, slam doors repeatedly. It wasn???t very good on my mom???s nerves, she was sick. I feel bad now when I think about how I treated her, but I was in a different stage of recovery then.


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 26, 2004)

stressful weekend...........ok i made that postabout thursday nite, friday, i dont remember, Saturday.........i signed up for CPR class along time ago bc i thought i was gonna be a personal trainer but i doubt i can remember all the muscles. i get lost in the gym 1/2 the time, how am i spose2 bring some1 else through a workout?
 it was long and boring, it was my 1st test ive taken(besides medically) since my 2nd accident........the class was adult/child/infant/first aid. it came time for the first test, i was totally Freaking out! the teacher saw me n my facial expression, n led me to another room, i told her i was nervous, and told my story, she asked the dates and was really understanding. i was bawling those were the hardest 10-15 questions. its not that i couldnt remember, i was distracted by the thought of a TEST. i think i really am kinda smart.
She took me to lunch, since i said id have to getta cab n we talked alot. she said shes amazed @me, she works w patients w tbi all the time, shes a trauma nurse or something. i only missed 1 on all the tests. i feel so stupid i made a big deal out of a really easy thing.

sorry most of my posts r so dramatic, i feel alil embarrassed when i read em. i usually write them right after whatever happens n it seems that much worse right then, like that last post. i made a post right after this happened, luckily it didnt work. u gotta remember, EVERYTHINGS a thinking process

this is a journal, im just venting my feelings at the moment 
 i come back later n read it, n say "wow that was dumb, no wonder no1 responded." altho i think that sometimes, u dont know what to say


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 26, 2004)

o yea! Sunday.....imy sister took me on a shopping trip to orlando my 
we had some bonding "sister" talks on the drive down. it was nice. i needed alot of new clothes since i lost all the weight i did, and im goin on that big trip! i love my sister! shes my personal fashion coordinator, i cant pick anything out anymore! im like "whatever"

it was soo nice, to fit in  regular sized clothes again! everytime i pass by Lane Bryant, now. ithink "ha! i *used*  to wear plus-sized clothes!"
im so cocky now..........in the dressing room, my sister was handing me the clothes to try on and hanging em up, she would laugh at me everytime i put something on and struck a pose. 

omg my diet has been terrible! i didnt cook anything this weekend!
 i went to the cheesecake factory! had a pesto chicken pizza, and a whole peice of heathbar coffee cheesecake which had a ton of REAL whipped cream!  omg it was so good! but i cooked again today.

but i forgot to do cardio


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 26, 2004)

*Wonder Woman's no drama journal......ok maybe a lil*

* OK, I am so Over Myself!*

I  go back and read the old posts in my other journal and u guys are really supportive but if u get to know the Real me, I am so NOT like how I sounded! I guess bc everything is a thinking process, at least until I get used to it??????..*but its like that For Everyone* right? I probably seemed like a Drama Queen and then some??????I usually wrote the posts like right after whatever would happen, and so id sound like all stressed out but whatever it was, really WAS NOT a big deal. You people deal with it all the time. I am not special!

Bodybuilders /(people that have competed) are no better than any1else, _at least not in the kind of way I thought u were!_  but bc that goal seemed so impossible for Me to achieve (and still sometimes does) I would try that much harder! * Bodybuilding is a hard thing for everyone!*

Not Every Bodybuilder cooks ALL their food! But Kris did, my old trainer(she competes)  so I thought i had2, if i didnt i would never be able to compete if i didnt!  Grocery shopping gets expensive! And cooking is a hard task! That???s right, 4 everyone! So my diet???s gonna be lil worse mmmmmmmmm


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 28, 2004)

ok i made another journal w that last post, but i think im just gonna stick w this 1


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## gwcaton (Apr 28, 2004)




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## Monolith (Apr 28, 2004)




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## chiquita6683 (Apr 28, 2004)

i just puked my protein pancakes an hr ago, i think thats all it was..........bad eggwhites, im scheduled w Bill tonite @6or630. im wondering how ill feel, ill go anyways to talk to him, hes leaving tomorrow for a trip hes gotta take for work for 2months.


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 29, 2004)

had2 go to the ER lastnite, dehydrated, had dry heaves ect.
my diets been liquids n crackers all day, im ready for real food! told bill i would stay outa the gym till at least monday
 i feel so weak!

last time i went to the ER i was fat, i wasnt *self concious * or anything when the cute dr  had to listen to my lungs on the back open gown or touch my abdomen  it feels so nice to be in shape!


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## gwcaton (Apr 30, 2004)

Hi Sweetheart !

You take care of yourself.  But i must say that you must be feeling pretty good even though you were in the ERif you had the presence of mind to check out the cute Dr. !    

Have a good weekend !


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 30, 2004)

baby u know how much of a flirt i am! never missa stud


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 30, 2004)

posted a new pic


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 30, 2004)

My diet has been so shitty! ive only had 1 protein shake ever since i can have whole foods. i ordered a thin crust cheese pizza tonite 
 be4 i got sick my diet was super freaky clean, almost, im not in the mood to cook anything either
  my trainings gonna suk next week 2


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## gwcaton (Apr 30, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> baby u know how much of a flirt i am! never missa stud



LMAO !!!!   You are amazing.


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## Sapphire (Apr 30, 2004)




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## chiquita6683 (Apr 30, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by gwcaton *_
> LMAO !!!!   You are amazing.



o and y is that so funny?

hey saphire! how u doin gurly?!


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## gwcaton (Apr 30, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> o and y is that so funny?
> 
> hey saphire! how u doin gurly?!



Maria,  I can just picture the doc examining you and you "examing" him !!!!  The doc was a lucky guy have a gorgeous young lady like you checking him out !


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## chiquita6683 (Apr 30, 2004)

lmao! thats so sweet its funny, so true!
 goodnite!


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## chiquita6683 (May 1, 2004)

mmm i never tried it this way
 i made a protein shake, vanilla muscle provider, 4 cubesa ice, lil cran-grape juice, lil diet sierra mist


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## chiquita6683 (May 1, 2004)

yea i havent figured out how to link people to a different thread but i posted this in the training forum under a thread started by flex whining/bitching about his right/left side being unsymmetrical to his other 1....   
 this is what i said......

 Post #7 

yea, every1s bigger/stronger on 1 side! ur all freaks!!!! u no what?! this is just a huge pile of horse shit!!!! no even worse!

i was right handed be4 my accidents, i had to learn how to use my left hand!i had to write for sschool to finish my senior yr! 

and THEN during my goal assessments w my trainers, they were like yea yea everybody has a side thats weaker naturally



id try to explain to them, that right after my 1st accident...i felt like i had a stroke or something! the hand was dead weight! and i had to learn to write w it!!!!
i use to dread chest workouts w my 1st trainer bc when i had to do flat db press my right side would be soo hard to get my right arm up and straighten my elbow! 

gawd damn its like no1 understands!  

sorry i had 2 vent some here, damnit life is so unfair! read my jounal to see y im bitching


sorry flex u werent whining or bitching. but im venting here!


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## Mudge (May 1, 2004)

*Re: oh yea! btw~*



> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> somebody needs to tell me that i can do this or that im on the rite track



 You're doing great.


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## chiquita6683 (May 1, 2004)

thanx mudge! 
 anyway up in that post  i posted in the training forum there were alot of these faces.........
   
 so i think im going to bed now, pissed at the world, again......but what else is new


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## chiquita6683 (May 1, 2004)

*Re: Re: oh yea! btw~*



> _*Originally posted by Mudge *_
> You're doing great.


 mudge was oyea btw~ in this journal or another forum?


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## greekblondechic (May 1, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> but now its like quit checkin me out, im here to getta workout in...



 you're such a funny girl chiqy!


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## gwcaton (May 2, 2004)

Good Morning  Gorgeous !  

Give 'em hell girl !


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## atherjen (May 2, 2004)

Hows your weekend going Chiq?


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## Sandra (May 2, 2004)

Just gotta say your story is incredible....its truly has inspired me.  I read it for the 1st time lastnight...thanks to mudge....and I thought about it all night.  I was so inspired this morning when I woke up that I went right to the gym hehe!!  Keep up the good work!  You are truly blessed!!!


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## chiquita6683 (May 2, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by atherjen *_
> Hows your weekend going Chiq?



 its going ok i guess. yesterday i got my new glasses w my sister and a new memory card for my digital, itll be handy on my trip.

but today im all dressed up in my new clothes and i look good, i know it and i feel good. but 'im all dressed up and got nowhere to go!' 
 it sux not being able to drive


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## chiquita6683 (May 2, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by Sandra *_
> Just gotta say your story is incredible....its truly has inspired me.  I read it for the 1st time lastnight...thanks to mudge....and I thought about it all night.  I was so inspired this morning when I woke up that I went right to the gym hehe!!  Keep up the good work!  You are truly blessed!!!



thank you very much!
im not trying to inspire people, im just living my life the best way it can be lived, it has apparently given alot of inspiration to people from all over...........*sigh*, the internet is a beautiful thing


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## chiquita6683 (May 2, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by gwcaton *_
> Good Morning  Gorgeous !
> 
> Give 'em hell girl !




hehehe!


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## chiquita6683 (May 2, 2004)

*im really bored*

here is some love to all my friends and supporters!

http://http://albinoblacksheep.com/flash/kiss.php 

no 4reeltho, i am really affectionate in person!


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## greekblondechic (May 2, 2004)

i feel your pain girl, i was wearin this cute outfit last night and my friends didnt wanna go anywhere! sucks!!!

aww thanks for the kiss back! i started a mini trend i see LOL


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## chiquita6683 (May 2, 2004)

i have this posted on my reigerator
http://www.fbbworld.com/showarticle.jsp?id=11&no=4


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## Monolith (May 2, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> i have this posted on my reigerator
> http://www.fbbworld.com/showarticle.jsp?id=11&no=4



Damn, she's huge.


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## chiquita6683 (May 2, 2004)

*i love my sister!*

guess what just happened this afternoon?!
 iwas all down, bc i was haveing a cute day but all couckd up in my house, bc i dont drive, and every1else is off playing golf ect ect

but .....my sister(my personal fashion coordinator/best friend) came over to do my pills 4 the week, when she was doing em i asked her to take A picture of me, to post on here.

well to my surprise, it turned into like this  photo shoot almost, it totally cheered me up!
+ i had just got all these cute outfits from when me and her took a shopping trip to orlando, fl ect!
 she should be a photographer! ive never modeled or been in a photo shoot, but i could  tell that thats something shes good doing! she told me just how to pose or run her hands thru my hair be4 she would take the picture. it made me feel so good and beautiful! 

the pictures r great! ill become an elite member as soon as i crop the pictures n everything. 
but remember that i just had food poisoning thursday and i havent been in the gym since wednesday + ive been eating all this crap, i went to a sports bar lastnite w my family


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## chiquita6683 (May 2, 2004)

http://us.f1f.yahoofs.com/bc/5eb60527/bc/The+Sisters.jpg?bf._WlAB9CS5QQ9x 
 i posted a picture of my sister and I


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## chiquita6683 (May 2, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by Monolith *_
> Damn, she's huge.


yea, its not like i like her/admire her its just the thing she said about women. i dont totally agree w the last part tho, "its bc 2many women allow THAT to happen" i printed it out and cut around it and its on a clip magnet


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## Monolith (May 2, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> http://us.f1f.yahoofs.com/bc/5eb60527/bc/The+Sisters.jpg?bf._WlAB9CS5QQ9x
> i posted a picture of my sister and I



pic doesnt work for me 

can you upload it to IM?


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## chiquita6683 (May 2, 2004)

i tried to earlier but it wouldnt work, its just the same pic i posted of her earlier, photo moments r rare w my sister


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## chiquita6683 (May 2, 2004)

sorry i tried again monolith......ive been fixing those photos she took this afternoon, i just upgraded to elite member, im waiting 4 the email from ironmag.

in the pics i post, u gotta realize that i havent been in the gym since wednesday, was in the ER thursday nite, had pizza friday. went to a sportsbar saturday nite, and have been eating stuff i didnt cook all weekend.....wait o yea! i did have protein pancakes this morning and other stuff. didnt finish em tho 
whoa, i remembered that!

guess my appetites gotta build back..........omg i havent even thought about what my workouts gonna be tomorrow

i know my aunts gonna take me to HBOT@10, then we're gonna go to the gym together after that. itll be an exciting xperience 4 my aunt, shes so cute! shell probly get all excited and just be beside herself on the eliptical machine or something.

 i wonder if im gonna feel like doin cardio(i usually do 30mins all the time, relax guys girls r different, rite jen?) 

maybe i can go swimming to impress my aunt(nobody ever gets in the pool besides if theres a class)and the pool sux 4 real swimmers! theres not even a clock, how r u spose 2 do a set w no clock! i have done it by my watch be4, but its just not as conveinant.........
 i doubt ill swim or do cardio anyways.


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## chiquita6683 (May 2, 2004)

k i posted some pics i did this afternoon
 my sister is such a good photographer! that reminds me, i gotta post 1 of me n her!


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## chiquita6683 (May 3, 2004)

good morning every1!
   by the time i finished w the pics lastnite ect. i got in my beddybye @130am, after i took my nite meds.
  then i got up to go poddy@6am, then i been layin around till 730. damnit i hate it when i should be sleeping longer but i cant, im sure sleepll increase once i start training again, i hope.
damn im starving! maybe ill check every1elses journal entry if theres time be4 therapy


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## gwcaton (May 3, 2004)

Morning sweetie !  I'm headed for the gym. talk to you later


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## Jill (May 3, 2004)

Your pics look great, you are very photogenic!

 Nice 'guns!'


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## chiquita6683 (May 3, 2004)

hey gary, hey jill, whats day 1 of?


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## Jill (May 3, 2004)

Day 1 of 'getting back on track' with emotional eating. I have binge issues


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## gwcaton (May 3, 2004)

> quote:
> Originally posted by chiquita6683
> 
> hey sweety! howsit hangin? i mean, um er
> ...





Hi Babe ! I enjoy your cockiness so don't worry just be you ! xoxoxo


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## ProBodyFitness (May 3, 2004)

Babe your awesome!! Thanks for all the words of encouragement, wish I could have been their for you through your tough times when you with me and encouraging me to be that better person.  Bodybuilding is my new passion with my girlfriend, and thanks to you, you have been a big encouragement in my life.  Lots of love and prayers go to you girl!  Best of luck and wishes!  Pat


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## chiquita6683 (May 3, 2004)

damnit! i shoulda been wearin my glasses! thats y i gotta headache! 
goin 2 sleep, medsll be kickin in in awhile........i need to go find my old headache medicine, that my doc gave me right after the accident.


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## chiquita6683 (May 3, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by ProBodyFitness *_
> Babe your awesome!! Thanks for all the words of encouragement, wish I could have been their for you through your tough times when you with me and encouraging me to be that better person.  Bodybuilding is my new passion with my girlfriend, and thanks to you, you have been a big encouragement in my life.  Lots of love and prayers go to you girl!  Best of luck and wishes!  Pat [/
> 
> 
> ...


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## chiquita6683 (May 3, 2004)

damnit i still dint put my glasses on! 
ah well, 200am!


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## gwcaton (May 4, 2004)

Morning  Maria !


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## chiquita6683 (May 4, 2004)

*morning!*


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## chiquita6683 (May 4, 2004)

Ummmmmmmmmmmm...........................i THINK its~

something bout im very beautiful? or easy?  idk!

*ok make this window big, now, ..............
damnit how do i xplain this 1? im doin it w my email, comprende? 

click quote in the corner, then hilite, copy, then go to my journal, 


http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/s...;threadid=25280 


and paste it! voila!


ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ok maybe i need2gOver myself! 

Oh and post this 2 plz 



____________________________





Report Post  |    

 Today 11:58 PM           


ud.......Si^ yo practico me espanol 

*Rolleyes*right after my accident i had forgotten most/all Spanish, i had taken 3-4yrs of it in hs
*dont member my classes my senior yr!
   BUT it slowly came back! Thanx2 Dr. Thomas Murray, MD?(do i put md after dr?) and His HBOT chamber! 




*givin him more bizzness.......oh and ur really cool friend 
that got ina accident when he was really young but hes like OK now, ya no? *he nos who he is *flutters eyelashes
~yea Their like partial Owners, and like almost related, Godbrothers or something!

hey, hey! Maybe I Can get my Own!...........omg then ill hafta like open My Own Center, fulla chambers! so rich people w nothing else to do Can Do it 2! yano, bc its really healthy!*
But Ill hafta marry a rich Man or somethin!!!!! or no Maybe this bookll "inspire" the rich people

*turns and blushes, UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM


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## V Player (May 4, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by Metal V Player *_
> Ai chiquita....no tienes que explicar. Como disen en ingles? "you go wit yo' bad self!"






> _*Originally posted by Metal V Player *_
> Sure. Anything for a lady. A quien es muy amable y ala mejor muy linda. Exactly how do I do this?





> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> Ummmmmmmmmmmm...........................i THINK its~
> 
> something bout im very beautiful? or easy?  idk!
> ...





> _*Originally posted by Metal V Player *_
> No. Definately not easy. But you have the rest right. And Spanish IS the most romantic language in the world. Anyone who has ever had the pleasure of listening to a love song in Spanish will agree with me. Its not just in the words, its the way the language rolls with the emphasis and accents on different parts of the words that English just does not have. Some are enough to make a man cry. And yes, I have.


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## chiquita6683 (May 4, 2004)

Originally posted by Metal V Player 
No. Definately not easy. But you have the rest right. And Spanish IS the most romantic language in the world. Anyone who has ever had the pleasure of listening to a love song in Spanish will agree with me. Its not just in the words, its the way the language rolls with the emphasis and accents on different parts of the words that English just does not have. Some are enough to make a man cry. And yes, I have. 

awwwwwwww! thats so sweet! U really are OK, u no that playa? (addressed to Metal V)*blush* 
 i no ill prolly reget my use of slang later in life, like all "Upity" A-dults (i say it ahdults in person, but shorter!)[that got somethin up their crotch if their females, or somethin up their azz if their males!] haha im only 20, member? thats Dos-Cero! 
*turns n blushes*look metal!


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## chiquita6683 (May 4, 2004)

k omg ive had Sucha FUNKIN FANTASTIC DAY!!!!!!!! i got all this shit to tell u, but ima read others journals first!*cause my dad just made me feel kinda bad............
 but its bout therapy 2day AND My trip to the grocery store.*flutters eyelashes* eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!<xcitement!
.........o yea now i feel bad kinna ONLY cause My Father loves me! n hes gotta protect me!
n i said like all this negative shit bc............idk


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## chiquita6683 (May 4, 2004)

o yea! my dad wanted me to take my meds BUT i was on the computer be4 therapy n i forgot to take my meds. BUT I wanted to lay down n rest, SO I DO WHAt I SAY Im GONNA DO, and that was that!

oh yeah, he called be4 i started typing that n he was just reminding me take em! *gawd i luvim! 






no! BUT U NO WHAT!!!!!!!! I am not going to take my meds!!!!!!!!!
so HA!!!!! just today!*


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## chiquita6683 (May 4, 2004)

(yea yea yea Dad, i no ur my FATHER n All That!*rollseyes*)


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## chiquita6683 (May 4, 2004)

k now im gonna post somea My Special Post! (a post is a journal entry)


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## chiquita6683 (May 4, 2004)

o yea! i was gonna do mail, Ill do that AFTA~Arnold Swarzenager Voice


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## chiquita6683 (May 4, 2004)

o yea! i was gonna do mail, Ill do that AFTA~Arnold Swarzenager Voice


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## V Player (May 4, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> awwwwwwww! thats so sweet! U really are OK, u no that playa? (addressed to Metal V)*blush*
> 
> *turns n blushes*look metal!


*Bows*


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## chiquita6683 (May 4, 2004)

oops! already did that 1


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## chiquita6683 (May 4, 2004)

*Bows* yay!:kiss*


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## chiquita6683 (May 4, 2004)

MY Aunt just got back from her Run, and is Now doing Yoga stretches, On Her Own!
AND I'm eating of course!!!

OOH OOH!!!!!!!!! I'm Editing This 4 The First Time!


o yea did i mention shes listening to Classical?


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## chiquita6683 (May 4, 2004)

*Johnny*

could u post that Email? yea Pat emailed me but didnt post it bc um yea Whatever


***he doesnt have the confeedance2~tries to do a french accent

bc All Bodybuilders should Rule the world!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
yea j/k!


Pats gotta member I AM Only Dos-Cero! and i gottalotta Brain Damage!  AND.......I almost died Twice

*um yea ill reply to those remarks IN THE FUTURE!!!!!
yea after a few yrs ill forget OR its just not "Upity"


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## chiquita6683 (May 4, 2004)

i am so damn cute! *flutters eyelashes*
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!!!!!!!!! *kinna scrunches up*


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## chiquita6683 (May 4, 2004)

*tell YOU later, uh Yes i mean U*

like omg im so mad rite now!!!!!!! N I have all these things running thru my head right now! But my hands bleeding and holy shit!!!!!! And my neibors cutting their lawn???..ok it stopped.huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuok u get it uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!


 anywayz!!!!!!!!!! Damnit he stops/goes n it???s driving me CRAZY! LIKE ABSOLUTELY INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE TOTALLY Fucking insane!!!!!!!!!!!

Damnit there it goes again!!!!!!


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## chiquita6683 (May 4, 2004)

ok Whoa, like huge mood swing there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## greekblondechic (May 4, 2004)

lol silly girl.. i hate when my neighbors make too much noise!


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## david (May 4, 2004)

Hi chiquita!!!

Told ya I drop in on ya!  If you wanna get rid of that lawnmower... just take some gasoline  and light up his lawn!    He'll never had to mow for the summertime!

Or, just buy ear plugs!


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## chiquita6683 (May 4, 2004)

David posta Fucking Pic!!!!!!!!!!!
jk!
btw du know i was in jax?! 
yea Up in hea


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## chiquita6683 (May 4, 2004)

im really sorry DAVID ........from the bottom of My FUCKING HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok u get none, u got Nonea my luuuvvvIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## david (May 4, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> David posta Fucking Pic!!!!!!!!!!!
> jk!
> btw du know i was in jax?!
> yea Up in hea




Picture of me??  That's easy, their in my website!    Wait, you've been there.  You did see them correct?

Yes, I know your in Jax.  How is the nightlife?  What do you do for fun?


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## david (May 4, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> im really sorry DAVID ........from the bottom of My FUCKING HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok u get none, u got Nonea my luuuvvvIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




   Did I miss something??


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## chiquita6683 (May 4, 2004)

OK LIKE SOME1 THAT IS REALLLYYY Real SOOOOOOO SUPER DUPER SMART...........like Cum n Rescue ME *underline ME*
AND MAKE IT ALL FUCKING BETTER 4 ME!!!!!!!!!!!!
*um yea, preferably a male~rather large, MUSCLES, omg I Fucking Luuuuuuv Muscles


omg k lemme turn off my fan , bc I AM KOLD like ddddddddeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmm
U stupid MothaFuka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## chiquita6683 (May 4, 2004)

im really sorry DAVID ........from the bottom of My FUCKING HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok u get none, u got Nonea my luuuvvvIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## greekblondechic (May 4, 2004)

hon r u ok?


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## david (May 4, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by chiquita6683 *_
> OK LIKE SOME1 THAT IS REALLLYYY Real SOOOOOOO SUPER DUPER SMART...........like Cum n Rescue ME *underline ME*
> AND MAKE IT ALL FUCKING BETTER 4 ME!!!!!!!!!!!!
> *um yea, preferably a male~rather large, MUSCLES, omg I Fucking Luuuuuuv Muscles
> ...




I can't see you having any problems finding a Muscle guy!  You seem rather built yourself.  Impressive pictures!!!  Now, why the "Stupid MothaFuka" comment??


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## Monolith (May 4, 2004)

Hey Chiquita... you doin alright, hon?


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## gwcaton (May 5, 2004)

Morning sweetie !  how's it going today ?


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## chiquita6683 (May 5, 2004)

BAHAHAH:FUNNY: DAVID Baby *FLUTTERS EYELASES


no I am the Stupid Motha Fuka


* DONT WORRY......... IM GONNA FUGIN TAKE MY MEDS 

BUT WHEN I GET TO THE FUKIN DRS OFFICE, IN FRONTA THE DR!
dr murray i fuckin luv his azz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im Fukn soooooooGREATGarybaby!
hey u know what????????

Some LOSER fukin neighbors........thought i Was On Drugs!!!!!

and yea my dad just Yelld @me Again<underline that Shit
and my cottage chz spoiled on my desk
from lastnite
and OKAY hes like really Nervous
and itsabout no it is 941
we gotta be there by 10 

i forgot


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## gwcaton (May 6, 2004)

Hey Gorgeous !  Where ya been today ? You ok ?


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## gwcaton (May 9, 2004)

Did I miss something ? are you on a vacation or something ?   Wher ya been ?   Just giving ya a hard time !


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## chiquita6683 (May 13, 2004)

*I'm Back (kinda)*

omg im so sorry bout all those last posts and pms

Ive made some really bad desicions in my life, and Im not proud of them. 

I had a nervous breakdown @my drs office, he called 911, I was Baker Acted into the phsych ward, from the ER.

I learned alot, I was in for a week and a day. That place is so sad, I definitely grew up...........more than I already have.
I have a new appreciation for life, and everything that happens in it. I spoke with some of the other patients, inspired a few, almost everyone in there was at a turning point in their life. Its not a place where crazy people go. I mean yea, some are crazy.

The nurses got to know me, they love me. 
I have alot of support which I am so thankful for. 
Now as for my future........ 
Bodybuilding will definitely be on hold. 

Shortly, I will be admitted to the Florida Institute for Neurological Rehabilitation. 
http://www.finr.org/ 

I am definitely excited, they have some programs Ill probly do, like I'll probly start out sharing a cabin and move to a supported living apartment Theyll help me with goal setting, vocational training, community integration, and Ill have  cognitive rehab and teach me some strategies.


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## Monolith (May 13, 2004)

Glad to see things are workin out for ya! 

And hey, bodybuilding isnt that important... and youre young, anyway, so theres plenty of time to come back to it.


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## chiquita6683 (May 13, 2004)

> _*Originally posted by Monolith *_
> And hey, bodybuilding isnt that important... and youre young, anyway, so theres plenty of time to come back to it.



omg that is so good to hear!

ive been soo unhappy! EVERYTHING in my life has been screwed   what was i thinking?

u know what i just told my aunt? i was like "yea i was such a spoiled brat be4!!!......." seriously!

 im not bodybuilding anymore
i was so worried about diet, like 2worried! ima quit cooking all my food, i hated that anyway! 

im only twenty yrs old! 2-0!!! there are other things to be concentrateing on!

fitness/staying in shape is one thing, ill still be fit, but i was hardcore going after this goal......
i was so out of shape when i started!
i didnt understand anything, got in shape, but im not building the muscle like i want, not yet i guess 
all this is expensive too!


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