# MonStar's Journal: Stopping the Insanity!



## M.J.H. (Nov 22, 2004)

I know this is f*cking ridiculous, I do NOT need to hear it. 

This journal is going to be about stopping the insanity---stopping the 30,000 journals, stopping the binging, stopping all of the stupid bullsh*t that I continue to do over and over again and again. For some reason I use changing my program/journal as a way to justify my binging. It's honestly just a horrible mindset that I have to change, before it gets worse. 

Please keep posts positive, I would really appreciate it.


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## M.J.H. (Nov 22, 2004)

Sunday; 11-21-2004

Training:

Feel like f*cking hell today at the gym because I pigged out like crazy last night. Ate a pint of Ben & Jerry's, lots of dinner rolls, and some pizza. Along with a big handful of oatmeal raisin cookies. Not the best thing to do at 3:00 AM---I feel bloated/fat today.  

*Bentover Rows*
315 x 7
315 x 7
315 x 7
315 x 7

*CG Cable Pulldowns*
230 x 5
230 x 5
230 x 5
230 x 5
230 x 5 

*Nautilus Pullovers*
250 x 10
250 x 10
250 x 10

*Bentover DB Lateral Raises*
35's x 8
35's x 8

Good workout today I think, really hit my lats hard. I haven't trained my lats with any kind of substantial volume in a long long time. Nice to get back into the swing of it again. Started off with some bentover rows, and then some pulldowns. Nice sets---pullovers were friggin' exhausting! Beat the hell out of my lats/serratus with them. Overall workout was good. 

Diet: 

*Meal 1:* 1% cottage cheese + pineapple
*Preworkout:* 1 scoop of Swole 
*Postworkout:* whey protein + 1% milk
*Meal 3:* baked chicken + chicken broth
*Meal 4:* 1/2 turkey & cheese sandwich
*Meal 5:* grilled chicken sandwich
*Meal 6:* MRP + 1% milk + peanut butter
*Meal 7:* spaghetti + tomato sauce + ground beef
*Meal 8:* 1/2 tuna salad sandwich

Sleep: 8 hours, I needed it.


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## Velvet (Nov 22, 2004)

MonStar said:
			
		

> For some reason I use changing my program/journal as a way to justify my binging.



Been there!  Just don't do it again Mister


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## M.J.H. (Nov 22, 2004)

*Velvet:* Thanks, nice to see that someone has been in my shoes before. I appreciate the support, and I agree that it's getting ridiculous. I love your new avatar, by the way!


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## M.J.H. (Nov 22, 2004)

Monday; 11-22-2004

Training:

Decent chest workout I guess, for some reason I wasn't impressed with my workout today, I have no idea why. Maybe I am used to HIT now and it's tough getting back into regular volume training again? I am not sure what the problem is.  

*Decline BB Presses*
295 x 7
295 x 7
295 x 7
295 x 7

*Incline DB Presses*
110's x 6
110's x 6 
110's x 6

*Nautilus Pec-Deck Flyes*
180 x 10
180 x 10

*Flat DB Flyes*
65's x 9
65's x 9

Overall workout was decent, but I wouldn't say that this was a good workout at all. I need to really get back into the swing of training regularly, I feel like my body is rejecting this kind of training or something. Just like last time around when I switched back from HIT to volume style training, I was having sh*tty workouts.  

Diet: 

*Meal 1:* 1% cottage cheese + pineapple
*Preworkout:* 1 scoop of Swole
*Postworkout:* whey protein + 1% milk
*Meal 3:* turkey breast + gravy
*Meal 4:* turkey & cheese sandwich
*Meal 5:* chicken salad sandwich
*Meal 6:* garden salad + tuna salad + vinegarette dressing
*Meal 7:* 1/2 egg salad + cheese sandwich
*Meal 8:* peanut butter
*Meal 9:* grilled chicken + cheese soft taco

Damn, I resisted binging tonight, thank God. It was definitely tough---because my girlfriend was eating some Ben & Jerry's, it was 'Brownie Batter' and I had a taste, wow, it was delicious!  

Sleep: 7.5 hours.

Today I went to see "National Treasure" in the theaters and I thought it sucked, but while I was there I put a quarter in to weigh myself on this scale, and I weighed 229 lbs. In case anyone is curious.


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## Velvet (Nov 22, 2004)

MonStar said:
			
		

> *Velvet:* Thanks, nice to see that someone has been in my shoes before. I appreciate the support, and I agree that it's getting ridiculous. I love your new avatar, by the way!



Anytime hon


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## ncgirl21 (Nov 22, 2004)

Good Luck with this journal Mike     Just tell yourself that you HAVE to keep this one, binge or no binge, you can't change journals.  We won't judge you because you mess up, that's life, just learn to move past it- tomorrow is always a new day.  Don't beat yourself up over petty shit, just do what's right for you, and if making new journals makes you feel THAT much better- just do it     It doesn't bother me one way or another, it's your prefrence and the whole purpose of this forum is to help people live healthier lifestyles IMO, so if new journals somehow help you start a clean slate than more power to you.  I've been there before, I know how it is.  Good Luck Sweetie


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## M.J.H. (Nov 22, 2004)

*Velvet:* Your entire gallery is great, wow. 

*Andrea:* Thanks so much for the support Andrea, I really appreciate it a lot. I completely agree that I have to hang in there no matter what. If I binge, if I change programs, no matter what. Nice to see such an inspirational post---means a lot.


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## klmclean (Nov 22, 2004)

Don't be so hard on yourself for starting up a new journal. Just do what works, even if others don't understand. We're all here to help eachother out


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## fantasma62 (Nov 22, 2004)

Oh C'mon Mike!!!
You have got to be kidding me with this, you want supportive comments????



 Just joking, I figured you'd get a kick out of this...You do know that you are nutz right?  Certifiable...right?   

Hey man, you can make a million journals, I'll still support you (Please don't take the journal thing literally )

You know me, I am always trying to lighten the air, you OCD buddy, you.....

Have a great day!!!!


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## PreMier (Nov 22, 2004)




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## BritChick (Nov 22, 2004)

Ew... that was pretty twisted Monolith.   

Good luck with everything.   

How much water do you drink Mike?


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## CowPimp (Nov 22, 2004)

Just post when you binge.  It is no different than changing your journal.  When you change, we know you binged.  It's sort of like telling us implicitly.

Anyway, I don't care how many journals you start, your progress has always been impressive to me.  Nobody's perfect.


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## M.J.H. (Nov 23, 2004)

*klmclean:* Thanks for the support, I honestly don't know why I am hard on myself for starting a journal, it's really not that big of a deal. I just tend to make a big deal out of it for whatever reason. 

*Tony:* Hey man, thanks for stopping by, I am glad that you're joking around because that's really what I need at this point. All I am trying to do at this point is keep this journal and training program. Even if I do go on an all out balls to the wall binge session, I want to make sure that I keep this journal and post the details of it here. How I felt beforehand, how I felt after, etc. I think that it will be a good idea.

*Monolith:* I would appreciate you deleting that post, those pictures are sickening bud. 

*Jake:* Haha, at least I know you're reading. 

*BritChick:* Hey there! I actually don't drink enough water at all to be honest. I drink a ton of diet soda, and a lot of unsweetened iced tea, usually with Equal or Sweet & Low. I need to really focusing on drinking more actual water. The only time I honestly drink it is if nothing else is available or if I am at the gym, from the water fountain. 

*CowPimp:* I absolutely agree with you there man, completely. I think that posting my binges will be a learning experience overall. I just have a tendency to tell myself that if I don't post it or start a new journal somehow it's okay and I am starting from a clean start. Makes no sense, basically, just a painful cycle I put myself through on a regular basis.


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## Velvet (Nov 23, 2004)

Good morning Mikey


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## Luke9583 (Nov 23, 2004)

Journal whore....


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## M.J.H. (Nov 23, 2004)

*Velvet:* Good morning! I have off from work today so I am going to be looking for a new job, along with messing with my Prelude that I just got back out of the shop. Hope you have a great day. 

*Luke:* LOL, I am not arguing that one!


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## cman (Nov 23, 2004)

Dude post a pic of your prelude!


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## M.J.H. (Nov 23, 2004)

*cman:* I hate getting off-topic here in my journal, but this was my Prelude about 6 months ago. Now it looks completely different. Different bodykit, same wheels but 18's now, no spoiler, now it's a 5-speed with a new JDM motor, etc.

As you can see it's my other hobby, besides working out.


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## Velvet (Nov 23, 2004)

MonStar said:
			
		

> *cman:* I hate getting off-topic here in my journal, but this was my Prelude about 6 months ago. Now it looks completely different. Different bodykit, same wheels but 18's now, no spoiler, now it's a 5-speed with a new JDM motor, etc.
> 
> As you can see it's my other hobby, besides working out.




Sweet ride Mikey..come pick me up...lets go cruisin


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## Luke9583 (Nov 23, 2004)

Nice 'lude MonStar.  Do you autocross or anything?


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## M.J.H. (Nov 23, 2004)

*Velvet:* LOL, yeah I like it a lot. The first time that I saw a Prelude I almost crapped myself, I was 16 at the time and I had never seen one before. It was love at first sight. 

*Luke:* Thanks bud, nope no auto-crossing for me, basically just modding for the fun of it. I really like improving the looks/handling of the car, but when it comes to competing it's just not my thing. Similar to how I feel about bodybuilding, actually. Takes the fun out of it, IMO.


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## M.J.H. (Nov 23, 2004)

Tuesday; 11-23-2004

Training:

Good workout today I think, I haven't trained my legs in a long long time. And wow, I must say that I am not used to how exhausted I get from hitting them. Overall workout was good, though.

*Conventional Deadlifts*
135 x 3
225 x 3
315 x 3
405 x 3
*515 x 5!*
*570 x 2!* 

Two PR's here today, 570 for a double is a friggin' awesome PR for me. I have never hit anything more than 545 for a double in deadlifts. I had one of the powerlifters who trains at my gym yelling at me during the set, I think that's what did it. 

*Hack Squats*
500 x 7
570 x 5
460 x 9

*Nautilus Leg Extensions*
Dropset: 
260 x 14
220 x 11
180 x 8
140 x 8

*Smith-Machine Calf Raises*
285 x 15 
335 x 12 
365 x 9 

*Nautilus Crunches*
190 x 16
230 x 8 

After the deadlifts I was absolutely exhausted. I could barely manage to do 3 sets of hack squats. Did a dropset with leg extensions and then some calf raises and abs, and called it a day. Overall workout was good. 

Diet: 

*Meal 1:* 1% cottage cheese + pineapple
*Meal 2:* grilled chicken + cheese soft taco, fat-free yogurt 
*Preworkout:* 1 scoop of Swole 
*Postworkout:* whey protein + 1% milk
*Meal 4:* tuna salad sandwich
*Meal 5:* chicken pot pie, 1 glass of wine
*Meal 6:* peanut butter 

Damn, I ate about 10 tbsp. of peanut butter in my last meal. I was craving something sweet so I just stuffed myself with peanut butter. Damn tasty stuff right out of the jar!  

Sleep: 9 hours.


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## klmclean (Nov 23, 2004)

Good Luck on your job hunt  

In regards to your Prelude check out this website www.powertechimports.com
They might have some things you'd be interested in for your car


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## chris mason (Nov 23, 2004)

Mike, I think you need to change your perspective.  Eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's along with some pizza and dinner roles is not a binge.  

Heck, there was a time where I was eating a pint of that stuff every night as a snack.  

I think your idea of a binge is just eating a lot of some food you consider "bad".  Big fucking deal!  If you were being rational about it you would realize that what you did was not a binge at all and that you don't have a real problem in that respect.  Your problem is with your perception of reality with respect to how much you eat of certain foods.  You eat a pretty consistent diet and sometimes give in and eat some goodies in large amounts.  That is no big deal. It is ok.


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## BritChick (Nov 23, 2004)

*BritChick:* Hey there! I actually don't drink enough water at all to be honest. I drink a ton of diet soda, and a lot of unsweetened iced tea, usually with Equal or Sweet & Low. I need to really focusing on drinking more actual water. The only time I honestly drink it is if nothing else is available or if I am at the gym, from the water fountain. 

Mike, I can relate to not being a big water drinker, it's only been since early this year that I changed that bad habit.  I used to live off of coffee and diet coke.  Obvioulsy there are MANY reasons why you _should_ be drinking water but one reason especially for you is I think is that quite often when we feel hungry you're actually not hungry but thirsty, we just tend to read our body's signals incorrectly.  For myself, also a binge eater but one who has it at least a little more under control these days I find that drinking at least 4 - 5 litres of water a day seriously puts a dent in my binging tendencies, on days where I only down about 1 or 2 litres I usually screw up on my diet... just a pattern I have noticed in myself, might be worth a try.


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## M.J.H. (Nov 23, 2004)

*klmclean:* Hey there, thanks for the link, appreciate it. 

*chris:* Hey man, thanks for continuing to read my journal, I know it gets annoying since I start a new one every other day. But anyway, I think you're right maybe I don't have as big of a problem as I am making it out to be. I mean to me a handful of cookies, and a pint of ice-cream and some pizza is a binge, hands down. But then again, it really is just a cheat meal. 

I am going to keep this journal chris, and of course your training advice is welcomed! I am still taking the ETS---jumping back on the volume style training gave me a little more DOMS than usual. But still nothing compared to what I was getting before the ETS. It's really amazing that my diet can stay the same and taking 8 capsules can reduce DOMS by that much. 

*BritChick:* That's something I have never even considered at all! My water intake is always been sh*tty, honestly. I mean at one point I was making an effort to increase it. But for whatever reason I don't like drinking water at all. I prefer diet soda hands down, I don't know why. It almost pains me to drink water for some reason. 

I am going to start paying attention to my body's signals though BC, thanks for the input. Next time I feel hungry I am going to try and drink 32 oz. of water and then see how hungry I feel. It might just kill my appetite.


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## PreMier (Nov 23, 2004)

Carbination dehydrates you, so maybe cut back on the soda.


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## Cold Iron (Nov 23, 2004)

Nice work on the pr's. Did u just change from v12 to swole?


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## soxmuscle (Nov 23, 2004)

I drink water and milk.  I haven't had anything besides the two, other than alcohol, for two years.  I am at the point that I want nothing besides water and milk, and I assure you that with only a few months, even weeks, you'll be at this same point aswell.


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## Rocco32 (Nov 23, 2004)

Hey, gotta stop in and say good luck buddy! BTW, why did you quit HIT? Oh and congrats on your PR!!


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## Velvet (Nov 24, 2004)

Good morning Mikey..that was a mighty strong w/o man


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## sara (Nov 24, 2004)

Good luck Mike 
Wishing you the best of luck!!!


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## M.J.H. (Nov 24, 2004)

*Jake:* That's interesting as well, because I have never read that before. Definitely something I am going to have to start keeping in mind though, thanks for the info bud. Appreciate it. 

*Arnie's left nu:* Yes, I did change from V-12 to Swole. I prefer the Swole. 

*soxmuscle:* Yeah man I am going to have to start forcing myself literally to drink just water because at this point I'll almost refuse to drink it even if there is nothing else available. I just like drinking something with some sort of taste, for whatever reason. I don't know why but for some reason when I am eating I feel like it almost ruins the meal without some kind of tasteful drink, no matter what it is. 

*rock:* Hey man, thanks for stopping by. I stopped HIT basically just because of the fun factor---I am obsessed with the gym, and it's impossible for me not to get in the gym on a regular basis. HIT was every other day for 15-20 minutes, that's like torture for me. 

*Velvet:* Hey there! Thanks so much for the support, it was a pretty decent workout. I haven't deadlifted in a long time. 

*sara:* Thanks for the support.


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## soxmuscle (Nov 24, 2004)

MonStar said:
			
		

> *soxmuscle:* Yeah man I am going to have to start forcing myself literally to drink just water because at this point I'll almost refuse to drink it even if there is nothing else available. I just like drinking something with some sort of taste, for whatever reason. I don't know why but for some reason when I am eating I feel like it almost ruins the meal without some kind of tasteful drink, no matter what it is.
> 
> 
> > Today for the first time in a while in week I had bottled water.  For whatever reason, I felt it hard to drink, haha.  It's so odd because as soon as I want back to my tap water filled bottle, I was chugging it away.
> ...


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## naturaltan (Nov 24, 2004)

Mon ... g/l with your goals.  I find it quite amusing that others will stop in to complain about the number of journals you keep starting.  

I do have a question though on that subject, how does having journals help you?


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## Luke9583 (Nov 24, 2004)

Hey Mike!

 You don't need to compete with anybody except yourself to autocross.  You should seriously try it sometime!  It's a crap load of fun, and you'll learn alot about yourself, your car and your abilities!


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## naturaltan (Nov 24, 2004)

Luke ... is that you driving?


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## M.J.H. (Nov 24, 2004)

*soxmuscle:* Interesting bud, I'll definitely have to keep that in mind. I am going to try and just drink all iced water from now on, no more diet soda! Even though I know that it's going to be tough to break the habit, I think that it will be a good move when I do. Thanks for the input bud.

*naturaltan:* Thanks for the support man, I don't know why anyone cares how many journals I make. Journals just helps me keep everything in line almost, all my meals, all of my workouts, sleep, everything. Otherwise I wouldn't pay much attention to all of the details. 

*Luke:* Sounds like a great time, hit me up some time on AIM bud, if you don't mind. Drives me nuts when my journals gets filled with all kinds of off-topic stuff.


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## M.J.H. (Nov 24, 2004)

Wednesday; 11-24-2004

Training:

Good workout today I think, decided to hit up some arms before turkey day, I know that I am going to go all out tomorrow! Just because it's only Thanksgiving one day out of the entire year, I can spare to pig out some I think. My diet hasn't been TOO bad lately. 

*Standing BB Curls*
95 x 12
115 x 10
135 x 5

*Skullcrushers*
105 x 12
125 x 10
*150 x 8!*

*Reverse Cable Curls*
Dropset: 
160 x 11
130 x 9
100 x 8
70 x 8

*Cable Pressdowns* 
Dropset: 
200 x 14
170 x 11
140 x 9
110 x 9

Overall workout was good today, a short session honestly I was rushing around before work. Nice sets though, I have to admit. Hit my biceps and triceps hard---that's for sure. Did 3 worksets for each and then a dropset and called it a day. I don't think my arms need all that much volume to grow, personally. 

Diet: 

*Meal 1:* MRP + 1% milk
*Preworkout:* 1 scoop of Swole 
*Postworkout:* whey protein + 1% milk
*Meal 3:* 1/2 turkey & cheese sandwich
*Meal 4:* 2 breaded chicken breasts
*Meal 5:* chicken salad sandwich
*Meal 6:* ? 

Sleep: 6 hours. Oh well.


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## Mudge (Nov 24, 2004)

Luke9583 said:
			
		

> You don't need to compete with anybody except yourself to autocross.  You should seriously try it sometime!  It's a crap load of fun, and you'll learn alot about yourself, your car and your abilities!



Ahh, I miss my times at the track. I have never done AutoX only RR, but it is truly a blast and I miss it. I was last at SIR (Infineon) with my 240Z which is about to be sold, I have also been to Thunderhill several times, very fun and safe track. I want to hit Laguna but they are very strict on sound regs, I think its 92db. Some people run so much restriction in the exaust they blow head gaskets, and if you "fake the meter" by driving half throttle by the sound test area they will black flag you anyway.

AutoX is the prefered way to get started though, low speed car control, and the time sheets are very competitive. Some people actually prefer to never move onto RR because of the close "racing."

Main point is to have fun, not neccessarily win everything, at least for me   You will find guys 50+ years old still doing it, so you come across guys with mucho experience, lots of fun people to talk to and cars to see.


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## Mudge (Nov 24, 2004)

MonStar said:
			
		

> I just like drinking something with some sort of taste, for whatever reason. I don't know why but for some reason when I am eating I feel like it almost ruins the meal without some kind of tasteful drink, no matter what it is.



I was like that for a long time. If I didn't have milk with my meals I usually felt hungry afterwards, if I had straight water forget it, I was always hungry. We are spoiled here in the states with unhealthy sugary crap.


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## Cold Iron (Nov 24, 2004)

MonStar: said:
			
		

> *Arnie's left nu:* Yes, I did change from V-12 to Swole. I prefer the Swole.



I mentioned it b/c i made the opposite switch at about the same time. I really like them both but I'll give the edge to V12


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