# Im pissed, horny and



## SheriV (Nov 8, 2013)

the man fucking fell asleep


this is annoying

post cock pics here to cheer me up

kthxbi


----------



## [SIL] (Nov 8, 2013)

cut his penis off


----------



## sneedham (Nov 8, 2013)

then throw out window at a very high rate of speed....


----------



## OfficerFarva (Nov 8, 2013)

Well hello!


----------



## SheriV (Nov 8, 2013)

I can't drive. I'm drunk
mildly buzzed?
I've resumed drinking because I'm only mildly buzzed

"pissed" as in drunk


but yeah, I'm getting angry thinking about it

wtf


----------



## futureMrO (Nov 8, 2013)

SheriV said:


> the man fucking fell asleep
> 
> 
> this is annoying
> ...


that sounds like an ambien problem, plus if your horny either masturbate ( and post pics ) or punch yourself in the Gentiles until you the feeling of hornieness subsides


----------



## SheriV (Nov 8, 2013)

I masturbated twice...I'll post pics next time


----------



## futureMrO (Nov 8, 2013)

did you punch yourself in the Gentiles ?


----------



## SheriV (Nov 8, 2013)

no but I think my vibe might be terminal

or need new batteries. not sure which


----------



## futureMrO (Nov 8, 2013)

SheriV said:


> no but I think my vibe might be terminal
> 
> or need new batteries. not sure which


thats why you have a back up that plugs in, me and my girl have this and its other worldly


----------



## SheriV (Nov 8, 2013)

sceery!

I'll stick to my pocket rocket

now I'm angry more booze isn't getting me drunk again...dammit
why is this happening?!?


----------



## futureMrO (Nov 8, 2013)

SheriV said:


> sceery!
> 
> I'll stick to my* pocket rocket*
> 
> ...


pussy haha, upgrade to the real deal


----------



## SheriV (Nov 8, 2013)

i just need the little man in the boat to have fun and Im easy uhhhhhh to get off


----------



## futureMrO (Nov 8, 2013)

whatever works right


----------



## SheriV (Nov 8, 2013)

titcr


----------



## futureMrO (Nov 8, 2013)

plus that thing rocks the little man in the boat like nothing else, its got like 1 minute tops before your off haha


----------



## SheriV (Nov 8, 2013)

I dunno..my pocket rocket is this ultra fine vibration and water proof...bonus for the tub and wine


----------



## futureMrO (Nov 8, 2013)

ya i wouldnt put this in the water lol you might get more than you asked for and its not a fine vibration its more like a jack hammer lol vicodin is making this a very fun conversation


----------



## SheriV (Nov 8, 2013)

I need more booze..

Im gonna have to ask certain mods to delete this tomorrow

you know who you are


----------



## futureMrO (Nov 8, 2013)

yep but it was fun while it lasted, it can be like our own little secret


----------



## [SIL] (Nov 8, 2013)

drunk threads are the best..looks even better the next day..carry on


----------



## SheriV (Nov 8, 2013)

LOLOLOL, I bet

I can imagine what Im gonna think of this tomorrow


----------



## futureMrO (Nov 8, 2013)

your gonna think damn futuremro is only 22 and that sexy


----------



## SheriV (Nov 8, 2013)

hahahahahaha


----------



## futureMrO (Nov 8, 2013)

^^^ that wasnt a no so im taking it as a yes. win for me


----------



## NoCode8511 (Nov 8, 2013)

SheriV said:


> I masturbated twice...I'll post pics next time



You have our attention


----------



## futureMrO (Nov 8, 2013)

aw sheri your gone for the night, what am i suppose to do with this ragging vicodin induced boner now


----------



## SheriV (Nov 8, 2013)

send pics


----------



## OfficerFarva (Nov 8, 2013)

futureMrO said:


> aw sheri your gone for the night, what am i suppose to do with this ragging vicodin induced boner now



Go check out the barely legal thread in AG.  I'm almost at the casino and am probably going to get raped by the roulette table again (the ones in Vegas were not nice to me).


----------



## futureMrO (Nov 8, 2013)

OfficerFarva said:


> Go check out the barely legal thread in AG.  I'm almost at the casino and am probably going to get raped by the roulette table again (the ones in Vegas were not nice to me).


 solid advice, when some money bro


----------



## heckler7 (Nov 8, 2013)

so you haven't tried to wake him up with a blow job yet? waking up from a BJ gives me the hardest wood ever


----------



## theCaptn' (Nov 9, 2013)

SheriV said:


> I need more booze..
> 
> Im gonna have to ask certain mods to delete this tomorrow
> 
> you know who you are



I think you need tren . . . . . or gtfo


----------



## cube789 (Nov 9, 2013)

[SIL] said:


> drunk threads are the best..looks even better the next day..carry on


----------



## cube789 (Nov 9, 2013)




----------



## Watson (Nov 9, 2013)

SheriV said:


> sceery!
> 
> I'll stick to my pocket rocket
> 
> ...



im the only one who wants to be reincarnated as sheriVs vibe? (except the nights she shoves it up her bfs ass lmao)


----------



## DaMaster (Nov 9, 2013)

Guess the NPP hit ya hard!


----------



## heckler7 (Nov 9, 2013)

theCaptn' said:


> I think you need tren . . . . . or gtfo


OP's man has Deca dick


----------



## Bowden (Nov 9, 2013)

SheriV said:


> I can't drive. I'm drunk
> mildly buzzed?
> I've resumed drinking because I'm only mildly buzzed
> 
> ...



FYI.
It's a really bad idea to post details of your marital sexual dysfunctions while drunk.

Hope that helps.

P.S.
Supergluing his dick to his hand will show him.


----------



## dieseljimmy (Nov 9, 2013)

Woah I woke up this morning with my hand glued to my dik. Wierd huh. I was so tired last night


----------



## SheriV (Nov 9, 2013)

Please take care of this..tyia


----------



## [SIL] (Nov 9, 2013)

good morning


----------



## Bowden (Nov 9, 2013)

SheriV said:


> Please take care of this..tyia


----------



## SheriV (Nov 9, 2013)

haha


I didn't get to sleep until almost 5 am then woke up at 9. Today is gonna suck at best.


----------



## Bowden (Nov 9, 2013)

Supergluing his dick to a vacuum cleaner might get his attention.

Dwarf rushed to hospital after gluing his penis to a hoover | Mail Online

*Dwarf rushed to hospital after gluing his penis to a hoover*

 Last updated at 16:18 20 August 2007

 A dwarf performing at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival was rushed to hospital after he glued his penis to a vacuum cleaner.
 Daniel Blackner - who performs in the Circus of Horrors as Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf - said the incident happened as he prepared for a show.
 As part of the spectacle, the dwarf pulls a Henry vacuum cleaner across the show attached to his penis.



 
Stuck: Daniel Blackner became attached to the hoover with extra strong glue




 But a special attachment connecting the 42-year-old to the appliance came loose.
 He decided to fix the broken apparatus with extra strong glue, but he left it to dry for only 20 seconds, instead of 20 minutes.
 This meant when he connected himself to the vacuum cleaner, the glue was not yet dry, and his penis was immediately stuck fast.






 Smiling: Daniel Blackner before the incident

He was taken to the accident and emergency department of Edinburgh Royal Infirmary, where, he said, nurses struggled for an hour to free him.
 Mr Blackner said: "It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E with a vacuum attached to me.
 "I just wished the ground could swallow me up. Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short lived."






The ingredients: To the cringe-worthy incident


 A hospital source confirmed that they treated the performer.
 But a spokesman for the Royal Infirmary said he could not comment on individual cases.


----------



## Intense (Nov 9, 2013)

SheriV said:


> I masturbated twice...I'll post pics next time




All you do is fucking lie!


----------



## dieseljimmy (Nov 9, 2013)

Intense said:


> All you do is fucking lie!



To you...


----------



## Little Wing (Nov 9, 2013)

this seems to support my theory that it's women who get the angriest when deprived of sex when married. men just go jerk it but for a woman that really likes sex masturbating is good but a lot of the fun is just plain missing. 

painting his fingernails and toenails bright red will at least get you giggling when he gets up to pee and then comes back to bed and angrily faces the wall.


----------



## Little Wing (Nov 9, 2013)

if he was drinking smear lube on his asshole and leave a large toy nearby... let him wonder.


----------



## G3 (Nov 9, 2013)

Alright girls, I will help you. Next time this happens, soak your bare ass in a pail of ice water then go in and MASH it on his sleeping face. Man would it be great to wake up to that!


----------



## Zaphod (Nov 9, 2013)

SheriV said:


> post cock pics here to cheer me up
> 
> kthxbi



I would but I don't want to embarrass myself.


----------



## s2h (Nov 9, 2013)

I bet somebody would like this thread deleted??

(10 inch cucumber 3/4's of the way in on HD film and it's done)


----------



## Bowden (Nov 9, 2013)

Intense said:


> All you do is fucking lie!



Check your PMs
I would have sworn that I saw your screen name on the distribution list of the PM with the masturbation pics that she just sent out.


----------



## dieseljimmy (Nov 9, 2013)

s2h said:


> I bet somebody would like this thread deleted??
> 
> (10 inch cucumber 3/4's of the way in on HD film and it's done)



I want to.. but its turned into a real gem


----------



## SheriV (Nov 9, 2013)

LOLOLOL

it sorta has

but I thought you loved me Jimmy..haha


----------



## the_predator (Nov 9, 2013)

Little Wing said:


> *this seems to support my theory that it's women who get the angriest when deprived of sex when married. *men just go jerk it but for a woman that really likes sex masturbating is good but a lot of the fun is just plain missing.
> 
> painting his fingernails and toenails bright red will at least get you giggling when he gets up to pee and then comes back to bed and angrily faces the wall.


^You never seen me on high does tren then! If my wife says no then we are usually getting into a fight! When I lose(as always) I LHJO so hard I almost break the screen on my iPad when my load comes out so hard and angry. I don't always take tren...but when I do... I jerk off so hard things get broke.


----------



## theCaptn' (Nov 9, 2013)

the_predator said:


> ^You never seen me on high does tren then! If my wife says no then we are usually getting into a fight! When I lose(as always) I LHJO so hard I almost break the screen on my iPad when my load comes out so hard and angry. I don't always take tren...but when I do... I jerk off so hard things get broke.



Wait till she falls asleep, then jizz in her hair


----------



## Intense (Nov 9, 2013)

Bowden said:


> Check your PMs
> I would have sworn that I saw your screen name on the distribution list of the PM with the masturbation pics that she just sent out.




All I got a pic of was SheriV dropping a log..


----------



## Zaphod (Nov 9, 2013)

Intense said:


> All I got a pic of was SheriV dropping a log..


----------



## the_predator (Nov 9, 2013)

theCaptn' said:


> Wait till she falls asleep, then jizz in her hair


^I tried...but I pussed out at the last minute and went all over the remote control instead. It's cool though, when she turned on "Oprah" or "drop dead diva" or what ever the hell she was going to watch she still got a sticky surprise. Even in failure, I sort of won.....


----------



## G3 (Nov 10, 2013)

Intense said:


> All I got a pic of was SheriV dropping a log..




I feel left out!  Was it hot anyway??


----------



## SheriV (Nov 10, 2013)

Intense said:


> All I got a pic of was SheriV dropping a log..



don't act like that wasn't your special request


----------



## oufinny (Nov 10, 2013)

I'm offended I did not get the PM... and to think I LHJO for Sheri!


----------



## [SIL] (Nov 10, 2013)

is sheriv still drunk?


----------



## SheriV (Nov 10, 2013)

nope..

I think I have strep tho, that count?


----------



## Tesla (Nov 10, 2013)

WTF....Great thread! lol


----------



## s2h (Nov 10, 2013)

SheriV said:


> nope..
> 
> I think I have strep tho, that count?



Last time Dr s2h's 2ball root juice cleared it up quick...I can shot some over if needed...house calls are always welcome.


----------



## Watson (Nov 11, 2013)

tit pics or this thread goes viral...................jk lolz


----------



## SheriV (Nov 11, 2013)

s2h said:


> Last time Dr s2h's 2ball root juice cleared it up quick...I can shot some over if needed...house calls are always welcome.




lol...smh


----------



## s2h (Nov 11, 2013)

Its being air delivered....please keep DJ away from it ....he gets jelly...


----------



## heckler7 (Nov 11, 2013)

so di you get laid yet or not? and why the hell didn't we get any drunk titty pics WTF


----------



## s2h (Nov 11, 2013)

leave the poor girl alone...she got tanked...toyed herself..broke the toy..ran out of party supplies..and admitted to engaging in sinful acts with DJ and his mass of anabolic studliness...

what more of a humbling experience could one have?


----------



## futureMrO (Nov 11, 2013)

s2h said:


> leave the poor girl alone...she got tanked...toyed herself..broke the toy..ran out of party supplies..and admitted to engaging in sinful acts with DJ and his mass of anabolic studliness...
> 
> *what more of a humbling experience could one have?*


engaging in sinful acts with me


----------



## heckler7 (Nov 11, 2013)

s2h said:


> leave the poor girl alone...she got tanked...toyed herself..broke the toy..ran out of party supplies..and admitted to engaging in sinful acts with DJ and his mass of anabolic studliness...
> 
> what more of a humbling experience could one have?


fantasizing about musclebears in her yard


----------



## REDDOG309 (Nov 12, 2013)

SheriV said:


> the man fucking fell asleep
> 
> 
> this is annoying
> ...



You should have tea bagged him....


----------



## charley (Nov 12, 2013)

Once a prick , always a prick....


----------



## futureMrO (Nov 12, 2013)

charley said:


> Once a prick , always a prick....


haha a couple of those look like deflated balloon animals


----------



## SheriV (Nov 12, 2013)

I have no idea what that is but it skeeves me out


also...Im finishing off this booze this evening

missing my window for the gym so im having a pity party for myself.


----------



## futureMrO (Nov 12, 2013)

SheriV said:


> I have no idea what that is but it skeeves me out
> 
> 
> also...Im finishing off this booze this evening
> ...


now that sounds fun


----------



## Watson (Nov 13, 2013)

SheriV said:


> I have no idea what that is but it skeeves me out
> 
> 
> also...Im finishing off this booze this evening
> ...



at least a bare ass pic for us fools on here would be welcomed.....


----------



## s2h (Nov 13, 2013)

Wanna thank SheriV in advance for the act of sinful behavior she will bestow upon us tonight in her rage of Popov Vodka drunkness.....

P.S..just a wink from the pink makes us happy


----------



## G3 (Nov 14, 2013)

s2h said:


> Wanna thank SheriV in advance for the act of sinful behavior she will bestow upon us tonight in her rage of Popov Vodka drunkness.....
> 
> P.S..just a wink from the pink makes us happy



Or a wink of the sphinck!!


----------



## s2h (Nov 14, 2013)

So how was that 1/5th of McCormick Vodka?....nothing but the best.....


----------



## dieseljimmy (Nov 14, 2013)

s2h said:


> Its being air delivered....please keep DJ away from it ....he gets jelly...



I allow and encourage everyone to flirt/harrass/expose themselves to sheri.


----------



## SheriV (Nov 14, 2013)

s2h said:


> So how was that 1/5th of McCormick Vodka?....nothing but the best.....




lolol, now that's just low


Cirroc ftw!
I have been indulging in twisted tea these last few days tho... idk why


----------



## SheriV (Nov 14, 2013)

dieseljimmy said:


> I allow and encourage everyone to flirt/harrass/expose themselves to sheri.




I took it to mean you were jealous of s2h


----------



## IronAddict (Nov 14, 2013)

I see we have something else in common, SheriV.

I'm always pissed & horny, too.

But it's a lil more like pissed, horny and hongry!


----------



## REDDOG309 (Nov 14, 2013)

dieseljimmy said:


> I allow and encourage everyone to flirt/harrass/expose themselves to sheri.



We can have a 3 way sword fight, reach arounds are encouraged........


----------



## SheriV (Nov 14, 2013)

I dont think you have enough length for an even three way sword fight...sorry

only adults sized penises allowed


----------



## SheriV (Nov 14, 2013)

dieseljimmy said:


> I allow and encourage everyone to flirt/harrass/expose themselves to sheri.



Im pretty sure I got e-dumped right here...


----------



## futureMrO (Nov 14, 2013)

REDDOG309 said:


> We can have a 3 way sword fight, reach arounds are encouraged........


their not only encouraged, they are mandatory!


----------



## REDDOG309 (Nov 14, 2013)

SheriV said:


> I dont think you have enough length for an even three way sword fight...sorry
> 
> only adults sized penises allowed


 
The Sphincter is located at the outer most part of the anus, luckily for me.......


----------



## SheriV (Nov 14, 2013)

oh you said sword fight, I assumed it would be too humiliating for you to partake in, given that mines bigger


----------



## hypo_glycemic (Nov 14, 2013)

any pics?


----------



## SheriV (Nov 14, 2013)

ask Jimmy...they should be hitting the open market any day now...


----------



## s2h (Nov 14, 2013)

I was just sitting around scratching my bull balls and wondered if DJ really had the goods to keep a little drunkard like SheriV from squaring down on some forgien sausage..


----------



## REDDOG309 (Nov 14, 2013)

SheriV said:


> oh you said sword fight, I assumed it would be too humiliating for you to partake in, given that mines bigger



got me a little pig sticker.....


----------



## dieseljimmy (Nov 14, 2013)

SheriV said:


> Im pretty sure I got e-dumped right here...



What I thought we agreed on a open relationship. ..if not I got some explaining to do


----------



## SheriV (Nov 14, 2013)

oh right!


hard to tell, you've been bitchy...I think you need your est levels looked at


----------



## blergs. (Nov 14, 2013)

SheriV said:


> I masturbated twice...I'll post pics next time



Please do ! :-d


----------



## SheriV (Nov 14, 2013)

s2h said:


> I was just sitting around scratching my bull balls and wondered if DJ really had the goods to keep a little drunkard like SheriV from squaring down on some forgien sausage..




yeah, idk, bull balls? really?


----------



## hypo_glycemic (Nov 14, 2013)

dieseljimmy said:


> What I thought we agreed on a open relationship. ..if not I got some explaining to do



Any pics?


----------



## SheriV (Nov 14, 2013)

dieseljimmy said:


> What I thought we agreed on a open relationship. ..if not I got some explaining to do




you know, this isn't really gonna work for me.

I mean, what happens when I hit that one conquest we discussed and then you get all, "sheriv, you said that one conquest and its done so uhm, stop" and I'm like," no Diesel Jimmy I'm a horny drunkard, I don't think I can stop" then you cry and I cry....



at least that's how it plays out in my head


we should renegotiate this


----------



## blergs. (Nov 14, 2013)

dieseljimmy said:


> I allow and encourage everyone to flirt/harrass/expose themselves to sheri.



K I have wanted to say this for a while now...
Show us your pussy! 
I still think you might be a man! ;-)


----------



## blergs. (Nov 14, 2013)

You cam pm me if you dont want it posted here :-d


----------



## s2h (Nov 14, 2013)

SheriV said:


> yeah, idk, bull balls? really?



Brahma bull at that...


----------



## Watson (Nov 15, 2013)

SheriV said:


> you know, this isn't really gonna work for me.
> 
> I mean, what happens when I hit that one conquest we discussed and then you get all, "sheriv, you said that one conquest and its done so uhm, stop" and I'm like," no Diesel Jimmy I'm a horny drunkard, I don't think I can stop" then you cry and I cry....
> 
> ...



i would guess a well lubed double penetration.......followed by a good cum bath........well thats for DJ but what do u want SheriV?


----------



## futureMrO (Nov 15, 2013)

everyone in this thread needs one of these


----------



## G3 (Nov 16, 2013)

If you flip it over is there an ass?


----------

